Impulsive

By Jessie L. Star

...but the words dried up as Lock unfolded himself from his chair and stretched, revealing every inch of a body so tight and defined that I was tempted to throw something at him just to see it ping off.

‘You must really like lifting heavy things,’ I said, and his lips parted lazily into a smile.

‘I’d lift lighter things, but then I wouldn’t look so hot.’

That surprised a laugh out of me. God, sexy and with a sense of humour about it, this guy was lethal.

***

Cleo is impulsive.

She’s spent her whole life lurching from one disaster to another, and after discovering that her ex is engaged to her housemate, she decides that enough is enough.

Moving in with her twin brother and his sex-on-legs workmate, Lock, she’s determined to start having second thoughts – maybe even third and fourth ones – and pull her life together.

A lifetime of impulsivity turns out to be a hard thing to overcome, however – especially when Lock never seems to be wearing a shirt when she’s around – and as Lock’s mysterious past re-emerges, Cleo discovers that a bit of impulse might be just what they both need.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jessie L. Star
• Release date: Mar 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463030189

Jessie L. Star

Jessie L. Star hails from a family of voracious readers and talkers who all relish in a good story and a well-crafted squabble. She was born in a small town in rural Australia and so learnt early the value of making her own entertainment—in her case, writing stories. This remains her favorite form of entertainment, along with reading too late into the night, having her heart broken on a regular basis by her football team, and pestering her long-suffering friends into watching the numerous TV shows she’s addicted to. Jessie started writing online as a teenager and developed her style with the aid of a cohort of brilliant readers who provided a lot of helpful and encouraging feedback. She won six awards on Some Kind of Wonderful (SKoW)—an original romance awards site—and was inducted into the Hall of Fame. Her first completed original story, So Much to Learn, has over 1.3 million views on Fictionpress.com. Jessie writes romance stories full of snark, banter, a smidgeon of heartache, and people, ultimately, falling in love. She lives in Tasmania.

Book preview

Chapter One

Im-pul-sive. Im-pul-sive. Im-pul-sive.

The word thumped out in time with my bare feet against the pavement, the voluminous, snow white explosion of my skirt providing a background swish of fury. It was a kind of music, but from a genre I was well and truly sick of hearing.

Just once, just once, I’d like to get through a day where I thought twice before doing something. A second thought at any point in the past six or so hours would’ve saved me from this don’t-step-on-anything-gross-ignore-the-people-staring-oh-god-I’ve-stolen-a-wedding-dress-worth-more-than-three-months’-wages stupidity.

For example, when my best friend, Kit, had called in tears saying that one of the models she’d booked to walk the catwalk at a wedding expo that day had just been violently ill into a top hat, my first thought had been: I’ll do it! The second, more rational, thought would’ve been: I’m not a model, I’ll help her find someone who is.

When Kit’s terrifying, stick insect-like boss had approached me with a corset-cum-torture device, my first thought had been: yikes, breathe in. The second, more rational, thought would’ve been breathe out, give yourself as much room as possible.

When I’d been ushered into place amongst the array of beautiful, actual models and the bright lights had lit up the runway before me, my first thought had been: eh, what the hell, might as well have some fun with it. The second, more rational, thought would’ve been: "keep your head down, get through it, do not shake your bum at the crowd".

When I did shake my bum at the crowd and, midway through a particularly enthusiastic shimmy, made eye contact with my ex, who was inexplicably cuddling my housemate, my first thought had been: "run". The second, more rational, thought would’ve been…

Actually, I don’t know. Hide, maybe? Brazen it out? Anything other than sprinting into the wings, flinging my needle-sharp heels off and bolting like a startled horse right out the fire exit onto the street.

Kit was going to kill me. Her boss was going to kill me. I wanted to kill me.

Why couldn’t I ever just think? When would I learn that instinct was not my friend?

And now what? I was marching down the street, holding up armfuls of the ridiculous dress, barely able to breathe, but to what end? Where was I going?

I slowed, some of my anger turning to dread and embarrassment as I realised that my only option was to go back. My bag, my car, my clothes, for god’s sake, were all back at the expo. But, oh, I did not want to return to the scene of my humiliation. The very last thing I wanted to do was see the guy who, if he hadn’t exactly broken my heart, had definitely dented it, snuggled up with the girl I’d been living with for the past six months. I mean, I thought she had a fiancé, why was she…?

I came to a dead stop as the penny dropped.

My housemate, Micaela, was at a wedding expo and she had a fiancé, so it stood to reason that Micaela was at a wedding expo with her fiancé. Who was my ex. Who was going to move in with us the following week.

Except her fiancé was called Sy and he’d been living interstate, which was why I’d never met him, whereas my ex was called Simon and…okay, I had no idea where he lived these days.

Simon. Sy. Ah.

A loud rapping noise brought me back to myself and I looked up and into the greasy window of the tuck shop before me to see, of all people, my twin brother, Jav, his knuckle against the glass.

‘What the fuck are you wearing?’ he mouthed at me.

I like my brother, once or twice a year there may even be an occasion that warrants an admission that I love him, but I don’t think I’d ever been so glad to see him as I was in that moment. I nearly cried in relief.

Ignoring his question, I hitched my skirts still higher and marched through the plastic ribbons in the doorway. Trying to give an Emperor’s New Clothes impression to the other customers that there was absolutely nothing unusual about my attire and that their stares were entirely unwarranted, I nevertheless managed to get my skirts caught up in every chair I passed. Their legs scraped along the tiled floor so that I made a new discordant tune as I moved.

Needless to say, Jav’s expression when I finally reached him, was practically aglow with glee.

‘Is there something you forgot to tell me?’ he asked, leaning back and slurping at a carton of iced coffee as I wrestled the final chair out of my Venus Flytrap skirts and plopped down onto it. ‘Something you forgot to invite me to, perhaps?’

‘I–’ I started to say, before my eyes landed on the guy lounging in a seat across the chip-strewn table from my brother and I instantly forgot every word I knew other than ‘phwoar!’

He was sex on legs, an expression I’d never really understood before, but which I was suddenly fully on board with. If sex were ever to sprout legs and start walking around, it’d definitely look like this guy. He was tanned, with tousled dirty blond hair long enough to curl at his jawline and a look in his gold and green eyes that told you he’d take you six ways to Sunday and you’d enjoy every second of it. There was also something in the state of his black jeans, off white t-shirt and leather jacket that suggested travelling and dust and months spent out on the open road with only a pocket full of condoms to see him through.

His lips quirked as he saw me staring and I jerked my gaze back to my brother.

‘I need to move in with you.’

Even distracted as I was by the mysterious hottie, I knew this to be true. I’d had no issue with living with Micaela’s fiancé when I’d thought he was just some random. Now, however, not so much. I knew Kit would probably take me in, but her place was tiny and funded in part by her dad who unabashedly hated me, so that was a nonstarter. My gran lived too far out of the city, and my mum and her buddies, when not on tour, pretty much lived in a commune for the musically gifted and I was only musically adequate. No, pretty much my only hope for emergency accommodation was my brother. How depressing.

‘Cool.’ Jav grinned. ‘Will you be bringing the groom with you, or…?’

‘I’m being serious.’

‘Then your outfit choice was a mistake.’

I scowled at him, the relief I’d felt at first seeing him starting to fade.

‘Spare room. Do you still have it?’

‘No.’

I blinked. I’d helped Jav move into his new place only a few months back, finally getting him out of our gran’s house in the sticks and into the city now that he was getting solid wages as a bartender at a club called 327. Although I knew he’d been pretty desperate to find someone to share the rent with, I was surprised he’d already found someone willing to put up with his anti-social hours and barely house-trained behaviour.

‘Who the hell was stupid enough to enter into a lease agreement with you?’

In the manner of a magician introducing his lovely assistant, Jav used both hands to gesture towards his table companion of sex legs fame.

‘Behold, Lock, the new bouncer at work and the man stupid enough to enter into a lease agreement with me. Lock, behold my twin, Cleo, the woman apparently also stupid enough to want to enter into a lease agreement with me.’

‘Your twin?’ Lock – of course he had a cool name – spoke up, looking between Jav and me, and, yeah, okay, he was far from the first person to be surprised.

I was a red head with every stereotype that came with it; blue-eyed and with freckled skin so pale I could get sunburnt in a windowless room. Jav, on the other hand, while just as pale, was sans freckles and his face was defined by the two bold slashes of his eyebrows that matched his equally dark hair and eyes.

‘Non-identical,’ Jav explained helpfully and I rolled my eyes.

‘Yeah, he’d probably figured. Isn’t your place a three bedder?’

‘Two bedrooms and a cupboard.’

‘I’ll take the cupboard.’

Jav’s thick eyebrows rose. ‘Christ, you are desperate. What’s brought this on? I thought you liked sharing with Micaela?’

‘I did, right up until I found out, while shaking my wedding dress-clad behind at her on the catwalk, that she’s engaged to my ex.’

Jav opened his mouth, then closed it again, opened it, then closed it and then shook his head so that his stylishly un-styled hair flopped across his forehead.

‘Nope, there are too many things to say what? to in that. You’ll have to start at the beginning.’

‘Okay,’ I said slowly, suddenly wary, ‘but let’s make something clear up front. Kit’s in this story and I know that any mention of her directs your blood out of your head and down to your crotch, so let me reiterate before I bring her back onto your root radar, she is never going to sleep with you. Not ever.’

Far from looking chastised, Jav grinned again.

‘The lovely Ekaterina is never off my root radar, she’s always blipping away on it somewhere.’

‘Never, ever, ever,’ I repeated. ‘She has zero interest in seeing you naked.’

This was a lie and we both knew it. My best friend had never been good at hiding her crush on my brother.

Jav gave me a look that asked who exactly I thought I was kidding. ‘She definitely wants to see me naked, but I promise I won’t be so inspired by you mentioning her that I run off to immediately fulfil her wildest dreams. Good enough?’

No, not really. What I wanted was for him to promise to not even look at Kit ever again, but, as I was the one asking for a favour, I reluctantly let it drop.

As I began to explain the circumstances that had led to my sudden and dire need for alternative accommodation, I was hyper aware of three things:

Every person, and they were mostly of the male persuasion, who entered the tuck shop, stared unabashedly at me in my massive dress. This may have been because;

My boobs, uninspiring as they usually were, had been wedged up so high by the beaded corset that there was a genuine risk they’d pop right out as I talked, which;

Didn’t seem to have escaped Lock-Sex-on Legs’ notice.

He wasn’t being creepy about it, or anything; I didn’t feel ogled, but I did feel…well, a little bit like I was now on his root radar.

I snuck a quick glance at him as I got to the so I put my hand up to be a model part of the story, wondering if I’d see disbelief in his expression, but he just continued to regard me with the same interested and vaguely amused look he’d worn ever since I’d first bustled over to them. Typically, however, Jav was less restrained.

‘A model? You?’ he spluttered. ‘What was the brief? Miss Skinny No Tits?’

Yes, that was pretty much exactly what they’d needed to fit the dress. Still, I was well within my rights to haul back and punch Jav as hard as I could on the arm.

He rubbed at the sore spot ruefully, and I continued my tale of woe. I tried to downplay the impetuousness that had been key to the royal clusterfuck of a day I’d had so far, but I could tell by Jav’s smirk that it hadn’t escaped his notice.

‘I’m so glad you’re my sister,’ he said when I’d finished. ‘You make my bad life decisions look so much better in comparison.’

Jav had been AWOL a fair bit recently, I felt like I’d barely seen him since I’d helped him move. That remark made it obvious why, other than a few texts querying where he’d got to, I hadn’t worked too hard to track him down. Brothers are a pain.

‘As always, thanks for your support.’

‘Anytime. So, how did your old buddy, Singed Simon, react?’

‘Don’t call him that,’ I snapped, flicking another look at Lock that I meant as a reminder that he should keep his mouth shut, but that Jav took as an invitation to explain where my ex had got his nickname from.

‘Cleo set her ex-boyfriend’s bedroom on fire.’

I reddened beneath the thick makeup I’d had slathered on me earlier that day. In fact, the foundation was at risk of sliding off my hot face entirely as Lock gave me a long, steady look and remarked, ‘Lucky him.’

Good lord.

I’d grown up on various rock tours with my sound engineer mum, so I wasn’t a stranger to men in leather jackets and snug jeans who only spoke in flirt. In that moment, however, I had to admit I wasn’t immune to them either.

Jav broke the moment with a hiccupping noise of amusement.

‘This isn’t a they worked their way through the karma sutra sort of thing, she literally set his bedroom on fire.’

‘The curtains had to be replaced, and some light structural work was required,’ I hastened to explain, too flustered to look directly at Lock so directing my words to a point somewhere over his left shoulder. ‘It wasn’t as bad as Jav’s making it sound.’

‘Not according to poor old Singed Simon. The way he told it, you were trying to kill him.’

‘Such an exaggeration. He wasn’t even home at the time.’

‘Yeah, the fact that you broke in before you set his house on fire makes it so much better.’

‘I didn’t–’ I protested shrilly, before taking a deep breath, counting to three, and explaining more calmly, ‘Look, here are the facts: I’d been going out with Simon for about six months and, after he’d been away for a few weeks on a work trip, I thought it’d be nice for him to return home to a romantic dinner. I used the key he kept under the mat and let myself in to surprise him.’

‘Which, to be fair, you definitely did,’ Jav interjected.

‘I opened the window in his bedroom because it was a bit musty, lit some candles and went to cook him dinner.’

‘Meaning she opened a jar of sauce and cooked some pasta.’

‘And the wind blew the curtain onto the candle. And, yes, I know you should never leave a candle unattended and, yes, I know the fire was technically my fault, but Simon acted like I’d done it on purpose.’

‘The guy came home to find that you’d set his place on fire, you can’t blame him for chucking you. Still, he wasn’t any great loss, you know you were just gutted to have lost your Mr Conventional.’

Jav seemed to feel it was necessary to throw me completely under the bus in front of Lock and, had I been wearing shoes, I would’ve kicked him until his shins were black and blue.

‘Cleo has this perfect guy fantasy she made up when she was a kid where she reckons she’s going to fall in love with a suit guy who works office hours and makes lists and plans and is scared of loud noises.’ Jav gave Lock a frank look up and down and announced, ‘So, you’re safe from her, mate. Just as well, I don’t want her burning our place down to prove how much she loves you or whatever.’

I bunched my hands into fists under the table. ‘Can I just make it clear at this point that I don’t burn down people’s houses as an expression of affection?’

‘You say that, but–’

‘The point,’ I said loudly over the top of my annoying little brother (by all of 15 minutes, but it still counts), ‘is that, less than 18 months since we broke up, Simon has managed to meet, fall in love with and propose to Micaela before buggering off interstate and leaving me to unwittingly move in with her. Now he’s back and so I’d very much like to crash in your cupboard for a while until I find somewhere else to live, okay? I’ll pay a third of the rent and, given you’re basically nocturnal, you’ll probably never even see me.’

‘A third of the rent does sound good…’ Jav began, but Lock said,

‘Mate,’ in a way that clearly meant no.

Jav shrugged. ‘Yeah, all right. Less than a third because you probably won’t even be able to fit your bed in that room, but equal on the electricity and stuff.’

‘Deal.’ I held out my hand and Jav shook it. ‘Great, that’s one favour out of the way,’ I said brightly, and he narrowed his eyes.

‘You make it sound like you’re going to ask for more.’

‘Yeah, well, I left everything at the expo, didn’t I? And if you love me as much as you said you did that time I drove around for hours trying to find you when you got lost walking home from that party…’

‘You can’t hold the words of a drunk man against him.’

‘And yet. I’m going to need you to go to the expo, find Kit, not have sex with her,’ I added as his expression brightened, ‘get my stuff, drive my car back here and then help me cart all my worldly possessions round to yours, piece of cake.’

‘But that’s gonna take all afternoon!’

‘We all do things for each other in this family,’ I said primly, quoting one of our gran’s favourite expressions, one that usually meant "and, in this instance, it’s you doing something for me".

Jav groaned, but obediently chugged down the rest of his coffee and got to his feet as I gave him instructions on how to get into the expo and where to find Kit. He was just about to head off when Lock looked up from his phone.

‘I could give you a lift to yours and help you start to pack, if you like, and then Jav could meet us there.’

‘That’ll work,’ Jav said, just as I shook my head.

‘Thanks, but don’t worry about it.’

‘What?’ my brother protested. ‘How come it’s all mush-mush for me, but thanks, but no thanks for him?’

‘Because you’re genetically required to help me move and Lock and I just met five minutes ago,’ I said through gritted teeth.

‘It’s no hassle,’ Lock said and Jav pointed at me.

‘There you are, then. I’ll meet you at yours.’

Despite plenty of evidence to the contrary, Jav wasn’t a complete idiot and I was fairly sure he knew exactly how unsettling I found my new housemate. There was definitely an amused twinkle in his eye as he pulled the headphones he constantly wore around his neck up over his ears and left Lock and me to it.

‘Honestly, you don’t have to–’ I tried again to let Lock off the hook, but the words dried up as Lock unfolded himself from his chair and stretched, revealing every inch of a body so tight and defined that I was tempted to throw something at him just to see it ping off.

‘You must really like lifting heavy things,’ I said, and his lips parted lazily into a smile.

‘I’d lift lighter things, but then I wouldn’t look so hot.’

That surprised a laugh out of me. God, sexy and with a sense of humour about it, this guy was lethal.

He stepped back, gesturing for me to lead the way as I loaded my arms once more with my skirts and headed back out onto the street.

Somewhere along the line, I’d apparently hit the age where people I’d dated were old and grown up enough to be asking people to marry them. This freaked me the hell out; I hadn’t even really started to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, let alone who I wanted to do it with. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on how far behind on the adult curve I was.

I was going to move in with Jav and the sex god currently at my back, that was step one. Then, I was going to pull my life together. No more impulsiveness for me, my self-esteem just couldn’t bloody afford it. I was determined to start having second thoughts. Maybe even third and fourth ones. Then everything would be…

Lock had drawn to a stop and, as I looked down the narrow alleyway we stood at the entrance of, I wondered if I’d never get to discover whether I even had it in me to have third or fourth thoughts because I was about to be murdered.

Then I saw the motorcycle.

‘You’ve got to be kidding.’

I looked at Lock, saw that he was not kidding, and sighed.

‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this dress is making me wider than I am tall. There is more material in the skirt alone than I’ve probably worn in my entire life so far. If I get on that,’ I gestured at the battered motorbike that, frankly, didn’t look road-worthy, ‘this gauzy stuff is going to get caught in the wheels and I’m not only going to die, I’m going to die naked.’

‘A parting gift to your fellow man?’ he suggested, and I gave him a sidelong look that made him smile.

‘I’ve got some guy ropes in the pannier,’ he suggested after a moment. ‘We could sort of…truss you up if you like? Tie your skirts up out of the way?’

‘Yes, that sounds very dignified.’

He flicked his eyes down then quickly away from my bare feet and the ungainly way I’d hiked layers of material practically up to my armpits and I blew another heavy breath through my lips, acknowledging the point he was trying not to make. ‘Fine, truss away. What good’s my dignity if I’m dead, right?’

I marched down the alley and then eyed the bike, unsure how to approach climbing aboard.

‘Here.’ Lock stepped forward, holding his hand out to me.

After only the briefest hesitation, I took it, his grip strong and sure as he helped me on.

Once I could use the tips of my toes to steady myself, he worked quickly to secure the dress around my body with the rope. He smelt all spicy and warm, I realised as he leant close to cinch me in. It was a tingly scent that went some way to distract me from my embarrassment.

Once I felt confident that some errant wisp of fabric wasn’t going to cause my nude demise, he passed me his helmet, brushing away my concerns when I pointed out that it meant he’d go without. We didn’t have far to go, otherwise I would’ve protested more, but, honestly, he seemed kind of glad to let his hair whip free. Well, of course he did, you could practically see the lyrics to Born to be Wild scrolling behind his eyes.

And then we were off, my body unavoidably plastered to his, the wedding dress fluttering.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve had some weird days in my life, but this one had easily just hit the top five.

Casey

I’m just putting it out there that you’ve been back

for over a month, Davey, or Lock, or whatever

you’re calling yourself these days and we’ve not

seen jack of you

Ibrahim

subtle as always

Casey

Screw subtle. Either tell us where you are, or

we’ll come find you. You’re on notice, Davey

Lock

Noted.

Casey

Don’t you one-word, passive-aggressive full stop

me, buddy. We’re your best friends, it’s been six

years, we’re due a bit of bloody face to face time

Lock

Christ, Case, I’m not being pass-agg, I’m

just busy at the sec

Ibrahim

doing what?

Lock

Watching a hot pyromaniac in a wedding

dress invite herself to live with me

Casey

What?

Ibrahim

cool

Chapter Two

It wasn’t my first time on a motorbike, but it was my first time on a motorbike with my hair up in a tight bun that banged uncomfortably against the overlarge helmet and with half a tonne of fluffy skirt tied around me like I was a roast about to go in the oven. To call it uncomfortable was an understatement, and I was genuinely concerned I’d cause an accident considering all the rubber-necking fellow road-users were doing as we passed them.

However, after the initial awkwardness of practically hugging Lock-sex-on-legs had passed, it was something of a balm to feel his strong chest beneath my fingers. With my vision, smell and hearing hampered by the helmet, the feel of his leather jacket, soft and worn, and the ridges of his muscles beneath his cotton t-shirt was both reassuring and, yes, a little bit thrilling.

Any thrill faded, however, as we pulled up outside the tiny railway cottage I’d lived in for the past six months and I saw Micaela’s car on the street.

‘On the one hand, it’s good that Micaela’s here because I don’t have my key,’ I said, as Lock helped me clamber to solid ground and I pulled his helmet from my head. ‘On the other hand, it’s bad because–’

‘You set her fiancé’s house on fire?’

I sighed. ‘Bedroom. Accidentally. But, yeah.’

Lock was wearing an enigmatic little smile as he propped his bike and started to unhook the guy ropes from around my dress. Unfortunately, he’d only had time to release two of the straps, with two to go, when I heard the front door open.

‘Cleo?’

‘Oh, hi, Micaela.’ I tried for a jaunty, unconcerned wave, but could tell her attention was firmly focused on the man currently crouched at my feet or, perhaps, on the ropes he was removing.

‘Steady,’ Lock murmured as Simon appeared in the doorway behind her and I shifted uneasily, tightening the spring he was working to release.

‘Simon.’ My voice was a whole octave higher than I intended it to be, but in contrast, his was a lot lower than I remembered, heavy with exasperation as he replied,

‘I go by Sy now.’

‘Yep, figured that out a whole six months too late.’

I knew it seemed like my brittleness was directed at Simon, but, actually, I was angrier at myself in that moment. Really, how had I not known my housemate was engaged to my ex? I wracked my brains, trying to think of the times Micaela had mentioned Sy, but, honestly, she just hadn’t talked about him much, it was one of the reasons I’d considered her such a good housemate. Even her phone background was of her family cat, not the man she was going to marry.

Lock removed the last of the straps that’d kept me from being pulled to my death under the motorcycle wheels, and I busied myself rustling the skirts back out to their voluminous width.

‘I like your dress.’ Micaela’s round, pale face was often earnest, but she looked like she was concentrating extra specially hard on being polite in that moment. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for her fiancé.

‘It’s not yours, though, is it?’

I narrowed my eyes at my ex-boyfriend, crisp as always in a neat pair of dark blue jeans and a V-necked grey jumper, and with his arm almost protectively across Micaela’s shoulders.

‘I’m going to give it back.’

‘Do the actual owners know that?’ Simon gave Micaela a squeeze. ‘I told you this is what she’s like.’

I didn’t know what he was having such attitude about, he wasn’t the one having to move out.

Seeking a distraction from my growing temper, I gestured behind me to where Lock was tucking the last of the ropes back into his pannier. ‘This is Lock, by the way. He’s going to help me get my stuff together and then I’m going to move in with him and Jav.’

Lock raised a lazy hand in greeting and, as Micaela and Simon gave him a proper look up and down, I felt the tiniest twinge of smugness. I may have returned home looking like a complete idiot, but at least I was accompanied by the sexiest man I suspect any of us had ever had the good fortune to lay eyes on.

‘And you’re…?’

Lock tucked back some of his hair as he considered Simon, and I saw my ex’s mouth pinch. He’d always disapproved of men with longer hair.

‘My boyfriend,’ I said suddenly, taking a couple of steps back and sliding an arm around Lock’s waist. A split second passed and then, to my immense relief, he unquestioningly threw an arm across my bare shoulders in return, the leather of his jacket sleeve warm and supple against my skin.

Like someone planning a diet edging out the timeline for eating healthily, I silently promised myself that I’d start to think things