My Diary from 1949

By Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė

In March 1949, Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė's family were among the unfortunate ones who were exiled from Lithuania to the remote settlements of the Soviet Union. Her diary depicts the journey from their beloved homeland to an unfamiliar place in Eastern Siberia through the eyes of an 11-year-old girl. She writes about the horrifying journey on trains used for cattle. These trains did not have any windows. The conditions were gruesome and beyond unsanitary. They were often deprived of food and water for days at a time. Danguolė portrays their journey with lots of emotions: happiness was replaced by fear, joy was replaced by sadness, and hope was replaced by despair. She continued writing her diary for a year, describing events, her feelings, and the life of people in Eastern Siberia. The epilogue is a short summation of the events from the ten years Danguolė spent in Siberia (names, places, and events are authentic).

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Aug 31, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645366546

Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė

Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė is a celebrated artist in Lithuania now, but her life's journey was not easy. With her family, she was exiled to East Siberia by the Soviet regime in 1949. Danguolė spent her childhood and teenage years in the remote settlements of Russia. By 1958, her family had been released from exile in Siberia, but it was not until 1960 that Danguolė returned to Lithuania, having graduated from the Institute of Foreign Languages in Irkutsk.

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About the Author

Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė is a celebrated artist in Lithuania now, but her life’s journey was not easy. With her family, she was exiled to East Siberia by the Soviet regime in 1949. Danguolė spent her childhood and teenage years in the remote settlements of Russia. By 1958, her family had been released from exile in Siberia, but it was not until 1960 that Danguolė returned to Lithuania, having graduated from the Institute of Foreign Languages in Irkutsk.

Dedication

To my dearest daughters Dalia and Vida

Copyright Information ©

Danguolė Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė (2020)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.

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Austin Macauley is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the author’s alone and portrayed to the best of their recollection. In some cases, names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

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Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data

Rudokaitė-Raudonikienė, Danguolė

My Diary from 1949

ISBN 9781641829687 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781641829694 (Hardback)

ISBN 9781645366546 (ePub e-book)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019908477

www.austinmacauley.com/us

First Published (2020)

Austin Macauley Publishers LLC

40 Wall Street, 28th Floor

New York, NY 10005

USA

[e-mail]

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Acknowledgments

I would like to extend a special thanks to Marius With for his integral role in the editing of my book.

The Road to Eastern Siberia

It was an early spring day in 1949. My brothers and I were in middle school, in our small town of Rokiskis. Each of us was eagerly waiting for the bell to dismiss us. All I could think about was coming home to finally relax. At last, the bell rang, its glorious chime marking the beginning of Spring break. After saying goodbye to my friends and wishing them a good break, I ran home as fast as I could. Although our house was close, I couldn’t get there fast enough, as thoughts of my waiting daddy filled my mind.

When I came home, I was disappointed that my daddy still hadn’t arrived. For my brothers and I lived in a rented room near school, whilst my sister and my parents lived in our house 20 kilometers away, and every break we would go back. My brothers got ready to go to school because they only started at two in the afternoon, and by then I was already done for the day. We had lunch together. Still no sign of Daddy. Vinciukas and Stasiukas left for school, and I stayed in the room waiting for Daddy to come to take my brothers and myself home after they were done at school. I hadn’t done any homework. My mind revolved solely around my daddy. It was already sunset, but Daddy was nowhere to be found. My brothers, Vinciukas and Stasiukas, came back home, still no Daddy. I greeted them and told them that Daddy had not come home yet. They didn’t believe me and ran into the room. But it was dark and silent there, eerie in fact, bereft of the strong presence of my daddy. My brothers quickly began to worry, dreading the horror that anything might have happened to him. It was dinner time and still there was no sign of him. As we ate in silence, any attempt at conversation felt stilted. Silently, I said a prayer for him. After dinner, we sat in our small room. The dimly lit room emulated the grim atmosphere. Then, all of a sudden, the horse neighed in the yard. A loud and distinct noise. We all rushed out of the room to see who had come, hoping it was Daddy. Right away, we recognized our beloved horse ‘Zaibas’ (Lightning) anticipating to see the silhouette of Daddy, and sure enough, there he was, sitting in the sleigh. We ran out to greet him, and hurried to ask what had taken him so long. Daddy told us that on the day before, Mommy had been arrested. But, thank God, she was freed the following day. Daddy told us that the Soviet soldiers had searched the house looking for Lithuanian partisans—armed anti-Soviet resistance soldiers—but of course we weren’t hiding any, so instead they had arrested Mommy. I could feel that things were getting tense. Even after Mommy was freed the soldiers would routinely come and search the house.

My two brothers, Vincentas and Stanyslovas and our father standing by the cart with our things before sending us off to live alone and go to school

It was really late, and after the horse was mounted, all of us went inside and told Daddy that our teacher, Ms. Slektaite, had asked him to come to school. He decided to postpone the meeting until the next morning since it was already so late. Daddy had dinner and we got ready for bed. He told us that there were rumors of possible arrests and exiles, either on the night of March 24th or 25th. Nonetheless, my brothers and my daddy fell asleep rather quickly, whereas I couldn’t. The moon was shining high in the sky. Its light penetrated through the branches of the trees and illuminated everything on the barren ground. Its light lit up every tiny corner of the room. I kept thinking about the typical horror stories of exile. We all knew them by now. Rumors had been circling through the towns for the last few weeks, and the brutal images were quickly ingrained in my head. Children being snatched from their parents’ arms, houses burned down, animals slaughtered—all so Lithuanians could be exiled to Siberia. I prayed that my worst fear wouldn’t become reality. Then my thoughts wandered to my dear-to-heart home, about my little sister, Liudgardyte, and whether she was sleeping or not. What about my mommy? Though it was midnight, I wasn’t sleepy. In a mere few hours, the roosters would be awakening the world. Eventually, I wondered into a mysterious dreamy land that allowed me to forget my worries, even if it was just for the night.

I woke up with the glimmer of the day’s first sunrays, gleaming through my window. My brothers were getting ready to go home for the break, and Daddy went to talk to Ms. Slektaite. When he returned, I