Dad Magazine

By Jaya Saxena

Packed with dad jokes and parenting humor, this parody "magazine" is the perfect gift for Fathers Day or cool dads anytime.

This hilarious dad-centric satire is the first "magazine" written exclusively by dads, for dads! Complete with hard-hitting feature reporting (“What’s Going On with Your Neighbor's Lawn?”), in-depth lifestyle articles (“How to Talk to Your Son About Growing A Beard”), fashion tips (“Buying Shoes on eBay: A Guide”), and insightful opinion pieces (“These Smoke Detectors Are Too Damn Sensitive, If You Ask Me”), this is the perfect faux periodical for dads of every age, facial-hair style, and sandals/socks combo. Photos, illustrations, and humorous (fake) advertisements throughout showcase all the frustrations, failures, and funny moments that make up the face of modern fatherhood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Quirk Books
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9781594748653

Book preview

MARVIN WARRINGTON

This month’s cover model hails from Scaggsville, just north of Baltimore, and has been a loving husband to his wife Marlene for over forty years. They are the proud parents of six: Darlene, Michelle, Dawn, Tammy, Rhonda, and Marvin Jr.

Marvin’s favorite pastime is wood crafting in his meticulously organized basement workshop. Organization is the key to happiness, says Warrington. A place for everything, and everything in its place. When not tinkering around in his workshop, Marvin can be found scouring eBay for rare Slim Whitman, Leonard Nimoy, and Telly Savalas vinyl. As of this issue’s publication, his collection stands at over 75 albums, including the extremely rare Telly Savalas Christmas Album.

Marvin has been an avid Dad Magazine reader for over twenty years, his first exposure being a Father’s Day present from his eldest daughter, Darlene. After his wife secretly contacted our offices, Marvin got the surprise of his life when we called him to be our next cover model. "I’d been eyeing-up those dads on the cover of Dad Magazine for years, never dreaming that one day it would be me."

A big thank you to Marvin for taking time out of his busy schedule, to Marlene for making us aware of her husband, and to all the Warringtons for their hospitality in allowing us to invade their home to shoot in the basement workshop.

HEY, GOOD LOOKIN’!

A NOTE ABOUT THE REDESIGN

Eagle-eyed readers will notice something a little different about this issue. Yes, Dad Magazine has gotten a makeover, but don’t you worry—none of these new-fangled fonts and fancy-schmancy flourishes will overpower the quality paternal content you know and love.¹ While we at Dad Mag have always prided ourselves on simplicity, thrift, and do-it-yourselfedness, the fact of the matter is that it was time to change, and one of our kids knows this guy who does good design work on the computer for pretty cheap.² We know you’ll miss the clip-art illustrations and hand-stapled spines,³ but, as longtime subscribers will note, this isn’t the first time we’ve made an upgrade (like when the mimeograph-ink shortage of ’99 prompted a switch to dot-matrix printing, for example). We hope that our readers will embrace all the new dood-dads (get it, doo-DADS) and remember that it’s what’s on the inside that counts.⁴ And speaking of insides, check out that full-color section in the middle! Boy, was that thing a pain in the neck to wrangle. You would not BELIEVE what those clowns think they can charge you for color ink! Man.

Happy reading!

The Dad Magazine Staff

---

NOTES FROM THE CREATIVE DIRECTOR:

¹Hey guys, we tried! We wanted to give the magazine a real makeover, but they insisted on using most of the same typefaces, photographers, and ad designers that they’ve always used. We did manage to sneak in some up-to-date elements to help keep things a bit current. I hope you enjoy!

²We are a respectable, professional studio, and we don’t even know their kids! They came to us for our expertise, not because we are cheap—though we did give them a price break because they’re a great bunch of guys, though I’m sure you know from past issues how thrifty they are.

³Why on earth would anyone miss that?

⁴I’m sure you guys will adapt!

PUBLISHED BY

Famlé Nast

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF:

ART PARKER

MANAGING EDITOR:

John Frangelico

DESIGN DIRECTOR:

Paul Kepple

SENIOR EDITOR:

Floyd McAllister

EDITOR-AT-LARGE:

Harry Froelich

DEPUTY EDITOR:

Skylerr Lincoln

NON-CONTACT SPORTS EDITOR:

Larry Sheehan

SPORTS AND FITNESS EDITOR:

Gerald Wen

STAFF WRITERS:

Clint Hardlam, Oliver Gibson

Gary Gottileb, Kirk Neale

Maurice Tunstall

Dave Mr. Cleo Clemens

— ART —

SENIOR DESIGNER: Max Vandenberg

DESIGNER: Caleb Heisey

PHOTOGRAPHER: Michael Reali

PHOTO RESEARCHER: Dexter Fishpaw

PRODUCTION ARTIST: George Demharter

— COPY —

SENIOR COPY EDITOR: Rodger McMartin

COPY EDITOR: Darren Plainfield

For editorial and advertising inquiries, write to Famlé Nast Publications, P.O. Box 1479 Talisman Lane, New York, NY 10010, or call our offices at 212-555-5554. For subscriptions and address changes write to Dad Magazine, P.O. Box 487, Newark, NJ 07114, or call our toll free number [phone]

Text copyright © 2016 by Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky

Compilation copyright © 2016 by Quirk Productions, Inc.

All rights reserved. Except as authorized under U.S. copyright law, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Number: 2015946942

eBook ISBN: 978-1-59474-865-3

Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-59474-864-6

Designed by

HEADCASE DESIGN:

Paul Kepple, Max Vandenberg, Caleb Heisey

www.headcasedesign.com

Crossword puzzle by Aimee Lucido

Production management by John J. McGurk

QUIRK BOOKS

215 Church Street • Philadelphia, PA 19106

quirkbooks.​com

v3.1

THANKS TO OUR ALL DAD MODELS:

Dave Berson, Rob Brothers, Scott Carpenter, Rick Chillot, Israel Del Rio, John Ford, Anuj Gupta, Gary Horner, Otto Kuchar, David Low, Keith Marlowe, David Mercuris, Jeff Podraza, Mike Rogalski, David Thornburgh, Mark Tucker, Jeff Weir, Dwayne Wharton, Luke Wolff

PHOTOGRAPHY: MICHAEL REALI: workshop background on front cover and fm2-1; 11-13 ties; 11-13: book and fannypack; 4-5 August 2006; back cover / FLICKR: con-1 Art Parker courtesy of Rifqi Dahlgren rifqisphoto.​com, con-2 John Frangelico courtesy of Ged Carroll, con-3 Floyd Mcallister courtesy of Andy Tyler, con-5 Harry Froelich courtesy of Gerald Wen courtesy of Dennis Yang, con-7 Skylerr Lincoln courtesy of Trevor Leyenhorst; fm9-1 courtesy of Ashley Campbell; fm11-1 Jackalope courtesy of CGP Grey; fm12-1 dad with tattoos courtesy of Tom Good, fm12-2 dad with saw courtesy of WoodleyWonderworks, fm12-3 dad with fish courtesy of David Jakes; 5-2 fratboy courtesy of NVM; 16-2 courtesy of Katy Warner; 17-4 Pat M. courtesy of Cristina Valencia, 17-6 Dave R. courtesy of cheriejoyful, 17-7 Skip courtesy of Boris Thaser; 20-1 courtesy of Jim Fischer / ISTOCK: front cover and fm2-2 by fatihhoca, inside front cover by IPG Gutenberg UK Ltd; fm1-1 couple by Pali Rao, bottle by ronen; con-4 Clint Hardlam by monkeybusinessimages; fm6-1 old couple by Neyya, Jacuzzi by Radekk; fm7-1 by Szeyuen; fm8-1 man on phone by Aldo Murillo, fm8-3 screwdriver by Chimpinski, fm8-6 donut by Matt Jeacock, fm8-4 WD-40 by Lebazele, fm8-2 peace sign by DRB Images LLC,; fm8-10 duck by rusm, bowler by Susan Chiang, man in chair by kazoka30, angry man by Steve Luker; fm9-2 reel-to-reel by narvikk, cd by 7io, floppy disc by Token Photo; fm12-4 golf cart by artticnew; 1-1 DIAMANDPHOTO; 2-3 Weird Uncles cover by Cameron Whitman; 2-3 by CREATISTA; 3-2 recliner by Atilla ALTUN; 4-1 by Juanmonino; 4-1; 2-1 by Diane Labombarbe; 6-2 ranch dressing by Juanmonino; 6-6 farmer by Nicolas McComber; 10-6 by Michael Krinke; 3-5 hippy-scraggle by Flamingo Photography and Debbi Smirnoff, 3-7 lunatic by sutulastock, 3-9 over-dye by stockyimages; 3-11 au naturale by stockyimages, 3-12 dali by selimaksan, 3-13 imperial and chevron by ozgurdonmaz, 3-15 Santa by Petar Chernaev, 3-16 chin curtain by XiXinXing; 11-4 backdrop by jpgfactory, Rico by Jason Doly, Marvin by by_nicholas; 11-5 backdrop by evirgen; 11-6 golf backdrop by boggy22, 11-7 bike backdrop by Maxfocus, bike by SL-Photo; 11-8 backdrop by FOTOGRAFIA INC.; 11-9 backdrop by maghakan, pheasants by Jason Lugo, Albert by Ljupco, bear by Philip Cacka; 11-10 backdrop by Falombini; 11-13 bolo tie by Jason Lugo, bandanas by Jani Bryson, cigars by bibikoff, top pipe by igorr1, bottom pipe by StockPhotosArt, drill by manley099, newspaper by DNY59, gloves by milosluz, slippers by Don Nichols; 11-13 belt buckle by skodonnell, suspenders by WestLight, ballcap by jojoe7333, top glasses by Kashtan, watch by kimeveruss, goggles by Tempura, fur cap by Don Nichols, fishing hat by DNY59, step counter by Hayes Photography; 11-14 by Christine Glade; 4-1 by Lobsterclaws; 4-5 August 1988 by thawornnurak, May 1996 by sandocir, January 2000 by tap10, March 2002 by sturti, July 2010 by Curtis Creative, December 2014 by PonyWang; 5-1 by digger1948; 5-3 grass by DonNichols, 5-5 banana by harmpeti, 5-6 dog by Eric Isselée; 17-2 ice chest by Don Nichols, toolbox by teptong; 17-2 bike by talevr, grill by gemenacom; 17-5 Les W. by delihayat; 19-12 junk equipment by smiltena; 19-6 palm pilot by CostinT; 19-9 carphone by LockieCurrie, vcr by PaZo; 6-1 by DNY59; 23-2 jazz illustration by taolmor; 7-1 pencil by yuriz, eraser by jangeltun, sharpener by AD Photo; 24-2 by JazzIRT; 24-3 by saknakorn; 25-5 glue gun by Denis Dryashkin; 25-9 man in chair by Susan Chiang; inside back cover by Susan Chiang / © DREAMSTIME.​COM: fm8-5 baseball; fm8-14 seahorse; 1-1; 1-2 tweakbait, quake-n-fish, snagthrusts, hurdy-gurdy-man, bangarang; 2-3 Dad for Kids, Matronly Monthly; 3-1 bowling ball; 5-1 bottle cap; 6-2; 6-5 potato chips; 6-7 wrap, 6-10 cow; 3-3: comb-over; 3-17; 11-13 cigar cutter, knife, Allen keys; 11-13 round glasses, sunglasses, comb; 4-5 March 1989; 17-2 car rear; 19-8 typewriter, 19-12 blackberrry and computer; pager; 22-1 / SHUTTERSTOCK: 6-8 bloody mary by Kittibowornphatnon; 11-4 Louis by Gualtiero Boffi; 4-10 by Ljupco Smokovski; 14-1 by Menzl Guenter

CONTENTS

Cover

Copyright

Acknowledgements

Photo Credit

EVERY MONTH

Contributors

Letter from the Daditor

Letters from Our Readers

Dad of the Month

The Informed Father

Ask a Dad

Faux Pas

Look What I Found

Dadshots

FEATURE ARTICLES

100 YEARS OF DAD MAGAZINE IN COVERS

TAKE A TOUR OF DADS PAST

OUR DAD CENTURY

The story of the past 100 years of Dad Magazine

HERO DAD GETS QUIET TIME

The inspiring story of one man who finally found some peace and quiet

A LACK OF VISION

A crime wave is putting dads across the country at risk. So why isn’t the FBI taking a stand?

THE FATHER OF DANGER

Read the tantalizing tale of