Anthropocene Dreams

By Raul Lazaro

There's something wrong with Andrew Mackey. Andrew, a socially inept college freshman, has been experiencing increasingly strange dreams as of late, and couple that with the stressors of college, the distinction between dreams and reality has started to blur, and whatever is causing this to happen to him never seems to be too far away. When exactly does a dream become a nightmare, or a friend become foe? When it's too late. In this novella, follow Andrew through his dizzying intersection of dreams and waking-life as he encounters a whole cast of bizaare characters, whether they exist or not, to find meaning in his dreams, and in his life as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Raul Lazaro
• Release date: Nov 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393324102

Book preview

To an angel, with love

I

I FOUND IT BENEATH the waves. Beneath the jagged rocks that swallow the cold saltwater of the Atlantic. Hiding under this rough embrace, is something none of us could have possibly imagined, yet dwells within us always. The earth might believe that it is stronger because the waves cannot shatter the seaside with a single push. But the Earth knows it will be consumed, eventually. It had been part of the sea before and will be again. If the Earth had known this, it wouldn’t be afraid. It wouldn’t fight. But it did. It had to.

I genuinely believe that it is impossible for me to explain to you the location of the place in question. This conversation. This interaction between me and you. This language. And the many that surround it. Not to mention the many from which it was birthed. It is as impossible to explain as it is to comprehend. But, although our modern tongue, as well as the many who have come before are simply imitations of one that is primordial. The language by which our cells speak to one another. A sort of ethereal, practically instantaneous language. The language by which our bodies translate input before sending it to the brain. This physical language continuously builds the reality set before us. We are pulled through this reality, a labyrinth created for us, by us. We find ourselves caught between the perpetual ebb and flow of past and future yet thrust forward infinitely. This is why the only way we can separate dreams from reality is by waking up. And as soon as we’ve awaken, this reality created by our minds fizzles and pops from existence. Fading eternally from the light of our attention. I can only hope that I can remember it long enough to write down my experiences, before they too are snuffed out under the oppressive march of time. Marching in an endless war that engulfs every man and woman, whether they have the audacity to exist or not.

I’m not entirely sure how I managed to find this place. It wasn’t within my body, but I couldn’t quite decide if I were dreaming or not. Would I even be capable of telling the difference? For a brief moment I was beyond physical. I flew, or at least that’s what it felt like. I didn’t feel height, nor wind. I didn’t feel the fear. Whatever I thought, was. Where I wanted to be, I was. Until I reached this particular seaside.

I wasn’t sure how I knew to go there. But I was. I flew to the east, or maybe the west? I heard the wave’s crash and recede, preparing for another blow against the rocky outcropping.

I had been here before.

I felt no sensations besides what I knew I was supposed to feel. The salt. The mist. The cool air. I turned to see the moon above. She was beautiful tonight, but she was shy. She’d hide her face again. It’s a shame really. I turned back around just in time to see myself dropping, slowly, towards what appeared to be nothing more than a shadowy poker chip beneath the waves.

At this point I felt less as if I was willing myself here, and more that I found myself being willed. A sort of magnet for wayward souls. A dark vortex whose will was to swallow, to consume, and I had found it. Not that I was afraid, but that I was eager to see where I was destined to land. Or perish. Perhaps both?

In a flash, I dove beneath the waves. The freezing water encompassed me. At least it was supposed to be freezing. Yet, I could see clearly. I should be blind but I beheld the beauties of the ocean. Those things which she kept to herself. Although I was flowing through the water like dye, I somehow knew that where I found myself headed still belonged to the earth. But for how long remained a mystery.

A hole. A dark ring. A chasm. A void. When faced with the abyss I finally felt a twinge of anxiety rise from a primal part of me that still found use in our society and at once I wanted to turn back. But then I thought of where I had come from. Where I had to go. Where I wanted to go. And I realized I was just as unsure of them as I was about where I was headed. This void that swallowed earth, water, and souls alike. Before these thoughts came to their natural end, I was consumed by the dark, icy waters of the chasm.

WERE MY EYES OPEN OR closed? I couldn’t help but wonder. It didn’t make a difference. Did I have eyes? I didn’t have time to think about that. I was being pulled forward. Into the unknown. I should have been worried. But I failed to follow that train of thought. It simply felt like the natural order of things. Did I go straight down, left, or right? It didn’t matter. I was going forward, I knew this for sure. I was being carried one moment, and the next regurgitated upwards. Floating gently towards an alabaster sea of white above me.

I arose in a spacious pool. The orange hue of a setting sun encapsulated me. I quickly realized that I had a body at this point and I was floating on my back. I leaned my head up slowly. With a wall of rocks behind me there was no going back down the hole from which I came. I was here now. Wherever that was. To the north I saw rows of houses complete with power lines, mailboxes, lawns. To me it appeared to be just a quaint little town. I squinted, but I could barely make anything else out about these abodes. Crimson red brick held up by ivory columns. By the time I took in my surroundings the water had floated me close to what I believe to be a boat ramp. I effortlessly climbed onto the ground and took a look around. The heat from the pavement radiated through the bottom of my feet.

The setting sun had blinded me at first, but now I felt the warm blanket of sun and closed my eyes in appreciation, basking in its glow. I could feel it in every part of my body. Or the body I possessed at this time. Stained white sneakers, blue jeans faded at the knees, and a simple grey t-shirt. They should have been wet, but that wasn’t what was on my mind at this moment. It vaguely resembled the idea of what I looked like. I would have to see my face to be sure. If I had one.

They were houses I had seen before. Passed by or perhaps have seen in a picture. I might have even been in a few of them. But one stood out. I knew this place well.

It was my home.

It was a poor representation of where I grew up. Not that I was worried, or frightened to begin with, but now I felt a sense of familiarity that many of us only know one time. My home. With my family.

I began making my way there.

I knew it didn’t belong here. We lived out in the country, not in a generic suburb. It was an old stone house built during the early 60’s. A baby blue door that my grandfather had painted was what gave it away. We had a big yard, and hickory trees. The closer I got, the less I focused on the other houses surrounding it, or I simply forgot to think of them. I miss him.

As I approached the door, my front door, I was stopped by a man. I’m surprised I hadn’t seen him walking. I didn’t recognize him but I wasn’t afraid of him either. He was taller than me, a little over six feet, and lanky, probably thirty with relaxed brown eyes, smile lines, and wrinkles on his forehead. He had a pleasant half smile on his face.

"And what are you doing around here, young man?" the man asked, startling me slightly. 

I’m not sure, going home I suppose. I responded, calmly.

Ahh, I see...well, I don’t want to get in your way. This your house? The man asked very relaxed, crossing his arms inquisitively.

I’m pretty sure. It looks like it. Why do you ask?

I mean it’s not a problem I was just wondering is all. Are you just visiting?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Well, hey...that’s good. the man continued, wrapping a long arm around my neck.

And let me go ahead and tell you, if you are looking for a good visit then you’re gonna want to keep it short. he explained.

Why is that?

It’s not that it would be a problem if you stayed longer, but...usually, well, we just don’t get a lot of people like yourself is all. I hope I didn’t offend you or anything by that I just would think you’d want to get the best experience is all. You understand? He continued.

Oh, okay. I said as if I understood.

And maybe somehow I did.

With his arm still around my shoulders he walked with me to the front door of my house. I didn’t think much about this reaction for some reason. His face was familiar, but I was sure I had never seen it before. I didn’t hesitate to knock on the door. Three quick, sharp, raps. I held my hand up to knock another three times when the door flew open and I was greeted by a young woman. She couldn’t have been older than twenty. She had dark eyes and dark, curly hair. She had olive colored skin but it could be better likened to cream. It was a very pleasant color. She stood not much taller than five feet. She had a smile on her face. A pleasant smile that seemed to force itself upon my own.

I can’t believe you actually made it! she exclaimed.

You guys come in here, it’s Andrew! she yelled down the hall.

Her exclamation seemed to garner no response from the occupants of the hallway behind her.

Once again she had a familiarity to her face. I had seen her before, somewhere, sometime. I looked over at the man to my right and he smiled.

Looks like you had some people already waiting on you, huh?

And with that we stepped through the door.

It was a long, dimly lit hallway with only streaks of the now sherbet sun to guide us. The man removed his hand but remained close by my side. The woman in front of me led the way. The hallway smelled of cigarette smoke. I wasn’t sure if this was due to someone smoking recently or it was a more permanent smell that had made its home within the emerald and mustard colored carpet.

So, what took you so long? she inquired, quickly peeking over her shoulder.

I’m not entirely sure what you mean. I responded, increasing my stride to keep up.

She was short, but she walked with such a sense of urgency that by the time I finished observing the ash colored walls and popcorn ceiling there was eight feet of space between the two of us. I still hadn’t seen another door other than the one we had just entered. Who could she have been talking to?

We continued walking. I looked over at the man to the right of me and he was staring straight ahead. He soon noticed my glance and put on a closed lip smile, closing his eyes. It almost made me laugh. There was no way that my house was this long. I was starting to get anxious. Her lack of a response didn’t help either.

I’m not sure what you mean. I repeated, stepping closer to her.

Nothing, it’s just that we didn’t expect you to take so long is all. she finally replied.

This response didn’t quell my anxiety.

So, where are we headed now? I asked.

My voice cracking halfway through the sentence.

To the bar.

The bar?

Yeah, we were instructed to keep this quick so we thought we’d just take you to the bar and let you take it from there. There are some people who have been looking forward to meeting you for a long time. she explained nonchalantly.

Ahh...

...May I ask who? I inquired.

An old maple door finally came into view.

She turned around at the door at gave me another smile.

Stop worrying so much. Why would I want to ruin the surprise?

I’m sorry, you’re right, I guess I’ve already met two?

"Yes sir. Oh, and don’t think too much, it’ll ruin the vibe alright? Just relax. It’s about the experience." She continued.

The golden knob was out of place on the bleak, tarnished wood. She hit the door with one firm knock. I looked back over at the man. He raised his eyebrows twice.

Alright, I guess I shouldn’t keep em’ waiting.

II

THE DOOR OPENED. THE smell of smoke rushed into my nostrils as the woman walked through the doorway. I followed close behind.

The room had dark concrete floors. In the center of the room stood a billiards table surrounded by grizzled men focused on the current game, which now consisted of only the eight ball. They didn’t notice us enter at first. The sides of the room were lined with booths lit with only a single, small tea light candle. Several being occupied by what seemed to be only shadows in the dimly lit hall. Above the billiards table hung by a chain was a lamp with only one bulb surrounded by green glass giving the room an emerald glow.

I had entered from the bottom left corner of the room. Ahead of me attached to the furthest wall was an oak bar being manned by a single bartender. He was managing to clean a glass and keep an eye on the game simultaneously. An impressive feat. It was relatively rowdy when I had entered, but the room grew silent as the largest man called a pocket and prepared to shoot. Miss. And once again the room was filled with noise by the patrons. There were four doors in this room. The one I had entered from, one directly in front of me to the left of the bar, one to the right of the bar, and another that I couldn’t make out well as it had managed to avoid the miniscule amount of light in the room.

The girl who had led me into the room took a seat at an empty booth, the old green leather sighing from the weight. I turned around to find the man but he was no longer behind me. Had I lost him when I was taking in the view? No, I don’t think I could have. He was right beside me.

Hey, kid, take a load off. Your friend wanted me to tell you that he had to leave. Said he was a recovering alcoholic or something. Said he promised his wife or somethin’.She managed to say over the noise.

I sat down with my legs at a ninety degree angle, feet facing the woman. I rubbed my nose. I had been around smokers, but once you get it condensed within a single room you can’t