Protecting Kinsley: A Delta Force Defenders Novel

By Jennifer Becker

After an explosion that burned half her body and almost killed her team, Kinsley Jameson is forced on R and R by the FBI. Her best friend Abigail suggests a little retreat in Fort Irwin, California to get it. 
But Kinsley isn’t interested in a vacation. She only had one goal, one focus. Getting back to work and capture the terrorist that scarred her face. Kinsley has never lost a suspect before and isn’t about to start now. It isn’t just her reputation on the line but her career. 
Carter Barnes meets the scarred woman but sees so much more than the snarly woman whose bark is just as bad as her bite. The doctor in him wants to heal Kinsley but she’s only interested in him to help her get back into fighting shape. 
Carter sees that Kinsley not only carries wounds on the outside but the inside as well. He will tear through her defenses piece by piece and help Kinsley heal. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: May 26, 2020

Book preview

Epilogue

Chapter 1

Kinsley exhaled as she swung her right fist forward and made impact. The punching bag jerked away and came back at her. She swung her left with the same result. She had been at it for close to an hour. Repetitively swinging at the bag. Her arms hurt; her knuckles felt bruised. There was probably a few cracked knuckles she’d have to bandage later. Her shoulder pulled tight with every forward movement. Her physical therapist suggested certain exercises to stretch the burnt skin back out, so it wasn’t so tight and painful.

Physically she was exhausted, but her body wasn’t what she was trying to tire out. It was her mind that refused to be exhausted. She couldn’t stop remembering. The explosion, the feel of the heat burning her skin, the bullet holes, her blood soaking into the concrete. It was all still so vivid. Playing a constant loop in her head like a broken record. Kinsley hoped physical exhaustion would help, but it hadn’t so far.

Kinsley couldn’t remember the last time she got more than four or five hours of sleep. The nightmares were always waiting for her. The only way to escape was to physically exhaust herself so she would pass out when she got to her bed. Unfortunately, it only helped her sleep for a few hours before fire licking her skin and screams of pain always woke her.

Her close friend and ex-colleague, Abigail, had thought getting her out of DC would help get her head on straight, but nothing could. Nothing except the drive to get back into shape and go after the son of a bitch who blew her up and put him behind bars. 

Failure tasted bitter on her tongue. She hadn’t failed at anything since she was a child. She had flown through basic training, setting records; she had completed missions few would have attempted. She had survived an IED. Kinsley had been unstoppable. Soon. This was just a minor setback. A reminder she was still human. That she wasn’t perfect. 

Kinsley used this experience as a training tool. She needed to be faster, stronger, and better than she was before. Once she was back in the field, she knew her nightmares would go away. First, she had pass the medical board. Kinsley didn’t need to talk to a shrink like everyone thought she did. Sure, she had anger issues at the moment. She had gotten blown up. Who wouldn’t be upset about that? Especially a second time. No, she was going to come back to work better than before and she didn’t need a damn shrink to help her with that. 

Kinsley stood back from the bag her body feeling depleted. She was exhausted. Maybe she could finally get some sleep. For all of Abigail and Aaron’s gadgets and computers, they didn’t have a gym in the mansion they called a home. Two physically fit people, one a Delta Force operative, didn’t have a gym. What was up with that? Luckily, on her second day here she discovered Carl’s Gym in town, run by Carl and his son. With a little convincing, she had unlimited access to the gym no matter the hour. It came in handy at times like this when it was five in the morning and she needed to let off some pent-up energy. There were other ways to exhaust herself without driving across town. She thought about sex, but no one appealed to her. An image of intense green eyes came to mind. 

Liar.

Okay, so one man. She wasn’t going to get involved with him though. Carter was one of Aaron’s teammates and friends. She would never cross that line. She could fantasize about him, sure, but he was definitely a look but do not touch. 

Oh, did she like to look. Every chance she saw him. Whenever he visited Aaron’s house, she watched him. Only when others weren’t watching. He was her secret fantasy.

She hated how much she wanted him. No man had affected her before. He made her lose her focus, her drive to get back to active duty. Carter made her long for something she had never thought about before. A life outside of the FBI. A life like Abigail’s. A home and someone to love her. Someone to love in return. It scared the shit out of her. More than any terrorist could. So she hid behind her anger, keeping him at a distance.

Carter wasn’t as big and bulky as his other teammates. He was leaner, but still just as deadly. Behind his calm exterior and polite smiles was a trained solider that would take a bullet for you. 

She had been drawn to him from the start. He wasn’t cocky and arrogant like Vincent, another teammate. Carter was sweet and attentive. He didn’t talk much, which was a huge bonus in her opinion. She enjoyed silence. Why talk when you had nothing interesting to say? She hated idle chitchat. Talking about the weather and her day made her want to puke. Who cared? 

Carter didn’t. He listened to her and never pushed for more than she was willing to say. He didn’t stare at her scars or even ask about them. That was nice for a change. Most did a double take or just plain gawked. Like no one had ever seen someone with burns before. It wasn’t that exciting. Believe her. She wasn’t proud of them, but she didn’t hide them either. It happened; she was moving on. 

Fire and pain flashed through her mind. It had hurt worse than the IED. The feel of the flames licking her skin as the building exploded. The trail of blood she left behind. The piercing pain of the bullet wounds heightened with every breath she took. 

Kinsley clenched her fists, trying to fight back against the rage taking over her body, but it wouldn’t be caged. With a bellow, she launched at the bag with everything she had. After several jabs and kicks she collapsed to her knees, panting. Useless tears tracked down her face. She swiped at them angrily. She hated crying. It was pointless. What did tears ever get anyone? Nothing but a sore throat, red eyes, and a runny nose. Not very attractive in her opinion.

Kinsley stood up, taking deep, calming breaths. There, that was better. Kinsley caught a faint scent of something earthy and spicy. 

She knew that scent. Only one man smelled like that. Carter. She didn’t know why he was here; he always seemed to be following her. She didn’t know if it was intentional or not, but it had to stop. He had a way of muddling her thoughts. Causing her to lose her focus. Her hormones took over instead of her brain when he was around. She didn’t like it. She liked being in control of all things, especially how her body reacted.

Go away, she said without turning around. Kinsley wasn’t mentally equipped to handle him right now. She was tired and horny. Another bad combination.

Last I checked, this was a gym open to all, or should I tell Carl his business has been taken over? 

His voice caressed over her skin like ghost fingers, causing goosebumps. Damn him. She needed her anger. It was the only thing that grounded her. It helped her focus. He made her think of hot, sweaty sex that would render her unable to move for hours afterward. Not in the cards. 

Then don’t let me stop you from working out. Kinsley took her time removing her gloves. She needed to focus on something before she turned around and looked at him. 

Kinsley, her tormentor called out. 

What? she snapped, and made the mistake of turning around. 

Oh fuck.

Her mouth instantly watered. 

He wore a skin tight red T-shirt that looked like it was molded to him like a second skin, accentuating every muscle he had. And he had a lot. His six-pack abs were clearly on display. The fabric pulled tight over his bulging biceps. A flex might rip the flimsy fabric. He wore short black shorts that sat low on his hips, making her wonder if he wore underwear under them.

Damn, his clothes sure made him look good.

Who was she kidding? The man could wear a paper bag and still look good.

Kinsley cleared her throat to give her a second to redirect her thoughts. She was headed down a dangerous path, lusting for a man connected to her friend. Nothing good would come of this. 

What? she said more gently when he just stared at her. He wasn’t looking at her scarred arm or face but straight in her eyes. She could almost kiss him for that. She knew what she looked like. The scars weren’t pretty but there wasn’t much she could do about them. The skin was puckered and raised with dark red blemishes. She had done some skin grafting, which helped but doctors already told her it would never look the same again.

The coloring would lessen, but the scars would remain. She saw the stares and heard the whispers, but she didn’t care. Well, at least on the outside she didn’t show she cared. She had to be tough. Terrorists fed off weakness. She would never show her enemy a weakness.

Spar with me. 

Kinsley blinked a few times, her brain taking a moment to process his words. Spar? With him? He had to be joking. 

Kinsley laughed. I’ve already done my workout, thanks. 

Carter’s biceps flexed before he stretched out his arms and crossed them over his chest. Her treacherous eyes followed the movement, drinking him in. You’re still wound up. Let me help.

A vision of them rolling around on the ground as they fucked went straight through her head. No, that’s not what he was thinking, and neither should she. 

I’m good. I should get going anyway. What time is it? It had been around four this morning when she showed up. It was still dark out, but the wall clock said it was just after five thirty. She didn’t have anywhere to be since she was on leave, but she didn’t trust herself alone with Carter. 

Distance. That’s what she needed. 

Scared I’ll beat you? he taunted. 

Oh no, he did not just say that. 

She looked up at him. His lips pulled back to smile and revealed a dimple on the left side of his face. 

He did. The man just challenged her. And unwise woman that she was, she never backed down from a challenge. Ever.

Aren’t you afraid I’ll beat you like I did Heath? It was a half lie. At a recent barbeque with Aaron’s teammates, a week ago, she caught Heath off guard and elbowed him in the stomach. Hardly worth bragging about, but she couldn’t help but bait him. A challenge had been made. She was powerless not to answer it. 

Carter cocked his head side to side, then rolled his shoulders. I’ll take my chances. 

Kinsley’s fatigue quickly vanished. Her muscles were sore and tired, but her body was coming back alive. Sparring always invigorated her. Anyone could punch a bag, but fighting with another opponent took skill and cunning. She had those in spades, though it had been a while since she’d sparred with anyone. Since before her accident.

Kinsley walked to the middle of the room, so they wouldn’t bump into anything. She liked Carl and his allowing her to use the gym whenever she wanted. She didn’t want to explain to him any damages that might occur. This wasn’t the ideal place for sparring, but it would do. She took a defensive position and raised her fists. Don’t go crying to your friends when I kick your ass. 

Carter just gave her another smile, his dimple winking at her making her insides quiver as he took up a similar position. 

Without warning, Kinsley launched at him. She swung for his middle, but he easily deflected. 

You made that too obvious, he said, circling around her.

Obvious? Why that…she was too angry now to come up with a name. She’d show him. 

She brought her knee straight up for his groin. Carter turned to the side, avoiding the blow, and did the most unexpected thing. He slapped her on the ass. 

Kinsley glared at him, ignoring the flare of heat consuming her body. It hadn’t hurt. It was a tap, really. It angered her more for liking it. She had heard of women who liked getting a slap on the ass now and then, but she had always found it unappealing and degrading.

Kinsley swung a fist straight at his smug face, but he moved at the last second and slapped the other ass cheek.

Will you quit that, she snapped, her cheeks heating in anger. Of course anger. What else would it be?

What? he asked innocently. This? He reached forward and slapped her ass before she knew his intent and could move out of the way. The man was quick. Quicker than she thought.

Yes, that, she hissed. Kinsley managed to punch him in the stomach before he could retract. Her hand hurt. It had been like hitting a wall. Much more solid than Heath had been. Carter barely reacted to her hitting him, which only peaked her ire. 

Is that all you got? he taunted.

Chapter 2

Kinsley launched at him, seeing red. She knew she was being sloppy and leaving herself open. She had broken the first rule in fighting—letting her emotions rule—but she couldn’t help it. She was consumed with rage and needed an outlet. Not only had she been defeated by a terrorist, but now Carter. No one had beaten her before. She didn’t like it. The world felt tipped on its axis. Everything out of rights. She was weak and a failure.

Kinsley swung madly and recklessly, not seeing what she was doing. Just needing to release the rage coursing through her body. After a few minutes of gaining nothing but a sore, red ass she collapsed on the mats exhausted. Mentally and physically.

She barely acknowledged Carter standing above her, hardly winded and not even sweating. Another failure. Was she losing her edge? That the explosion was just the beginning of her downfall? What was she supposed to do now? She was a federal agent. A war veteran. What came after this? Working private like Abigail? She scoffed. Kinsley couldn’t give up. She wouldn't. All she wanted was to make a difference in the world. She couldn’t do that if she wasn’t an agent. It was stupid to think that way, but she had done nothing but work for the government since she got out of high school. She didn’t know what else to do.

The thought of working private like Abigail didn’t appeal to her. Working in one place. She enjoyed travelling and the challenges of each new case. What would she find out here in middle of nowhere California? A whole lot of nothing. That’s what. Abigail might be happy giving up her career; she at least had a man to occupy her. Carter was a fun distraction for now, but Kinsley easily got bored of men and moved on. Hit ‘em and leave ‘em. That was her motto.

It seemed to be Heath’s MO too, but she wasn’t drawn to him like she was to Carter. Pity. This man had forever stamped on his forehead and it scared the shit out of her more than the explosion did. Feelings in general scared her. It was why she avoided them. Feelings clouded judgement, and when that was compromised, accidents usually followed. She trusted her gut and her gut was telling her to keep her distance from him.

But first.

She waited for Carter to get close to her before she pounced. She used his concern for her as a distraction and dove for his legs. Carter went down like a sack of potatoes, not expecting the move. A swell of pride filled her chest that she’d bested him. Finally. It was a small victory but still a victory. It had been sneaky, but there were no rules when it came to defeating an enemy in the real world. They didn’t follow any rules. Kill or be killed. It was a motto they all lived by.

Kinsley straddled Carter’s chest as soon as he fell back with an oof. She raised her fist, ready to punch him in his smug face when his hand shot up and caught it. His hand dwarfed hers, completely covering her own. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t pull free. She jabbed at him with the other hand, but he easily caught it and pinned her hands behind her back. Kinsley squirmed, trying to break free, but it was pointless. She eyed his head, thinking about bashing it in with hers, but figured it would cause her more damage than it would him.

Carter must have realized where her thoughts went because he rolled them over, pinning her hands under her to the ground. He kept his chest off of hers, so he didn’t suffocate her, but they were pressed pelvis to pelvis.

With her legs on the outside, Kinsley thought she might have an advantage. She braced her feet on the mat and pushed up with her lower body. She raised an inch off the ground and froze.

What the hell was that?

Something big and hard rubbed against the inside of her thigh. It couldn’t be what she thought it was, could it? Kinsley looked between them to see the hard outline of Carter’s cock pressed against his shorts, right where she felt him. Holy shit. He was huge.

Bad Kinsley. Don’t look at his dick. You can’t have it, remember?

Only, at the moment she didn’t remember anything. Her brain was short-circuiting. Hormones were taking over. Her fighting instincts abandoning her.

No, fight. Win.

Her brain warred with her body, willing her body to cooperate. Kinsley raised up her hips, telling herself it was to dislodge him, when Carter rolled his hips forward, gliding his hard cock over her core. Kinsley shuddered. In disgust. Yeah. The horror. She’d be scarred for life now.

Kinsley, Carter groaned above her. A hand fisting in her hair. Not painfully, but it forced her to look up at him to avoid tearing a few strands out. Oh damn, she should have shut her eyes. Carter was braced only inches above her face. His lips so close and yet so far.

No, don’t look there.

She looked higher, into his eyes.

Even bigger mistake.

His green eyes blazed with hunger and lust as he stared at her lips. Kinsley licked them nervously. His erection jerked against her, his fist tightening in her hair. Had she ever affected a man like this before? Not that she could recall. She had never slept with anyone from the agency. They were all afraid of her. Kinsley was tall, six foot. Taller than some of the agents or just as tall. It intimidated them. She had dominated many of them on the mats as well, showing off her strength. Men didn’t like women taller or stronger than them.

Carter was only a few inches taller than her and broad. His muscles weren’t just for show. He was a honed soldier capable of far more than she was. He made her feel petite; who knew that was possible? He didn’t treat her like glass but as an equal. If only he wasn’t friends with Abigail and her boyfriend, she would totally rock this guy’s world, but her conscience wouldn’t let her. She didn’t want to cause issues when she left.

Carter, she said, trying to get his attention so he’d let her go. Her arms were getting tingly, signaling they were losing circulation. My arms.

His face didn’t show any sign he’d heard her, but he raised up higher to allow her to get her arms free, as if he didn’t have the strength to pull himself away from her. As soon as she was free, he dropped his weight back on her. Kinsley squirmed under him but once again she was pinned. She kicked her legs against his ass and lower back, not even getting a grunt out of him.

Kinsley reached up and grabbed a fistful of his chocolate brown hair. She ignored how silky it felt in her fingers and yanked. Only, instead of yanking to the side like she’d intended, she pulled him down. Right to her lips.

They both froze for a moment, not sure what to do. He still had a death grip on her hair and she on his. She should let go. He should let go. Someone should let go. Warning bells were going off in her head like she was under siege. She opened her mouth