Just Alex

By Angela Flowers

Xander Stone is one of the hottest popstars in the world. His songs are on every radio station. His face graces the cover of every top magazine, especially the tabloids.

Everyone adores him.

Except me.

I hate him.

Xander Stone took away the one person I care about more than anything. My best friend.

Oh, and the real kicker? Xander Stone is my best friend. At least he was at one time. Back when he was just Alex.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Angela Flowers
• Release date: Nov 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463568811

Angela Flowers

Angela Flowers lives in Virginia with her husband, two sons, and four dogs. When she isn’t writing or homeschooling her two boys, she enjoys reading, listening to music, watching TV and spending time with her family.

Book preview

Chapter 1

I can’t believe this, Lena, my roommate, whisper-squealed as she bounced on the balls of her feet beside me.

Smiling weakly, I glanced around the room full of excited Xander Stone fans. A steady buzz of conversation, accompanied by intermittent squeals, fed my growing anxiety. The second we’d stepped into the room where the meet and greet was to take place, my saliva glands had stopped working and my throat had begun to slowly close. I brought my hand up and gripped the lanyard around it. Looking down, I scanned the lettering that granted us all access to the concert.

Xander Stone was currently occupying the top of the pop music charts. Everyone adored him, especially the people in this room who had paid a lot of money to get to spend an hour with him before the show. Not me. I’d seen all the pictures and read the stories. Xander Stone was your typical entitled asshole who thought the rules didn’t apply to him just because he was famous. And given the way everyone fell at his feet, I guess that was true. But not for me. Xander disgusted me, and I would gladly be anywhere else other than here tonight, but Lena was a huge fan and it was her birthday so here we were.

I still can’t believe we’re here, Lena said again, gripping my hand. Thank you for this Sadie. Seriously, this is the best birthday present ever.

Just then the door opened and a woman entered the room, followed by several big, muscular men wearing bright red shirts with the word security written across their shoulders in large, white letters. She introduced herself as Xander’s manager, Shauna Jaymes, and then casually reminded us about the code of conduct we’d all agreed to upon entering this room. As she spoke, the energy in the room surged.

Shauna’s words scrambled in my ears as the reality of what was about to happen to hit me. I was about to come face to face with Xander Stone.

I can’t do this, I mumbled as I staggered backward.

But it was too late. The side door opened and Xander and his bandmates walked into the room. Correction, they sauntered into the room. Everyone was here to see them and they clearly knew it.

Lena squeezed my arm in excitement while my eyes followed Xander as he strode to the front of the room amid cheers of delight. He looked just like his pictures: messy dark hair, captivating blue eyes heavily lined with charcoal, and full lips slanted in that cocky trademark smirk he’d perfected over the years. What the pictures had failed to portray was the broadness of his shoulders and the sharpness of his face now.

Frozen in place, I swallowed and wrapped my arms around myself just as his eyes found me. My lungs seized; his confident smile wobbled. Catching himself, he averted his gaze, cleared his throat, and greeted the room.

For an hour I watched him smile, answer questions, shake hands, offer hugs, and pose for pictures. Finally, Lena and I were next in line. She was practically vibrating as we stepped forward. Xander’s smile widened as he said hello, nearly sending her into cardiac arrest when he called her Birthday Girl.

I heard Lena’s small gasp of surprise, but couldn’t tear my eyes from him. My hand, aching to brush his messy bangs from his face as I’d done so many times before, twitched at my hip, but I was paralyzed by uncertainty. There once was a time when I could look into his eyes and know everything he was thinking, but now I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I suppose that was because it was true.

Xander Stone was a stranger to me.

He turned to me and said, Hello, Sadie Anne.

Just like that, Xander Stone disappeared and I found myself facing Alex Atwood, the boy I’d grown up with.

I couldn’t move … couldn’t speak … couldn’t look away as Alex’s gaze held mine. Silence stretched between us. There was so much to say but nerves rendered us both mute until the sound of the heavy door swinging open, followed by surprised gasps, broke our trance.

I turned to see our friend Drew crossing the room with a birthday cake in his arms. When I looked back to Alex, he was already addressing the crowd, asking everyone to join him in wishing Lena a happy birthday. Then he began to sing. Lena looked like she might faint, so I reached out to steady her, but he beat me to it, pulling her to his side and wrapping an arm around her.

Drew draped his arm around my shoulders and gently pulled me away from the crowd. He and Alex had been friends since they were born and their mothers were best friends. I’d entered the picture when we were eight years old and Alex had befriended me on the playground on my first day at a new school. Drew had instantly accepted me as well and just like that, their dynamic duo turned into a trio.

Are you okay? Drew asked.

I don’t know, I answered honestly as I watched Lena laugh at something Alex said.

Alex looked up, frowning slightly when he saw us huddled in the corner whispering, but his manager said something to him that drew his attention back to the crowd in front of him. A burst of camera flashes lit up the room as he posed for a few final photos, and then thanked everyone for coming.

At the instruction of arena staff, fans began to trickle out of the room. From the corner of my eye, I saw Alex’s guitarist, Tristan, say something to him before their eyes fell on me.

Tristan had been the first band member to join Alex years ago when he first embarked on his journey as the great Xander Stone. Alex and I were still close back then, so Tristan and I had already met and become acquainted.

Sadie! Lena threw her arms around me. Thank you so much for this! She turned to Drew. And you. I was not expecting that cake. Thank you.

Drew shrugged. That was Xander’s idea.

Her brown eyes rounded. You’re kidding.

Nope. Since you’re our friend and Sadie’s roommate, he wanted to make tonight special for you.

He did. Her gaze slid to me. And don’t think we’re not going to talk later about how you two kept the fact that you know Xander Stone from me.

What? I feigned innocence. We’ve talked about our friend Alex before.

"During which you neglected to tell me Alex is Xander."

Come on, ladies, Drew said as he herded us to the door. It’s almost showtime.

As we left, I looked over my shoulder and found the room empty except for a couple of security guards. Alex was gone, and I hadn’t had the chance to wish him good luck on his performance, not that he needed it.

Lena chatted nonstop as we made our way into the belly of the arena. Our passes awarded us a spot up front and center in a small area roped off from the rest of the pit. Thousands of envious eyes followed us as we settled in front of the stage. Within minutes, the lights faded, applause erupted all around us, and the first act took the stage. As they started to play, my mind wandered back to Alex. Did he miss me? Did he ever think about calling or texting me?

When he’d first started touring, we’d tried to keep in touch through Emails, texts, and phone calls, but it hadn’t taken long for all communication to stop completely. He was busy touring the world, doing whatever it was musicians did, while I was caught up in all things high school and college prep.

Cheering dragged me from my thoughts as the opening act shuffled offstage.

I liked them, Lena said.

They weren’t bad, Drew agreed, casting me a questioning glance.

When I simply nodded, his eyes narrowed slightly but he didn’t comment.

Oh my gosh! Lena held up her phone. Xander posted a pic of us and wished me a happy birthday. My follower count is exploding.

I started to say something but Drew elbowed me in the side. He was right, of course. I should let her enjoy this tiny bit of temporary fame. I pulled out my phone so I could join in her excitement and froze when I saw Alex’s message asking us to meet up with him and the guys after the show.

Oh, we’re going, Drew said over my shoulder.

What?

You heard me. How often do we get the chance to hang out with our best friend these days?

But … I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I wanted to hang out with Alex, but I was scared. What if things were too different now?

The lights faded again and screaming of epic proportions ensued, shaking the entire arena as a silhouetted figure stepped on stage. The lights snapped on and there he was. For a split second, I saw my Alex, then his lips curved into his trademark Xander smile, the music started, and he began to sing. My eyes followed him as memories of the boy he used to be saturated my mind, drowning me in a sea of grief all over again.

He’s brilliant, isn’t he? Lena asked.

Unable to drag my eyes from the stage, I nodded. He really was. I should be happy for him, and I wanted to be, but I couldn’t stop the sadness from overshadowing it all.

I missed my friend.

Don’t get me wrong, I was proud of his success. I’d always known he was meant to be more — famous even. Hell, I’d been his number one supporter, yet I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel some resentment. I missed my friend and hated that Xander Stone had taken him away from me.

All around me people cheered, danced, and screamed Xander’s name, driving home the painful truth. Our lives were dramatically different now. He was a famous singer living on the road, visiting a different city or country each night, and I was a simple college student sharing an apartment with my roommate. He went to elaborate parties where people sipped expensive champagne from crystal flutes, while I attended the occasional campus party where people drank cheap beer and vodka from plastic cups.

Choking back a sob, I excused myself before blindly making my way out onto the main concourse, where I leaned back against the cement wall. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. When I opened them again, I spotted a merchandise kiosk and found myself taunted by Xander Stone’s face on tee shirts, hats, and hoodies.

Sade?

I turned to Drew, who was now standing beside me.

Hey, I croaked.

You okay? he asked as his sea-green eyes searched my face.

Not really.

Want to talk about it?

Not really.

Then how about a drink? He took my hand and led me to the nearest vendor.

I took the soda he held out to me and took a long sip, letting the cool liquid soothe my aching throat.

So, he said casually, what do you think of our boy? He’s come a long way, hasn’t he?

Forcing a smile, I said, He was born for this but we always knew that.

It’s still surreal isn’t it? He glanced at me as we stopped in front of the black curtain separating us from the rest of the arena. Lena will get a kick out of partying with the guys after the show, you know. Talk about a dream birthday celebration.

Nodding, I shuffled my feet as the need to move became too much.

He was right; Lena would have a blast. Plus, I knew he was excited about spending time with Alex even though the two of them still talked on a regular basis.

When I’d first found out that I was the only one Alex seemed to have forgotten about I’d been hurt, but I’d gotten over it when it became clear that a ‘regular basis’ meant something completely different to guys. Apparently, a short text every couple of months was enough for them to keep their friendship intact.

Hey, it’s going to be fine, Drew said. You can do this. Even though he’s famous now, he’ll always be just Alex to us.

That was where he was wrong. Alex was never going to be ‘just Alex’ again.

Chapter 2

Drew laced his fingers through mine as we walked into the hotel where Alex was staying. After he quietly relayed some sort of secret password to the stony-faced manager behind the desk, he was handed a keycard and we headed for the elevator.

I am so excited! Lena squealed as the elevator doors slid shut. Aren’t you excited? Of course not. You two are probably used to this kind of thing. I mean, Xander is your friend. Wow! I’m still trying to wrap my head around that. You’re friends with Xander Stone!

Drew and I shared a look. I’d never seen her so animated before.

I know you must think I’m being silly, she said, frowning. You know what? I don’t care. I’m excited. Sue me. Not all of us grew up with a celebrity.

The doors opened and we were met by two security guards. Drew flashed his card and we showed them our IDs. When they stepped aside, we followed the sound of music to an open door. The members of the band looked up as we walked in the room. Alex was conspicuously absent.

Sadie, how goes it? Tristan asked as he engulfed me in a giant hug. When he released me, one arm stayed wrapped around my waist. Introduce us to your lovely friend. Hey, Birthday Girl.

I’d forgotten how handsome Tristan was. His hair was long, blond, and pulled back in a simple black elastic band when he wasn’t on stage. His brown eyes still held that mischievous twinkle that had always caused my heart to race. His partialness for black denim and ripped tee shirts added to his bad boy image.

Lena’s round eyes dropped briefly to his arm around my waist, then she said, I’m Lena.

Hello, Lena. He offered a hand. I’m Tristan. This is Colin, Brian, and Jackson.

I’d met Colin once briefly but Brian and Jackson were new to me. Smiling, I nodded in greeting as I scanned their faces. I could tell immediately that Brian was the broody one. His hair was short and black and his face was set in a scowl as if he was irritated with everything. His dark clothes added to his air of mysteriousness. Jackson was the laid back one, reminding me of a surfer with his long brown hair, eyes the color of the ocean, scruffy chin, and wrinkled shorts and tee shirt. And Colin had short, light brown hair with golden highlights and grey green eyes. Dressed in blue jeans and a tee shirt, he gave off the mediator vibe for sure.

It’s great to see you again, Sadie, Tristan said. How’ve you been?

A plastic cup found its way into my hand, and I sniffed it.

Vodka and cranberry, Jackson said, grinning. Yep, he was the easy going one always up for a good time.

Thanks. I took the cup and sipped.

Tell us all about college life, Colin said as he scooted over to make room for me on the sofa, while Tristan sat down on the other side of me.

Right. Like you guys want to be bored by that.

We want to hear what it’s like to be normal, he insisted.

Okay. I go to class, study, work at the campus coffee shop, study, and sleep when I have the time. Oh, and did I mention study?

They all stared at me for a few minutes before Tristan turned to Drew. Drew, you make sure our girl gets out and has fun, right?

Hearing Tristan refer to me as his sent a tiny jolt of surprising pleasure through me.

Laughing, Drew said, I try. It’s not easy.

"Fuck that. It is easy. Watch. Tristan pulled me up and twirled me in a circle. Brian, hit the music."

Brian turned up the music, giving me no choice but to follow Tristan’s lead. From the corner of my eye, I saw Drew say something to Colin, who gestured to a nearby closed door and shrugged.

Miss Lena, Jackson said as he offered her his hand. Would you care to dance?

Smiling, Lena nodded and she and Jackson joined us. After a couple of songs, we returned to the sofa.

See, Drew? Tristan smirked. It’s that easy.

Whatever, man. Try living with her on almost a daily basis. I guarantee she won’t be as easy going.

What? Tristan looked back and forth between us. You live together? Since when?

There was a hint of jealousy nipping at the edges of his words. What was that?

We don’t, I said quickly.

Although we have considered charging him rent since he spends so much time at our place, Lena chimed in.

Hey, I pay rent in coffee, donuts, and food, Drew argued.

Doesn’t Sadie get free coffee because she works at a coffee place? Colin asked.

Lena and I burst into laughter.

Stop busting his balls, Tristan said. I don’t blame him for wanting to hang around such pretty women. He cast a flirty wink in our direction. I’d do the same thing if I were in his shoes.

"Of course you would," Jackson said, rolling his eyes.

It was well known that, while all of them embraced their rockstar status, Tristan was the biggest player of the group. He didn’t try to hide it at all either.

It’s not like that, Drew said. We’re just friends.

You and Sadie, yeah, but you and Lena never considered hooking up?

Oh, God, Lena groaned, covering her face with her hands.

I’m empty, I said as I raised my cup.

I gotcha. Jackson jumped up and went to the bar. When he turned around the smile faded from his face.

We all turned to see Alex, now dressed in a simple white tee shirt and black jeans, standing in the doorway of his bedroom. His arms were crossed and he was scowling at Tristan. Then he blinked and smiled as he turned to Drew.

Hey, he said as he came into the room.

Brian quickly vacated the chair he’d been sitting in so Alex could have a seat. Jackson brought Alex, who didn’t even bother to thank him, a drink. Colin scooted up to the edge of his seat as if he were ready to spring into action at any moment.

Birthday Girl, Alex said, how’s your night been so far?

Her name is Lena, I snapped.

I felt Tristan tense beside me, and Alex raised his eyebrows. It’s her birthday, so I think Birthday Girl is appropriate. Lena, do you mind if I call you Birthday Girl?

Her gaze fell to the floor. N-no.

Good. I wouldn’t want to offend you.

Her eyes jerked up to meet his. Oh, you haven’t. Not at all.

Alex sent me a pointed look just as Jackson reappeared with my refill. Smiling, I thanked him and drank half of it in one go.

Easy, Tristan whispered.

Excuse me, I announced, vaulting to my feet. I barely made it through the door before Drew grabbed my arm.

Sade, what is going on?

I don’t know. I rubbed at my temples. He just came in acting all high and mighty and … entitled.

What are you talking about? He barely said two words and you jumped down his throat.

You’re kidding, right? Did you not see the way everyone reacted when he came into the room? Serving him. Giving up their seats. And did he bother to say thank you? No. And his tone when he called Lena Birthday Girl—

There was no tone. And the way his band treats him is perfectly normal. He’s their boss.

I closed my eyes against the burning tears. I was not going to cry over this.