Best Day Ever: The Inspiring Life and Legacy of Jesse Rotholz

By Jim Rotholz

Best Day Ever is the story of one young man's unique and enduring impact on the world through a life of deep faith and uninhibited love. This is a story about discovering God's redemptive presence and purposes in the most devastating of circumstances. Beginning with a grieving father on a heart-sick quest to find some meaning behind his son's tragic death at the age of 32, the book details how he comes to recognize the purposeful hand of God actively fashioning hope from hardship and redemption from ruin. This book stands as a testament to faith's power to illuminate a path of healing and promise that leads beyond even the darkest night. It is a poignant account of Jesse's purpose-filled life and compelling legacy - the precious gifts he left behind - and the evidence they provide that God is sovereignly and lovingly shaping the details of all our lives to perfectly align with his greater purposes. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jim Rotholz
• Release date: Feb 7, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393772675

Jim Rotholz

Jim Rotholz has a varied background that includes five years working in missions and international development in Somalia, Ethiopia, and Nepal, and a short tenure as Assistant Professor of Anthropology at Washington State University. He is the author of two previous books, Walking the Spirit (2004) and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Christianity, and Culture (2002). He and Louise, his inspiring and adventurous wife of thirty-five years, currently reside in the mountains of northern New Mexico.

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PREFACE

True wealth is measured by what cannot be lost. – Jesse Rotholz

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Jesse celebrating life near Pahoa on the Big Island.

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he events surrounding the early and tragic death of our son Jesse rebooted our whole world. Lost in grief, I initially found a bit of hope and solace from reading the mounting number of tributes offered soon after his passing. The more I read, the more I realized that his life represented something very special to people, especially people of faith. That something, it turned out, was pure inspiration. The more I delved into who Jesse was, what he believed and, most importantly, how he lived his few years upon this earth, the more I too became inspired. That inspiration eventually became a compelling motivation to write a book about his remarkable life that could be more widely shared.

If you are not a reader or simply cannot endure my homespun style of writing, please go straight to Chapter Six and dive into the wonderfully inspiring things friends, acquaintances, and even complete strangers said about Jesse. That chapter is the heart of this book, and you can read bits and pieces now and then and still grasp the profound impact he had on so many. I’ve highlighted salient statements within each contribution to facilitate moving more quickly through the sheer volume of entries, mostly taken from Jesse’s memorialized Facebook account. If you fail to find anything less than inspiring among the many pages of moving tributes and testimonies…well, perhaps it’s time to check for a pulse. The tributes not only wonderfully reflect who Jesse was, but also offer insightful perspective into what’s really important in life – what moves and encourages people the most in others they meet. That which stirs the human heart at its deepest level provides a blueprint of sorts for what God has imprinted there to guide us all forward on our life’s journey. As Proverbs tells us, God has put eternity in the human heart (Eccl 3:11). In Jesse, people glimpsed a slice of God’s eternity.

The non-tribute chapters are written to fill in the blanks of who Jesse was: his personality, background, worldview and theology, and what moved him to wholeheartedly follow God while devoting himself to a life of unconditional love toward others. The final two chapters attempt to make the lessons of his life applicable to everyone by asking what its ultimate meaning might be and what we can draw from it to better live our own. I hope that whoever spends their precious time reading even a part of this book will find but a portion of the inspiration I found writing it. Jesse was an exceptional young man with a profound message and a uniquely uplifting way about him. I would be delighted if I can but partly succeed in accurately presenting it to the world he so dearly loved.

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INTRODUCTION

The Day of Reckoning

We prayed for a miracle and we got it, because all along – the miracle was you. - Felicia Juscak

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Ken Cardoza with Jesse at the Queens SICU in Honolulu.

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he day dawned bright and warm in Honolulu, much like any other late February day in Hawaii. But it was far from normal for the patient in Room 461 in the Queens Medical Center SICU. For Jesse Rotholz it was a day like no other – his day of reckoning. After a tedious and costly effort to save his life, Jesse’s doctors had decided ten days earlier that there was no longer any hope for recovery. On the brink of death when he first arrived at Queens more than five months earlier, now they were simply trying to let the long and futile battle end as humanely as possible. We, the family, had agreed with the doctors that Jesse’s breathing tube should be removed. Other life support systems had already been withdrawn in a heart-wrenching strategy to end his losing struggle with the complications of cerebral malaria, contracted on a three-month mission outreach to Uganda. All human efforts had failed; divine intervention remained the only hope.

Once family and friends arrived on the morning of his extubation, they surrounded Jesse’s bed as he submitted meekly to the removal of his breathing tube, trusting as ever in his Savior. All day and into the evening, loved ones prayed and serenaded him with hymns, believing for the miracle that would defy all explanations but God. At first Jesse was able to maintain good oxygenation, but it was obvious that breathing was a struggle. Every time friends from afar prayed over him by speakerphone held up to his ear, his breathing and oxygenation responded. But as time wore on, his decline became obvious, and soon after midnight the brutal battle waged within his previously athletic young frame ended his brief but memorable sojourn among us. Fervent prayers of resurrection did not reverse the inexorable separation of body from spirit, unleashing a flood of tears and grief for those left behind. Our beloved Jesse was gone, departed for mysterious realms beyond. At that point, those of us who knew and loved him began our own journeys to make sense of the tragedy that took one so young, violently erasing the promise of a bright and purpose-filled future that would match his fervent faith, numerous talents, and tremendous motivation to make a significant and lasting difference in the world.

There is simply no way to overstate the depth of grief and anguish that followed for Jesse’s mom, sister, and me in the weeks and months to follow. Likewise, friends and acquaintances felt emotionally devastated. His death forced its way upon us like some massive glacier that imperviously ground away the landscape of our lives. It inauspiciously peeled away every vestige of what previously seemed lovely, hopeful, and good in life – uncaringly scraping its way down to the very bedrock of our souls, then mercilessly scouring our hearts. Jesse’s death seemed to upend our collective sense of identity, security, and faith in the goodness of life and the presence of a benevolent God.

Where in the world was this supposedly sovereign God amidst all the suffering and destruction?  Where exactly was our Jesse now that he had been unwillingly wrestled from this world, as a lion would drag away its helpless prey into the bush? Who were we now that our only son and brother had been brutally wrenched from our lives, in the process pulling out decades-old tangles of roots that once integrated us into a vibrant family? What use was the future now that the sphere of our worlds had been irreparably punctured, with what we knew of joy and beauty sucked out into a dark, foreboding silence bereft of his sweet voice? How are those of us left in the wake of his death to rid our psyches of the horrendous images of fifteen operations and the extreme suffering they entailed – all of which Jesse endured in the vain hope that they might eventually lead to recovery? Life as we knew it died with my son. So what was the point of going on when the one we nurtured in love for so long lay frozen in death, with the last desperate attempts to catch a breath etched upon his lifeless face – once so beautiful from the love and joy that shone undiminished from it?

Within this dark night of the soul, there remained for me one final, persistent question that came to dominate all others: What was the ultimate meaning of my son’s abbreviated life? Now that it was forever over (a thought that will always feel inherently wrong at the deepest level), I am determined to know both intellectually and emotionally that however short Jesse’s life was, it had purpose and meaning in the larger scope of things.

Based as it is upon atheistic philosophy, naturalism would tell us there is no real meaning to Jesse’s life – or anyone else’s for that matter – except that which we project onto it out of our own needs. Yet if God exists and the historic Jesus revealed God’s true character and intentions for humankind, then somewhere in the mix there has to be meaning in my son’s shortened life. It should be specific to who Jesse was as a unique individual, yet universally applicable – for all of us live but a fleeting handful of years before death comes calling. And who among us is ever prepared for its grim visitation?

The Bible teaches that each of our lives has unique and undeniable meaning in God’s greater purposes for the fate of the world and the created order that shares our mortality (Rom 8:19-23). What we can find of the uniqueness of Jesse’s life should then naturally fit into that larger pattern of God’s finely tuned plan of redemption for the whole universe – a plan that culminates in the coming of the King and his kingdom at the end of the ages. We are all participants in the same divine process, whether willingly or otherwise (Prov 16:4). None of our lives can possibly have a shred of meaning outside of God and his redemptive purposes. To grasp what that specifically means for Jesse’s life – and the rest of us by extension – we need to look at the nature and character of God, whose ways among humankind can only be understood in reference to who he is.

Though motivated to find the meaning of my son’s life, this book is not about me. It is most pointedly about Jesse, and I hope it will honor him in a significant way. But a book about Jesse is also necessarily a book about Jesus, whom he doggedly followed and joyously shared with the world he loved so much – a world that, despite the completely broken state of his body, he was so reluctant to leave. By detailing Jesse’s background, behaviors, and beliefs, as well as the poignant thoughts and impressions of those who knew him, it should become abundantly clear that he came to a point in his life where his sole purpose was to intimately know and enjoy God, and to joyously make him known to whoever crossed his path (reflecting Youth With a Mission’s motto: To know God and to make Him known). I hope that the meaning and message of Jesse’s abbreviated life might convey to others the same source of inspiration that led him to forsake all else to wholeheartedly embrace and intimately engage a loving God whose ways, though many times inscrutable, are inevitably and irrefutably good and right. If I put aside my grief and listen, I can almost hear Jesse’s cheerful voice echoing that of the Psalmist as he confidently declared, As for God, his way is perfect (Ps 18:30).

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CHAPTER ONE

Faith Under Fire

You are a reflection of the Jesus whom I love. I saw you: day in and day out live it. I can’t imagine a better picture of love. Of faith. Of forgiveness. Of healing. I had never seen such a perfect picture of undying love before. …Love never fails. Love never gives up! And that’s what I see modeled by you – even as you are resting on your hospital bed. - Abigail Coats

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Jesse always found a way to communicate his message in spite of long and frustrating months of intubation.

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he amount of suffering Jesse endured during the last five and a half months of his life is impossible to quantify. The transfusion of more than seven hundred units of blood products over that period was just one indicator of the severity of his case and the ravaging effects that the initially unrecognized and untreated malaria had on his body. Repeated surgeries, medical procedures, and inadequate nutrition had a cumulative effect that made him appallingly thin and weak. He nearly died on several occasions, prompting doctors to call for last rites to be performed, only to miraculously pull through each crisis before inexorably moving toward the next one. The repeated procedures tore through his body like a series of harsh winter storms, each assault leaving more and more devastation in its wake. The Queen’s medical team told Louise they had never seen anyone go through so much for so long and not succumb. He constantly faced and overcame overwhelming odds, yet never moved far from death’s door during the long, emotional ordeal. The best prognosis the doctors ever offered was, It’s day to day.

Jesse’s Finest Hour

Some said we were witnessing the miraculous in Jesse’s ability to stay alive at all. Others felt his strong faith kept him above all the suffering, as though he had attained a mystical level of transcendence that negated the pain and trauma. Yet no one would think the same about Jesus, whose suffering was gruesomely real in spite of his divinity. Jesse was, in fact, hypersensitive to pain – a trait evident in early childhood. During blood draws or inoculations, he would usually faint, while at times he became almost hysterical when he sustained a significant wound.  Although he learned to better control those hyper responses, Jesse remained averse to hospitals and medical procedures, and avoided them however and whenever possible. That he was attracted to Christian mystics who employed their spirituality to cope with and conquer their own life struggles was at least partly based on his hypersensitivity and the anxiety that pain and injury caused him. I well recognized this orientation in Jesse, because I have it myself.

I mention the hypersensitivity for one purpose only: to show that the unwavering trust and faith Jesse put in God during those tortured months in the ICU was quite remarkable, given his strong aversion to needles, procedures, and hospitals. In a way, it was his finest hour, for oh how he longed to be free of the confinement of the ICU and the tangle of tubes and machines that tethered him there! During spells of delirium brought on by drugs and liver failure, Jesse pleaded with his mom to take him out to Whole Foods for something good to eat! (He never progressed to actual eating, only receiving intravenous and tube feeding.) The illness and intensive hospitalization took away all control Jesse had over his body and circumstances. These were circumstances that neither he nor anyone else would have ever chosen; yet they comprised a fitting forum in which to express to one and all what it looks like to trust God completely. That he bore his pain, suffering, and disappointment in his steady decline without complaint is testimony to the great faith in and full surrender to God that marked his life. It was faith under fire; and though he did have times of discouragement and frustration, his unwavering trust in God bore him through the hellish circumstances he faced day after day. That faith made an indelible impression on all who witnessed it.

The Fragrance of Christ

As Jesse’s body broke down under a deluge of disability and disease, the unmistakable scent of the risen Christ emerged. The failures of the flesh brought forth the fruit of the Spirit. Even in his broken state, Jesse sought to minister to those who came to his bedside, whether doctors, staff, or visitors. Just two days before passing away, Jesse had a massive bleeding episode, during which all family members were called to the hospital because the doctors suspected death was imminent (by this time the hospital was no longer giving him transfusions to replace blood loss as part of their predetermined end-of-life measures). Family and friends stood around Jesse’s bed and prayed aloud for a miracle while the surgeon stitched him up. After a long while, the blood loss was finally stanched. In spite of his weakness and the dire situation, Jesse looked up at his concerned surgeon and scribbled a note with utter sincerity, Dr. Furuta, always nice to see you! Nice haircut. There was no sarcasm. Just a heart that loved people and sought to encourage everyone around.

It was an act reminiscent of Jesus on the cross, who, in the midst of his inexplicably immense suffering, expressed divine love and concern for those around him by forgiving his executioners, encouraging a dying thief with the assurance of heaven, and arranging for the future care of his mother Mary by the Apostle John. In like manner, Jesse reached out in loving concern during his lengthy hospitalization. He was concerned for the welfare of everyone who entered his room, and more than once Louise arrived to find someone pouring out their struggles to Jesse, who lay in critical condition, listening patiently and compassionately.

As Louise accompanied his gurney one day to the operating room before one of the many surgeries he was not expected to survive, she asked if he wanted to say anything. Thinking only of her emotional well-being, he replied, You did everything perfectly. You did not make any mistakes. Just before another life-threatening surgery, his sister Abby asked him how he was feeling and, after a slight pause, he simply said Grateful. His inner strength, like that of his Master, came through his complete surrender to and utter trust in the goodness and sovereignty of God. Even in the face of his worst nightmare, Jesse practiced childlike faith in Abba. Approach all things as an infant of Christ, he once wrote to me. Now he was living it out in a way and with an effect neither of us could have ever imagined.

The ICU experience was, in a sense, Jesse’s own cross. Of course, he knew that Jesus had borne the real one and there was no need to repeat a bit of it. On the contrary, Jesse felt he needed only to rest and trust in God’s perfect will for him, which he believed was incapable of being anything but good. Thus did the fragrance of Christ diffuse outwardly from his entrapment in a hospital bed.  Many were able to partake of the compelling aroma, as Louise posted daily updates on Facebook. Her efforts made it possible for thousands of people on numerous continents to pray intelligently for and devotedly follow Jesse’s ongoing plight, all the while witnessing the God-honoring faith that emerged through his dreadful circumstances. Louise received many messages on Facebook from well-wishers who told stories of how their own lives had been transformed by Jesse's ICU ordeal and his great faith and perseverance.

The Master’s Footsteps

Meanwhile, Jesse refused to acknowledge that he was in a life-and-death struggle. Rather, he sought to rest in God and trust Him unequivocally moment by moment, whatever the circumstances. That was his MO (modus operandi). Somewhat prophetically, a couple of years earlier Jesse had written to me: Your natural state is one of being lavishly loved and catered to by God, in proportion to your surrender and vulnerability to him. The focus is on you complete [through the finished work of Christ]. That’s why it is now and true outside of symptoms. If you recognize anything less than God, you reset. You’ve been striving. His attitude is reminiscent of the travail Jesus went through in the Garden of Gethsemane, where, despite the immensity of suffering descending upon him, in full trust he resolutely declared, "…not my will, but thine, be done (Luke 22:42).

There were many uncanny parallels between Jesse’s life and prolonged hospitalization, and the life and death of Jesus. One cannot escape the similarities and is left to ponder the possible implications for anyone who fully identifies with Christ as His devoted disciple. That we are all meant to find our fulfillment and complete identity in Jesus and the finished work of the cross was, in fact, a major pillar in Jesse’s theology (see Chapter Four). Among the resemblances between the lives of Jesus and Jesse was the age at which they began their ministries, their ages at death, and that each suffered terribly as a result of following what they believed to be God’s