First Time Again

By BlackMoon Lilith

NANCY SILVERS had felt the need for a get-away for months. Her disillusioned heart needed to gain clarity on what she really wanted the rest of her life to look like. She just couldn’t decide where to go. Then, remembering how bold and confident she had been in that summer 45 years ago when her future was all in front of her, all the good memories of Estes Park began to bubble up to consciousness. It would be the perfect place for having enough distance from Sacramento, and from Charlie, to finally make the decision on what to do about her marriage.
Planning to return to a place she had always thought of as special warmed her heart, and not the least because of a memorable relationship there with Vic the rancher’s son. She had never forgotten that night with him under a lone, wind-bent pine tree in the pasture out on Deer Lick Road where she had her first sexual experience. That was back before college when life seemed less complicated. Before she had embarked on a career she loved, when she had been hopeful about marriage. Way back before her optimism had turned into realization that the gulf between herself and Charlie was only growing wider.

First Time Again is a love story for mature readers who wish they could recapture and re-cultivate a first love. It features an empowered woman and enlightened man dealing with making decisions about relationships and next life chapters, along with an irresistible, explicit, rekindling of their long ago passion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Liminal Realities
• Release date: Sep 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781005267025

BlackMoon Lilith

BlackMoon Lilith is an aging feminist, zaftig hippie chick whose inner-conflict busting agenda is to rescue the sacred slut from the pearl-clutching inhibitions of the repressed good girl. She writes sensually explicit romances for self-empowered women of the silver set who have earned their wisdom in heartbreaking relationships, have an earthy sense of humor, and an adventurous spirit. Her stories all have seeds of truth nurtured into maturity with of magickal magnetic attraction.

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First Time Again

By BlackMoon Lilith

Published by Liminal Realities at Smashwords

Copyright 2020 BlackMoon Lilith. All rights reserved. No part of this short story may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review. For permission, email [e-mail] This story is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living in corporeal form in the here and now or in an alternate Universe, dimension, or lifetime, or to businesses currently operating or no longer open, exist mostly in the author’s mind and should not be construed as inhabiting consensual reality.

Smashwords Edition

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This publication is licensed for your own consciousness raising and personal enjoyment only. It may not be re-sold or shared with other readers for any purpose or intention. This restriction contributes to an accurate accounting of readership. To support author BlackMoon Lilith, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your understanding.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Rancher’s Son

Chapter 2: The Good Girl and the Sacred Slut

Chapter 3: Glen Haven

Chapter 4: Unexpected

Chapter 5: Decisions

Chapter 6: Rehab

Chapter 7: Blue Skying

Chapter 8: Wrinkles

Chapter 9: Sudden Insight

Chapter 10: First Time Again

About the Author

Genre Disclaimer

Other Publications from Liminal Realities

Excerpt from BlackMoon Lilith’s Coming Novella

Chapter 1: The Rancher’s Son

NANCY SILVERS had felt the need for a get-away for months. Her disillusioned heart needed to gain clarity on what she really wanted the rest of her life to look like. She just couldn’t decide where to go. Then, remembering how bold and confident she had been in that summer 45 years ago when her future was all in front of her, all the good memories of Estes Park began to bubble up to consciousness. It would be the perfect place for having enough distance from Sacramento, and from Charlie, to finally make the decision on what to do about her marriage.

Planning to return to a place she had always thought of as special warmed her heart, and not the least because of a memorable relationship there with Vic the rancher’s son. She had never forgotten that night with him under a lone, wind-bent pine tree in the pasture out on Deer Lick Road where she had her first sexual experience. That was back before college when life seemed less complicated. Before she had embarked on a career she loved, when she had been hopeful about marriage. Way back before her optimism had turned into realization that the gulf between herself and Charlie was only growing wider.

There was something exhilarating about the drive up from Longmont through the forest that gave a Brigadoon quality to her arrival, creating a sense of peace paired with an underlay of excitement. Driving through town to the Bear Ridge Lodge resort, much still looked the same, but time had brought an abundance of dreadful development, she thought. Despite the changes, she found the village and its quirks familiar for one who was otherwise a flatlander from California farm country. Estes had been her coming of age town. Her first job was here. It was the first place several older guys already in college had ever flirted with her high school self. Best of all, it was where her first honest to goodness love affair had begun.

That affair with Vic Mainard had lasted through her first year of college in Denver and the summer after, before life took both of them in different directions. Nancy was particularly regretting that fact now that her second marriage could be called the union of the living dead. Not once in the 27 year relationship with Charlie had she been able to get her spouse to vacation with her, much less to Estes Park. Charlie Isaacs had no affinity for outdoor activities. He didn’t fish, snow ski, or hunt, and the village Nancy loved so much had no major league sports teams nor flashy casinos to hold his interest. He’d much rather vacation in Tahoe, on the Nevada side. He couldn’t see the point in hiking up to pristine mountain lakes, nor nourishing his soul by gazing at the Mummy Range. Nancy found that lack of connection to nature appalling in anyone, and it was incomprehensible in a spouse. Worse, he had no curiosity about the human interest stories and social policy investigations that had driven her professional life as a journalist, and she abhorred the state and national politics he was increasingly involved with. Now with Charlie talking about moving to a heat-stroke city like Phoenix where he wanted to open his own accounting firm, Nancy’s doubts about the virtue of remaining married were growing.

She’d been deeply unhappy in the relationship for at least 10 years, a situation that Charlie seemed not to even notice as long as she showed up at his office parties, or played the good hostess when he announced his buddies would be coming over for beer and barbeque throughout game seasons. When she suggested a trial separation a year ago, he had practically snarled at the idea, saying, Well, that’s great. What am I supposed to tell the guys? You’ll make me look like a fool.

I don’t really care, Nancy had thought, that’s not my doing, although she didn’t say it out loud. She had no energy to defend her decision, no interest in arguing about it. Nor did she have any intention of being talked out of what she increasing felt she needed for herself. Not again. Not a third time. Except for her professional pursuits, her life had become all about Charlie, just to keep peace. But relationship peace, it turned out, meant putting on a fake smile and becoming dead inside. The ideal relationship she had wanted, one of mutual interests and shared secrets, had never really materialized. But trying to make the best of a bad situation, she told herself that kind of happily ever after life only existed in fairy tales. We’re were the classic dissatisfied married couple, bored and restless, she sighed, and she knew she wasn’t really in it emotionally anymore. Lately she was full of doubt about whether it was a relationship she could continue to be in at all.

And that was why, on this spring equinox week, she decided to find out if any of the old carefree girl she remembered being was left. She yearned for the freedom of her youth, when the future looked exciting and stretched out before her full of possibility. Nancy had come to Estes to reclaim her lost self.

Walking down through town after settling in at the Bear Ridge, she noted with satisfaction several of the businesses she remembered. Right in the