Blame Robert

By Margaret Grant

Inspired by his cinema heroes, Robert dreams of performing good deeds and rescuing people from dangerous situations. However, he is also accident-prone! He joins forces with five friends, who have an agenda of their own. Will their combined efforts be hampered by Robert's constant mishaps? This is the second book about the adventures of six friends, aptly named, THE HAPPY WANDERERS.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 9, 2015
• ISBN: 9781326469733

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Published by ScruffyRed Press

Kilmarnock

www.scruffyred.com

The right of Margaret Grant to be identified as the author of this work, has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act, 1988. ©John Grant, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-326-46973-3

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any other form or by any other means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publishers. This book may not be lent, hired out, resold or otherwise disposed of by way of trade in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, without the prior consent of the publishers.

Designed and typeset by ScruffyRed.com

Cover design © John Grant and Son

To contact the author: -

[e-mail]

Version: March 17, 2016 7:02 PM

Thanks

Many thanks to my son John, who used his publishing skills to prepare this book for printing and to my husband John, for the many hours he spent proof-reading.

I am especially grateful to both of them for the front cover design.

Acknowledgements

I have written this book for my grandchildren: -

Joseph Adams

Holly Lumsden

Calum Grant

Nina Adams

Isla Grant

Strath Lumsden

Chapters

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

More hurry, less speed

Chapter 1

Robert! You’ve done it again! I’ll never forgive you if you’ve wakened Mum! Maureen was seething. Her jaws were clamped together and her fists were clenched. Close by, Nan stood open-mouthed in astonishment. How could Robert do this to them on today of all days?

To be fair to him, he had been the victim of circumstances. In his rush to get the job done, he had jumped down the stairs, two at a time, while his sisters had the sense to tiptoe cautiously behind him. Just inside the living room door, his foot had landed on one of their abandoned roller skates and the rest is history!

Completely under the demon’s control, he had whirled around the dim room, with his hands in the air, like a crazy figure in a musical box. Then, becoming dizzy, he had overbalanced, and reversed right into the Christmas tree. Pandemonium had broken out! All the tree’s miniature bells had tinkled angrily and dozens of silver baubles had crashed to the floor, one by one. Their tiny, brittle particles now lay crunched up on the linoleum, beside flattened matchbox parcels.

There was no doubt about it, Robert had excelled himself this time! He quickly realised that the branches weren’t going to release him without a struggle. Like the tree itself, he was leaning unsteadily to the side, with one foot raised off the ground, in an effort to balance. From this ridiculous position, he stared at his sisters and awaited their reaction.

As expected, Maureen had no sympathy for him. Her face twisted with fury, she hissed, Do not move, and that’s an order! If you struggle to free yourself, you’ll cause more damage and noise, and Mum will come down on us like a ton of bricks.

Robert already felt that a ton of bricks had come down on him, but he kept that information to himself.

Maureen turned to Nan and whispered, Right, here’s the plan! I will straighten up the tree, then we’ll both loosen him from the branches. Okay?

Still in shock, Nan just nodded. She decided that she’d better stay close to the door, to give Maureen plenty of room to manoeuvre. With Robert snared in its branches, the tree would be heavy and cumbersome. However, Maureen had the strength of a cart horse and would be able to deal with the situation.

With her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, Maureen approached the tree and gasped at the amount of jagged debris on the floor. Here goes! she whispered, as she threw herself to her knees, flinching when the sharp fragments sliced into her skin. Then, without further complaint, she grasped the trunk and pulled with all of her might.

When she had returned the tree to its upright position, Robert placed both feet on the ground and sighed deeply. Although he would soon be free of the horrible, prickly spines jabbing at his back, he knew that his troubles were just beginning. The tree and its decorations were badly damaged. That horrible crunching sound beneath his feet, was proof enough. Oh, why did everything have to happen to him?

With the job done, Maureen stood up, hastily dusted off her hands and knees and turned around. Her jaw dropped, when she saw that Nan had not yet closed the living room door, in order to prevent any noise from carrying upstairs. She stomped over and, considering how angry she was, gently and silently closed it. Now, hands on hips, she scowled at her sister, who innocently peered back at her for a few seconds, before exclaiming, Oh, Maureen! Look at your hands and legs! The pine needles and glass splinters have cut them. They are bleeding all over the place. I’d better give you some first aid before they become infected. There is a brilliant antiseptic cream in the doctor’s bag, which I got for Christmas and I’m sure it would work a treat. Will I go and get it from the bedroom? As always, Nan felt a warm glow at the prospect of giving first aid.

The older girl stared at her as if she was crazy. No, you certainly will not! We don’t have time for that luxury. Just grip the tree, will you. While you hold it steady, I’ll slowly prize Robert away from the needles.

Instead of letting the matter drop, she shook her head and sneered, First aid! Is that all you think about, Nan? If you don’t have your nose in that big medical book, you’re always dressed up like Florence Nightingale. It’s a wonder you don’t wear that uniform to bed. I’ll bet you ask Mum and Dad for the matching paraffin lamp for your birthday. First aid! Give me strength!

Hurt by these cutting remarks, Nan lowered her gaze, to hide the tears which were welling up in her tired eyes. Abruptly, she seized one of the sturdier branches. The sharp needles immediately pierced her fingertips and although she was desperate to lick them to ease the pain, she didn’t dare. She would just have to suffer in silence.

After a great struggle, Maureen managed to pull Robert free. Then, deliberately squeezing his arm, she dragged him towards the window, to inspect his back in the shaft of light, which zigzagged between the closed curtains. He, afraid to cause any more trouble, stood as still as a statue, awaiting her verdict.

Honestly! I have never seen anything like that, in all my life. Those needles look like a huge, green cloak over your back and shoulders. It will take you weeks to get them off your dressing gown, but hey, that is your problem! Now move! Thanks to you, we are way behind schedule.

Having had her say, she shoved him away so forcefully, he almost went through the window.

Phew! That was a close shave, thought Robert. With his brow now throbbing from his collision with the glass, he was itching for revenge. However, not being brave enough, he simply muttered his contempt.

Ping! Brain alert! He suddenly remembered that his role in this whole, sorry mess, was to prepare their lookout post, so he had better get to work fast. Revenge could wait for a little longer!

As he’d hoped, the heavy curtains slid smoothly along the overhead rail and the room became a little brighter. However, the net screening was not so obliging. Snared in the coils of the wire fixture, it stubbornly refused to shift. So, rather than take the risk of ripping it and landing in even further trouble, he gestured to the girls to duck between the net and the window. Yet, the problem persisted. Annoyingly, the net got in the way of their every movement. No matter how many times they shrugged it off, it sprung back and clung maddeningly to their heads and clothes.

On any other day, they would have fallen about laughing at the silliness of it all. Today however, their shared sense of humour had deserted them, with good reason. You see, in the past few days, Maureen’s siblings had noticed that her annoying, devil-may-care attitude, had completely deserted her. In their opinion, Maureen was worried, and if she was worried, they must be in more trouble than they had ever thought possible!

The darkest hour is just before the dawn

Chapter 2

By now, it was seven o’clock on the morning of the thirtieth of December. The living room was gloomy, only feebly lit by the street lamp. It was also desperately cold, because the fire grate contained nothing but cold, chalky ashes.

The three Kelly kids were bleary-eyed and clad in pyjamas, slippers, and dressing gowns. They shivered as they patrolled the bay window of number twenty-two Donaldson Crescent.

Although very different in personality, they looked alike. All had short, curly brown hair and olive skin. Slim and athletic, they could run like greyhounds. Maureen was the eldest, Robert was next and Nan was three years younger than Maureen. Robert was tall for his age, being the same height as Maureen. Indeed, these two looked more like twins than Rosie and Sally, who lived next door at number twenty-four. They actually were twins.

The three resembled spectators at a tennis match, as their heads moved from side to side, carefully scanning the street for their first view of the paperboy. They were almost afraid to breathe or blink in case they missed him. Nan was scared of the spooky shadows cast by the ceiling decorations and the damaged Christmas tree. Unable to ignore them, she regularly looked over her shoulder to check for any ghostly goings on, because she firmly believed in evil spirits. Each time the clock on the mantelpiece made its regular whirring sound, she leapt into the air, repeatedly startling Maureen and Robert - as if they weren’t tense enough!

That morning, nobody commented on the soft, plump snowflakes, falling silently onto the pavement. On any normal day, this would have been the cause of great joy for them. In their rush to build a snowman and throw snowballs, they would have gobbled down their cornflakes and thrown on their clothes, at record speed.

Unless the weather was unbearable, they spent most of their waking hours in the fresh air, like most kids in the 1950s. Living on the outskirts of a Scottish seaside town, they had so many wonderful places to roam. Depending on the season, they could cycle in the countryside, run through the woods, swim in the river, or race across the stepping-stones at the ford across the river. Alas, there would be no such entertainment for them today, because today they were on a mission.

Their current dilemma had begun on Boxing Day. Together with the three other members of The Happy Wanderers, they had staged a very successful concert at the Sick Kids Hospital. Afterwards, Muriel Wilson, a journalist for the local newspaper, had requested an interview.

She had asked the six friends to tell her about their individual roles in the charity fete, which they had organised to raise cash for the hospital.

Rosie Dunlop had spoken about designing and painting three posters, to advertise the event. She had also entertained the paying customers by singing, dancing, and playing the mouth organ. Rosie had ambitions to become an entertainer when she grew up. What a talented girl!

Her twin sister Sally, had used their mum’s sewing machine to convert old clothes and unwanted curtains into aprons, and dolls’ clothes. Her stock had sold out in record time, from her makeshift shop in the garden shed. How enterprising!

On two cold evenings, Robert had toured the neighbourhood, asking for donations. Come the actual day, his duties had included collecting the entrance fees and guiding kids to their chosen stalls. What is more, to attract new customers, he had bawled through a cardboard loudhailer. (Unknown to him, it had been a relief to everyone, when he had eventually lost his voice) What an enthusiastic, hard-working boy!

May Dunlop, the twins’ mum, had baked cakes and biscuits, as her contribution. Nan had assisted, by selling them at the kitchen door. So great was the demand, that May had to restock the oven several times over. Great work!

Sandra Sutherland from number twenty, had disguised herself as a fortune-teller, by covering herself in layers of chiffon scarves, the ones which her mother wore over her hair curlers. From a tent in the garden, she had used her talent for impersonation, by mimicking a well-known TV clairvoyant. Her predictions had been very believable. Brilliant!

Now comes the bad news! Without considering the knock-on effect, Maureen had bragged about selling chips from her kitchen. Not so smart! Nan had immediately seen the recklessness of her sister’s admission, and like Sandra, had made an accurate prediction. When their mother read the local newspaper on the thirtieth of December, she would go ballistic!

Maureen had always known the rules about the gas cooker. As the eldest, she was only allowed to cook a light snack, when Mrs Kelly was at work. However, being a rebellious girl, she was determined to make chips to raise cash for the hospital, believing that her mother would never find out.

Afraid of setting the kitchen on fire, Nan had threatened to snitch to their mum, but the older girl had stuck to her guns. She knew how to crush her sister’s resistance. I’m giving you fair warning, Nan. If you tell Mum about the chips, then I will let her know that you are the one who eats most of her birthday cake and Easter egg when she is at work. You know she always blames Robert and you never own up.

Shamed and alarmed, Nan had immediately bowed to Maureen’s wishes. Nan’s weakness for cakes and chocolate was no secret. Indeed, her friends openly took advantage of it, when she disagreed with any of their plans. They knew that she would give in, especially if they bribed her with Mrs Dunlop’s delicious baking.

At the time of the interview, Maureen had convinced herself that she had nothing to fear from the newspaper article. However, she had soon changed her tune after recalling that during December, she and Robert had been in trouble more often than usual. If the newspaper reported her latest exploit, then her mum would definitely go ballistic!

To put it mildly, Maureen and Robert were accident-prone. When their mother was out at work, they regularly broke crockery and damaged furniture and fittings, because they used their home as if it was a sports centre.

Their mum, Susan Kelly, always asked her next-door neighbour May Dunlop, to keep an eye on her kids while she was at work. Unfortunately, that did not amount to much in the way of proper supervision. Having boisterous twin girls of her own and a hectic daily schedule of cleaning, making soup, and baking, May was too busy to watch the Kelly kids’ every move. Although she did her best, it was never good enough. As a result, she was constantly involved in clearing and hiding wreckage, because she felt sorry for them.

During December, Maureen and Robert had indeed caused several disasters. Between them, they had smashed a wall mirror with a golf club, cracked a window with a tennis racket, and put a foot through a plasterboard wall. To top it off, they had almost burnt the house down, when the Christmas decorations had caught fire during a boisterous ball game.

Being thick-skinned, Maureen always laughed-off these incidents. She often blamed Robert and he hardly ever challenged her.

Nan was a worrier and fretted more than anyone, although she was rarely to blame. On the positive side, for someone so young she had an uncanny ability to foresee the hazards in any of The Happy Wanderers’ ideas. They usually scoffed at her advice, but that didn’t deter her. She had appointed herself as the group’s Health and Safety Officer, so they could like it or lump it!

Despite Nan’s warnings, Maureen and Robert still landed in trouble. So far, their mother had always let them off lightly. Due to Maureen’s craftiness, Robert’s amateur attempts at DIY, and Mrs Dunlop’s cover-ups, she had never once known the full facts about any calamity. That said, it would be impossible for any of them to tamper with the evidence in a newspaper story.

Eventually, Maureen realised that she would bear the brunt