Excellence Off the Field Ebook

By Tony Scruggs

Can you imagine being able to resolve conflict more effectively? How about being able to say "no" more compassionately? What about being able to celebrate people’s success more empathically and improve your physical, financial & spiritual harmony? Imagine no more. Excellence Off The Field takes you from Ucla to India, and takes you onto the field (& into a huddle with Jim Harbaugh). From Montessori to Mindful Empathy, go back to the future and help yourself discover even more about yourself by way of a young American of African-Ancestry. (Use the tag #EOTF)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Sep 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9781365320538

Book preview

Excellence Off the Field Ebook

Excellence Off The Field

The Ultimate Guide To Mindful Empathy

(How to Prevent, Manage & Resolve conflict)

BY TONY SCRUGGS

True North House Publishing

Worldwide Publishing  & Productions

www.TrueNorthHouse.com

Copyright

Copyright 2015 - 2016 Anthony Raymond Scruggs All Rights Reserved

First Edition ISBN: 978-1-365-32053-8

Published by: True North House Publishing and Productions

Contact: [e-mail] before using any material from this book. Thank you!

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my Mom (RIP) & Dad. Thank you for the gifts of Love, Understanding, Support and Validation. I feel SO Grateful to have ended up on this side of the planet with the most amazing parents a young man could ask for. I am me because of you ;) (That’s Dad’s Mom to the right...hi Grandma)

I also want to recognize our fellow members of Team-Humanity who have transitioned violently in places like Kenya & Paris.

Foreword

I first met Tony Scruggs on social media where he practices mindful empathy every day. I then had the pleasure of meeting him in person at the SKETCHERS Pier to Pier Friendship Walk in California where I was public speaking. Tony participated in the benefit and awareness walk along with my family. Tony is a high energy joy to be around. I have found him to be a very genuine, caring and thoughtful person. I appreciate Tony’s passion and commitment to share empathy with the world.

This book is a great and authentic example of how Tony shares his wisdom about conflict resolution, empathy and compassion.  His message empowers us to live our best and most loving lives. Tony’s style, in person and on paper, is engaging and fresh and that makes this book fun and helpful. I know you will enjoy connecting with Tony as much as I have. I have no doubt that he will inspire you to be the best person you can be. I wish there were more people like Tony in this world. XOXO,

~Jacqueline Laurita

Autism Advocate, Reality TV personality (RHONJ), Cosmetologist and proud Mother of Three!

What People Are Saying About Tony

Tony had this routine where he’d show up early, prepare for the task at hand (Physically & Mentally) and then totally let go and trust that he was ready. I had him on my team on the field and on the movie set, and what I can say about Tony Scruggs is that he is as Professional as he is Playful. ~Garry Marshall, Director, Producer, Writer, and Softball Player

Tony Scruggs has amazing communication tools that are nonviolent and can help you connect to yourself & others. His ideas will enhance your life and your relationships! ~Arun Gandhi, Grandson of India’s legendary leader, Mohandas K. Mahatma Gandhi

If you enjoy people who live what they say, speak from the heart, and instantly inspire others then you are going to LOVE Tony Scruggs. Not only does he know what he's talking about when it comes to Empathy & Compassion, he also speaks, thinks, writes and energizes everyone he touches with his authentic, caring, powerful presence. ~Dr. Sheri Meyers, Relationship Therapist, TV Host, Author and Nationally Recognized Love and Intimacy Expert

"When I first met Tony Scruggs after a Wilson Phillips concert, he told me that Hold On influenced & impacted his life for the positive. Now he takes that message of hope, combines it with compassion and impacts others in a positive way. I'm so proud that our song is a part of his philosophical music!" ~Carnie Wilson, Mother, Wife, Friend, Culinary Artist and 1/3 of Wilson Phillips

This well-written book offers alternative ways for dealing with real and potential personal conflict. It's compelling, instructive and frequently fun. Enjoy the read. ~H. Arlo Nimmo, Cultural  Anthropologist, Short story writer and Andrew's Sisters/Agatha Christie aficionado

Tony’s long-term commitment to understanding and embodying the principles of Nonviolent Communication inspires me. His thinking and approach is fresh, fun and compelling for people of all ages.  If you are interested in communication and finding new tools for creating skillful connections, I recommend his work. ~Kit Miller, Director of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence

I first connected with Tony online after some tweets regarding his mentor at Ucla, the legendary Coach John Wooden, and his Great Uncle, the late Hall of Fame baseball player, Josh Gibson. It was obvious to me right away that not only does Tony speak and write about Empathy & Compassion, he lives it! He’s a terrific guy and I’m honored to be able call him my friend! ~Bob Burg, coauthor of The Go-Giver

I met Tony Scruggs through a friend online who thought we'd be able to connect around bullying & Compassioning. Before I knew it he agreed to read my book, and his style of Empathic feedback combined with his athletic discipline & creative artistry was powerful & fascinating. Now we're teammates & speakers on the non-bullying 'Rise Above Tour' and between gender, ancestry and philosophy, I believe our brand of yin and yang is paradigm shifting synergy. Tony's self-help memoir teaches invaluable, encompassing lessons in compassion that will offer insight and healing to a troubled World. ~Jennifer Fraser, PhD, Mother, Teacher, Actionist and Author of Teaching Bullies

Tony Scruggs is a positive blast of energy, deeply aligned with the spiritual forces now rising up from the heart of things. He’s an excellent communicator, an excellent speaker, and a lover of things that matter most. ~Marianne Williamson, A RETURN TO LOVE

Tony Scruggs hits a Home Run with his ideas. He can help you access your inner Empathic Communicator and discover your next best self! ~Tony Danza, Actor and Father

When I think compassion, I think Tony Scruggs. He exudes such a positive energy, that you can’t help but be enveloped by his charm and enthusiasm. This book is just the first step to seeing your world thru an entirely new and positive scope. ~Jane Atkinson, Coach, Mother, Speaker and Author of Wealthy Speaker 2.0

I met Tony for the 1st time at the 'Life You Want Tour' with his Father in San Jose, Ca. The venue happened to be the last place his Mother performed (with Barbara Streisand) before she transitioned, and Tony truly embodies the Celebration of Life spirit that the event represented. If you’re looking for an out-of-the box Transformational writer & speaker, you've come to the right person. ~Lonnell Williams, World Traveler, Truth Student, OWNer and ‘Stand In Your Light’ advocate

I’ve been interviewed by him on the radio, I’ve watched him speak and I’ve broken bread with him. Some people share philosophies, some people share strategies, when it comes to Empathy & Compassion Tony Scruggs is one of the few people I know who gives you their Synergy. ~Rich Cruse, Motivator, Pro Photographer and Social Media Specialist

As the product of a family of sportswriters, inventors, entrepreneurs and all-around mental discoverers, I was instantly drawn to the magnetic energy & innate intellectual curiosity of Tony Scruggs - Empathy Guy and former Major League Baseball player. What an intriguing combination! And for his part, he says when I gifted him with the phrase 'self-help memoir' his whole life changed. After all the lives he's going to change I'm grateful to have played a part. Speaker, Writer, Consultant...you're in for a treat with Tony! ~Christine Whitmarsh, Speaker, #1 Bestselling author, Celebrity bestselling ghostwriter and CEO. www.christine-ink.com

I've known Tony Scruggs for over 10 years and when it comes to speaking about Empathy & Compassion he's the real deal. He can help you take whatever it is that you're doing, whatever it is that you've dreamed of and catapult it to the next level. ~Joshua (OU) Morrow, Father, Renaissance Man, Athlete & Nick Newman on The Young & The Restless

Tony Scruggs is Empathic. Tony Scruggs is Compassionate. And as a speaker & coach he truly lives what he teaches! ~Frances Fisher, Mother, Activist, Award winning Actress for Titanic

Tony is a passionate man driven to make a difference in the world. I am always excited to see what he is going to come up with next on his journey to make a lasting difference in peoples’ lives! ~Jairek Robbins, Author of Live it! Achieve Success By Living With Purpose

Tony told me that I had him at 'Ahimsa' (the Sanskrit word for nonviolence). Well he had me at Empathy & Compassion! A former Professional Athlete who offers a bridge-of-transport from our heads to our hearts via Mindful Communication? That’s what I'm talking about, and I'm proud to say that I'm a member of #TeamAhimsa. ~Reshma Thakkar, Founder of ‘Made With A Purpose,’ ‘Explorer Quest’ Adventurist and featured guest in Oprah Winfrey’s film, Belief

Tony is an incredible human being! I have had the pleasure to watch the ongoing growth of his talents to touch lives along the way. He approaches his work and life with a can-do attitude and positive persona! Working with Tony has not only been in deep gratitude, but an inspiration as well! ~Alex Bryant, Graphic Designer/ Social Media Correspondent

Tony Scruggs is an amazing Transformational Speaker. Exercise his ideas if you want to empower your Life! ~Seane Corn, Internationally renowned Yoga teacher, Spiritual Activist, co-founder of Off the Mat, Into the World

When Tony Scruggs talks about Mindful Empathy he's both creating like an artist and remembering like a Socratic thinker.  Let his words remind you AND inspire you. This musical poet changes the paradigm and brings us back to ourselves. All of it done with the discipline of an Athlete and the charisma of a Rock Star. ~Ira Ingber, Multidimensional Musician, composer, guitarist, member of ‘jackieO,’ and architect of ‘Time Sensitive’

From a Man's World to a Heart World.  ~LeGrande Green (Emmy Award winning Producer from the Oprah Winfrey Show)

I believe in creating Stars out of scars. So to see someone take his invisible scars, share them with everyone and shine bright, only proves that we all have the ability to overcome and achieve Greatness. Tony shines through! ~Krystian Leonard, Author, Activist, Founder/President of ShiningScars and  MissWVCollegiate2015

In the short time I've known Tony Scruggs, I've been able to see that he doesn't just talk about Empathy and Compassion, he lives & breathes Empathy and Compassion (& truly walks the walk).  Oh yah besides being my SAG sibling, his locker was next to Nolan Ryan’s. How cool is that? ~Charlie Adler, Actor, Activist, Citizen of the World and Emmy Award winning Dialogue Director

When you meet, talk to or hear Tony Scruggs, you just know that you’re with someone who is aligned Spiritually, Mentally & Physically. I’m so happy that I was able to play a role in shining a light on his mission to share Compassionate Communication with the World. ~Tanya Brown, sister of the late Nicole Brown Simpson. Speaker, Life Coach, Author (Finding Peace Amid Chaos & The 7 Characters of Abuse) and Domestic Violence Prevention Advocate.

Give Others The Gift! Pay This Book Forward.

Before you get started

I hold the belief that contributing to the well-being of another person is one of the most wonderful things we can experience in this lifetime.

I hope what you're about to experience contributes greatly to your well-being. I want to help you become the most effective version of you that you can possibly be.

In the next hundred plus pages you'll discover some fun & unique ideas that will empower you and catapult your life to the next tier of growth & expansion.

A few ideas may be totally fresh and a few ideas may be familiar. I hold the belief that this book will challenge your thoughts and require some effort on your part as well. I also hold the belief that you're going to have so much FUN with all the surprises that you'll discover. May you find yourself closer to the grandest version of your greatest vision upon finishing this read.

I'm so fired up that you're here and I can't wait to hear how this book impacts your life (hopefully in person).

Pay it forward when you're done, okay? ;)

~Tony Scruggs      

(The Empathy Guy, former Major League Baseball player, Founder & Architect of www.TheEmpathyGuy.com)

Some words are weighted, some words are weightless. Some words #LiftYouUp and escort you to Greatness. ~SiMBa

Chapter 1

Spring Training

Just weeks after my 1st Major League at-bat I found myself sitting in a hospital bed with three tubes coming out of my knee. I remember something about a hamstring tendon being removed from my Right leg and it being used to replace an ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) that had disintegrated in my knee. It was all happening so fast. I really didn’t know what was going on. All I knew was that my right leg (the leg I didn’t appreciate until that moment) was my back leg in hitting, my lead leg in base stealing, and this wasn’t how it was supposed to go down!

How was it supposed to go down? Great question, glad you asked. That’s part of the big picture in this exploration of excellence & conflict resolution. I was taught to set a goal, write it down, make a plan and take action. I was also taught that right before you reach a goal, you write down a new one with even more specificity than the previous one (did you catch that?). Somewhere in the mix I forgot to repeat that last step. It seemed like I was being reminded (knocked in the head) to figure out the next mountain I wanted to climb. So how was it supposed to go down? Probably exactly the way it did, but I’ll let you in on the fantasy version that I created in that hospital room.

I didn’t write down how long I was going to play in the Big Leagues, but in that hospital room I knew I was pissed. I was pissed that my 20 year Derek Jeter career was no longer an option. I didn’t write down how many Home Runs I was gonna hit, but I was pissed that it wasn’t gonna be as many as my teammate Sammy Sosa. Baseball America said that coming out of UCLA I was like Bo Jackson, with a combination of Power & Speed. And I was pissed that wasn’t gonna come to fruition. I never wrote down the goals that would’ve led to that level of sustained excellence. What did I write down? I wrote down, Someday I want to play in the Major Leagues, and that’s exactly what happened. I received exactly what I asked for. In that hospital bed I had time to reflect on where I’d been, where I wanted to go; and who I wanted to be, to get me there.

This Intro/Opening/1st Chapter is my version of Heat, Play, Glove (You like that Elizabeth Gilbert? But not in that order)! A quick look at what brings us to this moment. I hope you enjoy the ride, learn from what I’ve tried, benefit from wisdom I’ve applied, and decide for yourself what stays inside. Good Luck, I really want you to get everything you want; while being able to help those around you do the same.

PLAY (aka Childhood)

You’ve heard of Montessori, right? For those of you who answered, No, Montessori is a type of school characterized by an emphasis on independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s physical, psychological and social development. The Mission is based on holistic child development (by way of environmental awareness, empathy for others, social ease & self-confidence)! Feel me? You’ve heard of the Methodist Church, right? So stay with me on this one. If a picture speaks 1000 words, here are 10 words that I believe speak 1000 pictures:  I Am A Montessori Methodist Raised In Palo Alto, California. What does that mean to me? It means I grew up with the discipline of the church, and the unorthodoxy of a different type of private school. It means Stanford University (& more significantly the comfort of College