Is This All There Is?: Why Purpose Is a Journey and Not a Destination

By Nelson T. Dy

Do you often find yourself asking, "Is this all there is?" Or do you ever get that feeling that most of your peers already have everything figured out, while you're still clueless as ever about what to do with your life?

This book is for you.

Most of us think of purpose as that ultimate sweet spot—that ideal overlap between passion, skill, opportunity, and money. Sometimes it can get frustrating when you feel like you just can't find it.

But what if there's more than one way to go about it?

To find a different way of viewing your purpose—not as that impossibly elusive thing you have to chase after your whole life, let Is This All There Is? Help you think of life as a big picture that becomes clearer as you make your way through it.

Here is your faithful guide and companion as you embark on you purpose journey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anvil Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9789712736049

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IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

Why Purpose is a Journey and not a Destination

Is This All There Is? Why Purpose Is a Journey and Not a Destination

Copyright © 2019 by Nelson T. Dy

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher.

Published and exclusively distributed by

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Cover and interior design by Clarissa Ines

eBook conversion by JP Meneses

To Jose Miguel R. Costales

A young man brimming with potential

Foreword

I was waiting in line at a Hillsong concert when I chanced upon a small book entitled Finding Comfort. Instinctively, I thought of giving it to a close friend who was going through a tough time. That book moved her so much that she ended up writing the author and setting up a meeting with him and his wife.

I accompanied my friend to the meeting, and was pleasantly surprised to know that the author was the husband of Tita Lucy, who was a former colleague and whom I admired and respected for her grace, poise, professionalism, and uncompromising values.

From that meeting, a friendship blossomed and has deepened over the years. I am still in awe at how a random book choice would lead me to a rich and meaningful connection with two guardian angels. That is the magic of Brother Nelson's books: they reach the right person and bring the right resources to the right people at the right time.

I realize now that there was a greater hand that brought me to Tita Lucy and Brother Nelson. At that time, I had just discovered my own life purpose. I had also shifted careers and badly needed guidance. And I was led to two people who were already living out their purpose in every aspect of their lives, every single day.

Finding one's purpose is a lifetime journey. Once you find it, sustaining it is a new challenge altogether. You will go through doubt, uncertainty, insecurity. You will want to try one option after the other. You may need to review, adjust, readjust, and then try just one more time.

It has been and continues to be a painstaking process. But over the years, the decisions have become easier, because if you have a clear purpose, it serves as a lighthouse, a constant beacon that aligns every decision with your chosen path.

Looking back, if I could do it all over again, part of me still wishes that I discovered my purpose earlier. What’s more, I wish I had a resource like this book to guide me through the process many years ago.

To anyone (everyone) seeking his or her reason for existence, here is a life manual to help you discover it. The questions raised here are so real. I found myself nodding to the questions, answering with gusto, and writing down new discoveries about myself in every chapter.

Brother Nelson balances inspirational talk with practical application: he breaks it down to doable steps, so you can figure out what to do with what you know. He guides you to dig out the answers within you.

Through this book, you will find the wisdom much needed to carve your own path and through that, you will see a purpose take shape—one that can withstand the test of time.

My path of possibility was kept alive in me through the companionship of my two guardian angels. Now you have this book to help you experience the same enlightenment

and guidance.

As you start your journey, may the wisdom in these pages amplify your courage and inspire you to seek and shape your unique purpose.

Memey Mendoza

Community Empowerment Coach

Nelson’s writing is relatable as he speaks from his personal experiences and shares stories from other real people’s purpose journeys. It offers practical advice and specific steps on how to deal with real-life issues that most of us face today. The chapters are easy to read and understand, and come with clear instructions and thought-provoking questions. The book is a must-read for people who are willing to reflect, plan, and implement positive changes towards discovering and sustaining their purpose.

John N. Zulueta

Executive Director, Bagong Pag-asa Charitable Foundation, Inc.

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A practical book that will help you discover yourself, find happiness in what you do, and make a lasting difference to your life and others."

Katrina Letargo

CEO, Moozen Core Consulting, Inc.

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Finding one’s passion is a longstanding mantra espoused by digital natives who are well exposed to global passion pursuits. Still, for some of them, it may simply mean, follow your heart. However, passion alone is meaningless unless it serves a meaningful purpose and becomes productive for the greater good.

Is This All There Is? offers a levelheaded perspective on pursuing passion that is equally about finding purpose, and only when these two come together are we able to achieve true productivity. It’s an exceptional read as it incorporates real life examples that make the insights all the more profound. Through this book, readers are pushed to dive deep into their own sense of being and emerge with a meaningful mission.

Christine C. Roa

President and owner, C.Roa Reinvented Marketing Services

Founder, South Kids International School

Author, Federic’s Flight: The Triumphant Travels of A Child With Autism (published in 2004)

Acknowledgement

As the reader will discover, a purpose is rarely achieved all by one’s lonesome. Along the way, the purpose-chaser will need the support of kindred spirits. This book attests to that.

This is my first book with Anvil Publishing. I am grateful to Ms. Xandra S. Ramos-Padilla for giving me this opportunity. I am truly honored to be a new member of Anvil’s stable of authors.

A big shout-out to senior editor Hannah Go! Thank you for challenging me to think more deeply on certain portions of the book. Is This All There Is? has become richer due to your inquisitiveness.

My deep appreciation to the rest of the Anvil team—Arianne and Jordan—who helped shape the book into its final form.

As always, it’s my darling wife Lucy who continues to inspire me to turn each book into a masterpiece. Thank you, my love, for giving me the time and space I needed to labor on the book. I don’t know where I will be right now without you.

Most of all, I thank our Lord Jesus Christ for the grace He has given us. May He use this book to guide countless people, especially those who are just starting their purpose journey, to live their best lives possible.

Introduction

A few years ago, I started receiving several emails from people going through quarter-life crises, asking questions like What do I do now? Did I make the right choice? I’m scared of the future . . . Today, I see more and more young people involved in praiseworthy advocacies, such as social entrepreneurship, HIV awareness, innovative education, just to name a few.

The message is clear: Many of these young people are not content with just drifting from day to humdrum day in mere existence. They want to make their lives count. They want to be involved in issues that matter. They want purpose.

But there are still many for whom purpose remains a hazy concept. Just exactly how can one find his or her purpose, anyway? Most of us tend to equate purpose with passion—follow what you love to do and you will find your purpose.

I love passion. I will be bored stiff without it. But I have also learned that there is more to life than passion.

This book is divided into two parts. Part one offers signposts that can help you discover your purpose, including scenarios that we don’t usually pay attention to. Sometimes it can be the case of the purpose finding you. Part two presents strategies for sustaining that purpose. We know that there are many great starters but poor finishers. As you continue in your life journey, you’ll soon realize that you need a support system if you want to be able to look back and say mission accomplished!

I must warn you. This is a book that will invite you not just to examine your feelings, but to think, to plan, and to reach out. It goes beyond the usual Venn diagrams, blank spaces to fill in and charts to fill out, and feel-good quotations to tweet or post. At some points, you will have to wrestle with who you really are. You will be warned of the realities of life. You will ask yourself if you have what it takes to fulfill your purpose.

But such is part and parcel of leading a meaningful life. Our visions must be refined, our hearts fortified. If we settle for shallow thinking and superficial emotions, we do so at our own peril.

So now, I invite you to turn the page and start your purpose journey.

I hope to see you at the finish line.

PART 1: Discovering Your Purpose

CHAPTER 1:

The Journey Starts with the Person at the Mirror

My dad’s been on a decline," sighed the young man sitting next to me.

His dad, Rick*, was one of my mentors in my first job as a factory engineer. When I first met him, he had already been in the industry for twenty years, having started out as a cadet engineer and rising to top-level management as technical director. But it wasn’t just about the sheer wealth of knowledge that lay between his ears. His experience was so rich that he could easily tell what was wrong with a machine just by hearing the sound it makes.

I remember one time a production line kept spitting out one defective product after another. My team and I were at our wits’ end trying to fix it. We eventually had to swallow our pride (although we really didn’t want to look like dummies in front of the plant manager) and consult Rick. He came over, brows furrowed as he began examining the defective piece from several angles. Check the compressor, he said after a few minutes. I think the air pressure has dropped, that’s why the product didn’t form properly. True enough, we spotted a leaking air pipe that was causing the trouble. We were so focused on the production machine, we forgot to think outside the box.

Rick clearly relished being the guru, whether it was on the shop floor, in the training room or in the boardroom. I can still picture him passionately sketching a production process on a white board and explaining the whys and the hows. It was like watching a world-class magician revealing his secrets to a privileged few. We realized that when we know the why, it’s much easier to play around with the how.

Rick also gave me advice beyond how to tinker with the nuts and bolts. He would tell me, Nelson, at the end of the day, management wants to know only one thing: did we make money or not? Another time he said: Nelson, when you have learned a lot, you will not only have knowledge. You will have wisdom.

Since I left that company, I’ve lost touch with Rick for about twenty years. But his insights have stayed with me and are serving me well even until now as I run two factories. It was only while attending a technical conference that I ran into his son Jake*. We were seated at the same round table, in between briefing sessions, when his facial resemblance and surname gave him away.

Do you know Rick dela Cruz? I asked.

His face lit up. Yes! He’s my dad!

I beamed and told him about the influence his dad had on my career. So how is he doing these days? I asked.

That’s when the young man sighed. His health’s deteriorated. He suffered a stroke. You know how much he loved to smoke and how out of shape he was. Fortunately, he’s not paralyzed or anything, but the doctors told him to avoid stress, otherwise a second stroke may kill him. So he was forced to retire. Now he sits around at his condo all day doing nothing, just staring into space. It’s actually made matters worse. He got clinically depressed and I’m afraid he might be getting Alzheimer’s.

Jake paused, a look of grief briefly flickering across his face. He thoughtfully remarked, I think my dad based his self-worth on being a technical director. When that was taken away from him, he could no longer see any reason to live.

We had to end our conversation on that sad note since the next speaker was up. It was an interesting presentation, but my mind was still on Rick, trying to reconcile my memory of a technical wizard at his prime with Jake’s picture of a hollow shell of the same man.

A few years later, that exchange crystallized into this principle: Our purpose journey starts with a growing idea of who we are. If you have a problematic view of yourself, you will become too absorbed with yourself and unable to make the most out of your life. Conversely, having a strong sense of who you are—at your very core—will help you figure out what you are meant to do. Then you will flourish, not flounder.

WHY START WITH IDENTITY?

Many of the popular resources on purpose or calling use a Venn diagram as a graphic tool to help people figure out what they’re meant to do with their life. If the term Venn diagram sounds vaguely like what you learned in your math class, that’s because it is, although it’s also used in other contexts. It’s basically made up of a few circles with one overlapping area. Chances are you’ve already seen one of these diagrams. One version has three circles covering these areas : what you are really good at, what you enjoy doing, and what the world needs. Some versions add a fourth circle: what people are willing to pay for.

Now imagine all three or four circles intersecting. That common area is where you will find your purpose. Some authors borrow the Japanese term ikigai to give it a deeper meaning. A Japanese friend told me that it literally means worth-living, which connotes the pursuit of meaning for one’s life.

While I find that approach very useful, it doesn’t really discuss the foundation of your purpose, which really boils down to identity. How you see yourself will affect pretty much everything—what you believe in, what you commit to doing, how you respond to different situations. In Rick’s case, he may have had all four circles: his competencies, his passion, his audience, and his livelihood. But when the foundation—his identity as a technical expert—collapsed, his four circles popped like soap bubbles. No wonder he lost his zest for life, not to mention a glorious alternative reality in which he becomes a mentor to the next generation of engineers.

I want to encourage you to build your identity not based on a role, but on something that transcends that role. That way, even if you set out to accomplish your purpose and end up falling flat on your face, your