The Girls at 17 Swann Street: A Novel

By Yara Zgheib

*A BookMovement Group Read*
**A People Pick for Best New Books**

Yara Zgheib’s poetic and poignant debut novel is a haunting portrait of a young woman’s struggle with anorexia on an intimate journey to reclaim her life.

The chocolate went first, then the cheese, the fries, the ice cream. The bread was more difficult, but if she could just lose a little more weight, perhaps she would make the soloists’ list. Perhaps if she were lighter, danced better, tried harder, she would be good enough. Perhaps if she just ran for one more mile, lost just one more pound.

Anna Roux was a professional dancer who followed the man of her dreams from Paris to Missouri. There, alone with her biggest fears – imperfection, failure, loneliness – she spirals down anorexia and depression till she weighs a mere eighty-eight pounds. Forced to seek treatment, she is admitted as a patient at 17 Swann Street, a peach pink house where pale, fragile women with life-threatening eating disorders live. Women like Emm, the veteran; quiet Valerie; Julia, always hungry. Together, they must fight their diseases and face six meals a day.

Every bite causes anxiety. Every flavor induces guilt. And every step Anna takes toward recovery will require strength, endurance, and the support of the girls at 17 Swann Street.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macmillan Publishers
• Release date: Feb 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9781250202468

Yara Zgheib

Yara Zgheib is the author of No Land to Light On and the critically acclaimed The Girls at 17 Swann Street, which was a People Pick for Best New Books and a BookMovement Group Read. She is a Fulbright scholar with a master’s degree in security studies from Georgetown University and a PhD in international affairs in diplomacy from Centre d’Études Diplomatiques et Stratégiques in Paris. Learn more at YaraZgheib.com.

Book preview

1

I call it the Van Gogh room. Just a different color scheme. Hazy peach blanket, hazy peach walls. Pastel-green carpet on a cherrywood floor. White blinds and shutters, the window and closet creak. Everything looks pale and tired, a little like me.

I look around and think, This is where it starts. In Bedroom 5, on the east side of a pink house at 17 Swann Street. As good, as bad a setting as any, I suppose, for a story like this. Plain and mildly inviting, dubiously clean. At least there is a window; I can see the driveway, the edge of the street, bits of garden and sky.

Four hangers, four towels, four shelves. I have not packed much, I do not need more. I have, however, packed my makeup kit, a red one my mother used to own. Not that I need it; I will not be going anywhere for a long time. No work shift to check into on Monday morning, no plans for the weekend. But I will look nice, I have to. I set the kit on the white shelf and dab blush on my cheeks.

Deodorant, coconut lotion. My apple and jasmine perfume. A spritz behind each ear, two more. I will not smell like a hospital bed.

Four magnets on a whiteboard. Oh, I will need much more. For the time being, I spread my thick stack of photographs in a rainbow on the floor. I contemplate all the faces I have loved in my life and put up my favorite four.

My mother and father. Maman et Papa, on the faded day they eloped. She in her borrowed white dress and white shoes, he in his father’s suit.

A picture of Sophie, Camil, and me on a picnic by a stream. It must have been autumn; the sky above us was cloudy. Camil must have been five or six; Leopold in his lap was still a puppy.

Matthias, gorgeous Matthias squinting at the sun and my lens. The first picture I took of him, that first morning in Paris. A quietly happy day.

Last, Matthias and me, mouths covered in chocolate, hands holding messy half-eaten crêpes. Our official wedding photo, posed for proudly outside the Métro three years ago.

The kaleidoscope goes by the bed, the slippers and a box underneath. Blinds up, night-light on.

I have moved into Bedroom 5, 17 Swann Street.

My name is Anna. I am a dancer, a constant daydreamer. I like sparkling wine in the late afternoon, ripe and juicy strawberries in June. Quiet mornings make me happy, dusk makes me blue. Like Whistler, I like gray and foggy cities. I see purple in gray and foggy days. I believe in the rich taste of real vanilla ice cream, melting stickily from a cone. I believe in love. I am madly in love, I am madly loved.

I have books to read, places to see, babies to make, birthday cakes to taste. I even have unused birthday wishes to spare.

So what am I doing here?

I am twenty-six years old. My body feels sixty-two. So does my brain. Both are tired, irritable, in pain. My hair was once wild-lion thick, morning blond. It is now a nondescript, mousy beige that falls in wisps around my face and out in my hands. My eyes, green like my mother’s, are sunk so deep in their sockets that no makeup will fill the craters. I do have lovely eyelashes. I always liked those. They curl up at the edges like those of a doll I used to own.

My collarbones, ribs, kneecaps, and streamer-like thin blue veins peek through paper-thin skin. My skin, largest organ of my body and its first line of defense, has been more decorative than functional lately. In fact, not even that; it is cracked and taut, constantly bruised and cold. Today it smells of baby oil. For the occasion, I used lavender.

I have a flat stomach. I once had lips and breasts, but those shrank months ago. Along with my thighs, my liver, my behind. I lost my sense of humor too.

I do not laugh very often anymore. Very little is funny. When I do, it sounds different. So does my voice on the telephone. Apparently. Not that I can tell the difference: I do not have many people to call.

I realize that my phone is not with me, then remember; they took it away. I am allowed to have it until 10:00 A.M. and after dinner in the evenings. One of the many house rules I will have to learn while I am living here, however long that will be. How long will that be? I turn away from the thought …

… and hit a tidal wave of panic. I do not recognize the girl, or the reality I just described.

2

Clinical Intake and Assessment Form

Friday—May 20, 2016

Patient Identification Information

Emergency Contact Information

General Background

Occupation:

I tell people I am a dancer. I have not danced in years, though. I work as a cashier in a supermarket, but my real occupation is anorexia.

Yet. Hopefully, maybe, after this is all over?

I skip Ethnic Background, Family and Social History, Education, and Hobbies.

Physical Health

I feel fine, thank you.

I cannot remember.

Birth control? Contraceptive medication?

What for? And what for?

So I am a little underweight. So what?

Daily Habits

Tobacco:

No. I do not like the smell.

Alcohol:

A glass of wine, once a week on a Friday night.

Recreational drugs:

No.

Caffeine:

How else do you think I function on only three hours of sleep?

Number of meals eaten on a normal weekday:

Define the words normal and meal. I keep a few apples in my bag in case I get too hungry.

Number of meals eaten on a normal weekend day:

Why would that be different? Well, I do sometimes make popcorn in the microwave. Single serving. Nonfat.

Regular exercise routine:    Yes.

Naturally.

Frequency:    Every day.

Please describe:

I run, build strength, and stretch for two hours, every morning before 7:00 A.M.

What do you do to manage stress?

I run, build strength, and stretch for two hours every morning before 7:00 A.M.

Mental Health

Basic problem or concern:    Difficulty eating certain foods.

Difficulty eating, period. Loss of interest in food, loss of interest in general.

Significant changes or stressors in recent history:  None

that I have any interest in disclosing here.

Previous mental health diagnoses:      None.

I said I feel fine.

Feelings of sadness?

Check.

Hopelessness?

Check.

Anxiety?

Check check.

Please check any symptoms experienced in the past month:

Restricted food intake.

Check.

Compulsion to exercise.

Check.

Avoidance of certain foods.

Check.

Laxative abuse.

Check.

Binge.

Check. A whole box of blackberries last week.

Self-induced vomiting.

Only with guilt. See above on blackberries.

Concerns about weight, body image, feeling fat.

Check. Check. Check.

Total weight lost over the past year:

Pass.

Lowest weight ever reached:

Pass again.

These questions are inappropriate.

Diagnosis

Anorexia nervosa. Restricting type.

3

The bedroom, the whole flat in fact, was an industrial cube. The sort of unit prized by cost-cutting developers and lower-income tenants. High ceiling and concrete walls left provocatively naked, lined with steel pipes. More loft than apartment unit, more studio really.

Light flowed in buckets through the one window that covered the only external wall. She walked up to it and looked down onto a little patch of green, across onto the next building, up onto the third floor and window parallel to theirs. The blinds were drawn. Did neighbours know their neighbours here? There was no u in the word neighbors here. She would have to remember that.

Flat was not the right word either, she reminded herself. Flats here were called apartments. She was in America now.

Apartment. America. She tried both words on for size, feeling them on her tongue as she rolled them around in her mouth. This apartment was bare but it was theirs, small but luxurious by Parisian standards.

In Paris they had been living in a cupboard of a room, sharing a wall, bathroom, little stove and fridge with a philosophy major, a psychologist, their lovers, and a computer technician who was never there but made outstanding pesto when he was. Bohemian life did not scare her; she had always loved and led it happily. But this was not bohemian, or Paris. This was the American Midwest.

She had landed last night. Matthias had been waiting at the airport with a red rose. He had driven her here. Dinner, wine, sex, and this morning he had left for work …

… and had not said when he would return, Anna realized. She finished unpacking—apple and jasmine perfume, lotion, hairbrush, toothbrush next to his. Books by the bed. She had forgotten her slippers. Done. Eleven o’clock.

One more look around. The walls were not too bare. She would cover them with photographs of home. She would also buy groceries, candles, and some more wine. Would Matthias be home for lunch?

Surely not. But she would make sure dinner was ready when he did. They would have a feast, then go out to explore this new city. Till then …

She hummed notes at random and walked toward the fridge. A quarter of the pizza Matthias had ordered the night before remained. He had left the crusts on the side; he knew Anna liked them. There was also a piece of cheese, some yogurt, a few fruits. She took the yogurt and some strawberries.

Where would she eat them, though? They had no furniture yet beyond the coffee table and the bed. Coffee table then. She would just sit on the floor.

She boiled water and stirred in instant coffee. One sip. Disaster. Enough. That was not coffee. She poured it into the sink and decided she would have tea.

They did not have tea. Eleven oh five. The yogurt was the fruity kind, with syrup. She put it back in the fridge and ate the strawberries. Eleven oh six. It would soon be time for lunch anyway. She reached for the phone, then put it down; it was late afternoon in Paris and everyone was surely busy now.

Perhaps she would go for a run before lunch. Matthias just might be back then.

He was not. She showered and slowly went through her lotion routine, dried her hair, put on a blue dress, reached for a red makeup kit: face cream, mascara, peach blush. Pink lipstick applied. Twelve twenty-eight.

Fridge. Pizza, crust, cheese, yogurt, and fruit. She should buy groceries for the evening. She could make crêpes and a salad. Cheese and mushrooms. They would have the fruit for dessert.

Twelve twenty-nine. She would go before lunch.

One thirty in the afternoon and she finally had everything she needed. The store she had spotted on her run had not been as close as she had thought. Her voice had croaked mildly at the cash register; she was using it for the first time that day. A while later, the eggs, milk, flour, ricotta, and lettuce, mushrooms, tomatoes were in the fridge. Done.

Concrete walls. She took the phone and put it down. Opened and closed the fridge. She took two of Matthias’s leftover crusts, ripped them into little bits, and slowly chewed the first, looking out the large window, exhaling the anxiety away.

Nine full minutes later it was done. She hated eating alone. At 1:41 she took the blue dress off and hung it neatly with the rest of her clothes. All she owned had moved from one suitcase to twenty hangers and a shelf in cube 315 of many more in the building on 45 Furstenberg Street. She climbed back into bed.

Matthias would be back soon anyway and then she would make the crêpes.

4

I do not suffer from anorexia, I have anorexia. The two states are not the same. I know my anorexia, I understand it better than the world around me.

The world around me is obese, half of it. The other half is emaciated. Values are hollow, but meals are dense with high fructose corn syrup. Standards come in doubles, so do portions. The world is overcrowded but lonely. My anorexia keeps me company, comforts me. I can control it, so I choose it.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fifth Edition) defines anorexia nervosa as a brain disease, a mental disorder with severe metabolic effects on the entire body. Characteristics:

1. Restriction of food, self-induced starvation with the purpose of losing weight.

2. An intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat.

3. A distorted perception of body weight or shape with a strong influence on mental well-being,

as well as

a lack of awareness of the severity of the condition.

I run for eighty minutes each day, build strength for another twenty, keep my caloric intake below eight hundred calories, a thousand when I binge. I weigh myself every morning and cry at the number on the scale. I cry in front of mirrors too: I see fat everywhere.

Everyone around me thinks I have a problem. Everyone around me is scared. I do not have a problem. I just have to lose a little bit of weight. I am scared too, but not of gaining weight. I am terrified of life. Of a sad and unfair world. I do not suffer from a sick brain. I suffer from a sick heart.

Cardiac arrhythmia. Irregular heartbeat. Like falling in love, or a heart attack.

Cardiomyopathy. Loss of heart muscle mass. Yes, but only the excess.

I do not need dispensable tissue, dispensable fat or organs. But my body is greedy; it wants more potassium, sodium, magnesium. Energy.

My body does not know what it needs. I make that decision for it. In protest, my heart pumps less blood. Bradycardia. Slow heartbeat. My blood pressure drops.

The rest of my body follows suit, falling quietly, like rain, like snow. My ovaries, my liver, my kidneys go next. Then my brain goes to sleep.

5

Anna? Should I pause the movie? You are missing the good parts.

Anna?

Anna, are you all right in there? Open the door please.

Anna, open the door! Anna!

6

Matthias found me on the floor, legs like cotton, mouth numb. I could feel the bathroom tiles, freezing, painful against my back, but I was also falling through them. I could not grasp the wisps of words I needed to tell him that I was fine. I could not grasp his shirt; my hands were clumsy. My thoughts were clumsy too.

I could not move my hands, I could not move. Matthias carried me from the bathroom into the bedroom.

For a few minutes neither of us said anything. The movie was on pause too. I wanted to press Play, end the ugly intermission. Matthias had other plans.

We need to talk, Anna.

What about?

What happened in there?

I fell in the bathroom, Matthias,

I sliced.

I am fine now. I just stood up too fast.

Muscles tense, defenses up, circling the ring. He could feel the edge in my voice. He circled too, carefully.

What about yesterday, during your shift? And last week, when you hurt your shoulder?

I was tired! I slipped!

We need to talk, Anna.

We are talking!

We need to stop lying then.

Matthias was a few years older than I was, thirty-one in a couple of months. He looked older just then. Our voices had been rising, but he said that last sentence very quietly.

Another lull while he chose his words. I did not, would not, help him.

I think you need treatment. I’ve been a coward. I should have spoken a long time ago. I just kept convincing myself you were fine—

I told you: I am fine!

My claws were out, a cat trapped in a corner.

I know things have been difficult since Christmas, but I have this under control! I’ve been eating normally—

You’ve lost so much weight—

How would you know, Matthias? You’re never here!

I had gone on the offensive, he had left me no choice. My back was to the wall and I needed air. But the shriller I got, the calmer he did.

You’re right. I am not. I’m sorry.

I do not need you to be sorry, or worry about me! I can take care of myself! I told you: I am fine—

And I believed you, because I wanted to.

I cannot anymore, Anna.

I do not remember much of the three years that led up to that moment. Just that they felt long and cold, and I felt underwater in them. The two days that followed, however, flashed by to Matthias and me getting in the car and driving up an empty Highway 44 to an address on Swann Street. It took us just under forty-five minutes. Really, it took us much longer; three years and twenty-two pounds to reach that Intake and Assessment appointment.

7

It was Thursday night and freezing, but the Christmas displays were worth it, Anna decided as she wrapped her plush white scarf tighter around her neck. Digging her gloved hands deeper into her coat, she walked down the Grands Boulevards, window to window, drummer boys and nutcrackers, twinkling lights and whimsical trains.

She bumped into him, or he into her. Either way,

Oh, je suis désolée!

But he smiled. She smiled. What a coincidence, he was also walking that way. They walked together, to the end of the display. Then they kept walking and talking.

They walked through ample sidewalk and conversation. Then it was cold, so they went inside. They had two glasses of Bordeaux, each. They shared a basket of fries.

His name was Matthias and he said she was beautiful. They kissed. Then,

Shall we get some ice cream?

Ice cream? It was freezing! Was he mad?

It cannot make us any colder.

Good point.

On one condition, though:

I want it in a cone.

Un cornet pour mademoiselle!

She giggled and they bundled up and linked arms and walked out into the cold again.

They walked across the bridge, past the colorful cafés where tourists were gladly being swindled. Left onto a side street, all the way down, to a well-hidden little kiosk.

The queue outside it was a good sign, and that there were no tourists in it. He had two scoops: chocolate and something pink. She had her vanilla and her cone. They ate as they walked and shivered and stopped to kiss stickily.

Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?

It was the easiest yes in history.

No, actually, it was not. That came later, one year later in the same place.

Lips and fingers sticky, he asked:

Would you like to marry me?

They were married in the first week of January, the coldest wedding in history.

They had croissants from the boulangerie downstairs for breakfast. She made coffee on the little stove. They froze in the snow, he in his only suit, she in the creamy white dress she had bought. They stepped out of the mairie at noon holding hands, kissing, laughing at the words husband and wife, and just before ducking into the Métro, they had gooey crêpes for their wedding

Reviews for The Girls at 17 Swann Street

[fastforward-46127 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Anna has struggled with anorexia for years and moves in to a live in treatment facility for women battling eating disorders. The book is described as having a lyrical quality to it and I admit I was a bit leery at first because that isn't something I typically like. However, because the subject matter is so heavy it actually worked in the book's favor as it made the tough parts slightly easier to take because they were broken up a bit. I thought this was a pretty realistic portrayal of a woman with an eating disorder. For people that have never dealt with one before, I think you can walk away after reading the book at least having a better understanding of the mindset of someone struggling with anorexia. The only part of the book I had problems with was the ending as it felt like the author was in a bit of a rush to wrap up the story. Overall, this is a tough but good read with an emotional punch.I won a free copy of this book in a giveaway but was under no obligation to post a review. All views expressed are my honest opinion!

[bonnie.franks · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I can safely say that I enjoyed the writing in this book.This book was difficult for me in that it was a difficult subject. It was not about an area that I was really familiar with and it ventured deeply into it. I am not complaining, and I actually learned a lot by reading this, both about anorexia and about dwelling in a care facility. I do not doubt that while this book is fiction, copious amounts of research went into it.I really can't give away a lot by discussing it in detail, but I will say that by the end, I was glad I read it. If you want a book that will teach you and move you, this is it.This book was provided to me by NetGalley and the publisher.

[simplykelina · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I actually read a young adult story around eating disorders a month ago, and it fell a little flat to me. I was interested in reading more around this topic and the next thing I knew, The Girls at 17 Swann Street showed up at my door. I was lucky enough to get an ARC of this several months before the release date. I thought I would just read over page one and then put it down until closer to release. Wow, was I wrong. The next thing I knew, I was almost 200 pages into the story.This is written in what a poetic style. I was not really sure if I was going to like the writing, but I ended up loving it. I can see how others may not be a fan, but for me it brought something different and unique to the story. You also get different chapters of Meal Plans, Treatments Plans, and Questionnaires as you follow along with Anna during her battle with Anorexia. You also get glances into the life of both Anna and her husband leading up to Anna entering treatment. Her story was painful and heartbreaking as you see her start to battle that she is fighting. I liked the other girls who were also at 17 Swann Street, as you also get to learn a little about their stories and the battles they are facing. I enjoyed how they supported one another.This did get a little repetitive in the middle, and there was not much action. I wanted more around the flashbacks of Anna and her life as well. I ended up only skimming some of these sections to get back to her in treatment. Overall, this was really good and I enjoyed it. I would give the first half of this book five stars.

[jillrey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow! This book was extremely powerful. Never have I read something so captivating while opening my eyes to the mental illness that drives eating disorders. This is one of the best books I've read thus far on this topic. 17 Swann Street takes on body image, the media, stereotypes and anxiety among other things. This book so delicately captures the thoughts of a patient suffering from anorexia. Her life before the disease and during the treatment are captured within the pages of this book's prose. Not only with this book help the reader to understand the mental illness that are eating disorders, but provides insights into the suffering of family members and the scary, yet real parts of the disease. Every day those suffering have to make the hard, difficult, yet deliberate choice to fight. *Disclaimer: A review copy of this book was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.

[cherylk_44 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I fell hard in love with this book and the writing style. The emotional connection I felt towards Anna was instant. There was no judgement towards her; just sorrow, encouragement, and joy. This is what I liked the most is that everyone from the staff to Anna's husband, Matthias, as well as the other girls were all so supportive of each other. Everything that Anna went through was as if I was in her shoes. When she had a set back; I had a set back and when she ate some food; I savored every morsel. While, I have never experienced an eating disorder; this book provided a real insightful look into someone's journey to recovery. Although, the sad part is that no one really ever fully recovers like any other addiction. This book is not to be missed. The Girls at 27 Swann Street will tug at your heart strings and stay with you long after the last page has been read!

[sensitivemuse · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book was definitely a page turner and it didn’t take me long to finish it. The writing is excellent, the characters are ones that stay close to you, and the overall theme is sad but there’s glints of hope as well.It’s not an easy theme to read about, definitely but, it’s all too real and definitely something to be aware of. As you follow Anna throughout her journey and as she meets the rest of the girls, you silently want to support and help them as it’s almost they’re trapped in this vicious cycle that they can’t get out of and there’s an overall feeling of helplessness that’s prevalent. Especially moments between Matthias and Anna, you can feel the tension and almost subtle frustration Matthias feels as he tries to understand Anna and her disorder. I loved the moments between Anna and her father, however. Their interactions were meaningful and the love between them was what kept Anna going. There is no actual plot in the book, you just follow Anna’s journey through how her disorder started, how it spiraled out of control, and how she’s attempting to treat it. It’s by no means an easy read but it’s an accurate picture of what these people go through with this disorder. It may seem trivial to some people, how Anna laments on eating full meals and being fiercely resistant and panicking over the meal portions, but it’s a real reaction to someone who’s used to eating and counting each single calorie intake throughout their day. It’s excellent writing on the author to portray this behavior and feeling throughout the book. I do recommend this read when it’s due out in February. It doesn’t sugar coat the disorder, it blatantly tells it like it is, and we can only hope Anna can get herself out of the cycle.

[bettytaylor56 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Anna Roux, 26, was a professional dancer in Paris until her husband Matthias got a job in St. Louis. They have been married for three years and are madly in love. Life seems so perfect except for meal times. Anna, like many professional dancers, has had hammered into her head that she needs to lose weight. Each day is a battle with food. Now in an unfamiliar country, the inability to get a job as a dancer, and the low body image she spirals out of control. When Anna passes out on the bathroom floor because of abusing her body, Matthias insists she gets help. Thus, he takes her to 17 Swann Street where she meets other pale, fragile women who give each other the determination to beat their inner demons and to survive.Yara Zgheib masterfully gets inside the head of Anna as she is now forced to eat six meals a day. Through flashbacks of Anna’s life we are witness to her gradual descent into an eating disorder. Anna knows she has much in her life that is worth getting better for, but is she strong enough to win out over the anorexia that calls to her every minute of every day?THE GIRLS AT 17 SWANN STREET is a very gut-wrenching, captivating look at eating disorders and the devastation they wreak in the lives of their victims and their loved ones. It is a novel of despair, bravery, strength, and ultimately love. The writing is exquisite, tender, raw. For anyone who has known someone with an eating disorder or someone who has loved someone with an eating disorder, this book is a must-read.

[bereanna · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Anorexia. The young women in this home are being treated body and mind to get healthy. I learned so much. Online book discussion with book movement who revise is and 500 book clubs with galleys.

[sbojo32 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Girls at 17 Swann Street immediately caught my attention because of the subject matter. It's no secret that this is a book about a woman struggling with anorexia. However, the way this novel reads is unlike any other book about the subject that I've read. The book flows like a stream of consciousness coming from Anna, a 26-year-old woman with anorexia. In her words, the prose details her experience at 17 Swann Street, an in-patient facility for women with eating disorders. Anna, through her words, takes you through her story which goes backward at times to talk about her relationship with her husband, some of the factors that led to her eating disorder, and her current thoughts, fears, and dreams. Almost like a journal entry, she details how she literally had a breakdown over having to eat a bagel and cream cheese. The way she approaches food is so real to anyone suffering from the disease. The feelings and thoughts are heartwretching at times.

The book is just so real. I honestly couldn't put it down and devoured (pun intended) it in one sitting. Anna is driven by the love and dedication of her husband. Dealing with an eating disorder is hard, and this book does not shy away from that pain. However, it also provides hope. Between the interactions with the other girls at 17 Swann Street and her own life, this book grabs you and gets you invested in each of their stories.

I personally loved this book, but I think this is a book that the reader needs to know what to expect before picking it up. The expectation simply needs to be that this is a story of a woman dealing with anorexia, written in a stream-of-consciousness narration that is almost prose.

* Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martins press for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review *

[limelite_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Disclosure: I received this book from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review.While there is no doubt anorexia is a health problem primarily affecting young women, there is apparently no known cause or cure. That may be because it is a syndrome rather than a medical disease? Books about this topic have become more prevalent since anorexia raised its profile due to the deaths of celebrities and increasing awareness of cases, especially among teenagers, that correspond to the rise of pop culture influence on young peoples' development.This is a novel about the experience of a young married French woman living in America who suffers from anxiety and depression and who develops anorexia at the age of 25. She is committed to an in-patient rehab facility with other women with eating disorders, primarily anorexia.Now, I must confess that novels ‘about’ conditions both physical and mental are books I turn away from because I don’t believe there is enough to the subject that is compelling in terms of revealing insights into the human condition. I want to make a distinction, even though it is a misty one, between books about conditions vs. books about people who may have physical or mental disorders but also have lives that do speak to our common humanity. A number of diverting and empathetic novels about people with autistic spectrum disorder are currently available. Secondly, I should reveal that I have an antipathy to characters who cry in nearly every scene. Yes, anorexia is really a physical manifestation of a profoundly sad and anxious soul, and one should expect emotions to be close to the surface. Perhaps the constant production of tears one sees on nearly every page of this novel is one of the reasons anorexia -- as dealt with in this format -- is a poor subject for fiction.Thirdly, I recoil in distaste from commercial “Hollywood” endings in ‘serious,’ or literary works. Even more when they end a book devoted to a human tragedy. Readers who do not look for deep insight into character, earned endings revealed in original ways, or the intellectually provoking ambiguity of resolutions not distilled to their absolute endpoint will not be disappointed by how this book ends.Unfortunately all three of my prejudices are served in this novel. In its favor, however is the writing style of short chapters executed as scenes. It was cinematic and vividly done and made the book easy to read because of the effective device producing the sensation of fast pacing in the reader's mind. That said, it was not really a novel in the sense of my first complaint. Supposedly, the heroine is French, but that seemed a throwaway since nothing about her lived on the page to distinguish that fact in her from the American girls who she lived among. If I had to put my finger on the main reason the book, as presented, is not a success, it is that it was written as fiction when it feels like it is really autobiography without the baring of the soul, which makes poignant personal histories compelling.Regretfully, I can not recommend this book as a work of literary fiction.

[girlwellread · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A special thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin's Press for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.Anna Roux was a professional dancer who followed the man of her dreams from Paris to Missouri. There, alone with her biggest fears—imperfection, failure, loneliness—she spirals downward into depression and anorexia until she weighs a shocking eighty-eight pounds. Forced to seek treatment, she is admitted as a patient at 17 Swann Street, a peach pink house where women with life-threatening eating disorders live. Together, the women fight their diseases through six meals a day. With every bite causing anxiety and guilt, the women struggle to gain control. Through the support of the other girls, sheer strength, and resilience, Anna begins her long journey of recovery. Heartbreaking, haunting, and poignant, this intimate look into eating disorders is a solid debut effort for Yara Zgheib. Her writing is quite good, but the characters were underdeveloped. I wanted more of Anna's and the other residents' backstories. Some of the staff are referred to as "Direct Care" and it is never explained who they are whereas all of the other Swann Street staff have names. I wasn't sure if this was an attempt at Zgheib to make Anna seem as though she didn't care enough to learn their names. For these reasons, the book feels unfinished. Zgheib juxtaposes Anna's unhealthy relationships with men against her eating disorder. She is a woman that is reliant on a man to save her when she needs to save herself. Her relationships with men are unhealthy as is her relationship with food. My main criticism is that the both the dialogue and past events are set in italics. I'm uncertain as to why some authors choose not to use quotation marks for speech—it is confusing and hopefully this will be corrected in the final version. I also found it trite that the main character was named Anna and she has anorexia and think a name change is in order.

[pattylouise_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The Girls At 17 Swann StreetByYara ZgheibThis book is about Anna and the other anorexic girls of Swann Street. This book tracked the lives of anorexic women who are hopefully on the road to recovery. The focus was on Anna...a former ballerina from Paris who now weighs 88 pounds.What it's all about...The lives of the women at Swann Street are measured by a strict schedule and food intake. Why I wanted to read it...It looked interesting and it was interesting. Anna’s thoughts were all about how she could eat foods that she had denied herself for years. A half of a bagel and cream cheese overwhelmed her. Yogurt and cereal overwhelmed her. Pasta overwhelmed her. What made me truly enjoy this book...I didn’t exactly enjoy this book but it was interesting. I received an advance reader’s copy of this book from the publisher through NetGalley and Amazon. It was my choice to read it and review it.

[susan0316 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

For someone like me with little understanding of the disease of anorexia, this book was a real eye-opener. My attitude had been that these were spoiled little girls who wanted attention. After reading this book, I learned that this is a disease, not a choice and that recovery is very difficult and for some, impossible.Anna is a ballerina from Paris who has moved to St. Louis with her husband Matthias for his job. She misses dancing, Paris and her family. As her husband works long hours and she is left on her own with no friends in a strange country, her anorexia begins to manifest itself. 'The chocolate went first, then the cheese, the fries, the ice cream. The bread was more difficult, but if she could just lose a little more weight, perhaps she would make the soloists’ list. Perhaps if she were lighter, danced better, tried harder, she would be good enough. Perhaps if she just ran for one more mile, lost just one more pound.' When Anna is down to 88 pounds and her body is beginning to break down, she agrees to go to a residential center for eating disorders. This book is about the struggle to get better when she wants to cling to her anorexic life and was about not only the physical part of the disease but also the mental part. It was difficult to read at times but the story itself was told quietly and beautifully.My main problem with the book is that they kept repeating that Anna was going to get better for her husband. In reality, the only person you can get better for is yourself and I don't think that was stressed enough in the book.Overall this was a beautiful well written novel that taught me a lot. Thanks to Netgalley for a copy to read and review. All opinions are my own.

[grgenius_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Honestly, I couldn't quite put it down. Once I got use to the style, which is sort of a cross between letters and conversations to ones self, I was all in...unfortunately unlike some of the girls. It's Fiction, but really hits home for so many and, in my humble opinion, does a good job with such a hot button topic. It allows readers a chance to see how this disease affects everyone it touches...not just the person suffering from it, but EVERY SINGLE PERSON they come into contact with. Whether it be their loved ones who care so much, but simply can't understand why they won't just eat...or their best friends with whom they've shared everything and yet can't find a why to share this burden...or the waitress who can't fathom why the person placing an order is taking everything down to the lowest common caloric intake possible...or the coworker that watches them waste away to next to nothing, yet all along thought they were perfectly perfect and strove to be like them...it's an invisible killer (to some degree), but it is just as deadly as a person with a knife.

All in all, a deceivingly amazing read behind a curiously titled work that could easily fly beneath your reading radar...word of advice? DON'T LET IT.



**ARC received for review; opinions are my own

[bobbieharv · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Such a realistic, beautiful portrayal of struggles with anorexia - it seems as though Zgheib must have been there herself.

[muddyboy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A touching and realistic portrayal of a woman's struggle with anorexia. It is also a novel of love and dedication. Anna has a history of not eating much as she is a trained ballet dancer. When her husband gets a job in America (They lived in France.) this seems to trigger her downfall. I love the way the author writes is short concise dialogue and paragraphs that make the chapters fly by. More importantly you really feel the struggle that Anna has with her eating as well as her relationships with other women treatment center. It is a good book.

[shazjhb · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well written interesting book. The treatment for eating disorders has not changed and neither have the outcomes. Why we forget about the most serious eating issue - obesity is very interesting.

[susan.h.schofield · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was a beautifully written story of a Anna, a young wife with anorexia, who is in a treatment at 17 Swann Street. The author does an excellent job of explaining Anna's struggle with this disease. She writes what is in Anna's head and what she is actually saying and communicating to her husband, fellow patients and care team. The format may not be for everyone - the style of writing provides very vivid images but does not present like your typical novel. I highly recommend this debut by Yara Zgheib.

[arthistorychick · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Girls at 17 Swann Street by Yara ZgheibSource: NetGalley and St. Martin’s PressMy Rating: 5/5 starsI only intended to read a few chapters of this book, just get a start on it before sleeping. Several hours later at 4 a.m. I finished this book and woke a few hours later with zero regrets. There is no preface, no baby steps to this book just an immediate and totally appropriate jump into the deep end from the first page. Anna Roux is 26 years old and weighs just 88 pounds when her beloved husband checks her into the treatment center at 17 Swann Street. Nearly every system in her body is damaged, her brain tells her food is the enemy, the thing that will keep her from being perfect, and yet, she still isn’t convinced she has a problem. Thankfully, the staff at 17 Swann Street understand Anna’s situation perfectly and know how to help her; they simply must convince her she has a problem and wants help.Understandably, Anna’s first days at 17 Swann Street are some of the most traumatic of her life. The staff, though seemingly uncaring, have only her best interest at heart yet Anna is too broken, scared, and defiant to see the situation clearly. All Anna can see are the treacherous foods before her she is required to eat if she doesn’t want to have a feeding tube shoved up her nose and down into her stomach. What’s more, the staff, her team, want her to talk in private and group therapy, acknowledge the pain and circumstances that have led her to this place, and make food choices from a menu that is filled with nothing but damnable foods meant to invade her body and force her to gain weight. To say her time at 17 Swann Street is difficult and sometimes debilitating doesn’t even come close to describing Anna’s experience. The only things that seem to get her through the minutes and the meals are knowing her beloved husband will come to see her every single night and the other women, all equally broken who also occupy rooms at 17 Swann Street. Her husband, though loving and supportive and cannot even begin to understand Anna’s situation, yet the other women understand her perfectly. As the days go by, Anna slowly begins to know the other women, their individual stories, and their demons. She begins to understand a kind of support she has never known and a kind of fear she never thought possible. Not all the women at 17 Swann Street have Anna’s strength and when several die or are carried away to a more intensive treatment/level of care, Anna understands, if she doesn’t battle her own demons, she will die!The Bottom Line: I was completely engrossed in this story from the very beginning. Zgheib doesn’t just tell a story but lays out a medical study with the notes from Anna’s medical team; the startling facts and numbers of a real anorexic’s life in black and white. While Anna is the primary focus of the book, she isn’t an island and in many ways, her interactions with the other women very much define her own journey. Anna sees successes, achievements, and spectacular failures in her housemates which all help her get her own thoughts and feelings in order. While these women are by no means friends, they are a support and, in some cases, a warning to a woman who finally realizes she wants to be healthy and commits to her own recovery. Make no mistake, this isn’t a jaunt toward a completely implausible rainbows and unicorns ending, but a long, winding, and difficult journey of a woman who will be healthy but will also struggle with her demons every day for the rest of her life. In this way, I found this book to be even better and completely appreciated the truth and the honesty of the writing. This is a hard topic, a hard read, a hard story, but it is beautifully and honestly written and that gives it and the men and women who struggle with this terrible illness a strength.

[beamis12 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A haunting look at a disease that is so hard to overcome. I'm far from knowledgeable about those who struggle with anorexia, have no personal connection to anyone who has, what I know comes from reading about the subject. How it effects everyone who cares or loves the person, how hard it is to watch a loved one melting away, and not able to do anything that helps. I just can't imagine the pain.The pressure on our girls, on us a women to be thin is a terrible thing. Some vocations though value thiness more than others, dancers, gymnastics, models, ice sisters, all under an inordinate amount of pressure. In this novel Anna is a former ballet dancer, but there are many reasons she becomes anorexia, these we find out while she tells her story. At a meager 88 lbs, she is admitted to Swann street, a residential treatment center for girls, women with eating disorders. She will meet and make friends with others who are struggling, they will lean on and help each other, highs and lows.What made this book work for me was that the characters were so likable. It was easy to cheer for them, wince as they struggled, and just feel a great deal of empathy. This is a subject that needed to be written about, given much more attention, brought to the forefront of conversations. A touching read, but an informative one as well.ARC from Netgalley.

[fredreeca · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Anna has had several changes in her life. She was injured and could not dance. As a matter of fact, she lost her place in the dance company. Then her husband received a job offer in St. Louis which he could not turn down. So, they moved from her beloved home in Paris and away from her family. Anna goes into a deep depression. She basically quits eating almost all of the foods she loves. She ends up weighing 88 pounds.
Anna is admitted to 17 Swann Street, a home for women with eating disorders. This is extremely difficult for Anna to adjust. The rules and the treatment are a little more than she can tolerate. But with the support of her husband and all the girls of 17 Swann Street she SLOWLY starts on the road to recovery.
The way Anna's relationship with food changes her life is really astounding. I have been around anorexics but I have never really discussed their thoughts. Anna's anxiety about food is above and beyond. After she spent a little time at 17 Swann Street she is allowed to go out to eat with her husband. Her approach to her dinner that night really opened my eyes to how this disease works.
I know this book is not going to work for everyone. It is traumatic in places and it is hard to read because of the subject matter. Not only is it well written and well researched, it is also an emotional ride. You do not want to miss this.
I received this novel from St. Martin's Press for a honest review.

[pdebolt_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In a culture seemingly consumed with endless ads about weight loss, this is the powerful story of women suffering from the disease of anorexia. Theirs is the opposite anguish of people featured on "My 600-pound life." Both are in life-threatening situations, and both elude the logic of "normal-sized" people. This is the heart-breaking journey of Anna to confront her anorexia, and her overwhelming guilt and anguish when faced with all that is expected during in-patient treatment. It is written with grace and understanding.I have the sense that this is a journey the author has made; if so, I applaud the courage it took to write this book.

[c.archer · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I found this to be a mesmerizing story. The first person style was ideal for experiencing the emotions of the main character, Anna. I forgot that I was reading a novel. The author certainly showed the nature of this terrible illness and the very real struggle that patients face in attempting to regain control over their eating. Of course the subject is depressing and painful, but there always seemed at least a glimmer of hope that Anna would recover. I have no complaints about any part of this story. I thought that every bit of it was believable, and it genuinely portrayed the feelings and emotions of someone with an eating disorder. The main focus of course was on Anna's anorexia, but the other characters were also well developed. The connections that Anna makes with the other girls at 17 Swann Street were just as important to the story as her relationship with her husband, Matthias. Although each girl was battling her own demon, there was a fragile bonding that came from someone else understanding what no one else around them could. I found this particularly moving and emotional. Yara does such a wonderful job of letting us into Anna's head. I also couldn't help but root for Matthias and Anna's marriage. Their love definitely seemed to transcend the love of most couples. Without the persistent and committed love of Matthias, I'm not sure that Anna would have had the courage to keep fighting. It was a beautiful picture and one that I desperately hoped would withstand the strain. This is a serious novel that isn't afraid to face the reality of an eating disorder or the devastating effect it has on anyone who is connected with it, yet it is beautifully presented. Bravo! My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this title. Since it is now available for purchase, I would highly recommend it to anyone who has an interest in better understanding eating disorders or who enjoys serious relational fiction.

[jypsylynn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

**This review is based on an excerpt of the first eight chapters** I have heard many good things about this book from other reviewers. Going on, I knew the basic principle of the story was anorexia. I did not, however, expect it to be so relatable to my own life experiences. I have not been anorexic, but I have been changed by a disorder, and I really did not notice the changes until they became obvious. Anna talks about how she slowly stopped going out, stopped putting makeup on, stopped answering the phone. Yeah, that is me, too. Anna has been slowly slipping away from her life. Once she realizes it, the damage is done. Now, serious treatment is necessary. I feel so bad for Anna. I understand how it happened to her. It just did. She had no control over it. Everything became so difficult, so she just stopped doing things. In her case, this also includes eating. I hope she recovers.

[pinkpurlandprose · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Many thanks to NetGalley, St Martin’s Press, and Yara Zgheib for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. My opinions are 100% my own and independent of receiving an advance copy.Rating 4.5 stars.The Girls at 17 Swann Street is a heart-wrenching, punch-in-the-gut, story about a young woman with anorexia. Zgheib gives an honest, raw account of the struggles that women with an eating disorder face while trying to battle this disease. This is not the first that I have read on this subject matter, as I studied and wrote about it during my academic years, but this story had a huge impact on me. I found it so effective that Zgheib chose to do it through fiction, crafting a story that looks behind the curtain, at the core of this sickness, destroying the myths that surround it, the highs and lows, and the different manifestations of the disease, the toll it takes on their bodies, their family members, and the different outcomes that may come to pass.This is an up close and personal story of Anna, as she faces her demons, trying to get well. When we meet Anna she is 88 pounds and after passing out and being in the hospital has decided to voluntarily check herself into a home that helps women with eating disorders. There are strict rules that she must follow, with consequences if she doesn’t. For example, she must eat all of the required food, in an allotted amount of time. After three refusals you get the feeding tube (which is horrific - yuch!). Now it might not seem difficult for you or I, to eat a bagel and cream cheese within 30 minutes, but to someone who is sick, the battle of trying to force it down is real. And they have to eat 3 times a day and two snacks. To hear what goes on inside a person’s head was excruciating. At some point, they all break down and can’t do it. What’s interesting is that she would say I am a vegetarian, I don’t eat dairy, just give me a substitute and I didn’t really understand why they didn’t accommodate her. I was with Anna, I thought the nutritionist was a horrible person. If she wanted vegetarian, why force her? But as you go along the journey, you begin to understand that none of it was true and that Anna actually LOVED bagels and cream cheese. It was the disease talking, not Anna.With flashback scenes, we get to hear Anna’s story and how she got to arrive at 17 Swann Street. We meet all kinds of girls at the home, some bulimic, some repeat customers so to speak. One girl had been going to Swann Street for four years. All heartbreaking stories of different manifestations of this disease. Some don’t make it. But the love and support that the girls give to each other was incredible. You begin to understand how they need the routine. Anna knows she is lucky because she has a family and husband who love her, who give her a reason to get better. Anna begins to realize how this has impacted all of them, how she withdrew from life, how incredibly strong you have to be to overcome and what it will take to get better. Will Anna make it? We hope so. Unlike an alcoholic, who can simply remove alcohol from their life, food is constant and you need to eat to live. It is something you have to deal with every day. I loved this story. It reaches inside you and touches your heart. You can’t help but root for these girls. This is one story you won’t want to miss.

[wagner5sarah35 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This novel of anorexia is frightening at times but also opened my eyes to how the eating disorder is tied to anxiety and overall mental health. The central character does not merely refuse to eat, she also pushes away her loving husband and socially isolates herself. Slowly, her condition improves while living at the treatment center at 17 Swann Street with several other women who also struggle with eating disorders. Hope and reality are at odds in this book - hope for recovery and the high likely of relapse - but one does eventually come to believe that the condition can be overcome. I wouldn't call this light reading, but it certainly taught me a lot about anorexia and how eating disorders are treated.

[bookslesstravelled · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

After reading the blurb I was interested to read this. I don't often read this genre so I don't have much to compare it to, but I felt most of the story was either skipped, or glossed over. It does talk about Anna's toxic thought patterns and her subsequent eating disorder, but I feel the events and details leading up to her life at Swann Street would have added some much needed depth. I often found myself bored and unable to connect with the story because the lack of any real detail or emotion.

My favorite part was probably learning about some of the other girls at Swann Street, and seeing how their stories progressed. While Anna's life story wasn't very detailed or emotional, the parts about the clinic was both heart-breaking and inspiring.

[gpangel_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Girls at 17 Swann Street by Yara Zgheib is a 2019 St. Martin’s Press publication. An unflinching and realistic battle to overcome a life- threatening eating disorder.Anna is twenty-six years old, originally from France, a former ballerina, now married to a Matthias, living in St. Louis. Matthias, after an eye-opening scene with Anna’s visiting family, heeds the wake-up call admits Anna into a treatment facility at 17 Swann Street. Anna relates her story, often in a detached, unemotional manner, but one that gets the message across, nonetheless. Anna is dying- make no mistake about it and despite her best efforts, her decision to live, to fight her way out of treatment- for herself and for those who love her- is a long, long, harrowing journey. The author uses a spare approach to the novel, which I felt was quite effective. It may feel sterile in a way, but I felt removing some of the emotional elements allowed me to focus on the reality of the situation, which was stark, harrowing, and brutal. While normally I prefer to make a closer connection to the characters, in this instance, I was grateful the author kept the reader at arm’s length just a little.This book has been languishing on my TBR list for a long time. I think the subject matter kept me from starting it a few times, but I also seemed to recall some complaints about the quality of writing. I almost removed this title from the list- but then changed my mind and decided to check out the audio version- which worked out great for me. The narration matched to tone and seemed to fit Anna’s persona quite well. It may have even helped to bring in a stronger emotional element than one might experience otherwise. Overall, this is a very powerful book, about a very important subject. It opens up an understanding about the disease, about treatment, the difficulty in overcoming such a disorder, and the gut-wrenching pain that loved ones endure, as well. It’s eye-opening in a way non-fictional books on the subject can’t quite capture, and will stick with me for a long time to come. 4 stars

[sallyelizabethmurphy · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book deserves a 3.5, and I debated awarding 4 stars. Although the novel depicts an accurate and honest portrayal of the battling nature of recovery versus eating disorders “voices,” I was disturbed by the highly inaccurate representation of treatment. Given the author’s personal experience with an eating disorder (and supposedly experience in treatment), I was angered by the almost glamorization of life in a treatment setting.

[brookiexlicious · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I was initially excited about the premise for this book, about a woman suffering from anorexia who enters a treatment center. I was expecting something along the lines of “Girl Interrupted”, but ultimately this book fell short of my expectations.This story overall just seemed too rushed for my taste. In the span of a month it seems Anna has entered treatment and is simultaneously released or “cured”. I have never known anyone who has undergone treatment for an eating disorder, but this timeline seemed highly unlikely and dangerous.Based on the title I was under the impression that this book would involve the narratives of the other residents as well, but this was not the case. We are given glimpses into some of the characters, and others that have promise and are then cast off back to the background. They only seem to be there to further Anna’s plot, not to develop on their own.You realize fairly early on that Anna is a co dependent character, especally in regards to her husband Matthias. The main reason she fights to get better is because of him and him alone it seems. Not that people in recovery don’t fight for their families, but I feel it would have been more impacting for Anna to focus on getting better for HERSELF as well. I kept waiting for her to come to that realization and it never happened. Everything she wanted, a better career, children, life etc was in relation to her husband. Even his character isn’t fully developed, just like the other patients. He just seems to be an overwhelmed “yes man”, and his constant positivity rang fake with me. The parts in the story when he got upset with Anna seemed laughable. I just wasn’t given the chance to be invested in their relationship; their past together was too cutesy for me, over the top and not realistic.I just feel like there was more potential for this book. I wanted to see more from the “girls at 17 Swann street”, and more of a realistic timeline of Anna’s recovery. To me this felt like a Lifetime movie or a side plot in a TV show that’s over by the next episode.