Saving a Planet from Itself

By Jim Ore

Science fiction for blokes – that’s what you get. If you’re a bloke and you want action, adventure and the odd joke to liven things up this series is intended to keep you entertained as it follows a group of enhanced humans and aliens through various adventures; nearly all entities are represented as normal people doing reasonably normal things and this artifice allows you to follow extraordinary adventures that have never been described before through dimensions, Time and a couple of galaxies. We start with the real reason for space travel – sex.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C.Bosley Publishing
• Release date: Nov 13, 2014
• ISBN: 9780993086304

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Saving a Planet from Itself

SAVING A PLANET FROM ITSELF

AUTHOR           Jim ORE

Publisher           C.Bosley Publishing

Text copyright © 2014 Chris Bosley, Worcestershire, England,

Contact us -       [e-mail]

Created in Google Docs and converted to Docx format for Kindle 2015-04-12. Sorry, much intended layout and fonts  lost - for best version see Google Book Store edition.

Word count this episode / TTL- 63,090 / 745,750

ISBN No. 978-0-9930863-0-4 - All rights reserved.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Declaration of copyright and reservation of rights  No part of this book shall be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying, recording, or by any information retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher -

Disclaimer - Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book, the publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors and omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of any information contained herein.

WARNING WARNING ! !  The Solaris Saga is written to entertain blokes and is not intended to be read by people such as the female of our species, who after a few pages will go and look for some poor bloke to take their anger out on, or necessary targets like politicians or lawyers or any member of the legal professions who can sue but I ain’t got nothing so they, as the mayor said, can fly off. As for whatever evil creature’s are in those money grubbing, evil, ruining bloody vans, well let’s hope my occasional references to this blight on society upset them nearly as much as the b*stards upset However -

Moving on -.

Acknowledgements       The great heroes, the colossuses that stride upon this bedevilled planet and strive to make it better, that have been my inspiration and may be identifiable by my oblique references to their spectacular deeds or golden words. They have my sincere gratitude and respect which I hope this saga makes plain, 

thanks lads - Jim

ALSO IN THIS SERIES

Table of Contents

Chapter 31 – Compromise

Act 1 - You Can’t Play with My Toy

Act 2 – Space Yacht Cabby Out

Act 3 – Predator and Lure

Act 4 - The Supermarket Check-out Test

Act 5 – The Sector of the Superiors

Act 6 - My Special Power is Arrogance

Act 7 – Nice Quiet Research

Act 8 – Traffic Observation

Act 9 – Buying a Car and Making a Handsome Profit

Act 10 – Another Day, Another Dollar,

Act 11 – Joe the Glow

Act 12 – The Hero and the Robots

Act 12.5 – Looking After No.1

Act 14 – The Cost of Playing Submarines

Act 15 – Going Off Backwards

Act 16 - Detective Work

Act 17 – Sammy, Priyah and the Gunrunner

Act 18 – Having a Chat With the Client About His Bill

Act 19 – Presenting the Final Account

Act 20 – Will the Punter Pay?

Act 21 – Home James and Don’t Spare the Tritium3

A quick Word From Your Writers

the SOLARIS SAGA so far

Welcome back Boss ! Reg and the Boys here again, thanks for looking at Ep 8 of the saga we’re compiling for our present employer Master of the Galaxy Solaris. You remember he hired us, Reg and the Melrose & Vine Writer Boys, to compile the records and history of his Crew that go round rescuing worlds and things?

Obviously it’d be better if you read the previous seven Eps but just in case you can’t get hold of them here’s a quick rundown of where we’ve got to so far.

The Boss has built up a Crew around his Grandsons to go round rescuing planets, mainly by stopping them blowing themselves up, and fortunately the Crew were on hand when the Dark Galaxy expedition turned up and is needed to help them find some way of stopping a collision between their galaxy and ours.

There are four females who form the nucleus of the squad; two are enhanced Mud-dwellers, Eleanor Cropthorne, a talented doctor and research biologist in her early twenties and Ruth Winkle, similarly tall and red headed, in her not so early twenties at all. There is a world computer become sentient who models herself on Elly and, as calling her Eleanor Two was a bit of a handful, she has come to be called Rusty, and an alien accretion particle creature from the outer void who assembles herself from space dust has been named Dusty.

Rust&Dust have bonded to form a Synergy, an entity of super powers existing across several dimensions and to their great joy the expedition from the Dark Galaxy brought a male Synergy which has bonded to Rust&Dust to make them far more powerful and capable; for some reason they all worship Ruth and will do anything for her.

On a more mundane level Captain Sergio Leaf, an uber-competent warrior, worships Ruth as well.

His brother, Lieutenant Barry Brain, does not have a girlfriend. Barry is keen to make films and in the first rush of enthusiasm negotiated with every likely possible starlet who was interested in getting a leading part and is now in rather a difficult position.

The expedition’s Star cruiser was offered to the crew with huge benefits but one awful draw-back which has brought matters juddering to a halt - the Queen of the Dark Galaxy was brought in stasis and when she was revived she turned out to be the most obnoxious, difficult, teenage girl you’ve ever meet and gave the Crew some real problems, and just as Olly thinks he’s pulling things together when his first live, genuine, paying customer turns up the nasty criminal the Queen has taken up with stages an embarrassing takeover attempt, and the Crew have to go off and do the Customer’s job and leave sorting out the Queen till later when someone, anyone, finally works out what to do about the little cow.

We’re sure you’ll soon pick up the thread, blokes who read good SF aren’t daft, but there is one problem that we couldn’t get over and have to ask you to bear in mind - Aliens are different from us ! But its not just the way they speak or the clothes they wear or how many arms they’ve got, if they’re from a different dimension with a different take on space, Time and existence we’d spend a whole episode trying to explain if one walked into the room - so every entity is described as the nearest approximation to us lot, normal Mud-dwellers doing normal sorts of things.

OK? Got it? Great Boss !  Thanks for your interest !  Read on and have fun,

Cheers, Reg and the M&V Boys.

Chapter 31 – Compromise

Act 1 - You Can’t Play with My Toy

The Captain was standing with an expression on his face like fourpence drowning in vinegar.

All Cyril’s segments were nodding vigorously, his hooves droning on the floor as he circled the Captain at high speed and Boris was leaning over the blur and screaming over and over –

‘NO! NO! NO! This Starcruiser doesn’t move until the Queen says so, release her, release her, now - stop it - whatever you’re doing. You are harming our Queen ! This can only mean war between our Galaxies !’

The Synergy even thought that Dusty ought to go round to calm everybody down without being asked but she didn’t want to get in the middle of this sort of strange scene and they waited for Ruth to tell them what to do, as usual.

Fortunately for everyone because Sergio might just decide to sort everything out whether it pleased or offended Master of the Galaxy Solaris strode in from the lifts, went up to Rust&Dust and gave the Synergy a list of instructions, then, hoping he looked properly masterful as a Master of the Galaxy should, our Olly barked ‘STOP PLEASE !’.

Magically the shouting and screaming stopped; Boris grabbed poor Cyril and held him still.

‘Right, now then - Boris, Cyril? Do you understand your Queen is perfectly safe and perfectly ah, happy? My Synergy have put her in her stateroom where she will be perfectly safe and comfortable, we’ll all sleep on it and tomorrow we’ll be a bit further down the arm, can spend a bit of Time on an interesting world that’s waiting for us to sort it out and has already paid a nice little deposit up front; then someone will figure out how to make your Queen sensible again  - OK lads?’’

‘NO ! NO !’ Boris was close to tears as he shouted. ‘You don’t understand ! We have to do what she orders. I have - we have, to explain to her the best things to do and she represents our galaxy, she is our galaxy, the proper Queen of our Galaxy, she has to give her assent to everything on this mission. I can’t explain anything to her if you’re going to lock her up. You can’t lock a Queen up ! You just can’t do this !’

Cyril was nodding in agreement and shivering frantically. He pulled away from Boris and there was a distinct drone from his horny feet clattering on the deck as he ran round in his circles of agitation making Sergio and everyone dizzy; he was the Queen’s bodyguard and had protect her, with his life if necessary, but the poor bugger didn’t know what to do.

‘Cyril, Boris?’ Solaris tried again. ‘What - stop it Cyril for God’s sake - what do you think will happen if we release her now, eh, Boris, mate? What? She’ll just get some of those guns and start shooting anyone she comes across, she very nearly made this b*astard thing squash all the Mud-dwellers flat didn’t she? How do you think that will look when it gets back to her Mother, eh? And, you’ll have to forgive me for saying this Boris, but the stupid cow would have flattened herself at the same Time and how do you think that would look in your report? Except you’d have difficulty holding the pen when you were also part of the goop on the back wall, eh mate? Come on Boris, just give my Crew some Time, they’ll work out what to do. They’ve just saved her life because the git was about to cut her throat – and yours ! If she’d pressed the emergency manoeuvre button your mission would have been ruined, everything !  Let’s all have a nice cup of tea and a slice of ‘Bloody Hell That Was Close’ celebration cake and calm down; it’ll be alright, you’ll see, I’ll dump this Slime character back on his own world and we’ll leave him to it and you can all get going on this job which may be an earner if we’re lucky! Did I mention the punter’s already fronted a nice little deposit? How’s that mate? In fact let’s go down the pub and have a swift half - that’d be better than bloody tea. Eleanor? Will you take Cyril somewhere nice and quiet?’

why everything

has to be such a struggle

I do not bleedin’ know

I think I looked rather masterful

at least everything’s sorted out now

I’ll go and get the customer

and get ready

to wave everyone

goodbye . . . The Master thought.

‘Solaris?’ Ruth strode majestically over, ‘we can’t get rid of him. Honestly, we can’t ! -

bollocks

I simply

do not

beeleeve this . . . Thought Mr Masterful of the Galaxy.

- As I see it we’ll have to recreate this scene then switch off the stasis gun so they don’t notice what happened, and then do something that will make the Queen turn against him. If she turns round and he’s just disappeared, she’ll accuse us of getting rid of him, which we will have  won’t we? And even you can see that’s going to make her worse; you know what teenage girls are like. That will be really unfair to her, surely you can see that, and there’s no way of predicting how bad she’ll go if you do that to her; honestly she’ll go bloody mental !’

well you might know Mud-dwellers

better than I do

but that’s not gonna calm

bolshie Boris down

I didn’t think the kid

was doing the right thing

taking up with this Mud-dweller

but crikey

she’s a cracker . . . He also thought with another mind.

However Boris had had a moment to think the situation over and started trying to make the best of what he had to work with.

‘I don’t know about this,’ he said, ‘I still think you’re being disrespectful to our Queen on top of everything else; you stay right where you are Cyril - Cyril ! Stay ! Can you please stand bloody still for a single bloody second.’

I can do this

I know I can

why is everything such a struggle . . . Olly wondered.

He tried again. ‘Come on Boris mate ! She’ll be safe and comfy, Cyril can get this crate going and then Eleanor will be nice to him, by the Time they’ve got their horticultural research lab going and dug the first few rows of spuds he’ll happy as a pig in clover. Best not to make too much of these little glitches; least said soonest mended, etc., etc..’ He begged, as most of his brains began to panic over the big new customer seeing what a shambles the Crew were making and asking for his money back.

’No! No! Cy can’t move the b*stard thing, he has to have her orders for that, it’s not his spaceship, it’s not mine, it’s not yours - it’s HERS. You know that, we’ve discussed this already !’ Insisted Boris whose bruised arse was most definitely in a very big sling.

‘There must be a way around this Boris.’ Said Solaris thinking that he was a Master of the Galaxy for God’s sake, with all these powers, and he was still  having a bloody argument with some dink over who pressed one single, sodding button.

‘There isn’t a way round this, I keep saying Solaris - we obey the orders of the Queen, that’s our mission, we can’t just become pirates taking anything and doing anything we want, we’d be the same as that Slime creature !’

‘So what in hell’s name do we bleedin’ do then Boris?’ Said Olly in desperation.

‘Hang on a tick Boss, I think I’ve got an idea.’ Said Ruth.

please, please . . . Thought Sergio.

please, please . . . Thought Olly.

please, please . . . So did every other bugger standing round panicking.

She collared the Synergy.

. . . could your lads make another spaceship please? I’ve seen them build things quickly . . . She asked. actually Ruth . . .  Said Rusty. we‘ve got another spaceship already made and ready to go . . . Said Rusty. because our lads were playing around when we were doing those space yachts . . . Said Dusty. and they made a copy . . . Said Rusty. so there’s a complete spare one in a transport hold . . .   Said Dusty. that will probably save a whole day and the mission can leave straight away with the Boss’ new customer . . . Said Rusty. was that what Sally was on about when we saw her just now? Did Solaris sign him up? . . Asked Ruth. yes, the whole office is very excited at the way Solaris is bringing in customers and income . . . Said Dusty. But he is very worried about keeping the customer waiting . . . Said Rusty. right, hang on a tick . . .  Said Ruth.

She returned her attention back to the Control room, grabbed Sergio’s arm and hurriedly explained her idea to him and the various war parties standing round quivering in fright.

‘There’s an alternative spaceship we can use as transport around here somewhere, like a motorcycle on the back of a motorhome,’ said the Queen of Sergio’s heart, ‘why don’t we take that and go and do this job? I can assure you all that tomorrow this is all going to look very different and by then I’ll have thought of something to make the Queen happy, don’t worry !’

For a tough, expressionless bloke you could see the relief crossing Sergio’s face and you could see Granddad feeling his load lighten too.

Everyone looked at Boris and Cyril.

‘So the THE_BAstard_Thing can stay right where it is?’ Asked Boris slowly.

‘Yeah, no rules broken Boris, stays right where it is, sound as a pound.’

‘And the Queen will be perfectly safe and unchanged till you sort out what you’re going to do about your criminal?’

yeah, ok Boris,

don’t bloody make it easy

will you . . . Thought Olly.

‘Yep, don’t worry about a thing Boris mate, Ruth and Sergio will sort everything out - come on Boris what do you think, eh? We’ve got another ship to use already; this one can stay right where it is, won’t have to move a millimetre, and none of your directives will be broken; the Queen will be as safe as houses because Eleanor and Cyril will stay here looking after everything – Alright Eleanor? Cyril? She’ll be safe and sound with no Time passing for her so she doesn’t have to be asked anything and we’ll get going and start being productive for a change. This way the mission makes a start, you’ll know the Queen is safe Boris, and Ruth’ll soon work out what to do about a teenage girl taking up with an unsuitable bloke and I’m sure it will all come right in the end.’

oh  that’s good

I can make some progress with my experiments

I can’t believe how wonderful it will be

to get some peace and quiet . . . Thought Eleanor.

She smiled and nodded happily at Cyril.

oh

that is good

peace and quiet with my friend . . . Thought Cyril.

His mandibles calmed down from their frantic waving.

‘I think the THE_BAstard_Thing’s Crew should stay as well and keep watch to make things proper and look better in the ship’s log,’ said Boris grabbing at this opportunity to smooth