God Only Knows: Can You Trust Him With The Secret?

By Joe Camp

Meet the ordinary but unqualified proof that you can accomplish whatever you want to accomplish in life, no matter how impossible it might seem. God planted that passion in your heart and will use it to make your life extraordinary. Against the odds. This is a riveting true story that dares you to dream.

Joe Camp showed his film to every studio in Hollywood and couldn’t get a distributor. Nobody wanted Benji. Nobody. Zero. The following summer Variety reported that the movie was the #3 box office gross of all movies for the year. In spite of all the folks who were so quick to say: You can’t do that! That’s impossible! Give up! Quit. Sit down. Shut up. Go away. If it could be done somebody would have done it already.

God’s hand at work. Up close and personal.

And what a story this book is as Joe Camp learns how every devastation that he believed to be surely the end of life as he knew it had to happen exactly as God orchestrated it or there never would’ve been a Benji. Or six Benji films. And there never would’ve been a bestselling book changing the lives of horses all across the planet. Or a second love of his life after his Carolyn was called home.

God Only Knows is a true story that reads like a spellbinding novel, emotionally involving and packed with suspense while totally shredding our resistance to fully trusting God with our every devastation so that we might see our adversities for what they are: God molding us, strengthening us, teaching us how to get past the multitude of obstacles that any worthwhile dream will throw at us.

“My fondest hope is that this book might inspire you to mount a white horse and charge off after things worthwhile, to reach for heights heretofore perceived as unreachable, to adventure into uncharted waters with passion, honesty and God by your side . . . and leave this world a better place for your effort.” --Joe Camp

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson
• Release date: May 19, 2020
• ISBN: 9781400329816

Joe Camp

Joe Camp, author, producer, director, passionate speaker, and the man behind the canine superstar Benji believes anything is possible if you work hard enough and trust in God. He was told not to bother with the original Benji film; that it wouldn’t work. It did. And he has now written, produced and directed seven theatrical movies and written 14 books that are turning the traditional thinking about God and horses on its head.  His fondest desire is to leave the world a better place than he found it.

Book preview

Introduction

Faith is such a weird thing.

By definition it demands that we believe in something we cannot see, feel, or touch.

Believe without question.

Often difficult for a thinking, logical brain.

But it really shouldn’t be. Logic and faith are very similar, both being relative to things we can see, feel, and touch.

Begin with logic. The brain bases logical assumptions on what we already know to be fact. Otherwise it’s not logic, it’s subjective notion. In other words before the application of logic can be of any value on a given subject the brain has to have built a knowledge base on the subject. Logic cannot work in a vacuum.

And neither can faith. Or at least neither should faith.

Because if faith is not built on a knowledge base it becomes subjective notion, just as logic does. Or blind faith.

Faith, true faith, like logic, has its foundation in assumptions based upon things we can see, feel, and touch. Knowns in other words.

For example, it would be difficult to apply logic to astrophysics if you have no bank of knowledge or experience on the subject upon which logical assumption could be built. So we must have faith in the astrophysicist, or in the scientific reasons why, for example, the earth circles the sun.

Either have faith or just not think about it at all.

But most folks who know nothing about astrophysics have faith that the science is true. That the earth rotates on it’s axis. And circles the sun. Why do they have faith? Because they see the result in their everyday lives. They experience day and night, winter and summer. So why should they dispute the reasons why? Or worry about understanding them? They just accept it. They have faith.

But it’s not blind faith because it’s based upon a set of knowns. A set of actual facts that these folks can see, and feel. There is day, and there is night. Winter and summer. And something must be causing it, right?

Ahhh… but do those same folks have faith that there is God?

Some of them, hopefully, but certainly not all of them.

Why not?

Could it be because they don’t see the results in their everyday lives, like seeing the results of the earth rotating on it’s axis? Or circling the sun?

Again, faith in God, or in anything, true faith, builds its strength upon logical assumption applied to actual knowledge. I see night and I see day. So the logical assumption is that earth must be rotating on an axis that causes my location to sometimes face the sun, other times not.

Likewise, my faith in God is based upon logical assumption applied to actual knowledge. Just as I see night and day, I see the physical results of God’s presence in my life.

Wait a minute Joe. What about the Bible?

What about it?

Isn’t that where your faith in God is supposed to come from?

My true, unshakable faith in God comes from a relationship that began when I handed my life over to God. A relationship that breeds results that I can see, feel, and touch everyday of my life.

Not from the Bible?

The Bible is a terrific book. A rich and wonderful book. An enlightening book. An inspired book. Inspired by God. But written by man.

Whoa! The Bible is God’s word.

But man wrote it, and unfortunately I only know of one man who lived a perfect life on this planet. No version of the Bible, no history book I’ve read, has ever said there was another. And no human writer worth his salt has ever written anything without a lot of rewrites focused on trying to make the end result better, more readable, more effective, more provocative, even if it means a little coloring here and there. A word change or two. An adjective added.

Where are you going with this?

Just acknowledging that man is imperfect. And has free will. And an ego.

The prophets?

God chose them. Just like Jesus chose the apostles. That didn’t work out too well with Judas, and Peter. And Biblical scholars acknowledge that Moses had faith and loved God but was imperfect. And when he wrote Genesis he was writing at least two thousand years after Adam lived, and before anyone except God knew the world wasn’t flat.

Oh my.

I have often imagined this conversation between God and Moses:

Moses, I need to chat with you.

Yes, God?

That last paragraph is really not what I said.

Same idea, God. It just has a bit more zing.

Joe, are you saying you do not believe the Bible as written?

I believe the essence as written. But do I believe that every word, every sentence, every paragraph is exactly as God said it and precisely as God meant it to be? No I really don’t.

But I don’t find it necessary to believe every word, exactly as written, to get God’s essence from the Bible. There are, for example, discrepancies throughout the various biographies of Jesus’ life. His quotes differ from writer to writer. And virtually every verse of the Bible differs from translation to translation. But they are substantively the same, and close enough. And the differences are easily explained away. Just think about how difficult it is to transcribe any dictation accurately, never mind recreating it long after it happened on a stone tablet or a piece of papyrus. Then imagine what happens through dozens and dozens of translations from several different ancient languages. With questions and concerns usually being voted on by a committee in Rome which is almost never unanimous. Difficult enough when the language is precise and specific, but then there are those broad, sweeping, poetic, allegorical pieces.

Like the creation?

Exactly.

You don’t believe God did it all?

Of course I do! How else could such a grand plan have gotten done? But did he create the heavens and the earth in a mere portion of a 24-hour day. I don’t believe He did, and I’m betting that if Moses had been writing it today, with all of the scientific data available on how things age, he would have written it differently. Where, I wonder, do the dinosaurs fit into the theory that the earth is only 6000 years old? No matter how close Moses was to God and how often he might’ve spoken with Him, God is still God and Moses is human. And a writer. Trying to lure readers. And, for me, the plan of how it all came together is way too intricate and too beautiful and too awesome for me to believe it wasn’t nurtured over time.

Who knows what a day was to God before there was even a sun? God is so vast and infinite and incomprehensible that, as C.S. Lewis said, God probably finds many mortal questions simply unanswerable; that asking if the reference in Genesis refers to a mere 24-hour day as we know it is probably like asking if the color yellow is square or round.

All of this, including my faith, was slow in coming. Mostly because of this dang logical brain I was supposedly blessed with. Blessed to a fault I’m told. Kathleen, my soul mate, wife, and chief editor, has often accused me of having a one-word vocabulary.

Whyyy?

I have written a lot about horses. About making their lives better, all across the planet. About how their genetic design is based upon their 52 million year journey on this planet and why that demands a certain lifestyle. A lifestyle that most domestic horses are unfortunately not living because of us. We humans.

And I have often been hammered about those 52 million years by folks who believe that the earth has only been around for a few thousand years.

That belief was born back before most people even knew the earth was round when several groups of Jewish scholars counted the generations detailed in the writings of the Bible - not counting those lost and eliminated by the ancient Jews. And the six-day creation was counted literally as 24-hour days, even before there was a sun to count the days.

Some still believe this is true. These folks drive the agnostics and the atheists crazy. And vice versa.

Both sides seem to be sadly missing what I consider to be the most important piece of the puzzle.

The minute I saw and physically experienced God working in my life, everything changed. I was no longer trying to apply logic in a vacuum. I was no longer getting hung up over inconsistencies in the Bible. My faith was no longer blind faith. Now it was based upon logical assumptions applied to actual knowledge.

Knowns.

That I can see, feel, and touch.

Like the earth rotating on its axis.

Or Hollywood’s blanket rejection of Benji when everyone already knew how well the public was going to react to it. Every studio, large and small, rejected the movie that wound up being the number three picture of the year. But it had to happen that way for you to have ever heard of Benji. And God didn’t leave it up to chance. Never mind that I thought my life was over. God felt no obligation at that moment to explain. He was just taking care of business.

Later it all became quite suddenly clear. An intellectual revelation. Or a slap in the face with a cold wet rag.

Unfortunately some folks seem to be missing that special moment when you realize that what you just witnessed was God in your life. Then it becomes personal. Then the essence of the Bible becomes truly beautiful, no longer contradictory. Or at least man’s contradictions no longer matter.

I realize now that God has always been working in my life. Even when I didn’t have a clue. But it’s when I finally saw it and opened up to a relationship with Him, when He became personal and I began to see exactly how He was working in my life that my world changed. A conversation began that will never end. I turned over my life to Him and a knowledge base began to grow that was accessible to logical assumption. Which sealed my faith forever as substantial, and true, not blind. Because I saw the results in my life, just as I see day and night, and winter and summer.

Absolute trust took a bit longer.

A lot longer actually.

But even when worry kept me awake nights, and when I was too conflicted or self-absorbed to listen, to see, the results were still there. God was still at it.

And that is what this book is all about.

1

Oh Me of Little Faith

I

was less than a mile away now, parked along the side of a road, fighting tears, giving serious consideration to turning back. I couldn’t face those who were waiting.

I needed more time. Five days were not enough, not nearly enough. What was I thinking when I said I’d do it?

It’s a big show. Millions of listeners.

I can’t do it. I should call and cancel.

These conversations with myself sometimes run on for hours. But I only had minutes before I was supposed to arrive, famous star at my side.

They said they were counting on me, although I couldn’t imagine why after last Friday. The past seven years were ricocheting around in my head like a fractured kaleidoscope. Fleeting glances of lawyers, cameras, animal shelters, excited moms, movie sets, hot sun, budgets, premieres. Seven years of it.

A long, agonizing, difficult seven years.

I had never worked so hard for anything in my life. There were rights to regain, a star to find, a script to write. And, oh yes, financing. And distribution. And all along the way the seeming tidal wave of enthusiastic support from parents everywhere.

We spent an entire year negotiating with three Hollywood studios, all of whom wanted to finance this movie, but we walked away from all three because they also wanted total control so they could take out the values and put in poop jokes, four-letter words, sexual innuendos, and violence. We raised the money privately so we could keep the movie family-safe. That is, God raised the money privately.

Yes, God.

I’m not a Bible-waving, in-your-face pressure cooker. Some of my friends are. Some are way too far the other way. But I’m me, and my relationship with God is vertical and continual forever. I am a Christian who believes that Christianity and the people who muddle it, camouflage it, and sometimes misrepresent it should not be confused with one another. My Christian relationship is with God, with Christ, not preachers, stone buildings with tall steeples, or erudite philosophies. And, for the record, I believe that Christianity, real at-the-root, bottom-line Christianity is about one thing and one thing only: love. And how can that be bad?

I toyed with my cell phone. In the passenger seat there were two big brown eyes gazing up at me. Unbelievably penetrating big brown eyes, wondering no doubt why we were just sitting in the car, by the side of the road, doing nothing. She knows when it’s about work and when it’s about play. And today was supposed to be a work day.

But there we sat. Me debating moi. To go or not to go.

I felt rejected. Tossed aside. I couldn’t seem to make the hurting stop. This was personal. It was more than just work and effort. I had struggled against all odds to make a movie that was filled, not only with good entertainment, but positive values. And we had apparently hit the bulls eye. The New York Times had called it a breath of fresh air. Leonard Maltin, Michael Medved, Ted Baehr, Roger Ebert and a host of others all loved it. Syndicated columnist Julia Szabo said If you want to raise humane, ethical kids, take them to see this movie. Test audiences all across the country responded in kind. Countless moms were telling us how their kids had taken away so much in terms of how to love and treat animals, and each other... and a mother in Florida wrote, this movie gives us a real opportunity to teach our children the importance of compassion and courage. And there was this Dallas critic who said, This story can be summed up in two words: unconditional love. Without being preachy and judgmental, this movie tells the story of a hero who’s not out for personal gain... a hero who wants those he loves to be safe and happy. Not a bad lesson.

I was so excited that everybody seemed to be getting it. That both the entertainment and the messages were hitting home. How could anything go wrong?

The green digital numbers on the dash panel flicked to the top of the hour. Now I was late. Three seconds and counting. We weren’t supposed to be on the air for half an hour. Still, it’s not right to be late. I looked at those big brown eyes sitting next to me, cocked with perplexed curiosity. What a great expression, I thought. I should remember how to create it for the next movie. Announce that we’re going off to work, then park by the side of the road for fifteen minutes, and voila! Perplexed curiosity. Where’s the camera?

Get a grip Joe!! You’re losing it!

Lost it.

Oh stop. Put the car in gear and move out. Your chance to bail is gone. They could not replace you now and you know it. Bite the bullet. Drive.

I reached for the gear shift.

Success was something we had grown used to. Variety had reported that our first movie was the number three picture of the year. In all, three Benji movies had been in the top 10% of box office results for their year of release. And this last one, the fifth, was the best we had ever made. Everyone said so. Everyone was certain it would do great. It would send a message to Hollywood that parents cared.

And then came opening day.

Benji Off the Leash hit the theaters.

And nobody came.

Well, almost nobody.

Where was God then?

Private investors had put up millions of their own funds. Doctors, lawyers, business people. Not zillion-aires. Just folks. Folks who had believed in Benji, and believed that keeping family movies family-safe was a worthwhile endeavor. And the way it looked at the moment, they could stand to lose the bulk of their investment.

Our fees would be lost as well, most of which were deferred until after the investors got their money back. And, because we had tied up so much in the film, our cookie jar was rapidly emptying. Nothing but crumbs.

I turned into the parking lot, found a place, and switched off the ignition. Benji was up immediately and ready to go. Engine off, Benji out. She knew the drill. But the door didn’t open. She waited impatiently, flaunting her new-found perplexed look. I wanted to chuckle, but it wouldn’t bubble up past the glob of concern. What was I going to do? I had to go in. It was too late to do anything else. But there was this problem. I was hurt, bitter, angry… and all those feelings were pointing at God.

The same God who had produced funding for the film, in record time, when I was convinced it couldn’t possibly happen. The same God who was in the driver’s seat from the get-go, paving the way, slamming doors, opening new ones, changing our direction, always for the better.

Truly amazing stuff had happened. Incredible stuff. Totally-blew-me-away kind of stuff.

But not on opening day.

I had intellectualized, rationalized, philosophized, and there was simply no way around it. God had blown a huge hole in my existence.

Or was never there in the first place.

Or I had no idea what.

And I was about to step into the studios of Hank Hanegraaff. The Bible Answer Man. Broadcasting to millions of Christians all over the country. Whatever would I say?

Benji was getting anxious. Are we getting out or what??

I snapped on her leash, opened the door, lifted her to the pavement, and began what felt like the longest walk of my life.

It’s in the tank, Hank, I blurted.

Those were the first words I ever spoke to Hank Hanegraaf. Then the dam broke and my eyes filled with tears. I could hardly speak to him. Nobody cares.

God cares, he said flatly. "He’s still in control. And He is in the miracle business."

The miracle business?

My faith was being tested, and I was coming up in the red.

God knows that if I had known this was how the movie would open I would’ve never started.

Exactly, Hanegraaff said. You would’ve never started. Much less made such a terrific movie.

He had taken his entire family to see it over the weekend.

But what’s the point?

It’s been playing for nine days. How many people have seen it?

I thought about it for a moment, did the math.

Maybe a million.

So a million people have already seen the movie. There’s one point. A million lives have been made better, have been changed, because of that movie. And God is not finished. You will look back some day and not even believe what all came out of this moment in time.

You mean I’ll look back and be able to see how much God had to slap me around to get me to listen?

That for sure, he grinned. And a whole lot more.

I smiled. A little.

For the first time in nine days.

Having no idea how true Hank Hanegraaf’s words would turn out to be. God was changing my entire direction. It was time to move on. To make a new difference.

And to trust Him. Completely. At last.

The Bible Answer Man was suddenly out of his chair grabbing my arm. Now let’s get into the studio and sell some movie tickets.

2

And There Was Light

Igrabbed

Carolyn’s hand as we stepped off the train. A nervous chill of anticipation skittered up my spine. People were rushing past us, anxious to get on with their morning, and we timidly tried to keep up. Someone spoke, and smiled, then spoke again and hurried off. The words meant nothing, but we smiled back just the same.

I was bristling with excitement. Gone were the miseries of the long, sleepless flight over. Gone were the first flashes of Milano, seen as a drowsy blur of television stations and newspaper reporters. Now, after a good night’s sleep on a long train ride, my senses were alive and tingling again and the whole feeling was like I had dozed off in Dallas and awakened here.

It was our first trip abroad and my first time out of the country except for three days in Nassau and a few hours in Juarez. So, maybe you can imagine. I mean, anywhere would’ve been terrific, but we weren’t just anywhere. We were in Rome!

The Eternal City. Born nine hundred years before Christ. Home of Cato, Nero, Constantine and the Caesars. A magical place where it is said, you can actually hear the breathing of the centuries; a state of mind for classical study and romantic dreams; a place that most of us only read about in books and see in movies. And here it was, coming at me as a splash of bright sunlight at the end of a crowded train terminal.

Rome. As in Italy.

We emerged into the Piazza del Cinquecento and it took our breaths away. Mouths agape, we stood for a long moment, feeling every bit like hillbillies come to town. Then suddenly my heart stopped.

There before me, across the piazza, ten thousand miles from home, forty feet wide on a huge billboard, was my small, scruffy notion of a dog conceived in the shower one morning back in Texas. Benamino! Our first movie was taking Rome by storm.

What an extraordinary feeling! The whole world seemed to grind to a stop. Everything froze in place for a moment as the realization sank in. We had been working incredibly hard, running, seemingly, at light speed for more than two years, raising money, writing script, shooting the picture, promoting, distributing. Always looking forward to the next problem, the next market, the next plateau; never really slowing down enough to look back at what had been accomplished. To fully realize, to absorb, to enjoy.

Somewhere behind us a woman shrieked. Carolyn and I spun around. A wave of humanity was surging, racing, screeching frantically toward the terminal entrance. I was certain that some terrible disaster had befallen us, until,