On Earth, As It Is: A Kingdom Fantasy Novel

By Jim Doran

Although Harold Tray and Sondra Saturn fell in love in the fairytale realm of Kingdom, they never officially met. Sondra, while in a coma on earth, silently observed Harold’s adventures in Kingdom as he reunited five long-lost sisters. The sisters, best known on earth as princesses, ascended to become queens while Harold returned home. And they all lived happily ever after—or did they? Three years later while Harold and Sondra struggle to establish a lasting romance, a friend from Kingdom travels to earth to tell Harold that someone has abducted the realm’s five queens. Harold assumes he will travel to the world of elves and dragons, but the messenger has a different idea—one in which earth itself will play a vital role. In this whimsical fantasy tale, Harold, Sondra and other characters set out on a new adventure spanning not only one, but two, worlds.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Jul 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9781684702046

Book preview

ON

EARTH,

AS IT IS

A Kingdom Fantasy Novel

JIM DORAN

Copyright © 2019 Jim Doran.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

ISBN: 978-1-6847-0203-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6847-0204-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019904511

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date:  06/28/2019

Also by Jim Doran

Kingdom Come: A Fantasy Novel

DEDICATION

To the real Virginia, with abundant love

QUOTES

Treasure this day, and treasure yourself. Truly, neither will ever happen again. - Ray Bradbury

I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. - Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. - 1 Corinthians 13:12

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Harold Tray - Earth author and boyfriend

Sondra Saturn - Earth scientist and girlfriend

Planet Constellation - Kingdom pixie

Penta Emily Corden - Kingdom queen, eldest, teleporter

Paisley Nepta - Earth wife and mother

Celeste Constellation - Kingdom pixie and guard

Helga Helvys - Kingdom queen, warrior, removes curses

Hildy Ghael - Earth police officer

Roger Jolly - Kingdom prince, husband and guard

Valencia Arkenson - Kingdom queen, match girl, luckiest

Virginia C. Alevain - Earth merchant

Graddock Elston - Kingdom rogue and guard

Cinderella Jolly - Kingdom queen, events coordinator, charmer

Charley Denril-Lace - Earth fantasy fan

T. Pennilane - Kingdom selkie and guard

Snow White Whisper - Kingdom queen, fairest, invulnerable

Sylvia Swonewith - Earth social worker

Rose Red Fyrekilm - Kingdom friend and guard

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1

PERTURBATION

HAROLD

What you have to get through your head, Harold, is that your life is not a fairy tale. You’re never going back.

My girlfriend, Sondra, had spoken the words I didn’t ever want to hear. Funny how twenty-two words can suck the life out of you. I knew what she said was true, but her statement rang a death knell over any hope I would return to Kingdom one day. However, I rebutted with my latest thoughts of returning to the fairytale world where I had spent my summer between high school and college three years before.

I pointed at the pile of papers sitting on the corner table in my apartment. But what about the stories? Admit it. They’re from Kingdom, and we don’t know who sent them or how they did it.

We don’t know they came from Kingdom. The author might be some nutcase who read your novel and sent you a short story of their own.

She had a point, but I was certain the short stories originated from outside of earth. My correspondent had details about Kingdom a casual reader of the novel wouldn’t know.

When I’d returned from the land of fairies and monsters, I wrote a book most considered fiction but that was, in truth, derived from reality. My actual experience had started with a ghost who brought me to Kingdom to unite five sisters separated at birth, and they had become the rulers of that fairytale world. The short stories someone had mailed me had details I hadn’t chronicled but only I knew. They were not made up.

Sondra, seated on my couch and drinking a Sprite, crossed her legs. I paced in front of her, agitated. She said, Why do we have to talk about Kingdom all the time? We started talking about us.

Kingdom is what brought us together, I countered.

It’s our past. We, you and I—Harold Tray and Sondra Saturn—are here now. Not the queens, not the fairies and trolls, not…Planet.

That’s a low blow.

Sondra lowered her eyes. Her expression admitted the truth of my charge, and her tone softened. Planet loved you. I know. That tiny pixie couldn’t love a person more—but she died, Harold. And when you came back, I sought you out. I thought because Planet and I were connected, you and I might feel the same way about one another.

And we do. So what’s the problem?

Sondra’s eyes narrowed. Your head isn’t here on earth. It’s with her.

Another low blow.

As thunder rumbled outside, I decided to attack this from a different angle. If we were there, I wouldn’t have to worry about our money problems. You wouldn’t have to find a job. I was a hero there.

Sondra set the Sprite can on a ceramic coaster. Don’t be like that, Harold. Don’t be a glory-days guy. Yeah, we’re struggling. It stinks I can’t find a job around here after four years of school and massive college debt. It sucks you still have a year left to go. It blows we’re stuck in boyfriend and girlfriend mode now, but that doesn’t mean our best days are behind us.

I ran a hand through my brown, tousled hair. You think I’ll meet famous people and save the world on earth?

Sondra’s eyes locked on mine. You don’t get it. I’m talking about us and what we’ll do together. If we stay together, we’ll have a lot to look forward to.

Drops hit the roof of my apartment. "What do you mean by if? What about when? I thought we were a when sort of couple, not an if sort."

"I guess the hero doesn’t know everything!"

Unmistakable scorn. Sondra took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Going back is not a choice. We have to deal with our issues right here, where we have bills to pay and where we have problems. Let’s be practical and work on them.

I crossed my arms. Really? Now you’re the practical one? Since when did I start dating your sister?

Shut up.

Fury roiled inside of me. Admit it. You’ve changed. You’re not the same person you were when we met.

She said, And when was that precisely? At college or earlier? You didn’t meet me in Kingdom, Harold!

You’re obsessed with this, aren’t you? I meant our first autumn and winter when we met at college. Don’t you remember?

Sondra adjusted her winged, black-framed glasses and rubbed her right temple, a move I had seen before when she was gearing up to deliver her worst. Of course I do. Perhaps…perhaps we need time away from one another.

I stepped back, and my arms dropped to my sides. I struggled to respond, hoping she would disagree with me and fight for us. I wanted her to point out how much we loved each other. I feared if we took a break, we would never get back together again.

Call it gentleman’s intuition if you will, but I knew Sondra was the woman for me. I would never find another like her. Still, as I said, she had changed, and I couldn’t understand why.

Someone knocked three short raps on my door and interrupted our discussion. Rolling thunder followed the knock, and the combined sound put me on edge. The staccato tapping grabbed our attention, but neither of us moved to answer it.

Sondra eyed the door. Don’t.

The rat-a-tat knocking persisted like a wooden stick beating on a snare drum. I decided to irritate her and disregard her command and justified it with the most unlikely scenario. Someone might be in trouble.

Sondra pointed at the door. It might also be a maniac. No one has visited you since you moved in. And now, on a night with a huge storm, you decide to respond? You may be known as Hero in Kingdom, but you’re no hero here.

That’s where you’re wrong. I’m always Hero.

I crossed the room to the door and peered through the peephole. A woman, slight in figure and wrapped in a heavy, scarlet cloak, stood outside. With her head lowered to avoid the rain, she remained unidentifiable.

Sondra stood. Who is it?

I can’t tell. She looks harmless.

I opened the door, and light pushed the darkness away on my porch, revealing a full view of my late-night caller. Slender and wiry, she regarded me with wide eyes. Her black hair cascaded down her shoulders like a waterfall spilling over rocks. I recognized her at once. Rose!

Rose Red, a friend from Kingdom, stood on my porch, but I could hardly trust my eyes. The idea of traveling between worlds was pretty much unfathomable. The woman before me had to be from earth, although her likeness to Rose was incredible. Yet the word she used to greet me chased the impossibility from my mind.

Hero?

2

A ROSE BY THE DOOR

HAROLD

At the mention of my Kingdom name, my jaw dropped, and I forgot my manners, leaving her shivering in the cold and the precipitation. Despite my initial impression of my visitor, I knew she had to be Rose. She had somehow crossed the chasm to earth. Rose Red?

Lightning lit up the sky behind her. ’Tis. I have come a long way.

I opened the door. Come in. How did you get here?

She stepped in from the rain, spotted Sondra, and stumbled against the wall, color draining from her face. For a moment, I thought she was going to faint. Instead, she stepped back. A ghost!

I said, No. It’s not Planet. Remain calm.

She looked desperately at the door then back at me. She has the same brown hair and hazel eyes and is the same height and shape. Even with the unusual object in front of her eyes, it does not matter. I recognize her.

Rose tried to turn the knob, but I placed my hand on hers. This is Sondra Saturn. I know she looks exactly like Planet, but she’s not a ghost, Red.

Rose hesitated, and her eyes shifted to the living room. I wouldn’t let her leave until she explained why she was here. I had met Rose in Kingdom and had recognized her as the character from the fairy tale Snow White and Rose Red.

Did I mention the inhabitants of Kingdom are storybook characters? The events in the fairytale world inspired writers on earth to record what happened as the stories we all know now. The main plots remained the same, but some of the details may be different. As an example, Rose Red is not only a titular character, she’s also Little Red Riding Hood. The original European tales split the two stories and made them about two different people, yet in Kingdom, the tales are of two different events in the same person’s life.

During my time in Kingdom, I met many of the fairytale characters I had read about as a child. Since returning, however, I had reread many fairy tales and fantasies, memorizing them. I sought out the queens’s stories in particular.

Sondra said, If it helps, I can leave the room, but please stay. She backed away rapidly to a chair far across the room.

Gently, I guided Rose inside. Come in. Please, Red?

The fear remained in her eyes, but she allowed me to lead her to a large cushioned loveseat and sank into it, taking in the details of my living room. My sparsely furnished apartment contained a couch, a loveseat, chairs, speakers, a mirror, a bookcase, and two floor lamps. Rose, fascinated by the lamps, stared for a while at the yellow lampshade with black trim. The thunder and rain on the windows drowned out the sounds of the neighborhood. You live here, Hero?

Yes, I do. Sondra doesn’t.

Rose ran her hand across the chair’s smooth surface. Amazing. Who else is here?

No one.

I hear someone playing an instrument.

Jazz resonated from the speakers. I grinned. It’s not anyone. We capture music and play it back when we want. We three are alone. You, me, and Sondra.

How did you get here? Sondra asked, appearing eager to hear Rose’s story.

While I pulled up a chair and sat, Rose eyed Sondra with anxiety. You act as if you know me, but if you are not Planet, we have never met.

Sondra replied, I can explain. When Harold went to Kingdom, I fell into a coma…a deep sleep. I can’t explain why, but I inhabited Planet’s body during his entire adventure. I think she may have known I was there. I had a few vivid dreams before the coma, dreams of living vicariously as her. When she was killed, I woke up.

I looked from Sondra to Rose. Sondra and I met shortly afterward. I trust her as much as I trusted Planet.

Sondra grimaced, and I winced. I mean, I trust her more.

Rose’s attention turned to me, and she took a deep breath. I have come from Kingdom, seeking help. Hero, you may be the only one who can assist us during these dark times.

The music stopped. Rose paused and regarded the square box. When another song started, she eyed the speaker nervously but returned to her story. The queens have disappeared.

What?

Rose rubbed her forehead. May I have something to drink?

Sondra stood. What would you like? How about water with a lemon slice in it?

Yes. Lemons are scarce in Kingdom. I never thought of putting a lemon in water.

Sondra left the room, and Rose leaned forward, whispering. She resembles Planet in all ways. She is more than a twin.

True, but she isn’t Planet, I whispered back.

You used the word ‘isn’t’? Do you practice the old way of speaking of running words together?

Yeah, it’s common here. Louder so Sondra could hear, I asked, What do you mean the queens are missing?

Rose touched the carpet tentatively and ran her hand along the tufts. They disappeared a few days ago, she responded. They were about to dine together, as is customary, but then vanished. Roger observed it occur. One second they were present, and the next—gone.

Sondra returned with the glass. Disappeared? Where did they go?

We do not know.

I accepted a soda from Sondra. What you said doesn’t fit. In fairy tales, incidents rarely occur without an explanation. Fairy tales are not mysteries.

Sondra sat across from our visitor, crossing her legs. Rose’s attention remained fixed on her. My girlfriend bore the gaze and asked, How did you get here?

Rose sipped her water and then spoke. I am not here to ask you to find the queens for Celeste will use her magic to locate them. We have a few ideas about where they were taken. I am here for a different purpose.

I placed my soda on a coaster. Which is?

Rose took another drink and examined the glass. I have never quaffed purer water. Do you have a spring behind your home?

Sondra said, We purify our water on earth.

It does not have a taste. ’Tis hardly drinkable. I marvel at your world. Something as simple as water is completely different than in Kingdom.

Rose, what purpose?

If the people of Kingdom learn that the queens are missing, we will have a revolt. People may storm the castle and set evil men and women on the throne. A kingdom without its leaders is a dangerous place, which is why we have kept the queens’ disappearances a secret. Only a small group know, including Roger, me, and Celeste.

Roger is married to Cinderella, correct? Can’t he rule?

No, Hero. Only the queens rule Kingdom, and Roger is but a prince.

Sondra leaned forward. Don’t the people see the queens daily? Doesn’t anyone wonder where they are?

We have told them the queens are ill and bedridden with a contagious disease. We dare not continue to fib much longer. Those of us left behind have a plan, and it involves you, Hero.

What can I do? Do you want me to go to Kingdom and reassure them until you find the queens?

Rose shook her head. No, they will not believe you. We need five women to impersonate the queens, giving us enough time to find the real ones. Making them look like the queens is not a problem. Celeste is our court magician now. Her spells can change the five volunteers’ looks and voices to match those of the queens. No one will suspect.

Sondra scratched her chin. Why come to us? You seem to have a plan for dealing with this.

Rose bounced on the love seat, obviously enjoying its springy nature. We cannot take five people from Kingdom and transform them. News of a missing person in Kingdom spreads far and wide. Hero, you once claimed earth had many more people than Kingdom. With your help, we hoped to borrow five.

Sondra and I caught each others’ eyes. Sondra erupted in laughter. That’s crazy, she declared.

You do not understand. I have a spell to take them to Kingdom. ’Tis not a problem to travel there.

I stood and ran a hand through my hair. Rose, people from Kingdom understand monsters and magic, but people on earth are different. They don’t believe in fairy tales. Asking them to go to another world would only make them laugh. And they won’t sacrifice their families and jobs for strangers from a fairyland. We will never find five women willing to go to Kingdom.

Sondra said, I could be one of the queens, I suppose. If we only show one at a time—

No, replied Rose. Celeste devised a marvelous plan. She cast the spell to send me here and arranged the return spell as well. Celeste has given me a magic scroll to help us find five likely candidates from your world. You must speak to them.

Rose reached into her bodice and produced a scrap of paper. She handed it to me, and five names materialized along with an address beside each entry. Next to each entry was the name of one of the queens. The streets were all local.

What could I tell them to convince them to go? I asked.

She sipped her water. The truth. Celeste says they will come. As court magician, Celeste knows all. Her wisdom is unquestioned.

I passed the paper to Sondra. She asked, Do they know about Kingdom, Rose?

No, but for some reason, Celeste believes the women will go with little convincing. She told me to cast the spell in this area so you will not have to travel far to recruit them. I do not know the ways of earth or its customs. You have to find and persuade them to help us.

I folded my arms. This is not going to be easy, Rose.

You have to try. We only have a day. You must convince them to come here and to hold hands. Celeste told me words to say for the time. Eight o’clock p.m.

Eight o’clock the next day didn’t leave a lot of time to seek out strangers, gather them into my home, and send them to another world. Yet the queens were my friends, and the opportunity to help them was certainly tempting. If we played our cards right, Sondra and I might travel to Kingdom, and I didn’t want to miss out. Yes, we’ll help.

Sondra said, Rose will stay with me tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll split up. You and Rose visit three of the women and I’ll go to the other two myself.

Sondra and I agreed to the plan, and I made a sandwich for Rose. She sniffed the bread suspiciously but eventually ate it. Once I showed her the light switch, she turned the lights on and off, slowly at first then rapidly. She listened with grave attention as we explained everything in the living room. Eventually, I described a car and explained how we would travel to Sondra’s.

I drove the women to Sondra’s house, Rose first regarding my car with trepidation, saying she didn’t want to climb into its belly. It took a while to convince her that the car was not itself alive. In the end, we opened the windows, and she and Sondra sat in the back seat. Sondra held her hand.

As we drove, Sondra and I asked about the queens and what had transpired since I had left Kingdom. I should’ve asked earlier but Rose’s story threw me off guard. How is your friend, Snow White?

Queen Snow White remains exceedingly fair. She settles conflicts around Kingdom and recently brokered a peace with the gnomes.

It sounds like her, said Sondra. What about the others?

Rose viewed all of the passing sights from her window with wonder. Cinderella hosts many of the festivals of Kingdom. Helga is the leader of Kingdom’s army, the warrior queen of the five. She often suppresses rebellions or settles conflicts. Valencia disappears on secret missions.

And Penta?

She is still the queen of queens, providing guidance to her sisters, governing Kingdom with a firm but just hand.

We have recently read about Kingdom, I said. Someone mailed us stories about the queens. In one of them, Penta went on an expedition to find her father.

Rose frowned. I am not aware of such an event.

Sondra said, The stories we read aren’t true? Cinderella didn’t marry her beloved Roger after he gave her a golden slipper instead of a ring?

I watched in the rearview mirror as Rose removed her hand from Sondra’s. Yes, that happened. Who sent the stories to you?

I flipped on my turn signal. We don’t know. I hoped you would tell us.

Sondra said, It comes through the post office with no return address. It isn’t magic.

Rose shook her head. I am at a loss to explain.

Sondra lived in a one-bedroom apartment and showed Rose how to use a shower after she inquired how to bathe. This gave Sondra and me a moment to talk alone.

Do you think these women will want to travel to Kingdom? I asked.

A ghost had to threaten you to go the first time. You didn’t go gently into that good night, if I may say so.

She was right. I said, Perhaps Celeste’s spell plants a subconscious seed that will help to convince them.

Sondra folded her arms. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

You can’t tell me this isn’t exciting.

She shook her head in dismissal. Intriguing, surely. I know you’re thinking of going back.

I hope they invite me, I said. Is that a crime?

Lousy timing, don’t you think?

I paused and looked at Sondra closely. Have you reconsidered? I whispered my question, fearing the answer.

Sondra stiffened. Why would you think things have changed?

You’re helping out. We’re talking.

For one more day. Besides, Rose is my friend too.

I raised my eyebrows.

Sondra frowned. Well, she was Planet’s friend, but I feel the same way Planet did about the people from Kingdom. You never heard a few conversations between Planet and Rose, but I, through Planet, did.

I understand.

Not entirely, she answered. Harold, Rose’s spell is for these other women. Not us. We’ll convince these women to go to Kingdom and they’ll have an adventure the way you had. Once they disappear, our lives return to normal.

I lowered my eyes to the floor. Normal? You want to separate. That’s normal?

Come on, Harold. Don’t lay all that on me. I want time to work on our problems. You want to go to Fairyland and have everything resolve itself. I only said aloud what we both were thinking.

You keep saying we need time, but if you don’t trust me now, will you ever?

Sondra adjusted her glasses—a gesture to hide her eyes. She looked at me and blinked. Do you think we should go our separate ways?

Before I could respond, Rose emerged from the bathroom wearing one of Sondra’s bathrobes. This robe is comfortable. How do they make it so soft?

I left the two of them to figure out how to get five modern women to believe in fairy tales.

3

FIVE INVITATIONS

HAROLD

The next morning when I returned, Sondra answered the door ready for the day dressed in a Minnie Mouse short-sleeved shirt and a pair of Daisy Duke denim shorts with an embroidered Daisy Duck. The shorts showed off every inch of her curvy legs. Sondra greeted me with a slumberous nod.

I entered. Where’s Rose?

A bit of color returned to Sondra’s cheeks. Wait in the living room.

I strolled into the front room of Sondra’s home, crossing my arms while she disappeared into another room. Sondra emerged holding the hand of a Rose Red, the likes of which I had never before seen. She wore Sondra’s green T-shirt and a pair of black capris. Rose had styled and washed her hair so it shone like a new penny. In Kingdom, Rose had married a werebear and was an archer. Now, she looked like any other American woman. All semblance to the warrior and ursine wife were gone.

Wow.

She turned away and blushed. Please, Harold. She folded her arms defensively and addressed Sondra. I am revealing too much skin.

We dress like this here, said Sondra. If you walk around in your Kingdom clothes, people will stare. And it’s supposed to be hot today. Everyone will be in shorts and T-shirts. You’ll fit in.

Rose held her arms out and examined herself in a nearby mirror. I must say I feel lighter than a cloud in these clothes. It is an odd sensation, but one I could get used to.

I hadn’t expected Rose to adapt to our style of clothes so rapidly. I retrieved my car keys from my pocket. Rose, you’ll come with me. Let’s start with Helga’s decoy. I’ve been rehearsing what I plan to say.

What’s her name? asked Sondra.

Hildegard Ghael. She lives about ten minutes from here.

Sondra asked for the list and scanned it. I’ll talk to Charlotte Denril-Lace and Virginia C. Alavein. You take the rest. Charlotte’s an interesting name.

Who’s she supposed to be?

Cinderella. She’ll be easy. What woman wouldn’t want to become Cinderella?

Plenty, said Rose.

Sondra and I looked at our Kingdom friend, who shrugged. She has many enemies.

The sun shone down, promising a hot day as sprinklers left out past Labor Day watered lawns. I escorted Rose to my car. She opened the door and hopped into the passenger seat without hesitation. I ran around to the driver’s side, surprised to find Rose seated comfortably in the front seat.

She buckled her seat belt. I watched people ride in these horseless carriages on television. Once you realize it is mechanical, it is no longer frightening.

I started the car and drove to our first queenly recruit, Ms. Hildegard Ghael. She lived in a ranch-style residence in a suburb best described as a starter home community. Her house had red brick, white siding, shale-gray roof tiles, and an American flag hanging proudly next to the door. Although not what anyone would call an upscale residence, this was the perfect home for a new family, I thought. I pictured myself raking leaves in a yard like this one while Sondra took pictures of the red, gold, and yellow leaf pile.

I drove over the cracks in her driveway, and I noticed a blue Subaru hatchback parked next to the home. Rose and I exited the car, and our reflections in tinted windows followed us up the sidewalk to the porch. A circular doorbell button next to a screen door beckoned us. I stepped onto the porch and sighed deeply.

What is the matter? asked Rose.

I have no idea how she’ll react to what I’m planning to say.

Rose tried to peer into the front window. Perhaps I should address her.

No. Let me do the talking.

I pressed the button and waited nervously. After a few seconds, two locks clicked, and the door opened. The woman who answered was slightly shorter than me, with long, straight, black hair and dark eyebrows. She had a thin face with narrow, nearly colorless lips and a Roman nose. While she didn’t look exactly like Helga, she bore a passing resemblance. The two wouldn’t be mistaken for each other, but they could be cousins.

She straightened her blue denim shirt as she sized me up. Hello?

Good morning. My name is Harold Tray and this is Rose Fyrekilm. We’re here to ask for your help. You are Hildegard Ghael?

She tilted her head. Hildy will do. How may I help you?

Under a blazing, autumnal sun, I launched into my appeal. An important person was kidnapped recently. You resemble her. The news of her disappearance would greatly upset the population. We need you to act like her for a short period of time.

Rose examined her. You will be perfect.

Amazed, Hildy gaped at us. Is this a joke?

I’m serious.

She put her hand on her hip, reminding me even more of Helga. And you want me to stand in for an abducted woman?

I clenched my jaw. Yes, but there are strings.

Her eyes narrowed. Of course there are. Who put you up to this? It’s Dan, isn’t it?

I have no reason to lie. My friend… I said, indicating Rose, …is a resident of their country. She’s traveled a long way to ask you this favor.

Hildy examined Rose. She looks American to me.

Rose did fit in rather well. I decided to put the spell to the test and spill it all. I sensed Hildy didn’t appreciate a soft sell. She’s not from America, or earth, for that matter. Let’s say she’s from a distant land and leave it at that. Someone has kidnapped the ruler of her world—

Hildy swung the door shut.

I turned to Rose and shrugged. She grabbed my arm. Why did she not let you finish? You spoke the truth.

I told you no one will believe us. I didn’t even tell her it was a fairytale world. If I had revealed that, she’d have called the police to haul me away. Let’s go.

Rose started to press the doorbell again. We are not leaving.

I grabbed Rose’s arm. Let it be. If we end up in jail, no one will go to Kingdom. Let’s see how many we sign up. Sondra may be able to stand in for a queen, and she may be able to recruit some of her friends.

Rose grumbled to herself as I directed her to the car, then spoke her mind. It has to be this woman, she said. You have to convince her, Hero. You convinced the maidens that they were queens. You need to do the same here. After all, this is your world. You should have more influence here.

We walked to the car. You forget I had the prophecy last time, I said. And the queens instantly recognized each other when they met. Convincing them wasn’t hard at all. Hell, Penta knew she was a princess before I arrived. And as far as my influence around here, I know best when to retreat and try again. We’ll try a little later with a different approach.

We climbed into the car. Rose put a hand on my shoulder to prevent me from starting the motor. What will you say to her later?

I released the emergency brake. She won’t listen to us now. We need to send Sondra here. Maybe this woman will listen to Sondra.

As I started the car, Hildy’s front door opened, and she rushed out. She marched toward us, fists balled at her sides. I muttered, Uh oh.

She gestured to me to roll down the window. Amazed, Rose watched as I pressed a button and the glass descended on its own. We’re leaving, I assured her.

She placed her hands on the sill of the driver’s window. Hold on. Let me get this straight. You want me to travel to another world to impersonate a leader?

A queen! said Rose.

Hildy tilted her head in surprise, and her eyebrows rose. A queen? You want me to be a decoy in this other world?

I was suspicious. Why ask questions when she clearly hadn’t believed us a minute ago? Good-bye.

Rose put a hand on the steering wheel as if to stop the car. I am sure the queens would pay you for your trouble once we find them!

There’s more than one queen? Was mine the only one kidnapped?

I held up a hand to Rose. No, there are five. They were all kidnapped. You were selected by—

By magic! interrupted Rose. You were selected by magic.

I shut my eyes. This was it. We would be lucky if this woman didn’t call the police. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised by the curious expression on her face. I wouldn’t say she bought our story; however, clearly she wished to hear more.

Magic, she repeated slowly.

Yes.

And this is how we’ll get to this other world? We’ll use magic?

I nodded, too embarrassed to answer in words.

"And this world has queens and magic. Anything else different from earth?"

Picture earth during the medieval times, I said. With armored knights, ships, and horses.

Rose leaned over me. And magicians, and pixies, and giants.

Hildy nodded agreeably. Uh huh. Kind of like a fairy tale.

She’s humoring us, I thought. No way anyone would believe all this.

And how much do I need to pay you to go to this magic land? continued Hildy. It sounds like a lot of fun.

I shook my head. It won’t cost you anything. You’re the one helping us, remember? You’re a decoy and you’ll have the resources of the queens to protect you, but being there won’t be a walk in the park. Someone’s behind the kidnappings, and they’ll be dangerous.

Hildy’s eyes shifted from Rose to me and back again. I don’t pay you at all?

Rose dropped her hand from the steering wheel, No, absolutely not. This is an honorable undertaking. Why should we expect you to compensate us for your assistance in such a dire time?

Hildy considered Rose’s question for a few moments. I’m in. How do I get there?

I raised my eyebrows. What?

I believe you.

I didn’t trust her. What caused the change of mind? Regardless, I handed her a piece of paper with my name and address written on it. She examined it. And if I leave a note with your information, it’s cool. Right?

You may be gone for a few days, so plan accordingly.

Of course. Should I pack?

Rose said, No. You will wear royal garments in Kingdom. You shall be Helga’s decoy—the warrior queen.

Huh, said Hildy. Do they have cellular service?

I scowled. If you think we aren’t serious, we’ll find someone else.

I’m kidding. When do you want me to come over?

Tonight at eight.

She stepped away from the car. I’ll be there.

Hildy waved at us as we backed the car down her driveway. Rose waved back joyfully. See? No problem!

That was too easy. Something isn’t right.

Rose scanned the list. Now we will visit Sylvia Swonewith. She rattled off the address. Hopefully, she will be as easy to convince.

Sondra

I hope I don’t ruin the suspense too much, but I did an excellent job inviting the two women on my list to come to Harold’s. Unlike Harold and Rose, who had many issues recruiting their three women, I had a relatively easy time convincing two women to drop everything and travel to a fairytale world.

My first interaction was…interesting. I visited Queen Valencia’s counterpart—a woman named Virginia C. Alavein. Talking her into showing up took a little time and a special incentive, but I persuaded her to go.

My next encounter is worth describing in more detail. I drove to the residence of Charlotte Denril-Lace. She lived in an apartment complex on the seedier side of town. When I found her building, I drove around for a secure place to park. I said a quick prayer for the safety of my car before making my way to her apartment.

Charlotte lived on the second floor. I pushed a button for her apartment and she answered. I wanted to meet with her face to face before I described the mission but had to respond with a plausible reason for my visit. I told her I had a unique offer.

I expected her to ask what kind of an offer, but the door buzzed instead. I climbed the stairs to her apartment and before I even raised my hand to knock, she opened the door. A medium-height woman with a full figure and long, straight sandy-beach-colored hair flashed me a mischievous grin. She wore a T-shirt with the message I knocked them down at the Festive Bowling Alley, which revealed tattooed arms depicting tarot cards.

Are you Charlotte Denril-Lace? I asked.

Call me Charley.

I’m Sondra Saturn.

She smirked. Trippy. Come in.

I entered her small apartment, an eclectic mix of hand-me-down traditional and modern furniture. I sat on a folding chair in the sparingly equipped living room and examined a painting of an Aztec warrior holding a twisted staff on the surface of a purple planet. The picture had a thin, silver frame and hung on a wall. She had framed fan art. Who does that?

Charley went to her refrigerator. What kind of soda do you prefer? Coke or Sprite?

My shoulders tensed. I’d expected her to slam the door in my face and instead I was invited inside. I’d expected her to regard me suspiciously but instead she offered me something to drink. My hackles were on full alert. Sprite.

Here, she said and tossed me the can of Sprite. She sat on her couch, crossed her legs, and popped a stick of chewing gum in her mouth. What’s this offer? I’ll warn you. I already gave blood this month.

I sipped the soda. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s rather an extraordinary request.

She munched the gum excitedly. I’m open minded. Lay it on me.

I knew, no matter how open minded she claimed to be, my proposition would still sound ridiculous. However, I trusted this unusual woman to at least hear me out. Her apartment’s decorations, posters proclaiming Big Brother knows about alien abductions and Nature holds more secrets than any scientist can discover, increased my confidence. I cleared my throat. A queen has been kidnapped. We want you to take her place while we search for her.

Really? she said. Espionage stuff?

"Sort of. It won’t be your job to find the queen. Instead, we want