Procreation

By Deanna Salser

When Mary buys a pregnancy test in a future timeline where unlawful reproduction is a crime, she steps into a world she never dreamt existed, where things happen that make her question the fabric of reality, drawing herself and her family into an interstellar conspiracy involving the very survival of mankind.

In our world, we have yet to realize the dangers of overpopulation. Historically, only one country has ever created laws to limit the number of children families are allowed to have. What would happen if everyone on Earth had to submit to an authority that did? Mary Curtis and her family are caught up in the gears of this machinery after her father, who works for this ‘company’, discovers evidence of shady goings-on within its walls. An attempt is made on his life, which sends him into hiding as he works to discover what lies behind the story given to the public. Things get even stranger when Mary’s mother and brother are kidnapped and taken to an odd building, which seems impossible to escape. As they delve deeper into the mystery of the building, two impossible allies join their quest, with surprising results.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jan 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781528968645

Deanna Salser

Deanna Salser is a mother of three, working as a drafting technician. She loves to read, draw, sculpt and carve, but writing has become her newest passion. She doesn’t have a lot of time for it; her recently finished book took six years to complete during breaks and on weekends. More recently, she is entering contests, hoping to gain some recognition or at least build a resume of sorts in order to publish her book and keep on writing for a living.

Book preview

Information

Stages:

Stage 1: Getting into position and completing intel

Stage 2: Completing the hit

Stage 3: Cleaning the site

Stage 4: Eliminating the evidence

Codes:

Nova 3: Began

Nova 7: In Progress

Nova 9: Non-Communicado

Nova 11: Complete

Status:

Alpha: everything going according to plan

Beta: plan B activated

Omega: plans aborted, winging it

Zenith: situation turned dangerous, escaping or in hiding

Characters

Foreword

Cindy Eason

Deanna Salser’s Procreation will have you cheering, laughing, holding your breath, hanging on the edge, and begging for more. It taps directly into social issues and personal struggles that you are likely either facing today or are aware of happening around you. The hard science behind so many of Salser’s theories and storylines are hard to ignore and will drive you deeper and deeper into the world of what if.

It has been one of my greatest adventures and pleasures in life to have had the honour of editing Deanna Salser’s Procreation. Procreation embarks on a whirlwind of a ride that blends the world of science fiction and reality so expertly that you are likely to question the world you take for granted.

At a time when procreation without government sanction is a crime, we find ourselves swept up with Mary and her secret and illegal pregnancy. Her journey to connect with her boyfriend James begins as self-preservation for both her and her unborn baby, but quickly evolves into a much deeper tangle of alien, human, and hybrid destinies. As she and her adopted grandmother Hannah join forces, she is forced to re-evaluate what she has always known to be true while also realizing that the force, depth, and strength of both herself and Hannah are integral to not only their survival, but the survival of all that is good.

Meanwhile, her mother and autistic brother also find themselves on the wrong end of the sadistic, self-serving force that is actively perpetrating an overthrow of the current establishment, which was put in place to integrate a peaceful, productive, and coherent Earth. Their terrifying yet heartfelt journey is one that will capture your heart and stir your imagination.

Mary’s father Kevin has barely escaped death by a brutal beating and is tasked with unravelling the mystery of who and why, while trying to connect with his family, determine who are his allies and keep the world from literally unravelling around him.

Crystal, the unflappable head of her team in the current regime, has found success in following the rules at all costs in pursuit of a more enlightened earth. She will soon need to make the biggest decision of her life while grappling with her unexpected confusion as she begins to understand that simple human emotions that have so long been dismissed as unnecessary may hold as much importance as the strict order that hybrids hold so dear.

Expertly woven into these intricately intertwining threads are characters, subplots, and stories that will have your mind racing in anticipation.

I have known Deanna Salser for over 25 years and have always been intrigued not only by her incredible imagination and creative talents, but by her thorough knowledge of scientific facts and theories. In Procreation, she effortlessly conveys her knowledge of science in a story that is easy to follow, perfectly complex, and impossible to put down.

1 – Mary Finds Out

Mary Curtis stared in horror at the bright pink plus in the window of the thin piece of plastic she held in her hand. All she could think was that her hopes and dreams now lay in ruins along with the wrapper she had just thrown into the trash. As that thought tiptoed across her brain, she glared menacingly at the trashcan as if trying to transfer the blame for her predicament. For a moment she couldn’t breathe as she thought about what this would mean to her entire family, but even more, to her and James. She finally sucked in a lungful of air at the thought of James. What would he say? Should she even tell him? Should she tell anyone? She thought that until she decided what to do, she should make sure no one found out prematurely. She stooped to remove the wrapper from the trashcan and as she leaned over, her long curly auburn hair fell into her face, and she impatiently tucked one side behind her ear as she retrieved the small bit of evidence from the trash can in order to dispose of it more completely. Her thoughts still in turmoil as she stood up and unable to think clearly, she kicked the trash can savagely, causing it to slam against the wall of the bathroom and bounce back at her, striking her foot and rolling away slowly, spilling trash as it went. She turned wearily away from the spilled pieces of the almost uneventful life she had had only moments before. As she turned, her reflection in the mirror caught her attention. Staring at herself for a long moment, she saw only herself, the same self she looked at every day in this mirror and the same green eyes. Even though her hair and face had changed as she had grown, her eyes never did. They should look haunted now but she couldn’t believe she still looked the same when everything else seemed to have changed in nightmarish proportion.

Ever since she was small, Mary had a definite plan for her life. She felt like she had always known what she wanted it to be like. Watching her parents as they seemed to drift, aimlessly, from one situation to the next, she knew she didn’t want her life to be like that. Her mom didn’t seem to do anything except take care of her and her brother, Robert, and the housework. When her chores were done, and often before, she would sit in the one comfortable chair they owned, in front of the TV they didn’t, and stare mindlessly at the screen, regardless of what was on it. She hardly ever went out, except to get groceries and that wasn’t very often—Mary had that job since she was 13. Mostly she just moped around, doing what she had to, with her greasy black hair hanging in her face, hiding the same dull expression on it. Dad wasn’t much better. At least Dad had a good reason for it, with him being in two wars and seeing things no one should ever have to see. Still, he went to work and came home, ate dinner and lay on the tattered couch, reading, nearly every night, until bedtime. It was like life had beaten them, and badly, until they no longer wanted to fight back. Mary thought she would die of boredom long before she got old enough to have her own life. That is until last week, when she became aware that she was late.

She hadn’t meant to let James go all the way. At least not yet, but so far, the only exciting thing that had happened to her was James and the way he made her feel. So, caught up in the moment, with all the sensations he was causing with his kisses and his oh-so-tender touch, singing in her blood as it flew through her veins, she knew she wanted something. What, she wasn’t quite sure. She had never felt this way before. She wanted to feel it more and so she let him continue what he was doing to her. When he guided himself into her, the first sting was minimal and the intensity of the feelings multiplied almost immediately so that she was completely overwhelmed by them and couldn’t have stopped him then. It felt so wonderful she didn’t want it to stop at all. So, just as she thought she was about to feel, something more…James suddenly stiffened, groaned and then collapsed, and she felt deprived. Of what, she didn’t know. Well, she did know but she had never experienced it before and yet, in this moment she knew that what had just happened couldn’t be the end of it, at least not for her. So she let him do it again, and again, until finally, she was able to reach the place she knew she had been striving for. Finally, she felt it and oh god, nothing had ever felt so incredible! She was finally able to experience what she had only heard described, and badly, before: orgasm. She whispered the word, even in her mind. It was nothing like the stories she had read or the gossip she had heard. It was like her whole being was centred on that one spot where she was connected to James and then the spot grew, consuming her entire self with wave after wave of exploding pleasure, dissolving her whole body into his until she wasn’t sure where she ended and he began. So distracted had she been by such wonderful sensations, it had never even entered her head that she might get pregnant. That wasn’t supposed to happen to her, she had a plan!

Her reflection blurred and she angrily blinked back tears she refused to shed. Leaving the bathroom carefully, making sure no one saw her, she headed silently in her stocking feet out to the family room to burn the hateful evidence of her mistake in the fireplace. She had just turned to detour to the kitchen for a torch when a loud knocking from the direction of the front door caused her to start. Her socks slid on the hardwood flooring and she almost went down. In the struggle to remain on her feet, she inadvertently bumped a small round table on which rested a vase of fresh flowers in water, causing it to slide off the table, dumping the vase to the floor with a thud. Not breaking the vase, but spilling cold water up in a splash that soaked the front of her t-shirt and causing her to emit a small shriek. The knocking sounded again, more insistently. Something along Mary’s spine seemed to be urging her to escape in the opposite direction of that knocking, but propriety was too deeply ingrained in her to ignore it. A little unsteady, heart beating wildly in her throat and hurriedly stuffing the handful of trash into her back pocket, she went to open the door.

As she walked the last few steps toward the front door, to calm herself, Mary thought again about James. About how his light brown hair curled around his face, making him appear slightly angelic. About how his eyes, so deep and full of secrets as they seemed to look right into her, made her feel like she was the only one in the world who mattered. She thought about his hands, and how his mouth and his sensitive fingertips felt as they touched her—everywhere. She shivered a little, and shaking her head to dispel the tingling the thoughts had started inside her, she opened the door.

Mary was so preoccupied with her thoughts that at first she wasn’t sure what to say to the complete stranger standing there on the Curtis’ front porch. Mary and the rather smartly dressed woman in a business suit hesitated a moment and then both began talking at once.

‘Hello, may I—’ Mary began to say.

‘My name is—’ came from the stranger at the door.

Both women relaxed, half smiled, and inadvertently spoke again together.

‘You first.’

After laughing a little nervously together, Mary gestured to the woman, still smiling.

‘No, you go.’

To which the strange woman replied, holding up an ID tag suspended from her lapel.

‘My name is Rita Wilcox and I’m from the N.S.I.C. I’m looking for a Mary Curtis, by any chance would that be you?’

A multitude of thoughts blazed through Mary’s mind as she struggled to choose something appropriate to say. It was incredibly agonizing to keep her face in the same polite expression. She wanted to slam the door and hide, she wanted to lie and say no. She desperately needed some time to think, and had not any time to do it in.

‘The N.S.I.C.?’ Mary asked slowly, emphasizing each letter separately, to buy herself some time.

‘Yes, the National Society of the Identification of Citizens,’ the woman explained, sounding like she was asking a question.

Mary was so scared, all her spit had dried up in her mouth and she had to swallow twice before answering, ‘Oh, yeah,’ and then, ‘I’m Mary Curtis,’ pointedly, not asking if she would like to come in.

‘Had an accident, did you?’ the woman—Rita—asked. ‘Is everything alright?’

‘Oh, yeah, I was just um, doing some cleaning,’ Mary fumbled for the lie quickly, though she could feel a blush heating her neck on its way to her face. Rita gave her a sceptical sideways look before speaking again.

‘Okay. Well, I have a few questions for you, if you have a moment?’ Rita Wilcox asked, inclining her head slightly toward the house as an unspoken request. Mary nodded toward the dusty lawn furniture scattered on the porch.

‘I have a few minutes,’ she said.

As Mary and Rita moved toward the two chairs, Mary’s mind was on the hastily stuffed back pocket of her jeans and what it would mean if Rita were to find out what she had, just moments ago, found out herself. Turning to put her back to the house, Mary took the chair facing the street, leaving the one facing the other chair and the house, to Rita. After sitting down gingerly and settling herself, Rita looked at Mary, and reaching into her bag, took out a tablet and hit the power button.

‘The reason I’m here is to investigate a purchase you made with your card recently,’ she said, looking into her tablet. She scrolled quickly through its contents for a minute, then looked up again, pointing at an item in her tablet.

‘Here it is. You purchased a Clearblue Easy Home Pregnancy Test at the Rite Aid, on Joe Howard St. at 11:03 am on January 5th,’ she said, looking directly into Mary’s eyes. ‘Since 2020, when the Procreation Law went into effect, every purchase of this kind is routinely investigated to determine its outcome, regardless of whether or not there was a permit purchased beforehand. And as you know, in this case, there wasn’t.’

Mary’s thoughts were racing, searching for something plausible to say. She had to placate this woman or she was going to be arrested and put into one of those minimum-security places where they kept pregnant women who didn’t have a license to have a baby. If she was confined, she would have no choices left. She would be forced to do whatever the N.S.I.C. had in mind for her and while she didn’t know exactly what that would be, she knew it wouldn’t be something she would choose.

In the few seconds it took for those thoughts to bounce across her brain, Mary carefully kept her face calm and looked Rita right back into her eyes, nodding. Then she leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs with what she hoped was nonchalance and brushed her hair back from her face. Then, still looking right into Rita’s eyes, she lied again.

‘Oh, yeah, I bought that for my mom. I forgot her card when I went to the store, and she was really freaking out about being late.’ Here she rolled her eyes and tried to look exasperated. ‘So I just went ahead and used mine. I hope it’s not going to cause too much of a problem to straighten out.’

Rita kept looking at her for a few seconds and Mary, smiling woodenly, held the eye contact until finally Rita looked back down at her tablet. Whew! That was close!

‘Well, she will pay a fine for not getting a permit first, unless she can prove that she was on birth control,’ Rita said. ‘Is your mom home?’ she asked.

‘No, she wasn’t here when I got up,’ Mary answered. ‘I’m not sure where she is,’ she added with a grimace.

Rita took all of this in with no comment or change of expression. Then she gathered her things and stood up.

‘Thank you for your time, Miss Curtis,’ Rita said, holding out her hand.

Mary stood as well and taking Rita’s outstretched hand, she shook it briefly.

‘No problem,’ she murmured and followed her as she turned and walked down the steps of the front porch. Turning back as she reached her car, Rita pulled her hand out of her bag and held out a card to Mary.

‘Make sure your mom gets this and calls me by January 10th.’

Mary took the card, mumbling her assent, and turned to walk back up the steps. She turned back at the top, wanting to watch and make sure Rita drove away. As she was getting into her car, Rita stopped halfway in.

‘If your mom doesn’t call by the 10th, I will be back.’ Looking at Mary, half in and half out of her car, she waited. Mary wasn’t sure what to say so she waved the card in the air. ‘I’ll tell her first thing when she gets back.’ With a doubtful look on her face, Rita sat in her driver’s seat and closed the door. Mary waited there at the top of the steps, trying to appear casual, until Rita had started up her car and driven off. As soon as the car turned left at the stop sign and drove out of sight, she ran back inside and closing the door behind her, she locked it firmly. Leaning back against it, she sighed loudly, angling her exhalation to blow the hair out from in front of her eyes. She stood there a moment letting the silence fill her ears, listening for the slightest noise that would tell her if there was anyone else home. Satisfied that she was alone, she went first into the kitchen and took the torch from the shelf where her mom kept it and holding it behind her back just in case, she headed back to the family room.

As Mary walked toward the fireplace to burn her evidence, the memory of another time filled her senses. It was as if she were a ghost there, watching her younger self sneaking into this room.

***

It was winter, the fireplace was lit and the room was dark except for the flickering light of the dancing flames and the glow of a few tiny coloured lights. She was in her nightgown and slippers, and she carried a worn teddy bear in her arms. It was her only stuffed toy and she treasured him. Kneeling down, she carefully set him down under the small Christmas tree next to the hearth and adjusted the ribbon she had tied around his neck moments ago. Connected to the ribbon was a small tag that said: To Robbie. It was all she had to give her brother and she knew he coveted the bear. Mary dearly loved her brother and he was so desperately sick that year. She stood and looked at her offering under the tree for a long moment and then turning, she tiptoed barefooted back to her own room. Mary watched her younger self go and as she did, the memory faded until she was back solidly into now.

***

Kneeling on the cold bricks, Mary reached into her pocket for the things she had stuffed in there earlier and came out with a handful of thin crumpled plastic paper. She looked at it for a minute before transferring it to the other hand and reaching back to her pocket, she delved into it again. Nothing! It must have fallen out! She looked in her other pockets hurriedly, getting more and more anxious as her search remained unsuccessful. Stopping suddenly, she stared down at the paper in her hand and thought. Any time from when she stuffed it into her pocket, until now, it could have fallen out. That meant it could be on the porch! Holding the plastic paper tightly in one fist, she ran back to the front door, scanning the floor along the way as she went. Unlocking the door, she threw it open and stepped out. Looking warily out to the street, she almost expected to see Rita’s car there. Relief made her dizzy when the street proved to be empty. Turning, she scanned the porch and the chair she had been sitting in. Not seeing anything, she hurried closer and looked around and behind the chair, and still, nothing! More anxious by the second, she moved the chair and looked underneath. No plastic stick! Now seriously alarmed, she moved all of the furniture on the porch and still found nothing. Leaving the furniture in disarray, she turned and went to check the stairs and sidewalk. She walked slowly down the stairs, peering carefully at each step, and then thoroughly checked the paved walk in front of them. No stick! Mary could feel the tears pricking uncomfortably behind her eyes as panic began to threaten. If Rita had found that positive test and taken it with her, she would be found out! With a tremendous effort, she took a trembling breath and got a semblance of control over herself. She still hadn’t checked the hallway. Clenching her hands tightly into fists in order to keep her panic under control, Mary went back up the stairs and into the house. Closing the door softly behind her, Mary locked it again and started walking back down the hall toward the bathroom. There, by the fallen table and vase, floating in the puddle of spilled water was the stick. She must have dragged it back out when she was trying to hurriedly stuff it in on her way to the door. With relief, she picked it up and shook it off. Then she put the stick and the wrapper into her front pocket. Then, righting the table, she picked up the vase and placed it back on the table then turned and headed back to the family room. First things first. She would burn the evidence and then clean up the mess and while she did those things, she would try to think of what she was going to do about the baby. As far as she could figure, she had few choices. She could tell James and then she wouldn’t be dealing with this all alone. Or she could just go, telling no one except the one person she knew she could always trust: her Grandma Shelley’s best friend, Hannah. Ever since her grandmother had died three years ago, Hannah had kind of taken over for her grandma. She had been there for her when she had no one else to turn to and they had gotten really close. She really had no friends her own age except for James, so when she had to talk to someone and she knew her mother wouldn’t understand, she went to Hannah. Besides the fact that she knew anything she told Hannah would go no further, Mary felt vindicated around Hannah, like they were sisters or something. Mary didn’t know squat about having a sister because she had only her brother to compare to, but with Hannah, she could imagine what it would be like to have someone close like that, another woman that she could share her whole self with. She knew she could tell Hannah all her hopes and dreams, and knew she would never make light of her feelings, no matter what.

Whatever she decided, she had to avoid the authorities until after the baby was born. Mary felt her eyes welling as she realized she had already decided to keep her baby. She slowly ran a protective hand over her still flat abdomen.

‘Hi baby,’ she softly greeted the tiny life inside her stomach. The N.S.I.C. would never condone her carrying the baby to term unless she gave it up for adoption. No one was allowed to have children without the proper resources to support them and even then they had to request permission first and were limited to two. There was no way they would let her, at 17, not married and with no career or money, keep her baby and raise it herself. She would be carefully monitored in lock-up until she gave birth and she would never even see the baby after that. They would take it as soon as it was born and she would never know what had happened to it, and worse than that, it would be chipped and added to the other monitored robots most of the people of the Earth had become. She couldn’t allow that. She knew what the N.S.I.C. was doing was wrong; people were not just statistics, they were people. But they themselves were forgetting that fact. Caught up in the survival of their daily lives, they had become like cattle and moved to the rhythm of the drum of fear. Fear because when you stepped out of the herd, and brought notice to yourself in some way, any way, you disappeared, became a victim of political power under the guise of the long arm of the law, never to be seen or heard from again. The world was so afraid of being over-populated now that it meted out punishment for unlawful procreation in the form of death and called it justice for the good of all.

2 – Mary Spills to Hannah

Mary looked left and right, then left again before pulling the family’s second car, a small blue Honda they affectionately called the Blue Dog—on account of the fact that while it didn’t run well, it never actually died, and it was blue—out into traffic. She had tried to wait for her mom to come home but she waited for what felt like hours and she never showed up. Mary couldn’t sit still long enough to wait anymore. If she didn’t do something soon, she felt like she would go nuts. It was strange that her mom was gone so long without leaving a note, and she must have Robbie with her because he had never come home either. Robbie was usually home right after school. He had only one friend, their neighbour’s daughter, Lisa, but he wasn’t over there, either. She had tried her mom’s cell phone but it just rang until it went to voice mail.

Mary had not wanted to wait for her father to come home either, as he didn’t usually come home until dinnertime. Plus, she didn’t want to tell him where she was going and she didn’t like to lie to her dad. She had left him a casserole on the counter and a note with instructions on how to heat it up, on the table where he usually dumped his things when he came in the door. Mom usually made the dinner, but the casserole was already in the fridge and Mary assumed her mother had left it for them on purpose, knowing she would be out. She frowned as she thought of the note she had left for her dad.

‘Dear Dad,’ she had written, ‘I’m going out and Mom isn’t here, so I’m leaving you this casserole for your dinner. Put it in the oven for about a half hour at 350 degrees. Don’t wait up for me, I’m going to be out late. I have the Blue Dog and I’ll put gas in it before I bring it back.’ And down at the bottom, was her ‘Love Mary.’ It didn’t really tell him anything and she hoped he wouldn’t worry too much when she didn’t come home right away. She hated leaving him like this. Mom just wasn’t much help to him anymore.

Settling herself in her seat, she prepared for a long drive. Hannah lived in Auburn and it was at least four hours from Mariposa where Mary lived with her family. Mary had only made the drive once by herself but she was fairly sure she remembered the way. Turning on the radio, Mary tuned it to a station playing classic rock. She needed something to distract her from her thoughts and Dad had left it on classical. Until she was able to share her predicament with Hannah, she didn’t want to think about it anymore. Mary turned the radio up and as she drove, she sang along to Hot Blooded, the song that was currently playing. But the music made her think of James, so with a sudden change of mood, she turned the radio off and sighed into the ensuing silence.

Two hours later, Mary decided to stop for gas. She really didn’t need it because she had stopped before hitting the freeway, but she needed to stretch her legs and use the restroom, and for some reason it was in her head that keeping a full tank wouldn’t be a bad idea. So she pulled off the road near Manteca and stopped at the first cheap gas station she saw which happened to be a State-wide Petroleum station. Pulling into the lane next to an available gas pump, she turned the car off and grabbed the key out of the ignition. Pulling up the emergency brake, Mary got out, shutting the door with a bang.

Walking around for a second to stretch her legs, she slowly made her way around to the other side of the car to get the gas started pumping. On second thought, she thought it would be better if she didn’t use her card and turned to go and pay inside with cash. On her way up to the door, she wondered why she was thinking like a fugitive when nothing had really happened except that little visit from the N.S.I.C. She was thinking about how Rita’s face had looked just before she got into her car and drove away, and how that had made her feel like running, and decided her instincts could be right. So she continued into the store and got into the line to pay for gas, looking around for the restroom as she stood there waiting. The line moved quickly and she didn’t see any signs for the restroom so she asked the attendant where it was when her turn came.

‘Broken,’ he replied and pointed behind himself with his thumb, where she could see out the window, a row of four dirty green porta potties at the edge of the parking lot. Taking her change, she thanked him and walked out, heading for the outhouses the attendant had indicated. After using one of them, she walked back to the Blue Dog utilizing an anti-bacterial hand wipe provided at the washing station just outside of them. She pumped her gas then returned to the store to get some more water and some sunflower seeds. Then she got back into the driver’s seat of the Blue Dog and pulled out her phone and dialled home. After listening to it ring 15 times, she hung up and tried her dad but got the same results, so she hung up again and started the car. She would try again when she got there. Surely someone would be home by then. Mary couldn’t shake the feeling that something was not quite right about her empty house, but she put her seatbelt on, released the brake, and pulled back onto the road heading for Auburn again.

As Mary hummed along in the slow lane at 65 mph—she didn’t want to be pulled over—she ate her sunflower seeds, spitting the shells out the window, not caring if they didn’t quite make it out, and thinking about the ringing phone. Mom never went anywhere for any length of time because of Robbie. He needed her; she was the only one who knew how to take care of him like he liked. And Dad was always home by dinnertime. He always kept the same schedule during the week because of his job unless he was working out of town. The more she thought about it, the more it seemed sinister to her. Where was everyone? This wasn’t how things were normally at her house and before long she realized she was freaking out here. Needing a change in her thought patterns, she turned the radio back on and started singing along to Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison. After that song was over, she felt better and then when 11:00 am by Incubus came on, she was able to forget completely, losing herself in the complicated magic of the music. She decided to try not to worry about things she couldn’t change and instead put her CD of Science by Incubus into the CD player and tried to drink in the scenery that was slowly fading into the darkness of the night that was descending upon her. She tried to enjoy the feel of the wind coming in the window and blowing her hair all around her face, and tried to immerse herself in the sounds coming out of the car’s stereo. The next two hours passed quickly and pleasantly, and before she knew it she was pulling up in front of Hannah’s snug little house.

The driveway was dark and it had been raining here. The hulking shadows of the trees under which Mary drove slowly and parked were still saturated, dripping steadily onto the roof of the Blue Dog with heavy little sounds, as if a very mischievous someone were dropping handfuls of frozen peas onto the car from somewhere high above. There were lights on in the house and in the apartment lower down, like beacons in a storm, making her feel welcome. As she emerged from the car, she noticed smoke coming from the chimney. She smiled to herself as she walked over a soft, thick carpet of wood chips and leaves to the stairs of the front porch. Someone was home. She trod quietly up the old wooden stairs and walked up to the first door there, that led into Hannah’s little window-lined, plant filled foyer and knocked on the glass with an anticipatory smile on her face. She couldn’t see anyone in there, but lamps lit the living room softly, giving it a homey glow and her smile grew wider, feeling strangely like coming home after a long absence. No one was coming so she knocked again, louder this time, peering around the corner and then walking around to the slider to try to see into the kitchen and hall. Still not seeing anyone coming, she walked back around and down the stairs to try the apartment. Maybe Hannah was down there.

As Mary walked the short distance to the apartment door from the bottom of the steps, she glanced around, noticing all the new outdoor furniture that was not there the last time she was here. It looked like someone had cut a 90-degree chunk out of a six-foot cedar log, leaving the bark on, and nailed it to another upside down half log. It was cool looking, if a little unfinished. The table and chair on the porch matched the bench she had admired first and made a cute little ensemble. Then she was on the porch and reaching for the screen door handle to pull it open. As she pulled it open, the piece of weighted wood hanging beside the door moved up the frame, hanging on its nylon cord. It was a counterweight on a pulley to hold the door closed. That was there last time. Standing in close and holding the screen door open with her left hand, she knocked on the inner door with her right. Then stepping back, she waited, still holding the screen door open. She could hear TV sounds from inside and then she could hear footsteps coming toward her. The door opened and a man stood in the doorway, squinting out at her.

‘Yes,’ he said, and then after a short pause, ‘Can I help you?’ Mary had been expecting Hannah and stood mute, still holding the screen door open with her hand.

‘You okay?’ he asked her. She realized her mouth was open and shut it. Then she opened it again to ask a question.

‘Is Hannah down here? I knocked on the door upstairs, but no one answered.’ She could hear herself beginning to babble and made an effort to stop. The man leaned out the door and pushed the screen open a little more, relieving her of its weight before replying.

‘Yeah, come on in, she’s in the bathroom.’ Mary sidled by him sideways, unwilling to touch a stranger, and quickly stepped away from the doorway to give him room to pass by. He closed both doors and as he walked toward the bathroom, he flung his answer back over his shoulder at her with a gesture of his head.

‘I’ll get her, have a seat.’

Mary looked around and chose a chair, seating herself on the very edge when it tried to envelop her. Everywhere were little knick-knacks, dirty old bottles, stained glass and beads, wooden boxes, and bits of driftwood. The fire burned cheerily in the small wood stove in the kitchen nook, and it was warm in here so she took off her jacket and stuffed it behind herself to further protect herself from the embrace of the chair. The man had knocked lightly on the closed bathroom door.

‘Hannah, someone’s here for you,’ he called out. Then he made his way back toward her and sat on the edge of the bed that dominated the tiny main room of Hannah’s cozy little downstairs studio apartment. He smiled at her and asked if she’d like something to drink.

‘No thanks,’ Mary said and a small gang of moments marched silently by, sticking their tongues out at her as they went. She returned the gesture and the man looked at her sharply, frowning. Turning bright red, she was trying to think up some excuse for her lapse in manners when the bathroom door opened amid a loud flushing sound and the room came alive in the presence of Hannah Kelly as she swept in and brought the sweet familiar scent of lilacs with her. Mary jumped up and was instantly and completely enfolded in Hannah’s welcoming embrace. Mary breathed Hannah’s fragrance in deeply as she returned the warm hug, and reluctantly let go of her, but kept hold of one hand. She stepped back and beamed at her friend. Hannah grinned back and swung their hands a little, then let go and turned toward the man.

‘Rick, I’d like you to meet a very good friend of mine.’ Stepping to one side, she gently propelled Mary forward with a hand on her shoulder as Rick stood up to face her. ‘This is Mary, and Mary, this is Rick. Rick is going to stay and help me out around here,’ she explained. Mary stuck her hand out and Rick took it lightly, barely gripping her fingers, and wiggled her hand up and down slightly before letting go. She could hardly stop herself from wiping her hand on her pants. She hated when people gave her a limp fish of a handshake! She smiled a fake smile at him, nodding politely.

‘It’s nice to meet you, Rick,’ he smiled back, answering shortly.

‘Meetcha.’ Then sitting back down, he leaned exaggeratedly over to see the TV around them. Mary moved out of his line of sight and turned back to Hannah, noticing suddenly that she looked different. Unable to discern what it was that had caught her attention, she frowned, thoughtful. Hannah, noticing her glance, stepped up close and smoothed her hair back from her face.

‘Everything okay, Hon?’ she asked with concern. Mary looked into the lovely wrinkled face of her friend and suddenly all her fears wanted to burst from her like an alien.

‘No,’ was all she could manage through the lump in her throat. Her chin trembled and tears sprang into her eyes, blurring her vision of Hannah’s concerned face. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she gained enough control to speak, though two tears escaped and ran down her cheeks to hang trembling from her chin, dripping off as she spoke.

‘Can we talk?’ she asked, taking a swipe at her chin with her sleeve.

‘Sure, Hon, let’s go upstairs. I’ll make us some coffee and you can tell me what’s on your mind,’ Hannah said, linking her arm into Mary’s arm and leading her toward the stairs.

‘We’ll finish our conversation later, Rick,’ she said as she towed Mary up the first few stairs. Letting go of Mary’s arm, she placed her hand on the hand rail, sliding her hand along it. She looked sideways at Mary.

‘Rick just put this in, isn’t it nice?’ Mary let Hannah pass her on the stairs and then put her hand on the smooth, reddish-brown peeled branch. She let her hand slide along the length of it as far as she could reach, her eyes continuing on up to the top.

‘Yeah, it really is,’ she answered. ‘Is it Manzanita?’ Hannah had progressed up several more stairs but stopped and turned before answering.

‘Yes, Rick found this when I was showing him the yard the other day, and went back and cut and installed it while I was at the store. I came back and it was done.’ Hannah was smiling and running her hand unconsciously up and down the banister with a strange look on her face, and Mary could see that she was blushing! Then Hannah, realizing what she was doing, abruptly stopped and rearranged her features before continuing.

‘I have always loved the smooth feel of this wood,’ she said, turning and continuing up the stairs. Now what was that all about? Mary wondered, then promptly forgot as Hannah said, ‘I got a call from your dad, this morning,’ just as she was going through the doorway to the living room and Mary scrambled up the last remaining stairs to catch up. Before Mary could ask her about the phone call from her dad, Hannah spoke to her urgently as they entered the kitchen.

‘You are still wearing the bracelet I gave you last time you were here, aren’t you?’

Mary, puzzled as to the apparent change of subject, nodded her head and pulled up her sleeve to show her.

‘See?’ The bracelet was still shiny and fit snugly around her narrow wrist. It was warm and smooth under her fingertips and as she stroked it, memory filled her senses.

***

She and Hannah were in the front yard of Hannah’s place, standing in the angle made from the Blue Dog’s open door in a shaft of sunlight coming through a small gap in the trees. Hannah was hugging her and she was fiercely returning the hug, knowing she wouldn’t see her again for months.

‘I don’t want to leave!’ she exclaimed, ‘I won’t be here for the flowers we planted.’ It wasn’t the real reason she wanted to stay. Things had gotten so uncomfortable at home with her mom getting more and more strange, if that was possible, and James was starting to put more pressure on her to take it to the next level, and she wasn’t ready to face all that just yet. She needed more time to think and talk about things with Hannah. But she was expected at home. Dad was going to need the car because Mom had some series of appointments, Mary wasn’t sure what for, she hadn’t been paying attention, thinking instead of her time with Hannah being cut short. Hannah held onto her but pulled back enough to see her face.

‘I know, Hon, I’ll miss you, too, but you will come back soon and the flowers will still be here.’ She smiled and cupped her hand around Mary’s cheek, pulling her face close enough for a kiss.

‘I have something for you until then.’ Hannah reached into her pocket and pulled out a small plain white box with blue and silver embossing on the top that read Southwest Silver. She opened the box and took out a slim silver bracelet with tiny etched designs and beautiful pieces of natural gold and turquoise imbedded into it. Mary sucked in her breath in delight and grabbed her friend around the neck again. Laughing, Hannah extricated herself far enough to take Mary’s hand and fasten the bracelet around her wrist.

‘I’m glad you like it,’ she said. ‘I’d like it if you did me a small favor until you come back.’ Mary was admiring her wrist.

‘Anything,’ she said abstractedly. Hannah waited until she looked up again before continuing.

‘I’d like you to keep it on and not take it off until you come back, will you do that for me?’ she asked, looking intently into her eyes.

Mary, confused by her intensity, but totally trusting that she had a good reason for asking, only replied, ‘Sure, Hannah, no problem, I’ll keep it on.’ Hannah’s face lost its strained look and she smiled sweetly.

‘Thank you, Hon, I would appreciate that.’ She started to step back, and then stopped. She reached out and pulled Mary in for a final embrace before turning away. Walking a few steps toward her stairs, she stopped and turned again.

‘You’ll call me when you get there,’ she said, making it sound like a question.

‘Of course,’ Mary replied, while sliding into the driver’s seat. She shut the car door and rolled the window down. Sticking her elbow out, she started the car.

‘Love you!’ she shouted above the noise of the engine as it caught and revved.

‘Love you too!’ she heard from Hannah, faintly as she pulled away. ‘Don’t forget, don’t take it off!’ the last shout following her into the bright sunshine as she drove away.

***

Blinking, Mary brought herself back to the here and now.

‘Why?’ she asked simply. Hannah, reaching into the cupboard, paused to look at her over her shoulder before turning back to the cupboard and pulling out a stack of coffee filters. Peeling one away from the others, she kept her eyes on the filters as she replied,

‘Why what?’ Turning away again, she fitted the filter into the basket of the coffee pot and turned back around to face Mary, her eyebrows raised in question. Mary looked searchingly into her friend’s lovely pale blue eyes for a long minute, then when Hannah turned away again to reach for the coffee, Mary put out a hand and stopped her.

‘Why did you want me to keep the bracelet on?’ Mary asked. Hannah returned the look and then pulled her arm gently away from Mary’s grasp and picking up the coffee canister, opened it, and began measuring the coffee into the filter-lined basket. Mary waited, knowing Hannah would answer in her own time. Hannah finished measuring the coffee, added water to the reservoir and replacing the pot, pushed the button to start the brewing cycle. Then she turned around and leaning back against the counter, finally replied, guardedly.

‘That bracelet is special.’ She pressed her lips firmly together, shaking her head. ‘I need to ask you about something, first,’ she said, ‘then I’ll tell you about the bracelet.’ She motioned toward the chairs surrounding her battered, solid oak table. ‘Please sit, I’ll get some cookies to go with our coffee,’ she told Mary.

Mary turned to the table and pulled out one of the chairs. The chairs on this side of the table were as solid as the table, each with its own pillow overflowing the seat. The other side of the table was served by a built-in bench booth tumbled with pillows and a small afghan above which was a large window, looking out into Hannah’s garden. In fact, every room had large windows which looked out onto one aspect or another of Hannah’s garden, for it surrounded her house on three sides. Even the bathrooms had tall windows which showed off beautiful greenery and flowering plants just outside them, looking like you could just walk out and into the scenery if not for the glass in between. Mary always felt funny squatting in front of them, half expecting someone to walk up from outside and peer in at her any second while she was peeing.

Outside the kitchen window, there was a short rock wall, next to a narrow brick path. The large Camellia bush growing next to the wall stretched fronds over the walk as if trying to touch the window beyond. The healthy deep green leaves and baby blue petals glistened here and there with drops of water, each perfect drop reflecting tiny rainbows back to the kitchen from the light shining through the window. Suddenly distracted by the reflection of Hannah, coming back toward the table from the kitchen behind her, she noticed herself hovering over the chair and let herself fall into it. Settling in, she reached for the plate Hannah had just put on the table in front of her and chose what looked like an oatmeal cookie with raisins, from it. She raised the cookie toward her mouth and as she took a bite, Hannah set a cup of coffee in front of her, fixed just the way she liked it. She smiled her thanks while chewing, then rolled her eyes in exaggerated bliss. She swallowed and took a second bite.

‘Oh, yum!’ she complimented the cookie. Hannah set her own cup down on the table and pulled out the chair in front of it. She sat down and took a sip of her coffee before taking a cookie herself.

‘Yeah, I actually made them.’ She took a small bite and then set the cookie down in front of her before reaching to take Mary’s hand. Mary had been about to tease her by suddenly pretending to be choking, but when she looked up, Hannah’s expression made the urge take a hike.

‘What?’ she asked. Hannah didn’t immediately answer, only looked at her sadly.

‘What’s wrong, what happened?’ Mary’s hand tightened involuntarily and Hannah winced. Noticing, she relaxed her hand, giving her an apologetic shrug. Looking into Mary’s face, and still gripping her hand, Hannah spoke softly.

‘Honey, how far along are you?’ Mary, surprised, tried to school her features and failed. Her face crumpled and she finally gave in to the urge she had been holding back since she had seen that bright pink plus in that plastic stick. Flinging herself into Hannah’s waiting embrace, she sobbed into her sweater in relief. She was crying so hard at first that she couldn’t breathe, let alone talk, but Hannah seemed to understand her need to get it out and just held her, patting her back soothingly and smoothing her hair and making small hushing noises until she had gotten herself under some semblance of control. Mary sat back, tears still streaming from her eyes, and let out a laugh that was half sob. Hannah handed her a tissue from the box on the end of the table and sat silently, watching her blow her nose. Still trying to laugh but not succeeding for the hitching she was still unable to control, Mary asked shakily for another tissue. This time Hannah handed her the whole box. This finally made her realize anew that Hannah had guessed something she had no reason to know. She slapped her thighs lightly with both hands and took the box with a small sound of indignation. Hannah only looked back at her blandly, as if daring her to deny it. She finished wiping her face, using the time to try to compose herself. She looked back at Hannah, looking back at her and waiting for her to get a grip on herself and laughed again. This time it was more laugh than cry and she took a deep breath and began.

‘About six or eight weeks, I think.’ At this, Hannah opened her mouth as if to speak and then shut it again, motioning her to continue. ‘Well, I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant.’ Mary felt her face getting warm and knew she was blushing. ‘It’s James’ baby,’ she said, ‘You remember, I told you about James.’ At Hannah’s smile and nod, she dropped her gaze, embarrassed to have Hannah see her eyes as she said it. ‘I felt like I was ready, I did wait until I was ready.’ Feeling like she had to defend her actions, she gathered her courage and braced herself.

‘I know I should have planned better, made him use…something, but I wasn’t expecting it to…’ and here she paused, finally looking shyly back up into her friend’s face again. The compassion she saw there made her tears overflow again. ‘I guess I just wasn’t prepared to feel like that.’ She ended lamely through fresh tears, knowing it was her own fault. Hannah reached over and squeezed her hand.

‘I know just what you mean,’ she said and now she was blushing! Mary was startled out of her own turmoil of feelings by this second evidence of something going on with Hannah. Puzzled, she felt her brows draw down over her eyes as she watched Hannah’s face grow redder by the second. Mary was opening her mouth to express her curiosity when Hannah’s eyes shifted to something behind Mary, and her face suddenly changed from secretive and satisfied to startled, and going from red to pale in an instant. Mary swung around, jumping up from her chair to try to see what Hannah had seen behind her. Hannah brushed by her and quickly walked toward the front foyer, opening the door and looking down the stairs to the apartment. After standing there a minute, she shut the door and returned to the kitchen looking thoughtful. She glanced at Mary as she passed her.

‘Losing my marbles,’ she mumbled as she went past. Mary watched her as she walked slowly back into the kitchen and stood in front of the sink, looking down into it. Then she turned and looked back at the door. Mary’s gaze followed Hannah’s as she turned and looked at the door, wondering what she was looking at. Turning back to Hannah, she found her looking back at her intently as if trying to convey some message. She made a gesture with her hand for Mary to come closer to her. Mary, catching her mood, felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Resisting the urge to look back at the door, she stepped closer to Hannah and bent her head to hear her whisper.

‘Later,’ came her voiceless breath and then she stepped back and said in a normal voice.

‘Did you have dinner on the road, dear?’

Confused but playing along, Mary answered back in kind.

‘No, I ate seeds almost all the way here.’ She let amusement colour her voice as she gave Hannah a questioning look. Hannah winked at her before replying.

‘You want to go out?’ she asked Mary.

Mary smiled at Hannah as she watched her nod her head enthusiastically.

‘Yeah, let’s go out.’ Mary winked at Hannah and went to pick up her cup from the table and then to the sink to rinse it out. Hannah was already halfway through the living room on her way to her bedroom.

‘Just let me get my purse and jacket,’ her voice came faintly from the back of the house.

‘Okay,’ Mary called back, ‘but I think I left my stuff downstairs.’ Hannah’s face appeared from around the hall doorway. She looked toward the front door, and then back at Mary, putting a finger over her lips to silence her.

‘I’ll get it, Hon,’ she called from the hallway, ‘Meet me out by the car.’ Mary couldn’t resist a look toward the stairs before grabbing her jacket and opening the slider. The stairs were empty so she stepped out and closed the door behind herself.

She carefully made her way down the wet path at the other side of the front porch that led down to the driveway. Standing in the cool moist air, she wondered what was going on, speculating on what it could possibly be. With all the secrecy, she knew it probably had something to do with Rick. But with her friend’s strange behaviour, Mary knew Hannah must be personally involved. Then she remembered that when she first got here, Hannah was in the bathroom downstairs and Rick was sitting on the bed in there. With a quick indrawn breath, she remembered the mussed sheets and the length of time it had taken Hannah to come out of the bathroom. Now that she thought about it, there was something in the look that passed between them when Mary was being introduced. Just then her ruminations were interrupted as Hannah came out the apartment door and let the screen go behind her. Mary saw Rick’s arm reach out and stop it before it could slam and hold it open as he leaned out to call out to them.

‘Have fun, girls!’ he said in a loud voice. Then he disappeared from view as the door gently closed and Mary unlocked her car and got in while Hannah stepped quickly under the dripping trees around to the passenger side. Mary leaned over and pulled up the lock for Hannah and waited