Shoes Ona Wire

By Na'Shan Clay

Hi. My name is Na'Shan Clay. I'm a kid from a city called Indianapolis, Indiana. Many thought I was going to die or go to jail at a young age. I was only known as a gang banger or a thug, but the world didn't know the true me. I faced narcissistic abuse at a very young age. So, I was a broken kid who was neglected. I was born into a gang and I gave my loyalty to this gang, but this same gang threatened to kill me. I lost over 30 friends to gun violence. Two of my friends were killed by the gang I was born into. My family is apart of this gang. I never had a dad in my life. I went house to house to couch to couch, but I overcame because of Jesus Christ. I made it on the news and it wasn't for a crime. It was to change my neighborhood that's known as the "ghetto". The world believes we are nothing but gang bangers, but that's not true. Just take a read and give me a chance please?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Oct 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781716515507

Book preview

Shoes Ona Wire

Na’Shan Clay

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Introduction

Chapter 2: Childhood

Chapter 3: Middle School (Part I)

Chapter 4: Middle School (Part II)

Chapter 5: Freshman Year

Chapter 6: Sophomore Year

Chapter 7: Back Home

Chapter 8: Junior Year

Chapter 9: Senior Year

Chapter 10: Filling Up Juggs

Chapter 11: Life After High School

Chapter 12: Back Home From College

Chapter 13: Truth About My Dad

Chapter 14: FreeForm Locs

Chapter 15: Meeting Jesus Christ

Chapter 16: Renewing of The Mind

Chapter 17: Shoes Ona Wire

Chapter 1: Introduction

I was born in Indianapolis, Indiana, in a neighborhood called 42nd and Post Road. My upbringing and environment were different than what most people experience. I believe stories are important, and I believe I can help others with the story God gave me. Sometimes life can be very hard, but there’s a reason for your story. Here’s mine.

My mom was a teenage mom. She gave birth to me, her oldest child, when she was fifteen years old, on July 23, 1995. I was six pounds and twelve ounces, and she named me Na’Shan Lavonne Leigh Clay, after several family members. Shan is part of my mom’s name, Lavonne is my big cousin’s middle name, Leigh is my god dad’s name, and Clay is my dad’s name. I was a small girl, with a big birthmark on the left side of my face, stretching down my neck. Many like to call me Nay or NayNay. Growing up, my mom called me Nae. I would say, It’s Nay, not Nae. She would respond, Girl, I’m the one who named you.

My mom hid me for six long months, underneath her baggy clothes. Think I set a record for hide-and-seek? At first, my grandma couldn’t find me, but when she did she whooped my mom until my uncle stepped in and stopped her.

I stayed on 42nd and Mitthoeffer when I was a baby. My house was across the street from Carriage East Apartments and The Vineyards. We called it The White House. It favored the actual White House. It was a seven-bedroom, tri-level house. It had three bedrooms upstairs and four bedrooms in the basement. My mom and my two aunts had the rooms upstairs. My two uncles had the basement. My grandma had the other room. I slept in the room with my mom, and my dad lived in the house behind us. My mom used to jump the fence to see him.

My grandma used to spoil me a lot. She would curse people out if she heard me crying. I had a birthday party at The White House when I was young. I started crying at my party, for no reason except I was used to getting my way. My grandma came out of the house cursing everybody out.

My cousins used to come around, too. They were my uncle’s kids. My grandma’s oldest son had four kids: two boys and two girls. I’m named after my uncle’s oldest son, Lavonne, who is five years older than me. But our names are spelled differently. They kept us together when we were kids.

In January 1996, I went through my first tragic moment. I was very young to experience that kind of emotional pain. Remember my uncle who stopped my grandma from whooping my mom? He was shot and killed in Amber Woods Apartments. He went to see a girl there when he was under the influence. A guy she was dating confronted my uncle and chased him to the front of Amber Woods. He shot my uncle multiple times and left him to die. My uncle laid there for many hours until the city bus driver saw my uncle’s body in the grass. They didn’t charge the man for my uncle’s death. He remained a free man until he was charged for another murder. I’m not sure if he’s still doing time in prison. My mom and my two aunts tried to fight the female. They thought she set my uncle up. I learned the story as I became older. My uncle’s name was Charles Anthony Johnson. He was my grandma’s oldest child. He used to babysit me when my mom went to school. I heard he used to come into my room as a baby and sing to me. It’s unfortunate that I don’t even remember his voice.

I moved to Brentwood, a well-kept neighborhood, with my grandma at a young age. I stayed in multiple condominiums over there, at Towne and Terrace Condominiums. Brentwood is off of 42nd and Post Road. I stayed in a two-bedroom flat with my grandma. Sometimes my cousins stayed with us. Remember my uncle who was killed in Amber Woods? His two kids, their mom, and big sister moved in with us, so I slept in the bed with my grandma, and my big cousin slept on the couch. I got my middle name from this cousin. He was barely at the house. My house was next to the Red Park. It was a playground on Brentwood. We also had the Blue Park in the back of Brentwood. I really didn’t hang at the Blue Park. I was at the Red Park with my friends. I used to stand on the swings and jump off. I played bumper cars with the neighborhood kids, and hide-and-seek on Brentwood. I hid in the bush by my grandma’s house. That was my main hiding spot. We also played curveball on Brentwood Court. I played hand games with my friends on the sidewalk, like Tweet Baby, and we put our feet in a circle to see who was it. The Red Park had a slide, swings, a merry-go-round, and monkey bars. We used to jump on the merry-go-round, and jump on the slide when we saw possums. They used to hang in Brentwood, too.

I used to have silver caps on my teeth. The older people used to hype my head up. They told me I had gold grills in my mouth. I went to The Caring Place as a kid, too. They picked up the neighborhood kids. We learned about Jesus there. We played games at the church. Caring Place took me Christmas shopping at the mall with points, too.

Brentwood was a fun place. I was unaware of the drug game there. I used to watch the older people post up in the street. They used to race each other to unfamiliar cars. Later, I discovered they were trying to sell their drugs. I saw the older people riding in old school cars with big rims. I once wrote curse words on someone’s Monte Carlo with a permanent marker. He caught me and told my family. I ran to the Red Park to get away. But, to my surprise, my family praised my bad behavior. They didn’t discipline me for writing on his car. They still praise me for it.

My mom and aunt used to fight a lot on Brentwood, by the old gate that used to be there. I remember watching them fight. I cried on the sidewalk because I didn’t want them to fight. There was a lot of gang activity on Post Road. I grew up around a neighborhood-based gang called 4duce. It was a mixture of Vice Lords and Gangster Disciples. Chicago’s Gangster Disciples used to hang on Brentwood. They burnt the letters off of a Gangster Disciple of 4duce. I didn’t hear about any retaliation. I believe the 4duce member broke his oath with the Gangster Disciples. An older 4duce member told me about the Chicago Gangster Disciples. She said they heard him screaming throughout Brentwood.

Sometimes Brentwood people and Sutton Place people didn’t get along. It passed down to my generation, too. It was all about territory. I remember a time when my mom pulled up on Brentwood. I saw a group of people jumping up and down. They were screaming 4duce in a chant. My mom pulled up and joined the crowd, but I didn’t get out of the car. The crowd said, 4duce, 4duce, 4duce. They raised me to rep my neighborhood until I died. They raised me to give my loyalty to 4duce. I spent half of my life on Post Road, so I was unaware of the world. I didn’t know the world was so big. They conditioned me to only think about Post Road. They raised me to protect my territory. You couldn’t come on Post Road if you weren’t from there. Many people tried to claim 4duce. Many don’t know it’s a gang. You can’t just claim a gang. It doesn’t work that way.

My childhood was amazing on Brentwood. My grandma’s brother used to have a candy store out of his van, with the candy in the back seat. He would ride down Brentwood like the ice cream truck. He used to squeeze my cheeks. I really didn’t like that. Many of my family members lived on Brentwood. My grandma stayed by the Red Park. My grandma’s mom stayed a few doors down from us. My grandma’s sister and her sister’s husband stayed in front of us. Her sister’s husband is my god dad. My middle name is his name. My cousins stayed by the Red Park. I used to go over to their house to watch wrestling. My grandma’s aunt and her husband lived next to The Creek. My favorite cousin and her family lived across the street. They didn’t live over there long. There were a few family friends who lived by us. My other cousins stayed in the back of Brentwood. There were a lot of members of 4duce on Brentwood.

We had a lot of fun on Brentwood. We popped the fire hydrant open once. A brother and sister went through the water on their bikes, suffering some minor wounds. They went to my aunt’s house for help. I know it was God showing his kindness to them. It’s similar to my situation when I was scared to walk past the dog. You’ll learn about that later. I believe it was the same situation for them. They passed a lot of doors to get to my aunt’s house.

One time, somebody scared me with a scary costume on Brentwood. I saw him coming my way. I started banging on my cousin’s door, but they didn’t open the door for me until he got really close. I used to have a habit of sucking my thumb, and someone put hot sauce on my thumb once. I went home crying. I wanted my mom to do something about it, but the situation died down.

I didn’t get along with the bumblebees on Brentwood. I started a war with them. I stepped on a bumblebee and picked it up. They have very big and long eyes. The bee stung me on my finger when I picked it up. I dropped it in the grass and went crying to my aunt’s house. My aunt took the stuff out of the cigarette to place on my finger. That got the stinger out of my finger. I was so traumatized and scared to walk home. I had to walk down a long sidewalk to my grandma’s apartment. Grass and bumblebees surrounded the sidewalk. I stood at the top of the sidewalk and stared at the bees. With one of my sandals, I stepped on another bumblebee. But the bee slipped from under my sandal and stung me.

My aunt’s husband used to give me a dollar almost every day. I remember knocking on his door for a dollar because the ice cream truck was coming. I always got the Bomb Pop Banana Fudge. Life was fun on Brentwood. I had my seventh birthday party by the Red Park, but I was upset during my party. I probably didn’t get my way.

We used to jump The Creek to get to Oaktree Apartments. The Creek is a narrow creek that goes through Post Road. Oaktree had its own swimming pool. The older people used to pass the pool pass through the gate, so we could use it to get in. Half of Post Road used to be in that pool. My basketball aunt threw me into the deep end of the pool once. I couldn’t swim in the deep end. I was kicking my feet and moving my arms, trying to stay above the water. My aunt laughed with her friends. Then she grabbed me and took me to the edge. I climbed out of the pool crying. That wasn’t funny to me.

Brentwood was pushing a lot of crack cocaine, but I was unaware of these things as a kid. I was so focused on being a kid. My mom was a Gangster Disciple, so was my uncle. He’s the one that died in Amber Woods. My uncle who found me in the tub is a Vice Lord. Most of my family members are Vice Lords, with a few Gangster Disciples. I was raised around drug dealers and gang members. The dudes weren’t the only ones selling drugs. The girls were selling drugs too. My mom didn’t sell crack cocaine. She only sold marijuana. I used to watch the older people cook the drugs in the kitchen. The older people used to drive Monte Carlo cars, Cutlasses, and Regals. These were old school cars on big rims. These cars let you know dope was being pushed. They were like a trophy. A trophy to show they were getting money.

I faced problems at my grandma’s house. My two girl cousins didn’t like me very much. They were very rude to me, but it wasn’t always bad for me. My grandma used to cook fried bologna. I used to watch her in the kitchen. She cut a hole in the middle of the bologna, so it wouldn’t bubble up. My grandma gave me space to be my true self. She didn’t force me into things I didn’t stand for, but it was different with my mom.

My mom was now living with us on Brentwood, and my cousins didn’t live with us anymore. My mom wanted me to become a fighter. The neighborhood kids were messing with my little brother, and I did nothing about it. I got in trouble with my mom because I didn’t stand up for my brother. We were standing by the door and I accidentally put a hot iron on my brother’s shoulder because I was so focused on the kids running away.

I had some of my best memories on Brentwood. There weren't many shootings or violence there. I remember the fire on Brentwood Court. An older person died in the fire with a kid. I was friends with one of the girls that lived there. They said the lady hugged the child in the fire. They told me they died that way. Brentwood wasn’t a bad place to me. The older people of 4duce used to fill Brentwood up, but it wasn’t violent on Brentwood.

Chapter 2: Childhood

My mom was already having a hard time with her children, and she had two more kids. Now there were four of us. I was still the only girl. My mom used to disappear on us with some guy for days. My basketball aunt was about to fight her for disappearing. We were even taken away to the guardian home.

My mom had marijuana in her system with my baby brother. We were at her best friend’s house when two people knocked on the door. They were wearing suits. They told my mom we had to leave with them. I remember that day. I started crying to my mom. She was crying with me. Then the people took us to a car. I was still young around this time. I got in their car with my three little brothers. My little sister wasn’t born yet. They drove us to the juvenile center. I remember sitting in a chair at the juvenile center. Then we got back into the car. They drove us to some kind of building. They separated my brothers from me. We had to go into certain rooms in the building. I walked into a room that had rooms inside of it. There was a TV to the left of me and a bathroom around the corner. Everything was located in the room. It was more of a jail for innocent children. I went into the bathroom to meet a random lady who was in charge of our unit. She handed me a toothbrush and a bar of soap. There were two bathtubs in the bathroom. I remember seeing a girl in the tub.

I couldn’t hang out because it was time for bed. I had a bunk bed in my room, which I had to myself. I slept on the bottom bunk bed. I had a window in front of me. I was deep in my thoughts when I heard a girl crying in another room because she wanted to go home. I felt her pain. I wanted to go home too.

We had to get up for breakfast the next morning. We formed a line in the hallway. I remember approaching this big cross on the wall, so big it could have smashed me. I remember the lady praying to the cross, but I didn’t bow my head during the prayer. I was checking out the cross on the wall. It was the cross Jesus Christ died on for our sins.

I tried to see my little brothers, but the lady over my brothers was rude to me. She thought I was a random girl speaking to my brothers. Another lady told her I was their big sister, and then the lady allowed me to speak to my brothers. I really wasn’t in the mood anymore. I saw my brothers and went back to my unit.

We didn’t stay in the guardian home for long, just for a few days. My grandma fought for us in the system. We were kids of the system. The system checked my grandma’s house to make sure it was a great fit. My dad’s mom was a part of the check too, but I didn’t want to go with my dad’s mom. I didn’t know my dad’s side of the family well.

The lady guided me towards the door. I saw my grandma and my basketball aunt waiting for us. My basketball aunt got on her knee and opened her arms. I ran into my aunt’s arms to hug her. We went back to my grandma’s house in Three Fountains Apartments, across the street from Brentwood. My mom was upstairs in the room, so me and my brothers ran upstairs to greet her. We were so excited to see her. She seemed amazed by our reactions.

Two of my brothers stayed with my family. My third brother left with his dad’s mom. He was only a baby. My mom allowed him to go with his dad’s mom. My mom was having a hard time with life. Then my mom got her kids back. I moved back with my mom in Carriage House East Apartments. I didn’t always get along with my two little brothers. I was so used to being the only child with my grandma. I didn’t know how to connect with my brothers. We fought each other in my mom’s dining room. I fought both of them at the same time. So they jumped me. I didn’t care about them jumping me. I just kept fighting them.

A lot of memories took place in Carriage House East Apartments. My aunt had a birthday cake on top of the microwave at my grandma’s house. So, I shook my aunt’s cake. I thought it was a fun idea. After shaking it, I put it back on the microwave and left. They never knew who did it. I didn’t do it because I was jealous. Something in my head told me to do it. I was only being a bad kid. I thought smashing a cake would be fun.

My grandma used to drink beer and liquor around me. My family is big on drinking. They used to fight each other. They don’t get along well. They compete with each other. I believe the love isn’t genuine in my family. My family members speak down to each other and divide themselves into groups. They gossip a lot. I don’t come from a stable family. I come from a very dysfunctional family. I come from a very broken family.

…………

There’s an elementary school in The White House’s neighborhood. The name of the elementary is Francis Scott Key School 103. I attended kindergarten, second grade, and fourth grade at 103. I also attended School 98 and 93. I cried for my grandma the first time attending School 98. I cried because it was my first day in first grade. I didn’t want her to leave me.

A girl bullied me in first grade. We were in the same classroom together. The students had to form a line to leave. She was standing behind me, but I didn’t bully the girl back. I was a quiet little girl. I wasn’t a fighter growing up. I didn’t bully others when I was a kid. I didn’t stand up for myself when she pushed me. I didn’t tell the teacher. I remained quiet.

There was a tornado drill at School 98. We had to go in the hallway. The teachers sat on the floor with us. Many parents came to pick up their kids. This was a real tornado drill. A teacher tried to get under my raincoat. They were trying to keep us calm. I didn’t share my raincoat and ignored her.

I remember little at School 93. I used to stay on Brentwood during School 93, and wasn’t a student there for long. My grandma took me out of that school. I don’t remember much about third grade. School 103 was a lot different. Many of my childhood friends attended School 103. My kindergarten class was so amazing. My teacher had Mickey Mouse all over the room. She used to give us cookies too. I was in second grade when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. I used to donate my money to New Orleans. I used to get money from my dad’s brother. We’ll get to him later.

Fourth grade was a lesson for me. I was very disobedient to my fourth grade teacher. She told me she was going to flunk me. She told me that multiple times. I used to reply and say, So? That doesn’t scare me. My mom tried to sneak in my classroom one day. I saw her sneaking in. She thought she was slick. She was there because I was a disobedient student. So I switched my behavior. I faked like I was a wonderful student. I was doing my classwork and everything. She was not catching me.

I had class with a few of my childhood friends. One friend was barely at school. He had a disease called sickle cell and stayed at the hospital a lot. We used to like each other. My other friend had class with me too. We wrestled with each other in his front yard. We used to like each other too, but my favorite cousin started dating him. We used to walk in groups to School 103. There were so many of us. My childhood friend, the same one I wrestled with, put us on raw noodles. He came outside one morning with the noodles in a plastic bag. He broke the noodles down. Then he put the noodle sauce on top of the raw noodles and ate them. We were caught off guard. Like, this dude is really eating raw noodles? He shared his noodles with us. They were pretty good.

We had some fire food at School 103. We used to play kickball in the back of the school. We used to have recess, too. I was on my school’s basketball team. I used to practice with the older girls, but I didn’t play in an actual game. I used to quit before a game because I was scared to play. I’m a shy person. My favorite cousin used to play basketball, too. She’s a year older than me. I used to stay with my favorite cousin and her siblings. I spent my Saturdays at the East Side rink with her. Her mom snuck us in the rink. Girls used to dance on the walls with boys. The younger generation of 4duce used to get into fights at the rink. I didn’t get in any fights there, though. I used to do The Worm on the dance floor. It was really a big party at the rink on Saturdays. We didn’t skate on that day.

My big cousins used to attend School 103 with us. There were seven of them all together. My big cousin dated my favorite cousin’s mom. The mom gave birth to four children. Three of the children lived in the house. My big cousin had four kids living in the house too. There was a lot of competition with my favorite cousin. I had a crush on another guy in elementary school, and she went after him and got into a relationship with him. He stopped liking me and treated me as if I was weird. So we were always competing. Once, we both got the same outfit from the store. They were hanging up in her closet. It felt like we were competing on who would wear it first, but I gave in. I didn’t have a lot of material things like her.

My boy cousins used to rap in their room. One of them is a local rapper in Indianapolis. He started gang banging at a young age. My other boy cousins were gang banging too. We were all a part of 4duce. We all came from similar environments. It was a competition between my big cousin’s four kids and the girlfriend’s kids. My favorite cousin didn't get along with one of the big sisters that belonged to my big cousin. My favorite cousins didn't want to take pictures with her. I fought my favorite cousin. I punched her in the jaw. So she tackled me and slapped me in my face.

She used to get many material things: clothes, shoes, hair. I didn’t grow up on many material things. I used to wear her shoes to school. She used to get a lot of Jordans. My grandma bought me Filas or K-Swiss shoes. I appreciated my shoes. I wasn’t big on materialistic things. I didn’t receive a lot of new clothes like my favorite cousin. I’m thankful I grew up that way. It makes you focus more on the inner part of yourself. I believe life is bigger than clothes and shoes. One day, the mom came in with hats for my cousins, but I thought a hat was for me. The mom came by the door with the hats, so I started picking my hat color out, but the mom said nothing to me. She didn’t give me a hat. That’s when I noticed the hats weren’t for me. They were only for my cousins.

This dude and his brother moved next door to us. He was a local rapper in Indianapolis. He used to hoop with my little cousin. He claimed a group called BadNewz, and was recently killed in Indianapolis. My big cousin’s four kids used to fight a lot in the neighborhood. My rapper cousin had his own lane. He didn’t hang with the same crowd as my other big cousins. My other big cousins fought these dudes called the Gary Boys. I remember the day it happened. They were all fighting each other. I was crying with my favorite cousin. My rapper cousin got on us. He said, Why y’all crying for?

They also fought people in Amber Woods. My big cousin had to run from the police. He ran in a circle, but the police didn’t catch him. I walked in the house and he was on the floor breathing hard. Then they fought a random group of boys. I threw up 4duce in their faces, but I was standing by myself the whole time. My cousins and the neighborhood kids were walking away. We used to be deep in the neighborhood. My cousin had to yell my name. So I ran back with my cousins and the neighborhood kids.

My big cousin and the neighborhood kids influenced me to chase a girl home. We were leaving School 103 that day. I chased her to the back of the houses. We were chasing her home. They were all running behind me. I watched her run for her life, but I didn’t want to catch her. I didn’t want to fight her. So I let her get away on purpose. She did nothing to me. I was only pleasing the crowd behind me. I was trying to fit in. I didn’t want to hurt her. I wasn’t that kind of person. That’s why I didn’t catch her.

My old childhood friends tried to convince me to fight another girl too. He was the guy who brought the raw noodles outside. I saw the girl walking home from school. I didn’t want to fight her. I made something up to avoid the fight. The girl became my friend when we were older.

My mom used to wait for me at the end of the school year. She waited on my grandma’s porch. I walked up to the house and saw her sitting there. She didn’t show emotion. She told me I passed my grade at school. Then she showed me emotion after sharing the news. We celebrated on the porch together. You remember my fourth grade teacher? She didn’t pass me for the next grade. I flunked the fourth grade because of bad behavior. My mom sat on my grandma’s porch that day. She seemed very upset. She told me I flunked the fourth grade. I was very disappointed in myself, but I chose to be bad.

I saw two white dogs on the porch when I was walking to school. I tried passing the dogs, but I thought they were going to chase me. So I went back to my grandma’s house. My mom walked me all the way to school. My grandma’s house was around the corner from my cousin’s house. I chose to live at my cousin’s house. I had my own room at my grandma’s house. I had a bed, TV, dresser, and game system. My grandma spoiled me. My mom and my other siblings didn’t stay with us as much. It was mainly me and my grandma. My uncle caught me in the tub with my clothes on at my grandma’s house. He even told on me. Why? I was probably on vacation in Hawaii.

My grandma barely disciplined me. She whooped me one time because of the teacher. I told the teacher I wasn’t coming to school. I had to get my hair done. So I shared that information with the teacher. The teacher called my grandma on me. So my grandma waited at my basketball aunt’s house with the belt. But she didn’t whoop me when I got suspended from school. I went back to school the next day. The school caught me and told my grandma. I told the school I didn’t have a place to go.

My grandma and my mom used to fight a lot. They fought over my baby sister. My mom gave birth to five kids. I have three brothers and one sister. I watched my grandma and mom pull my baby sister back and forth. My grandma was trying to take my baby sister away from my mom. My mom and my grandma used to fight over me, too. My mom took me away from my grandma. I was downstairs at The White House with my grandma. We were crying in the bathroom together. I didn’t want to go with my mom, but my mom allowed me to go back with my grandma. My mom and grandma didn’t have a great relationship.

My grandma moved out of the house by my cousin’s house. I no longer had a bed in my room. She allowed my mom to live there. My dad’s brother used to come over to give me money. He was into the streets, but he didn’t show the street side to me. He hid it pretty well when I was a kid. He used to pull up in his Box Chevy. I used to go outside to greet him. I was happy to see my dad’s brother. He used to park in front of the house, but he stopped showing up one day.

I was a loner as a kid. I didn’t fit in with any group. I didn’t have my own set of friends. I was the outcast. I used to talk about God a lot. I will share those memories. I told my favorite cousin about God when we were kids. We were playing around outside. She tried to fake his voice, but I stopped her. I told her God had his own voice. I don’t know how I knew that.

I remember when I walked home from elementary school. I walked to my cousin’s house. They were living in The White House. My grandma allowed them to move in. They were not at home that day. So I walked to my basketball aunt’s house. My aunt lived in Sutton Place. I saw a dog sitting in a yard. So I was afraid to walk past it. I knocked on a random door. Two older people lived in this house. He tried to take me in his van. I was afraid to get in his van. So he walked me past the dog to the end of the corner. I believe God had his hand in that event. I believe God directed me to that random house. I believe God knew they were very kind people. God was taking care of me. I believe me and God had a powerful connection when I was a kid. I don’t remember anyone teaching me about God. I went to church as a kid, but it was more singing than teaching. My church was very small. I grew up in a Baptist church with my family. I used to watch people run around the church and scream, but I didn’t show emotion in church. I wasn’t the type to get up and sing. I was more connected with the music, but we stopped going to church as I got older. My family is more into sage, tarot cards, and speaking to spirits. I went to a tarot card reading with my mom. The lady told me she saw people I knew. Then we talked