Seek and Ye Shall Find

By Laura Ware

Two years ago, Gary Benson's world as he knew it ended.

His daughter Sarah died in a car accident while she was

arguing with Gary about religion. The tragedy left Gary filled

with guilt and estranged not only from God, but also his

Chinese wife and their remaining daughter, Sarah's twin sister

Melanie.

When Melanie, arrested and accused of being a Chinese

National Christian while visiting family in China, disappears,

Gary must marshal all of his contacts as an ex-Special Forces

member and senior CIA analyst to try to save her.

He blamed God for one daughter's death. Can he find a

way to forgive God—and himself—to save the other in time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: JJ Press
• Release date: Dec 7, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393958598

Laura Ware

Laura Ware writes in a variety of genres. Her novels are mostly inspirational fiction, although she is currently working on a fantasy series as well. Her short fiction ranges from mainstream to fantasy/science fiction and several things in between. Her stories have been published in a number of Fiction River anthologies, including Past Crime, Last Stand, Editor’s Choice and Feel the Fear. Laura also writes a weekly column for the Highlands News-Sun and her essay “Touched by an Angel” was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Random Acts of Kindness in 2017.

Book preview

– One –

Melanie Benson peered out the plane window, hoping for a glimpse of her mother’s homeland. Instead, a yellow-brown cloud hung between her and the ground, blocking her first glimpse of China.

Pollution, Mike Jenkins, the older man seated next to her said as he looked over her shoulder. A friend told me the whole country’s like that, pretty much. And they complain about our pollution problems.

She gave Jenkins a polite smile but said nothing. He had proven to be a bit opinionated but had been someone nice to talk to after their first awkward meeting.

So, he’d said as he sat down next to her and worked to get his seat belt fastened. Going home?

She’d shook her head. I am an American. China is not my home.

Oh! he replied, red blooming on his cheeks. I’m sorry – I just thought – you know, he said, gesturing at her.

It’s quite all right, she told him. Melanie was used to people’s assumptions. Her long black hair, almond eyes and petite frame had come from her mother. People commented that very little of her father appeared in her or her twin sister.

Sarah…Melanie sighed. She wished Sarah was sitting next to her, looking out the window and commenting on the ugly-looking cloud. It had been two years since the accident and she still missed her sister intensely.

Her hands fell to the Bible on her lap. She wasn’t alone here – God was with her even on this grand adventure. Melanie caressed the worn red leather cover. It had been a gift from her father, as was the cross she wore.

Melanie hoped her mother hadn’t contacted him to tell on her. She knew he’d be opposed to her going to China – he would tell her it was dangerous. And unnecessary.

Mother understood, though she worried. On the drive to the airport – how long ago? Melanie tried to figure it out but her tired brain refused to do the math – Melanie had been treated to a series of instructions her mother felt was needed for a young American woman traveling alone in China.

The plane was descending into the yellow cloud now, and the blue sky they’d been flying in vanished. Melanie felt her heart speed up in anticipation. The stories her mother had told her and Sarah about China filled her mind, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

Exciting, huh? Jenkins said, popping a mini pretzel into his mouth. I bet you can’t wait to meet your grandma.

No, I can’t, Melanie agreed. I can’t wait for a lot of things.

Jenkins nodded as they suddenly broke through the dirty cloud cover and got their first glimpse of Beijing, China.

Melanie noticed the mountains first. For as long as she could remember, she’d been awed by such peaks. When they’d gone to Colorado one summer for vacation, Melanie would get up just as the sun rose so she could look at the mountains from their hotel room window while the rest of the family slept. She never understood how anyone could look at mountains and deny God’s existence. How could anyone look on the beauty of creation and doubt the Creator?

A virtual field of one-story houses stretched out below them. Melanie couldn’t even count them. How many people just in those houses? She knew over 21 million people lived in Beijing alone – a bigger city than she’d ever been in. What would it be like to walk the streets?

Her stomach swooped as the plane descended towards the ground. But even that couldn’t dampen her excitement. She was in her mother’s homeland at last!

There was a bump as the plane’s tires kissed the runway. Melanie heard the roar of the engines as the plane slowed. Applause rang out through the cabin. She joined it, suddenly giddy.

As soon as the flight attendant said cell phones could be turned on, Melanie tried to call her mother, grateful she’d paid for an international plan. She got the answering machine at the house. Mom, I just wanted to let you know we landed okay and I’m here – I’m really here! I’ll email you when I get to where I’m staying. Love you lots. Bye.

As the plane taxied to a gate, Melanie fished her red backpack from under the seat in front of her. The pack was crammed with her laptop, some books (including her Fodor’s guide to China), food, and an extra set of clothes in case her suitcase was lost.

Melanie pulled her dark green sweater out of the backpack. The plane was warm, but it was fall in China and she bet she’d be chilled before too long. She glanced at her food stash – a couple of granola bars and her beloved chocolate – but decided to save them for later.

Hey, don’t forget your customs form, Jenkins said, motioning to her seat pocket.

Oh, thank you, she replied, grabbing it and sticking it into her Bible. She pulled her passport and identification from the front pocket of her backpack and zipped everything back up.

Before she knew it Melanie was saying goodbye to Jenkins and blinking as she got her first look at the Beijing International Airport.

She didn’t take much time to sightsee. Melanie felt grungy and tired and knew she’d have to find her suitcase and go through customs before she could meet Brother Cho and hopefully take a soak in a tub. Grateful that announcements were made in English as well as Chinese, she made her way to baggage claim, checking signs to make sure she didn’t get lost.

Finally she found herself in line in Customs, wishing she hadn’t packed quite so much in her suitcase. Her arm ached from rolling it to the line which seemed to move at a snail’s pace. She couldn’t keep from yawning when it was finally her turn.

There was a man who looked to be not much older than she was at the counter. Melanie noticed an older man with a gun in his hands stood behind the customs agent. His stance and stare said soldier to her, and for some reason she was uneasy.

Passport, please, the agent said to her in Chinese.

Here, she said, proud she could say it in his native tongue. She pulled her customs form from her Bible and started to hand it over.

Just a moment, the soldier stepped up to the counter, his eyes narrowing. What is this book?

Melanie felt a stab of fear, but controlled it. You’re an American citizen, she reminded herself. You’re not doing anything wrong.

She handed the Bible to the soldier, who flipped it open and frowned. What are you doing with this?

She decided not to answer in Mandarin, but in English. I am visiting from the United States. She leaned forward and pointed at her passport. My passport will tell you I’m American.

What’s this? the soldier barked. Before Melanie could pull away he used the tip of his gun to pull out the cross she wore around her neck. You wear a cross?

She thought she would throw up. Her voice shaking, she said, Please sir, I am an American citizen. Look at my passport if you don’t believe me!

The clerk examined her passport and showed it to the soldier with a frown. The older man snorted and said something rapidly in Mandarin that Melanie couldn’t follow. She bit her lip and blinked back tears of fright. Brother Cho told me to be careful, but everything I read said American Christians were left alone! Why didn’t I just stick my Bible in my backpack?

The soldier pointed to a red band around his dark green shirt sleeve and said something to the clerk. With a sigh the younger man handed Melanie’s passport and custom form to the soldier.

The older man jerked his head at her. You will come with me, he said in Mandarin. You have much to explain.

Please, she begged, let me call the American Embassy…

No phone calls, the man barked. He grabbed her arm. You will come with me. Now!

As he led her away, Melanie let cold tears of fear streak her face while she silently prayed. Dear God, please protect me and save me from this nightmare.

–Two –

Gary Benson shoved some papers into his briefcase and slammed it shut. There were times he tolerated his job as a data analyst for the CIA, and times he out and out loathed it. Today was a loathe day.

His ranking in the CIA rated him a small office instead of a cubicle, which he was grateful for, despite the fact it was the size of a large walk-in closet. A small blue and red Chinese rug sat in front of his metal desk. The oak credenza behind him held pictures of his family, even Sarah, though even after two years looking at those brought a stab of sorrow.

His right leg complained as he stood and stretched. Gary had sat too long in that cursed government-issued chair and the leg had stiffened up. A rifle’s bullet had hit the leg in the worst possible spot, resulting in nerve damage. At least he didn’t need a cane.

Gary limped out of his office, giving a curt nod to his incredibly patient secretary as he went out the door. Have a nice evening, Mr. Benson, she called to him.

Benson said nothing back, just grimaced. A nice evening. Yeah, if alone in front of the television with a beer qualified for that.

Count your blessings.

He rolled his eyes while he waited for the elevator. Count his blessings. How many times had he told someone going through difficulties to do just that? He wondered if a lot of the people he’d preached that to felt a stab of resentment at the words. He sure did, and he was talking to himself.

Fifteen minutes later he was at the basement gym warming up before he began his workout regime. Benson nodded to some coworkers as he stretched his bad leg, then got on one of the elliptical machines to get his cardio workout.

Three flat screen televisions lined the yellow wall that faced the treadmills, stair steppers, and other cardiovascular machines. Benson plugged his headphones into the jack under the elliptical’s console and dialed up ESPN Sports. The other two sets were showing cable news networks and he just wasn’t in the mood today.

After a half hour, his bad leg was aching, but Benson expected that. He limped off the machine and wiped it down with his towel before heading over to the free weights section of the gym.

Jake Stinson, an agent, was there already. Sweat coated his muscular arms. Hey, Gary, how’s it going?

Oh, about the same, Jake. Think you can spot me? Benson asked.

Sure, no problem, Stinson said, joining Benson at a bench.

While Benson worked on the weights, Stinson continued. Hey, Amy wanted to know if we could see you at the house sometime. You know, you haven’t been over for dinner in a while.

Benson grunted, concentrating on lifting up the heavy bar. A series of ten reps, then he let Stinson help him get the bar back on its stand. I know. I’ve been busy.

Well, how about this Friday? Stinson asked.

Benson swallowed, then wiped his face with his towel. I dunno, Jake. He put his hands back on the bar and nodded his readiness to Stinson.

Stinson was silent until Benson finished his workout. When Benson sat up, he continued. Look, what’s the problem? I hurt your feelings or something?

Benson snorted. Please. What are we, women?

Well, what is it then? Stinson asked. You don’t usually skitter away from one of Amy’s meals. I’ll even ask her to make lasagna and garlic bread – I know you like that.

Benson wiped at his face again, then sighed. Look, I don’t need to come when you have some of your church friends over, okay?

So we did offend you, Stinson said. Look, we were just talking about stuff, no need to get defensive.

I don’t do church anymore, Benson said, his voice flat. You know that, Jake. I don’t need my face rubbed in it, all right?

We weren’t trying to rub your face into anything, Stinson protested. Look, I get you have issues –

Let’s drop it, all right? Benson said. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll come to dinner on Friday if you promise no preaching, all right?

Stinson looked as if he wanted to argue, but then his shoulders sagged. Fine. No preaching. The only thing I’ll try to convert you to is Razorback football, fair enough?

My daughter’s attending Florida State. I’m a ‘Noles fan all the way.

Stinson shook his head in mock sorrow. You poor, poor man. My work is cut out for me.

Yeah, well, you can give it your best shot on Friday, Benson said, flicking his towel at his friend. I’m gonna call it a night – see you later.

Stinson meant well. Benson knew that. But the faith he’d once had, that he’d cherished above all else – well, that faith died two years ago. And he couldn’t see it being resurrected any time soon.

After he showered and changed, Benson checked his cell phone and noticed his estranged wife had called not once, but twice while he was working out. He slammed the locker door a little harder than necessary. He wasn’t in the mood for a verbal joust with Kim.

As if his thoughts had alerted her, the cell phone in his hand began to ring. Kim’s name flashed on the iPhone screen.

He was tempted to ignore it. But something told him he wanted to take this call. He muttered a curse as he hit the talk button. Yeah, what is it Kim?

Her first three words drove every other thought from his mind.

Melanie is missing.

– Three –

Melanie tried to stay composed as the soldier guided her through a stark hallway. It wasn’t easy. The man wouldn’t answer any of her questions and his grip on her arm was painful.

Finally, he opened one of the gray metal doors that lined the hall. Give me your cell phone, he barked.

Her hand fell to her smartphone, clipped to the waistline of her blue jeans. Please, I wish to call my embassy –

I told you. No phone calls. He reached over and yanked the cell phone from her pants. You will wait here.

Anger flared in her. You have no right to do this!

While you wait I suggest you consider telling me the truth, the soldier continued as if he hadn’t heard her. Things will be easier for you if you admit your guilt.

I’ve done nothing wrong! she snapped. I am an American citizen and you have no right to treat me like this!

He slapped her, the blow catching her off-guard and causing her to stumble back a couple of steps. He quickly stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

Melanie leapt at the door and twisted the knob. She was locked in. Tears of fear and frustration fell as she spent a couple of fruitless moments pounding on the door, calling for someone to let her out.

Finally, she decided she was wasting her time. Melanie turned and leaned back against the door, rubbing her sore cheek as she examined her prison.

The room was square, smaller than her bedroom at home – how she wished she was there! A metal card table took up the center of the room, with gray folding chairs set up around it. Light came from fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling.

She shivered. No one knew where she was. What would Cho do when she didn’t appear? Would he ask about her? Would that get him in trouble as well?

She pulled out one of the chairs, the scraping of the legs on the concrete floor loud in the room. Melanie sank into the chair and wished for her backpack. The chocolate would have tasted good at the moment. Unfortunately, her backpack was with the customs agent, as was her suitcase. She wondered if she’d see her stuff again.

What was going to happen to her? This soldier seemed convinced she wasn’t an American citizen. Her resemblance to her mother had worked against her, it seemed.

Surely he’d check with the embassy and confirm she was who she said she was. Then what? Melanie felt a stab of disappointment as she realized that after his treatment of her he wouldn’t be willing to simply let her go on her way. No, he probably would pull some strings and get her on the next plane back to the United States.

She wondered if he would get in trouble for hitting her. Rubbing her cheek, she hoped so. That feeling brought a wave of guilt – as a Christian, shouldn’t she forgive him? Didn’t Jesus talk about turning the other cheek?

It’d be easier if this still didn’t hurt, she muttered to herself.

Forty-five minutes had passed by her wristwatch when the door slammed open. The soldier strode in, his face grim.

Melanie stood up. She’d spent the time praying. Surely God was about to save her. Did you contact my embassy?

The man shut the door and went around the table to face her. He slapped her passport down on the table. Where did you get this? he asked her in Mandarin.

Melanie replied in English, I received it from my government.

The man’s eyes narrowed. No. You stole it, or paid someone to forge it for you.

Shaking her head, Melanie said, That’s not true. Do you understand English?

The man snorted. You wish to play this charade? Very well, we will speak in English. He sat down and steepled his fingers in front of his face. You are a Chinese national, trying to pass yourself off as an American citizen so you may spread the lies of your cult.

Melanie sighed. I am an American citizen visiting China for the first time.

Who are your parents? the man asked.

The question caught her off-guard. She remembered her mother’s warning – don’t mention me! Melanie wasn’t sure why her mother felt so strongly about it, but her admonition had been clear. She chose to answer the question halfway. My father is Gary Benson. He works for the United States government.

And your mother?

Melanie clamped her lips shut. She sat down across from the man, grateful for the table between them.

The man glared at her. Why have you come to China?

As I said, I came to visit.

Who were you planning on visiting?

Melanie bit her lip. Should she mention Cho? Her grandmother, whom she’d looked forward to meeting for the first time? Or would this man go after them as well?

His fist slammed down on the table, startling her. Answer me! Why are you here? Who is working with you?

That last question helped make up her mind. She would not tell this man about anyone else. She raised her chin and said, I will not answer those questions until I can talk to someone from my embassy.

You are carrying a forbidden item and wearing forbidden jewelry. You pretend to be an American because you think it will frighten me.

I’m not pretending! Melanie shouted. I’m telling you the truth!

The man leaned back, looking at her thoughtfully. You claim to be a Christian – he spat out the word Christian as if it tasted bad in his mouth " – so you would say you do not lie?"

As a Christian, I tell the truth, Melanie agreed.

With a smile, the man said, Then tell me who you came to see. Tell me the truth, and if they defend you I will let you go.

The malice in the man’s smile chilled her. For a moment, she wavered in her resolve. Just tell him about Cho and her grandmother, and she could walk out of there. This nightmare would be over.

But her grandmother had no idea she was here in China. She would be no help. As for Cho…this man had a hatred for those of the faith. Could she expose a brother in Christ to him?

Swallowing, Melanie said, You have no right to hold me here. I demand to speak to my embassy.

His eyes blazed. You will regret your defiance. He snatched up her passport and left the room. Melanie heard the lock click into place and couldn’t stop tears from stinging her eyes. She bowed her head. Lord, please, help me. Get me away from this evil man and to a place of safety.

– Four –

Gary tried to remember the last time he’d gone to the house he once shared with Kim and the girls. A month ago? When he and Melanie spent time together they usually met someplace. It was simpler, and a lot less tense than facing Kim.

He paused after stopping the car, looking at the two-story brick house. Once, he’d lived here with his wife and two daughters and life had been good. Before he’d single-handedly destroyed it.

As Benson reached over to turn off the ignition