How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You?

By Jason Haerich

More than eighteen years worth of conversations, lectures and guidance condensed into the top 101 life lessons from father to son as he prepares for a life on his own.

Includes foreword and message from mom.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9781312973626

Book preview

How Many Times Do I Have to Tell You?

How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?

Jason Haerich

Foreword by Christine Haerich

2015

Copyright © 2015 by Jason Haerich

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

So there…

First Printing: 2015

ISBN: 978-1-312-97362-6

Jason Haerich

Smithville, MO 64089

Dedication

To my progeny, legacy, friend, and proudest achievement, Talon.

So far so good my boy…

Foreword

To my dearest Talon,

If we could be the perfect parents to you, we would.  The love I have, and I know your Dad does too, is a huge love and one that comes from a place of wanting all the best things in life for you. 

Talon, try and accept that you don’t have all the answers yet, accept that maybe you don’t always feel like you fit in.  Accept that you are still growing up and it is a tough process – harder still when you feel like you don’t always fit the mold that the world tells you to fit in.  Accept those things but don’t be defined by them - be defined by the good things you know about yourself and be defined by what you see for yourself ahead of you because there will always be struggles and difficult people along the way and if you can find a way to accept that and be at peace anyways then you will be ahead of most people.  Life is a journey and you will experience new things that will teach you more about yourself as you grow so while defining yourself to help you be strong inside right now be careful not to box yourself in - be open to new things and ideas.

We’ve had a lot of fun over the years.  We hope that you have also learned a few things!  While we are sad that this chapter is over, we are so excited for your future and the next chapter that you have yet to write.  In the end, it’s been tough for us to realize you are not our little boy anymore but an adult now.  We have so many great memories with you and know we have many more ahead of us. Be proud of what you have accomplished and stay hungry for success. Don’t give up on your dreams and stay focused. We are always here for you and are extremely proud of you!

I love you so much.

Mom

Introduction

Ernest Hemingway allegedly said you must do four things to become a man: Plant a tree, fight a bull, write a novel and father a son.  Planting trees?  Easy, done that plenty.  Fight a bull?  Well, when you’ve work on a dairy farm in the past you have the occasion to dodge a bull or two and smack them around, so I’ve certainly annoyed a few at the very least.  I’m thinking this isn’t exactly what Ernie meant but I’m counting it anyway.  I have written a novel albeit not a very good one.  And I’ve fathered a son - again, success in this regard is subject to debate.

Your Grandpa TJ, my dad, once said that we spend our parenting lives trying to right wrongs we feel were committed to us growing up, and in doing so we commit a new set of wrongs on our kids for them to correct when they have kids.  I think this is very true and I know I’ve blasted you with some doozies over the years.

Right or wrong, every relentless lecture, every exasperated statement and every meaningful chat was intended for the best and to help you find yourself and grow into your own man, whether or not you follow the Hemingway list.

You’ll find no surprises in this book; you’ve heard it all before (many, many, many times… I’ve had 18+ years to drone on so far).  As you journey into your own life and your own decisions, out from under the critical eye of your parents, this will hopefully serve as a reflection of my own experiences in life and give you a chance to grow in your own.

Last thought; I’m sure you’ll be amused to note that in many cases, I should follow my own advice.  Joking narcissistic statements aside, I’ve never honestly thought I was perfect, so I’d agree with your assessment.  As long as you never stop trying to improve, you’re on the right path. 

Enjoy!

Dad

Chapter 1: Money

Have a back up plan 

Few things in life are more uncomfortable than desperation, and it seems that the exact thing you hope won’t happen when you’re short of pocket change is exactly what happens.  The car breaks down, the damn speed trap results in a traffic ticket, pissing off your boss and getting fired, the unexpected doctor visit – all of these occur regardless of whether you have the money in your checkbook or not.  Life doesn’t care if you’re financially ready for it.  That said you can get in front of it by planning for it, and having a backup plan.  Have some money left over somewhere that can pull you out of a crisis (and don’t count on the Bank of Mom and Dad – many people rely on this as a safety net – be independent enough to never have to ask).  The best plans have multiple safety valves and tiers of accessibility: emergency fund, savings account, credit card, investments, retirement account – each in order of how easy it is to get the money (or the progression of what you should access in what order).  Once the crisis is averted, focus your energy on rebuilding your backup – put all available funds to rebuild your emergency fund before buying anything else, etc.    

Keep enough money in your wallet to make it home

Cash is only one way to pay for things nowadays but a rule of thumb I’ve always followed is to keep enough tucked away in your wallet to make it home.  That means enough money to fill up your gas tank as many times as necessary to make it to a home base – that being your own home, our house or somewhere you can regroup.  Keeping that cash tucked away has averted many a crisis… and needing pizza and beer doesn’t amount to a crisis.

Credit cards can be evil

It is so easy to get sucked in with credit cards – you