Funny Stories for Kids: Family Wars Episode II: Escape from the Detention Star

By Tyler Shaw and Russell Sanders

*FULLY ILLUSTRATED*

The long awaited riveting and hilariously ridiculous sequel to Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner, is released at last by the famed Dweezel and Pallie!

Having betrayed his family to the evil Emperor, Dark Zader must find a way to rescue his family of rebel scum from the largest and most secure prison in the galaxy, the Detention Star. Dark Zader is trying to lead a double life, secretly keeping to the light side of the fizz while working for his former master, the vile Emperor Eugene and his Cosmic Empire.

Meanwhile John Solar, Nuke Landhopper, Princess Neia, and the rest of the gang deal with the brutal realities of prison life, such as their impending execution, gangs, and toilets without privacy. Along the way they'll make a new friend, Stardoe. (Dweezel and Pallie decline to comment on any similarities to the female Starbuck of the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica)

Read on as Dark Zader, Nuke Landhopper, John Solar, and Princess Neia, and a few surprise friends try to make their family work, sitcom style.

Double the excitement!
Triple the laughs!
Paintbrush illustrations!

This is Family Wars, Episode II, Escape from the Detention Star

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dead Duck Media
• Release date: May 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370902286

Book preview

Funny Stories for Kids

Family Wars Episode II:

Escape from the Detention Star

Starring Dark Zader

Written by:

Tyler Shaw

&

Russell Sanders

Rights

Thank you for downloading this ebook. It is licensed for your personal use but may not be altered or redistributed. Thank you and enjoy!

© 2016 Dweezel and Pallie eBooks

© 2019 Dead Duck Media

All Rights Reserved.

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Acknowledgments

Cover art:

Andrea Piera Laguzzi

https://www.facebook.com/Andrealaguzziillustration/

Editorial Assistance:

Charlie Ward, author of Frotwoot’s Faerie Tales and Zoey Nova

Opening Crawl

Some time ago, out among the stars...

FAMILY WARS

Episode II:

Escape from the Detention Star

Dark Zader has betrayed his family to the

evil COSMIC EMPIRE to get his old job

back. Nuke Landhopper, Princess Neia,

and John Solar languish in prison.

Feeling guilty, Zader attempts to free them

using the best methods available to him…..

Chapter 1

Master? Dark Zader, (formerly) evil lord of the Gith, asked in his awesomely deep voice.

Blammit! exclaimed the white, wrinkled, dark-robed, magic-using villain, throwing his headset off with a clang. What are you doing here? Can’t you see I’m busy?!

Several spooky, glowing blue holograms glared back at Zader. The Emperor had been in a teleconference with his governing underlings.

But master, I need to talk to you, Zader simpered. It’s important. I have a question.

The Emperor pressed a button on his desk.

I told you to never let Lord Zader disturb me. You’re fired!

The secretary swore back as the Emperor cut off the communication.

Master, Zader continued, It’s about my family--I mean, the rebel scum I captured.

Zader had to tread carefully here, he didn’t want the Emperor to know that he had any sympathy for his family, a group of heroes that had fought tirelessly against Emperor Eugene and his Stellar Empire.

I’m not going to tell you anything about them, Eugene cracked irritably. If I tell you where they are you’ll just have a change of heart and rescue them.

No master, I promise I won’t have a change of heart this time.

Lord Zader, you’re always having change of hearts! Changes of heart... The Emperor scrunched his face in confusion at the wording. Whatever! You always do that, you’re so predictable. First, you’re good, then you’re killing little Meti babies, then you’re bad, but you’re throwing me down a three hundred mile radioactive plasma infused shaft, where I am ejected into the frozen vacuum of space and exploded on with shrapnel--

Yes master, I know, I know, I threw you down the shaft on the Doom Sphere.

Yes, you did, and I’m still pissed about it! Anyway, I know how you think. That’s why you’re so easy to manipulate.

But I, uh… Zader fumbled for the words needed to change the Emperor’s mind.

Get out of here!

Fine… mumbled Zader, But I don’t have to be happy about it.

Be happy about it! The Emperor ordered. And get me some lunch.

Chapter 2

Nuke Landhopper, the famous Meti Knight, hero of the galactic revolution, couldn’t believe his rotten luck. His dad, Dark Zader, had turned evil again and betrayed his family, and had gotten them all thrown into jail aboard the massive prison space station, the Detention Star. The worst part was that Nuke had to wear a really ugly purple zebra-striped vest that made it so he couldn’t use the fizz at all.

Nuke, along with his sister Neia, her husband John, his friends Zando and Hairywonka (a huge furry dog/bear/man), and the two droids, TCB0 and R1-21, all wearing orange jumpsuits (yes, they had a specially-fitted one for the trashcan shaped R1, and they had rudely tailored Nuke’s so that his girly vest was showing), stepped out into a huge room for their first yard time aboard the Detention Star. Yellow sand covered the floor and high barbed-wire fences hemmed the space in, even though the station was in space.

I thought a space station would be cleaner, said Neia.

They just want everybody to have the complete prison experience, said Zando. Didn’t any of you guys read the brochure?

Hey everybody, a dirty prisoner grunted, Look at the FRUIT!

Nuke's face reddened and his shoulders slumped as several groups of thugs pointed their fingers at him and laughed.

I can’t take it off! Nuke tried to explain.

"And look at the lady," shouted