Help I'm a New Mommy

By Deborah-Leigh Hambides

Nothing in my life could have prepared me for the journey into motherhood. There is a dramatic shift in your reality when you are no longer simply somebody's daughter or sister. It was five years ago that I began "mommy training".

I cannot tell you my training is over, no, my daughter is still teaching me things about herself, myself, life and God and I have a sense we are far from done with the "apprenticeship". If you are a "mommy in training" then you have an idea of what I am talking about. It is for you that I am writing this book. I have chosen to share my high's, low's, glories and failures on my journey so far.

I hope you are able to draw strength, hope, guidance and encouragement as you read about my journey so far.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Nov 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781312659902

Book preview

Help I'm a New Mommy

Help I’m a New Mommy

Written by Deborah-Leigh Hambides

For my daughter Madison, whom I love dearly.

Acknowledgements:

I would like to say thank you to the following people, without whose backing and input this book wouldn’t have happened.

Spyros, your support, especially since June 2014 has given new life to Madison and I.  The financial and emotional support has been overwhelming.  For the encouragement shown when I first told you of my idea to write a book and the editing you provided.  We love you very much!

Tanya, Dad + Ma, Mom + Uncle Colin, Jo-ann + Rudi and Kevin + Marion – thank you all for the help you have given to us.  We would have been homeless without you, all living out of Spyros’ car   Your love has sustained us.  We miss you all lots!!

Samantha + G + Baby Brandon Faasen, thank you for being true friends.  It has meant the world to me that you keep in touch even though we moved away.

Jax + Brett + Khiara + Tatum Meier, thank you for being amazing friends.  Your support has sustained us and your friendship has kept us smiling.  Thank you for letting me use your idea as my own Jax!

Kevin Swanepoel, you have supported me in ways that I cannot even begin to describe or thank you for.  You are wonderful!!

For the support shown by all who bought my book.

To the people who I gleaned advice from over the years and incorporated into this book. 

Sorry for not mentioning everyone by name, but you know who you are and how much I appreciate you.

Thank you, thank you and thank you!!

Introduction:

I am a 36 year old single mother of a beautiful 5 year old daughter.  It has been a sometimes bumpy road and at other times a complete joy.  Only a child can make you love them with all your being one minute and then want to strangle them the next!  As a parent I believe it’s our job to teach our kids all the necessary tools to be independent, confident, well balanced and socially productive human beings but it’s hard to sometimes let go and let them fly. 

At times I have felt like a failure and a terrible mom but then I look at my wonderful child and realise that I can’t be all bad if I managed to produce such a great child.  Yes, they have their own personalities, but you do help to shape them into the adults they will become.

This is just collection of a few things I have learnt over the years.  Things friends, family and my daughter have suggested in order to help make life a bit easier.  Some of these ideas I just worked out for myself…

These are just my own observations and opinions and ideas.  I am no expert, just another first time parent trying to do my best.  All I can offer is my own experiences and hope that they help you relieve some of the stress and frustration that go into raising a child.

Just remember that this is going to be your whole world, everything will revolve around your child until they are at least 18 years old.  You are giving up your current life style and forging a new one to include your child.  The new born to teen age years are possibly the hardest as they want your constant attention and affection and time.  At least teenagers sleep late on weekends!!

As you grow with your child you will find your way together and hopefully remain friends through the interesting teen years ahead…

Chapter 1: Pregnancy & New-borns

As soon as your pregnancy begins to show, expect everyone you know and also perfect strangers to offer you advice.  Even people who don’t have children will give you advice on how to raise your child.  For some reason, everyone wants to regale the pregnant lady with horror stories of bad pregnancies and terrible births.  DON’T LISTEN TO THEM!  I had an easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, no cravings, no disruption to my sleep, etc.  I went full term and gave natural birth on my due date without any glitches.  There was pain during labour but I used gas (do not know which one) to get through the worst of it (I chose not to go with an epidural as I wanted to fully experience the birth) but it had worn off by the time I had to push so I was alert and present for the actual birthing process.  The gas didn’t knock me out; it just took the edge off the labour pains as I was in charge of when I took a breath from the mask.  I was fully aware and could talk to my mom who was with me during the birth.  My daughter popped out, I tore a little bit but they stitched me up quickly and painlessly.  I’m not saying that your pregnancy will be this easy but don’t expect it to be the most traumatic and painful experience of your life either.  Do what works for you during your pregnancy.  Your baby will let you know if you’re eating the wrong thing or if you should eat more of something else (obviously don’t eat things that can cause harm to your unborn baby, sushi, soft cheeses, etc.).  Check with your doctor if you are unsure.

Don’t read every single baby book out there giving advice on pregnancy, birthing, raising your child, etc.  Find one book that you relate to the most and use it as a guideline.  Too much different information will confuse you and leave you feeling a bit unsure of yourself.  Listen to your own experience, your baby’s input and general common sense and you will do well.

Do yourself a favour and