Free Cornish Army: And Other Stuff I Could Have Been Arrested For

By Chris Dolley

A short memoir of a huge hoax.

The true story of a student who, to publicise Plymouth Charities Week, created the Free Cornish Army and convinced the UK media that Cornwall had risen up and declared independence.

As he told police at the time, "It was only a small country, and I did give it back."

But how do you follow a hoax that pushed the 1974 general election result off the front page?

Well...

This 36-page memoir contains five hilarious stories from Chris's early life - from the Free Cornish Army and other outrageous Rag Week stunts, to the day he created the most aggressive chess program the world has ever seen.

Chris Dolley's first memoir - French Fried: One Man's Move to France With Too Many Animals and an Identity Thief - was a New York Times bestseller.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book View Cafe
• Release date: Sep 5, 2019
• ISBN: 9781611388367

Chris Dolley

Chris Dolley is a New York Times bestselling author, a pioneer computer game designer and a teenage freedom fighter. That was in 1974 when Chris was tasked with publicising Plymouth Rag Week. Some people might have arranged an interview with the local newspaper. Chris created the Free Cornish Army, invaded the country next door, and persuaded the UK media that Cornwall had risen up and declared independence. As he told journalists at the time, 'It was only a small country, and I did give it back.'In 1981, he created Randomberry Games and wrote Necromancer, one of the first 3D first person perspective D&D computer games.In 2004, his acclaimed novel, Resonance, was the first book plucked out of Baen's electronic slushpile.Now he lives in rural France with his wife and a frightening number of animals. They grow their own food and solve their own crimes. The latter out of necessity when Chris's identity was stolen along with their life savings. Abandoned by the police forces of four countries who all insisted the crime originated in someone else's jurisdiction, he had to solve the crime himself. Which he did, and got a book out of it - the International bestseller, French Fried: One Man's Move to France With Too Many Animals And An Identity Thief.He writes SF, Fantasy, Mystery, Humour and Memoir. His memoir, French Fried, is an NY Times bestseller. What Ho, Automaton! - the first of his Reeves and Worcester Steampunk Mysteries series - was a finalist for the 2012 WSFA Small Press Award.

Book preview

The Free Cornish Army

And Other Things I Could Have Been Arrested For

Chris Dolley

All Rights Reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.

Copyright © 2019 by Chris Dolley

A Smashwords edition

Published by Book View Café

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ISBN 13: 978-1-61138-836-7

Background cover art ID 4430506 © Marilyn Volan | Dreamstime.com

Cover design by Chris Dolley

The Free Cornish Army

It was the 3rd of March 1974. Britain was in turmoil. Ted Heath, the Prime Minister, had just lost a general election, but refused to resign. His Conservative party had fewer MPs than Labour, but he thought he might be able to persuade the Liberal Party to join a coalition. The front pages of the Sunday papers were teeming with speculation.

Except one. The Sunday Independent led with a very different story.

THE WEST’S SECRET ARMY.

Underneath the headline was a photo of four masked paramilitaries charging over a hill-side. And, below that, the chilling news that the Free Cornish Army claimed to have forty fully trained units ready for action. The ballot box had failed, the FCA said. The Cornish Nationalist party, Mebyon Kernow, hadn’t won a single seat in Thursday’s election. Now was the time for more direct action. The torches of freedom had been lit throughout Kernow and we shall not see them extinguished in our lifetime.

So began one of the great hoaxes of the 1970s.

Of course you couldn’t do this today without being whisked off to Guantanamo but, back in the more innocent seventies, freedom of expression included the right of teenagers to seize the country next door — as long as it was for a good cause.

This is my story. The true account of a young man who, tasked with the job of publicising Plymouth Rag Week, took matters a little further than people expected. Some students would have arranged an interview with the local newspaper. I created the Free Cornish Army, took two battalions across the border, and convinced the UK media that Cornwall had risen up and declared independence. As I told police at the time, It was only a small country, and I did give it back.

~

It all started at the National Rag Conference in late 1973. I was nineteen years old and the newly-elected Plymouth Area Rag Chairman. For those unfamiliar with the term, Rag Weeks are a British institution. A week when university students come up with all manner of stunts and activities to raise money for charity. Dressing up is obligatory. Fun is compulsory.

Reviews for Free Cornish Army

[pjasion-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

As Chris Dolley is definitely one of my "top 5, all time" authors, getting a peek of him as a younger man was outstanding. Being from the United States I had no idea of the formation of the Free Cornish Army or its instigator until now!As usual, I giggled, chuckled and laughed out loud while reading this. In my 70 years I know I have never enjoyed reading the works of any author more than Chris. His mastery of humor and puns are unrivalled. If you're just discovering him, definitely check out anything he's written. I just wish it was a whole lot more... And I'll say it again, we are so way overdue for the next Reeves and Worcester Mystery it isn't funny anymore - to the point that I'm mildly depressed.

[kristincedar · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Stories from being a kid are the best ones, the story of "how did i get out of this alive," always are the best ones to tell, and Chris Dolley tells it wonderfully. I love this book. If I had to complain about one thing, and one thing only is that it is only 49 pages, and that is just not long enough. When it ended, I literally said out loud (that's it?). Please tell me more. Make it a pseudo fictional account and go full story. Would love it.

[griffin22 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I found this memoir reasonably amusing. Ironically I enjoyed the title story least, and preferred the other snippets more - especially “First Contact” which I loved. Maybe I’m just not really a fan of practical jokes? I wouldn’t mind reading the author’s “real” books, especially since I’m a fan of PG Wodehouse.

[wulf_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This short work is the partial autobiography of an author I have previously come across from lighthearted works like his ‘Reeves and Worcester’ steampunk detective stories. It covers a brief period of his life in the 1970s, organising japes for the Plymouth student rag week and also touching on his early experience of computer game programming (Dolley is an author of games as well as books).To coin a word, this might be better called an autobiographlet. It is literally only a few chapters from his story but, from what I recall of his sense of humour from what I’ve previously read, it explains a lot (or he is spinning another one of those yarns).Whether accurate or perhaps a little elaborated, Free Cornish Army is an entertaining short read and certainly captures the spirit of a time in recent history when rules, regulations and red-tape were all a little more flexible than they sometimes seem today.

[pratchettfan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Free Cornish Army is a short collection of autobiographical tales by Chris Dolley, recounting adventures during his college years in the Seventies.The first chapters deal with how Chris and his classmates invented the Free Cornish Army, a hoax that made front page news.I greatly enjoyed this short collection and was continuously amazed with what they were able to get away with. I can highly recommend this to anyone who likes humorous stories.

[pat.e.prior · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A series of short, funny things that were gotten away with in the youth and innocence of the 1970's. This book is an ode to innocence as well as a peek into the future. Chris Dolley did an excellent job in making me laugh and remember the outlandish pranks I was involved in during that time. The 60's were gone, and the 80's weren't even a dream yet. But boy, we did have imagination. A great little read.

[camelama_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

“ Free Cornish Army: And Other Stuff I Could Have Been Arrested For” is a fun read. I chuckled through all the stories, and could see the people involved in my mind. I could feel the tension in the waiting room scene, and held my breath along with the author. I wish the first chapter / episode had had more of a wrap-up. It felt like far more “covering my bases” / “averting danger” build-up than the denouement needed, and there was no reveal of the ultimate success of the charitable quest. (Perhaps the lack of a reveal is the reveal - not a success?)I thought it was a good mix of stories, good pacing, and a light touch with the humor. Poking fun at himself, the author got me on his side, so the few jibes at others felt ok. The entire time I was reading this, I felt like the author would enjoy P.G. Wodehouse. Ha! Upon finishing the book, I was presented with a list of other works by the author, and he has written a few Wodehouse mashups! I should have known. I would recommend this to any fan of Wodehouse or Walpole, Douglas Adams, etc.

[paine38 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A tidy, humorous, and short memoir. About 65% of the book details various Plymouth Rag Week stunts (explained in the book) that the author orchestrated and the rest talks about some of the author's time in the Home Office. It's fairly clean and a quick read. The only thing I didn't like was that it ended too fast. A great book!I received this book from the Library Thing Early Reviewers giveaway in exchange for an honest review.

[waltnoise_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This concise volume is the definitive history of the Free Cornish Army. Reading it inspired me to get back to work on my memoir of my time in the Symbionese Liberation Navy.

[markknapp · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Unusual and interesting collection of stories from the author's college days. I was unfamiliar with the Free Cornish Army but it was a helluva prank. Well-written, entertaining stories about the events and aftermath. I only wish it was longer, but it looks like there are other books by the author on his exploits. "Always get the police on your side first" is a good motto, and one that has worked for me over the years (when I've actually applied it.)