Annihilation by Academia

By Ono Boddy

Enter the world of teaching at a university level with all of the bells and
whistles. You will meet some characters who are supportive and caring
as well as some who are ethically challenged. You will also encounter
some of the rewards and pitfalls involved with teaching in an upper-level academic
environment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Nov 30, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543995169

Book preview

©All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Print ISBN 978-1-54399-515-2

eBook ISBN: 978-1-54399-516-9

Preface

People who are able to do something well can do that thing for a living, while people who are not able to do anything that well make a living by teaching; this was incorporated to denigrate teachers, from George Bernard Shaw’s Man and Superman: Bob: I’m so discouraged. My writing teacher told me my novel is hopeless. Jane: Don’t listen to her, Bob. Remember: those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.

(McGraw-Bothsides Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Bothsides Companies, Inc)

I have read that Mr. Shaw disliked school, but I do not think that he ever taught in one. Education has changed greatly since Mr. Shaw attended school. His achievements were many; he won the Nobel Prize in Literature, an Academy Award, and the New York Drama Critics’ Circle Special Citation. However, I wonder if he would change his mind about the current state of the educational process. Test scores are in, and learning is tenuous. The teacher role has expanded while public perceptions remain stolid and denigrating. Teachers go to school to learn how to teach and make education exciting, but are then given scripted lessons for instruction that leave little room for creativity or innovation.

I am an education peon who had the passion and fortitude to want to take the educational process to a higher level of learning as well as enjoy the profession while teaching students to become high-quality teachers. I come from a different background and culture than those who live in this university town. I also have varying perspectives of teaching, as well as diverse educational degrees, and contrasting life experiences in the vast world of education. At this university, I strove to elevate the teaching process as well as maintain high standards for upcoming teachers. I soon learned that the virtue of the Ivory Tower is a myth, and can be debilitating, destructive, and devastating.

This is my real-life story, and I’m sticking to it. All names except one have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Acknowledgments:

Big Dude Boddy: You are my rock, my strength, my support, and my best friend. You encouraged me even when I was a lost cause. Thank you for being you.

Dr. Justa Boddy: Since we have accepted you as a family member, you have inherited the last name. Your constant support, your raucous humor, your fantastic ideas, and your jurisprudence savvy got me through the last few years at Ghell. Thank you!!

Dr. Harris: You have no idea how thrilled I was when you came through as usual with flying colors with your honesty and expertise to help with the editing. Thank you. Let’s go to Tahiti and sip on exotic drinks!

Bubba: Thanks for the great advice and for just being you.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction to Snootyville

Welcome to UZZ: Initiation to the University Experience

Second Semester: Lessons Learned

Cast of Characters

Peons

Chairs

Deans

Vice Chancellor of Academic Affairs/Provost

Chancellor

President

Entitled Students

By Arrangement Request

Graduate Student Superiority

Student Projects

Athletic Privilege

KPrac Students

Student Teachers

Group Projects

Time Conflicts

Special Treatment

Students of Education Organization (SEO)

The Sucker Punch

The Next Year

The Penultimate Semester

The Last Hurrah Semester

The Final Whammy

Epilogue

Epiligue #2

Introduction to Snootyville

Hello! My name is Ono, and I honestly have earned that name. I am a klutz…I fall down; the materials that I carry continually drop from my grasp, and I can come up with strange and obnoxious ideas that often make others roll their eyes. I have sat on desks in classrooms only to find myself on the floor with broken desk pieces surrounding me. I have tripped over boxes, getting into elevators, and places on the floor that have a sign that clearly says, Dangerous When Wet. The most consistent response from onlookers has been, Ono! and I continually use it myself.

For practical purposes, I will call the university where I have worked UZZ (University of Zealous Zalambdodonta—yeah, I had to look it up, too). UZZ is a university branch in a small town, which I will call Snootyville, in the middle of nowhere. The nearest big city is over two hours away, which provides all kinds of exciting challenges for traveling. I have lived in small villages, big cities, and several different states, but I have never seen a place like Snootyville. I call it Snootyville because many of the residents and some of the faculty/staff at the university exude an attitude of superiority and cling to past traditions without acknowledging progress; in essence, a lot of these people are just plain snooty.

I had first gone to UZZ for an interview and was picked up at an airport by my future counterpart in the early childhood department, whom I will call Dr. Elf. She was a tall charming lady who was very articulate and had a wicked sense of humor. I was very relieved to meet a friendly faculty member on a personal basis.

I went through all of the hoops and pony shows during the two days of interviewing, and was driven around what seemed to be a delightful small community. When it was time for me to leave in time to reach my departing flight, Dr. Elf suddenly remembered that she had to pick up her children. Um, okay…but how do I get to the airport! ? She gave me a cheery smile and a friendly wave as she glided out of the department. People were in their offices, but I didn’t feel comfortable asking a stranger to give up a few hours of time to drive to the airport and back. I sat in the department lobby and watched the clock, wondering if I needed to call my husband to make a round trip of 20 hours so that I could get home. Ono…bad idea! Just then, the departmental administrative assistant, Ms. Jen, came into the office and saw me sitting there. She asked where Dr. Elf was, and I told her. I also told her that I REALLY needed to get to the airport to catch my flight. Ms. Jen was an angel as she picked up her purse and keys, and said, I’ll take you. Let’s go. On the trip, she told me some useful information about the area, town, and university. She drove quickly and we made it to the airport with five minutes to spare. She gave me a big hug and whispered that she had never been to this airport before and had just hoped that we wouldn’t get lost. Ms. Jen was Super Woman in my book!

I was ecstatic when I received a call and was offered the position. Then I looked around my home and realized that I had a ton of work ahead of me in order to sell the house. I can’t say that I was joyous in pulling the existing carpet from the living room, dining room, and hall but I got out my trusty screwdriver and pulled all of the carpet and the remaining staples from the floor. Fortunately, there was gorgeous hardwood flooring there, which I cleaned and waxed. The real estate lady stopped by and declared the house ready to sell. She put a for sale sign in the yard, and the house sold in a matter of hours.

I made arrangements with UZZ for temporary campus housing so that I would have a place to live before I could live in a purchased home. I wanted a ground-floor apartment because my husband had knee problems and he was helping to move. On the first trip after the interview to look for a home, my husband drove a small U-Haul with living essentials and I put smaller items into my own car, which had no air conditioning. The temperature was 104 degrees, and the drive took 10 hours. I had been told to go to security upon arrival so the temporary housing could be unlocked and we could put the bed inside to get some much needed sleep. Ono! Someone forgot to make the arrangement for the temporary housing. Fortunately, the guy from security believed our story and gave us a key to use. Ono! Second floor apartment. Onoh-zzzzzzzz.

The next morning, we met with our real estate agent to look for a home. We looked at six houses in two hours, and selected one that we loved. After we had completed some of the paper work, the agent asked if we had an inspector lined up. Really! ? Since we had only arrived the day before, we obviously did not have the names of any inspectors; our agent said that she would find one for us.

I stayed on campus while my husband drove back to our former home. I was very busy while working with the electricity company, the telephone company, the water company, the cable company, and all of those other pesky things that we take for granted when we already have them. I had to make an appointment with the sellers of the house for the inspection guy; the sellers would not allow me in the house before the final sale for any reason like measuring for draperies or furniture arrangement. When I arrived at the house, one of the owners was there with his buddy, the inspector, who said that he had little experience with inspecting homes. This was the first Ono of the day, and it would not be the last. I was told that the house had termites at one time, but they were all gone, even though one could still see the damage that the termites had caused. I was also told that the heat ducts near the floors were not usable because the house now had central heat and air conditioning. I asked about thermal-paned windows and the owner assured me that all of the windows had the layering system; he even showed me the one in the dining room so that I could see for myself. The inspector reluctantly told the owner that the stove would have to be replaced because it was a hazard, and also the window grouting on the back porch was cracked and needed replacing. Otherwise, we were good to go. You guessed it—the Ono would come later.

While living in campus housing, I had met a wonderful married student couple who volunteered to help us move. My husband was taking care of packing and moving our belongings from our previous home. The new owner of our old house also wanted him to mow the lawn, trim the hedges, and kept asking to buy our furniture. He finally told her that he had a deadline to remove our belongings from her home and could not continue to be her yard man. He did a wonderful job of getting everything organized and into the truck, and he was superb at driving the long distance with a very yappy dog. When he called from a local fast food place because he was not familiar with the town, the wonderful couple plus their brothers arrived to help us move everything. Without their help, I don’t think that we would have made much progress. Kudos to this kind and fantastic family!

As we learned through the years about buying a home, our agent, the inspector, and the home sellers had large ethical deficits regarding full disclosure. Although some people may adore unusable heat ducts on their floors, we did remove them. We learned that there were, indeed, thermal-paned windows—in the addition that the owners had built. The rest of house did not have any; this meant that 11 windows had to be replaced. We also learned that the roof leaked, the swimming pool had leaks in the liner and cracks in the structure, the back porch was dilapidated to the point where a city inspector told us that the foundation had to be removed, and several other things that were joyous to behold. For example, there was a small half-bathroom off one of the bedrooms, but it had no door. We figured out that the door had probably been removed because there was no heat duct in the bathroom. We did, however, finally locate the missing door in the attic. A big ONO goes to these hidden treasures!

My next step was to explore the town a bit to see where places of interest were located, such as a grocery store, the post office, the hospital, a veterinarian—those places that might be needed on a regular basis, I was very excited to find a library since I had been very active in the library system in my previous city. I asked if I could be of service to the library by volunteering. This became an unexpected Ono. The woman looked at me in my jeans and sweatshirt and informed me that, We don’t need any volunteers. Gee, I had never lived anywhere that turned away volunteers. I then asked about getting a library card; I gave the required information and sat down to wait for the card. After about 20 minutes, the lady asked if she could help me, and I told her that I was waiting for my library card. She told me that this library did not use library cards. I had never heard of this either, but I did not say anything until I had left the building because I didn’t need any more Onos that day. I did, however, say a couple of colorful words as I got into my car. Snootyville lesson number one.

I have never lived anywhere that the neighbors did not visit or welcome us to our new community, but Snootyville was different. No visits, no Welcome Wagon, no calls—no nothing. I finally did get to know the wonderful ladies in the houses next door. We did get to know a lady across the street, who was very old and sometimes needed a ride to pick up her medication. After eight or nine years, I walked across the street to speak to a lady who was mowing her lawn. The conversation was very brief. After 18 years of living in this house, my husband got her to say hello when he went across the street when she was again mowing her lawn. There is an Ono here though. At one point when we were both working, someone called the lawn police (I had never heard of this) because the bushes in front of our house needed trimming. We immediately complied with bush trimming, although we never discovered who