The System for Her, Part 3: Doc Love Lessons in Betty Neels Heroines: The System for Her, #3

By Janice Seto

In this third book on her series on relationships inspired by Thomas Hodges AKA Doc Love, author Janice Seto examines female happiness. The System for Women, Part 3: Doc Love Lesssons in Betty Neels Heroines keeps it simple: bid good-bye to Blockers and other Veronicas and embrace your time-saving Reality Factors and the Bottom Line.

Adapting the wisdom of Doc Love with examples in the over 130 Harlequin/Mills & Boon books by Mrs Neels, Janice Seto's The System for Women series provides clear insight into tne mysterious behaviour of women and men in pursuit of their Happily Ever After.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Janice Seto
• Release date: Sep 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9781926935270

Janice Seto

Janice Seto writes non-fiction and commentary including articles for The Bridge, the publication of The Malaysia-Canada Business Council. Recently she has assisted James Rogers on his book, The Expat Teacher Job Search Guide. Her four-part series on relationships based on Doc Love.com and the books of Betty Neels is now available in print and ebook format. Janice gets her laughs via the Doc Love podcast and weekly radio show, accessible to members of the DocLoveClub http://www.doclove.com/.   Works in progress by Janice Seto include the Royalty Meets Enneagram series on the Enneagram personality typology, Royalty Meets Enneagram: Understanding Personality Style 7: Meghan Markle, Sarah Ferguson, Princess Tessy, was published in time for the 2018 royal wedding. Janice Seto is also writing a travel guide series designed for the JKC tourist (Japanese, Korean, Chinese).  www.janiceseto.com

Book preview

1.  Introducing The Women in Betty Neels Romances

READERS REACH FOR A Betty Neels romance knowing the final page brings together three satisfying elements: a plucky heroine, her worthy hero, and a Happily Ever After (HEA). Along the way, give or take 9 chapters, these three factors hover, graze each other, clash, and align in a satisfying fit. With a touch of realism, each book allows her fanbase of women readers to pass time feeling you have met people just a short drive away from home.

Unlike other romances, you know the hero and heroine are going to make it – not because they reside in a bubble but they live among the cast of realistically-depicted characters in the Betty Neels universe. As per the Sesame Street song ‘Who are people in your neighbourhood’, you could nod knowingly when the heroine encounters the supporting characters, bystanders, grocers, work colleagues, household staff, and most important, the hero, throughout the course of the novel. The author herself had met all types of people in her 90 years, growing up in rural England, schooling and nursing career on both sides of the English Channel, in the Netherlands, and back in the UK, through WWII and recovery, marriage and motherhood, a second career as a writer til her passing in 2001. 

Betty Neels drew upon a lifetime of observing people and circumstances to vividly depict that two people meet and either grow apart or grow together.  From this intimate shared experience, a woman of character and a Gentleman can sow and harvest a HEA. In other words, she knows how they can get there.

As does Doc Love. This explains why his book, The Dating Dictionary, and the Mastery series work so well for men. Doc Love has interviewed over 10,000 women in his professional working life. Adding his extensive research to his insights from a people-focused career in sales, Doc Love has accumulated the depth of understanding in relationship behaviour to create The System.

In The System for Her, Part 3: Doc Love Lessons & Betty Neels Heroines, I focus on the heroines of HEA. In Part 2, the men need work, they need to step up their game to become Gentlemen. By contrast, in Part 2, the women need to step back.

Stepping back is to prune in order for a woman to become heroines who attract and keep quality men. Any baker knows that you have to have good ingredients, especially good yeast, to make bread rise. Only when there is high quality in both the hero and the heroine can a HEA be possible. In short, men need to bring more to the table and women need to minimize what they bring.

The essentials of a high quality Lady can be boiled down to these three: Flexibility, High Integrity, and the spirit of participating & engaging in life (Giving). That is basically all you need, very do-able. Any sane Gentleman is drawn to this appealing combination.

What prevents many women from centring on these 3 essentials is a propensity to hold onto a myriad of resources and people and relationships... ‘just in case’. 

Does that not sound like hoarding, in all its forms? Hoarding outdated, outmoded, outlived-its-usefulness, past-its-best-buy-date items takes up room in the trunk (or as Betty Neels would say, the boot) of a woman’s car. Hoarding sucks up oxygen and physical space and emotional energy that are rightly reserved for better purposes. Like a HEA! Women need to guard against this tendency – which means vigilance and regular spring cleaning.

This book is an intervention to all women who take on too much, who had mistakenly applied the ‘lean in’ ethos indiscriminately to all aspects of her daily life: this book makes it clear just how to de-clutter and minimize.

Coco Chanel is reputed to say, Elegance is refusal. Let’s refuse to take on someone else’s problems, get rid of baggage, focus on maximizing flexibility, integrity, and giving, and clear your slate for a HEA.

.

2.  The Natural (Woman): The Lady has it together

SHE HAS IT TOGETHER. No wonder people want to get together with her. She is inspiring and an example on how to deal with the world as it is.

Who is she? She is one of the 3% of all women who understand women, especially the most important woman of them all: herself. Her preferences, her values, her story. The System calls her male counterpart a Natural Gentleman. It would be a cliché to call her is a Natural Woman because she has it together. I will just say this Lady, ie sane, not crazy woman, presents a clean slate.

According to Doc Love, the Natural Gentleman understands that sane women respond positively to a man who has the 3 Cs – Confidence, Control, and Challenge. One exemplar is Katrina Gibbs, 24. She is sane and has it together – Flexible, High Integrity, Giving - no wonder she attracts Professor Simon Glenville, 39, in The Innocent Bride.

Eminent haematologist Professor Glenville lived contently in his divine bachelorhood until his Bentley bumps by statuesque beauty Katrina, who had just been bumped into by a motorcyclist on the wrong side of a country road. His initially mild Interest Level (physical attraction) kept rising as he gained increasing ‘time-in’ seeing Katrina over the course of several months. She unwittingly presented him a delightful combination of Flexibility, Integrity, and Giving – and Miss Gibbs was in turn smitten with his Confidence, self-Control, Challenge.

In addition to what she has plenty of, what attracts Simon is what young Katrina has not – the Red Flag of Naïveté. After all, the 15 year age difference and implied naiveté is a turn-on for some men, of molding a sheltered, rural maiden, ignorant of ‘the ways of the world’. (Which gets real old... real fast.)  In the case of 24 year old Katrina, she is no naïf... her living in rural England belies