Skin Hunger: Guide to the Language of Touch

By Mariana M. Brosnan

You have skin hunger. You have not had a hug in weeks. You live alone or in a crowded house where everyone is too busy. No one has time for a coffee and a talk. Each touch from our in utero experience till today is recorded in the cells of our body and interpreted as emotions. The pleasurable touches measure love and acceptance while the negative implies apathy or rejection.
Throughout our lifetime your skin has been waiting to soak up the good experiences of hugs, affirmative touches on the shoulder and a good massage. In return your immune system will be boosted, you will feel empathy, reduce body pains, have emotional satisfaction, your spirit will be recharged, longevity will be realized and your wallet gets fatter. Touch is your best defense against loneliness and depression and illness. You need more touch and you will learn why and how to add this loving contact in your life and feel your spirits lift.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mariana M. Brosnan
• Release date: Sep 22, 2020
• ISBN: 9781735790701

Mariana M. Brosnan

Mariana M. Brosnan grew up in a car between small town Alaska and Costa Rica. She was her family's mediator, looking at motivation and actions of her family. This interest drew her to get a degree in psychology and sociology to find ways to help people live healthier lives.She believes that everyone can have a more grounded, healed life with more connection to God, yourself and others.

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SKIN HUNGER

Guide to the Language

of Touch

Mariana M. Brosnan

Copyright © 2020 by Mariana M. Brosnan

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to another person. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for you use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover Photo Russell Chauncey

Cover Design Judith Lye

Published by Mariana M. Brosnan at Smashwords

Discover other titles by Mariana M. Brosnan at Smashwords.com https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Marissacr27

Dedicated to Lani & Isla

The two most beautiful girls in the world

May your lives be filled with love and hugs

Introduction

In the early 1900s very ill children, some with undiagnosed diseases, were admitted into the hospital. Some doctors would examine these frail little ones and write ‘hopeless’ on their admissions chart. The sick children were given proper nutrition and medical assistance but wasted away and 100% of them died.

Boston physician Fritz Talbot toured a Germany hospital to see the children’s ward. He saw an older lady, he thought was a nurse, carrying around a child. He inquired who she was and was told her name was Old Anna. He found out that when the children were beyond any medical intervention, their care would be handed over to Anna. Her loving touch and attention did something that good care did not. The doctor said Anna was always successful to care for those in her care to full health. Talbot brought this loving touch back and was able to start saving children in American hospitals. (iluv2prshim, 2007)

We have an innate sense that life not only be filled with all the practical things but that we will have a feeling of emptiness unless we are truly know, accepted and loved. Then we have become fully alive.

We humans desire deep connections to one another. This wonderful feeling is expressed as electricity passes from one heart to another by a simple touch.

It’s time to hit mute on the depressing news, turn off your IG alerts, put down your next cup of coffee, hit pause on life for a few minutes and really feel your own heart. We can listen and discover that our emotions can be known and understood by us and that we can know and understand others.

This all starts with the simple act of reaching out of our own bubble and breaking gently into another’s parameter. Let’s create space to truly look into the face and see the heart of those on this earth’s journey. The most important thing begins with love, being loved and loving others.

We can move beyond our personal Skin Hunger to meet the needs of our family and friends and people we interact with. We will create in all of us balanced emotions, activated spirit, healthy body and see financial gains. I encourage you to start from where you are today and begin to acknowledge yourself and those around you. Be a catalyst for positive change and bring more connection to the world.

Portions of this book are works of nonfiction that are my memory from my perspective. Certain names and identifying characteristics have been changed.

ATTENTION: Several people proof this book before you received it but you may be super-sensitive to typos or other obvious mistakes. And if you’re the first one to tell us, then we’ll send you a free gift! mailto:[e-mail]

Table of Contents

Introduction

Preface

Section One: What Is Skin Hunger?

Chapter 1: I Need A Hug

Chapter 2: What Is Blocking Us From Getting Touch?

Chapter 3: Symptoms of Lack of Positive Touch

Chapter 4: Analytical Dimensions of Touch

Chapter 5: Influence Individual Need

Chapter 6: Memory and Interpretation

Chapter 7: Historical and Clinical Touch

Chapter 8: Remarkable Stories of Positive Touch

Section Two: Guide to Solving the Skin Hunger Crisis

Chapter 9: Be Ready For Contact

Chapter 10: Guide To A Lifetime Of Good Touch

Chapter 11: Support others recovering from skin hunger or abuse

Chapter 12: Community Resources

Chapter 13: Extreme Skin Hunger

Chapter 14: Therapy For Neglect Or Abuse

Chapter 15: Hope For A Normal Life

Chapter 16: Where Do We Go From Here

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Preface

Growing up in a bicultural and bilingual family who lived in Alaska and Costa Rica and sometimes in-between, meant adapting my preferences of hugs and social space to adapt to other preference’s as well. My Costa Rican born mother and my Irish American father were both physically affectionate to their children. Frequent intense back-rubs, warm hugs and gentle kisses from them expressed their feelings. My primary love language is physical touch and I am highly sensitive to this lovely contact.

Life in small-town Alaska where fierce independence and personal freedom are valued. Individualism and distinction are expressed by people building their home with wood from their own property into unusual log cabin. Ample social space is normal and less physical interaction is displayed. My best friend would give me a warm hug upon my return from a long absence. Beyond that we did not exchange much physical affection. A cursory big hug hello and goodbye was the norm with my father’s extended family. More importance was put on the ability to relate ideas and experiences, alongside a big bowl of ice cream that always seemed to waiting for us, regardless of our infrequent appearances.

By contrast upon my arrival in Costa Rica, I would be mobbed with affection and close social space. My whole family of six would stay in one room together in the house of one of my aunts for months on end. All my extended family cousins, grandparents and aunts and uncles converse with meaning expressed through interactive touches on the hand, arm, leg and shoulder. Normally, I could not walk through a room without someone patting my head or giving me a hug or sometimes my aunt giving me a playful kick on the behind. As I moved back and forth between my two cultures, I had to adjust my spatial distance to socially conform to how, when, and where displays of affection were given.

When we would return to the U.S. , I was left with the feeling that I could be more natural and enjoy the closeness in the Latin world. I would recalibrate to consciously follow appropriate societal rules. I would missed the warm interactions and feelings of love that I felt matched my needs.

As a long-term traveler I have continued to observe, interview and discuss the touch needs of others. The lack of touch I encountered in every country and culture led me to start writing this book nearly eight years ago.

The arrival of Covid has created an environment where people fear any in-person interactions and have further detached from extended family and friends. Difficulties in the relationship continuum, the increase in social media as a substitute for in the flesh relationships and the online facade of a projected perfect life have left many people feeling isolated. More than ever humans need to intentionally connect and show support for each other.

All these events have prompted me to release this work. I believe this offering will give you quick tools to start bringing affirmative contact back into your real life. I hope you enjoy the anecdotal stories and scientific background affirming the positive touch and the effects on the body, soul, mind and spirit.

Section One: What Is Skin Hunger?

Chapter 1: I Need A Hug

Henry and his wife Mel had been married for 50 years. He had always wanted more touch with her. She had brushed off his need as a precursor to intimacy. Mel had gotten rheumatoid arthritis and Henry volunteered to give her massage to help with the pain. They were both surprised at how the touch helped reduce her pain and his desire for more affection. The effect was not just physical but caused growing intimacy in their emotional relationship and they became better partners. (June 21, 2016, Personal interview, in-person meeting)

Skin hunger is caused when there is a gap between the desire and need for more skin-to-skin touch than a person receives. Each person may be getting touch in their life, but the deficiency is based on their own feeling. Touch is simultaneously given and received in an intimate physical expression between people. Contact positively reinforces identity, giving the foundation to grow into a complete human.

Humans have an innate, God-given, natural desire to be nurtured by loving touch. It is hard-wired in the biology of humans and impacts the view an individual has of themselves. This basic need extends from the pre-birth state until death, for the life span. Affirming skin-to-skin touch is the soothing experience of massage, hugs, hair being stroked, face being caressed, holding hands, kissing, and embrace.

The human body is an amazing creation. In one square inch of skin, there is 234 feet of nerves, 19,500 sensory cells, (end of nerve fibers), 1,300 nerve endings to record pain, 78 yards of nerves and 13 cold and 78 heat receptors. In an average adult, skin measures 21 square feet (2 meters squared). The millions of skin receptors receive and transmit electronic data to be collected and categorized. Each touch is discerned as either pleasant, enjoyable, and repeatable or as rough, undesired, and to be avoided. These receptors analyze the touch and log it as an affirmation or rejection of their identity. (Montagu, 1971)The body captures the experiences that can bring satisfaction and connect the soul.

The effects of people feeling disconnected is a too-common theme around the world. I have traveled the world for eight years and have been recording conversations with travelers. Most people reported that they might accidentally touch another human, but it