A Lonely Heart

By Alison Laura Goodman

Hello my name is Alison Laura Goodman; my pen name is Susan Janet Barker.

I am a male to female transsexual.

This is a true story of my transgender journey, from my panic stricken beginnings to the full confidence and happy end.

I hope it is informative as well as a good read for all who are interested in the subject of transgender, cross-dressing and all related topics in between.

My name is Alison Laura Goodman and this is my story

This is the 2nd Edition of A Lonley Heart, A True Transgender Story by Susan Janet Barker.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9781291242393

Alison Laura Goodman

I was born in Nigeria and had my education in Nigeria and England to Masters Degree level, and with more than three professional qualifications. A mature, well educated and experienced business professional, who is able to research, indentify and capitalise upon market opportunities. Very keen to learn new ideas, conscientious and reliable in everything I do. Well organized with a keen eye for details. Have travelled widely in Europe and Africa, and have the ability to relate to people at their levels, and with a competence to offer a great deal too, to any forward looking and progressive person or organization. A man of immense humility, from a reputable Christian background, that cherishes good name, honour and integrity. Hobbies/Other Interests Reading and Researching: mainly religious and health books. Keen on IT knowledge and computer development Interested in world news and current affairs, globalization, global warming and terrorism Spend sometime researching and writing on religious and contemporary issues. Also undertake voluntary work when convenient.

Book preview

A Lonely Heart

A Lonely Heart

By Alison Laura Goodman

My pen name is (Susan Janet Barker)

I am dedicating this to the transgender community

Don’t give up, as anything is possible if you believe in it.

I offer special thanks to Sue who has proof-read my journey

I take full responsibility for any other errors found in this book.

This book is a true story and only the names have been withheld or changed for privacy reasons, everything else you read in this book is one hundred percent true.

Alison Laura Goodman (Susan Janet Barker)

Ebook ISBN #: 978-1-291-24239-3

1st edition paperback ISBN was 978-0-9558497-1-8

2nd edition paperback ISBN is 978-1-291-24227-0

This is the 3rd Edition

The main change in this edition is that the books are free and I give permission for them to be shared freely as long as nothing is changed in this or any of my other books.

Published by lulu.com

Copyright @ Susan Janet Barker 2008

Copyright @ Alison Laura Goodman 2012

Copyright @ Alison Laura Goodman 2016

Index

Life before

Is Cross Dressing Enough?

Keeping It a Secret

Are You Gay?

My Cross Dressing experience

Coming Out

Out of the Closet

A Change for the better

My Treatment Continues

So Near but So Far

Pre Assessment Appointment

Medical Warning

What can go wrong?

What to do before I go down to London for my operation

Sex Reassignment Surgery

Recovery

Is it all done?

The follow up operation

Things That I have learnt along The Way

Author's Footnote

Where Do I Go now?

Voice Operation

The Beaumont Society

Life Before

This is a true story of my transgender journey.

I hope it is informative as well as a good read for all whom are interested in the subject of transgender.

My name is Alison Laura Goodman and this is my story.

At the beginning I didn't know that there was anything wrong or different about me, I just kept my head down and tried to make friends and do well at school, I didn't have many friends as I just could not find anyone with whom I had a sense of friendship and so I just put most if not all of my energy and skills into my school work.  After a while I found out that I had a relaxed attitude to most things and as I kept to myself, I found myself being bullied as I am sure a lot of other kids were and most likely still are today but it wasn't a physical bullying, but more a mental bullying and being young I thought that it was just me. 

So I ignored most of them until the pressure inside was like a pressure cooker and I snapped and lashed out at my tormentors, while I now know that it was wrong I couldn't see it at the time and as I couldn't make friends in school I didn’t have any outside of school either and so finding myself alone inside and outside of school, I didn’t go out anywhere as I had nowhere to go.

It was around this time when I was fourteen / fifteen that I started noticing something was different but I just could not put my finger on what was wrong, all I knew for certain was that I was different to the other kids at school.  It took a while before I had any idea of what it might be, but the catalyst for the start of my journey was a small advert in the back of the News of the world, advertising a shop that could transform the looks of a man to make them look like a woman.  After reading the advert a few times, I was intrigued but at the same time I knew that it was not the accepted norm for boys to want to look and dress like girls but it took me a year or so before my inner feelings spurred me into action. 

The first time I bought some female clothes was a very nervous time for me, just walking into the shop and picking up some knickers and a bra, I felt like everyone was looking at me and that at any second someone was going to ask me why I