The Whimsical Man

By Donna G. Kelley

The Whimsical Man is a story about an impulsive husband, a cautious wife, and a LEMON. It is followed by a number of anecdotes including "Wedding Bloopers" and Portrait of a Has-Been."  Part 2, The Paper Cloud, is a follow-up concerning the consequences of Shep's whims. He obsessed to relocate, only to find hurdle upon hurdle with a mix of lawyers, real estate agents, buyers, and sellers. The resulting stress can be a challenge. Anyone who wants to move from here to there might find that it is easier said than done. Some might consider appearing on the TV serial "Day in Court." The story is followed by a number of anecdotes including "Wedding Bloopers" and Portrait of a Has-Been."  

• Language: English
• Publisher: Donna G. Kelley
• Release date: Jan 18, 2021
• ISBN: 9781393822035

Book preview

DEDICATION

I hereby dedicate The Whimsical Man to my family and relatives whose characterizations inspired me to write about familiar things.

FOREWORD

The Whimsical Man is a story about an impulsive husband, a cautious wife, and a LEMON. It is followed by a number of anecdotes including Wedding Bloopers and Portrait of a Has-Been."  

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Part Two, The Paper Cloud, is a follow-up concerning the consequences of Shep’s whims. He obsessed to relocate, only to find hurdle upon hurdle with a mix of lawyers, real estate agents, buyers, and sellers. The resulting stress can be a challenge.

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Anyone who wants to move from here to there might find that it is easier said than done. Some might consider appearing on the TV serial Day in Court.

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The story is followed by a number of anecdotes including Wedding Bloopers and Portrait of a Has-Been."  

PART ONE

CHAPTER ONE

WHIMS #2 AND #3:

CAMPER AND BICYCLE

Brittany cringed as Shep circled classified advertisements with a red-ink ballpoint, signifying that he harbored another impulse. Lately, the impulses had been cresting as often as the tides. She had barely recovered from Whim #1 – Shep’s purchase of a bicycle for each of them. There is a medical explanation for these sudden impulses occurring in the middle years—something about a last-ditch attempt to cram a lifetime into the remaining half of a lifetime. 

Flatness of Maryland’s Eastern Shore makes bicycling in the country very enjoyable. It presented an activity that Brittany could share with her husband. After shopping by phone, Brittany drove Shep to the store that sold their kind of bicycle. With animation, they compared styles until they settled for a man’s and woman’s 26" burgundy bicycle.

The gearless bikes sported the classic style of handlebars and thick tires.  Let’s exchange the banana seats for contour saddles, Brittany said.

Meanwhile, the bicycle accessories beckoned. Shep chose a speedometer-odometer; Brittany chose a wire basket and an odometer. A round trip of fourteen miles christened their new bicycles. Attachment to the handlebars made Shep’s odometer easy to read. Brittany’s perched on the front wheel. As hard as Brittany tried, she could never obtain a reading while in the act of riding.  Eventually, she discovered that the clerk had attached the odometer upside down.  Less expense means less accuracy. 

I nominate you as mileage-keeper, Brittan said.

We should buy rear-view mirrors, Shep said.

Brittany agreed.  "In this wind, it’s hard to hear a car approaching until