Holy Unbelievable

By PC Dixon

With an entertaining mix of serious rational analysis and hilarious observations 'Holy Unbelievable' looks at why so many people still believe in the existence of a divine being. The biblical text is examined and its many contradictions and absurdities laid bare.

Is religion the source of human morality? Is worship really the main purpose of human existence? Did Noah genuinely build an ark? It is fair to say that PC Dixon is not convinced.

Religion still has a remarkable hold over many, even in today's scientifically advanced world. 'Holy Unbelievable' looks at why this should be and why we should try to change things.

Whether you are a believer or not this book offers much food for thought and plenty of amusement.

• Language: English
• Publisher: PC Dixon
• Release date: Aug 26, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463647899

Book preview

Holy Unbelievable

PC Dixon

Copyright © 2013 PC Dixon

The moral right of the author has been asserted. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

A CIP record for this book is available from the British Library

Acknowledgements

I cannot allow this book to go into print without acknowledging the work of Richard Dawkins in paving the way for more and more people to put their heads above the parapet and question the various religious belief systems around the world. His book, The God Delusion, was, and is, a sublime critique of so much that religious folk accept without question and anyone who is reading this without having read Mr Dawkins’ book please remedy that omission as soon as you are able.

Many of my favourite sections contained within The God Delusion were those which examined verses from scripture. Reading these first kindled thoughts of writing something myself. My second inspiration came in the form of the comedy stand-up show Christ on a Bike by English comedian Richard Herring. Mr Herring’s routine includes a lengthy section concerning the genealogy of Jesus as listed in the Gospels of St Matthew and St Luke which I found fabulously insightful, extremely clever and utterly hilarious. It was the combination of the serious criticisms of the morals and values within The Bible as examined by Dawkins and the sheer comedy value available from the contradictions elucidated by Herring that ultimately led to the book in your hands today. I thank both of them for their inspiration and hope they don’t feel that I have plagiarised them to any significant degree! I certainly haven’t intended to, although the chance to emphasise the issues with the genealogy of Jesus as raised by Mr Herring was too great to pass up. If you want to see that part of the New Testament handled in a far funnier way then you can purchase Christ on a Bike on DVD, which I hope you will do. Indeed during the course of this book I have referred to an exchange between Mr Herring and a Christian protestor outside one of his shows, which can be found in one of the ‘extras’ included with that particular DVD, as it contains a wonderfully clear, yet ultimately quite depressing, example of how closed to alternatives a human mind can be.

I would also like to acknowledge biblegateway.com which proved an invaluable source of research containing, as it does, all the versions of The Bible you could possibly imagine. Although I am clearly at variance with the people behind the site as to what should be read into the numerous texts they have available I have no hesitation in confirming that it is an absolutely excellent place to go as far as being able to read and search for biblical writings is concerned.

In terms of the text of The Bible there are numerous versions that have been used over the centuries. Until I began this project I was unaware that the various versions are subject to different copyright restrictions. It is as a result of this that I have chosen to restrict my quotations to the New Revised Standard Version which operates a ‘Gratis Use’ policy subject to certain criteria with which I have ensured my compliance.

These criteria include restricting quotations to less than five hundred verses in total and not quoting any complete books. The first of these proved trickier than I had first imagined. I have had to revise and restrict my use of quotations in order to stay within this limit. The number of verses I have ended up quoting actually totals 493, although in keeping with the spirit of this book I am happy for you to check this out for yourself and not just take my word for it if you harbour any doubts. This has meant that many areas to which I had originally planned to draw attention have had to be omitted. Nevertheless I think there is sufficient remaining for me to have made my point fairly clearly!

A further requirement is that all text must be unaltered, down to punctuation and capitalisation. As a result of this I have erred on the side of caution and kept the spellings from the direct biblical quotations in their US English format rather than revising them into their UK equivalent as used in the remainder of the book. Any questionable punctuation contained within these quotations – as far as 21st Century students are concerned at least – is down to this policy. Any found in the remainder of the text are down to me.

In addition I have included the obligatory copyright notice on the copyright page of this book and also again here in line with requirements:

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

I have also used the prescribed annotation (NRSV) after each citation. Finally, where the quotation runs to more than one verse, I have retained a note of the verse number in the appropriate place within the text.

A similar acknowledgement of gratitude should be made regarding quran.com, which is an extremely useful site for anyone wishing to read the text of The Qur’an in several different versions.

Finally, I would like to thank my family and friends for their support over the years and a special thank you to all those who buy this book and read it with an open and enquiring mind – this is dedicated to you.

Introduction

As much as ever, religion today is a divisive subject which causes not only healthy rational debate but also fear, hatred, persecution and murder.

Despite this depressing situation there are times when religion can make me laugh out loud. The absurdity of it all I often find truly comic; some of the arguments used in its defence by its adherents even more so. Yet, due to its effect on societies around the globe, it also frustrates, saddens and scares me. It is a horribly depressing notion that not only do so many people in today’s otherwise enlightened world still cling to ancient superstitions so desperately, but a small, yet significant enough to cause real harm, number of them carry these superstitions to quite lethal conclusions.

For thousands of years people have died as a result of religion. Whether it be through persecution on a local or state level, by acts of individual terror, or by full-scale war, there has never been a time since organised religion began that it has been entirely free from the stench of death.

In the 21st Century, with its devastating weaponry, and the potential for easy mobilisation of people around the globe through modern methods of communication, the dangers posed by religious hatred are more deadly than ever.

And yet, despite the amount of people who have been happy to kill or die through the centuries in the name of their particular God, it is all based on questionable human interpretations of various ancient texts which should have long ago been accepted for the exaggerated and fictional tales of a superstitious people that they so clearly are.

The world is in a delicate phase, with further deaths and oppression on a massive scale hanging over us all. It is my belief that the only chance the human race has of saving itself from catastrophe is in accepting that there is no fantasy-being in the sky watching us all day. The idea of gods was entirely man-made, necessary – in the minds of those unenlightened people who came up with the concept – in order to explain those things which ancient humankind could not understand. Why are there droughts and floods? Why do people die? Why are fishermen sometimes lost in storms at sea when other times it is calm? Why is it dark at night and light during the day? Why is it hotter at some times of the year than others? Ancient man knew enough to know that it wasn’t they who were causing these events. They therefore chalked them up to some other powerful being, or beings, whom they could not see. This was perfectly understandable thousands of years ago, but surely not in the modern day when we have so much more knowledge and wisdom?

Sadly, however, it is very much still the case. We can only hope, for the sake of our descendants, that we move beyond it sooner rather than later and reach a point where we live to make the most of our brief period of existence – our miniscule flash of time as entities in the grander scale of the universe. If we recognise that we are not destined to be heading to some place called heaven once we expire then maybe we will be less cavalier about risking our lives fighting wars. Maybe we would treat others as equals and not as somehow inferior due to their different beliefs. It seems to me to be our best, perhaps only, hope.

This book looks at the underlying reasons as to why people believe what they believe and seeks to confirm that, quite simply, there has never been any evidence that should lead a rational person to believe in a deity, any form of afterlife, or the truth and accuracy of holy books.

Much of what follows is a serious examination of the problems with religion as I see them and the flaws in the arguments used in support of it. I am by nature, however, a light-hearted person and so there are many instances in which my sense of the absurd is tempted too much by the plethora of bizarre contradictions and crazy statements to be found within the religious world and hopefully those instances will raise a similar level of amusement in the reader. This book is intended to make you think: "That’s a good point" and also laugh from time to time. Hopefully simultaneously in many cases.

These pages are not intended to be the definitive word on the subject. There are many with far more insightful minds than mine who have written thorough and penetrative works on the many arguments in favour of an atheist view of the world. My aim has been to mix together a little bit of logical analysis, some (so they seem to me) fairly obvious problems and contradictions with the idea of believing in a supernatural entity and hopefully a large helping of the humorous elements which so often amuse me.

There is also an examination of much of The Bible which will hopefully cause people to look again at some of the accepted wisdoms that are used to suggest that this text is somehow founded in reality.

As someone who was brought up with a Christian background it is Christianity and The Bible on which I have concentrated most of my analysis for the purposes of this book. The Qur’an is also featured, albeit in less depth as it is a work with which I am less familiar and which does not have the same storytelling format of The Bible.

It is not my intention to cause offence to any individual. My wish is simply to provoke people into thinking again about what they may have been taught and to approach with an open mind arguments that differ from those with which they have been brought up. If, having read what follows, you are not minded to change your opinions or beliefs at all then that is your prerogative.

I am but one individual. I do not claim that by reading this book you will somehow save your soul. The main reason for this is simple – you don’t have one. Still, if this book can open the eyes and mind of just one person and move them down the road of rational common-sense and away from the potential oblivion offered by steadfastly clinging to religious doctrine then I will feel it has served its purpose.

Chapter One

Why do people believe?

Parental and Societal influence

Before it is possible for a religious individual to calmly and rationally analyse their own belief system and question their complete conviction that their faith is correct it is first essential that they understand that, with a very small number of exceptions, their religious beliefs are determined by an accident of birth. It is an inescapable fact that the overwhelming majority of religious people follow the faith of their parents, who followed their parents and so on.

Quite simply, you may be a committed Christian from the ‘Bible-belt’ in the American Deep South, but you need to accept that, had you been born to Pakistani parents in Karachi, you would have been an equally devout and committed Muslim. Similarly, regarding those fanatical Muslim fundamentalists of the Taliban; if they had been born in Tel Aviv with Israeli parents they would be completely devoted to their Jewish faith. You may believe that you have chosen the correct path in terms of your current religious convictions, but the fact is that it was pretty much decided for you at birth. Your God, your religious festivals, your individual and group prayers and acts of worship would perhaps be no less dedicated and heartfelt, but would certainly be completely different in much of what they stood for than they are today had you simply been born in another part of the world to different parents.

Most adherents of the major religions would openly pour scorn onto some of the more unconventional customs and beliefs as practised in tribal parts of Africa. Belief in witches, voodoo and magic still exist and other variations on a theme, such as the Bushongo people of The Congo’s belief that the Earth was vomited into being by the God Bumba, may seem faintly ridiculous, but again, had any currently devout Catholic, Hassidic Jew, or Sunni Muslim been born into the Bushongo tribe instead then they would also believe that tale of how the Earth came to be with as great a passion as that with which they currently attend their place of worship on a regular basis.

It can be seen with the Church of the Latter Day Saints (LDS), commonly referred to as Mormons, that some outwardly intelligent people in a modern society can follow what, to most of the outside world, seem rather odd beliefs. Mormonism was founded by Joseph Smith Jr. in 19th Century America. Smith claimed to have been told by an angel where to find golden plates upon which were engraved hieroglyphics which he then translated into the Book of Mormon. Sadly these golden plates are no longer available to view as Smith stated that they had been returned to the angel who immediately took them away. Smith’s translation suggested that the Americas had once been populated by Israelites who worshipped Christ. How or why the Israelites travelled to the New World and why and when they left is not clear. That this all seems a bit far-fetched and unrealistic seems obvious to most people and yet there are millions of adherents, mainly in those areas of America in which the early LDS believers made their home. Again we can see the effect of parental and local church influence on impressionable children in the way that many have remained loyal to a faith based upon such spurious beginnings.

Of course it goes further than just where you were born and to whom. There is also the factor of ‘when’ to take into account. Again it is necessary for a believer to accept that, had they been born in Rome at the height of Empire, they would be offering prayers and the occasional sacrifice to Jupiter, Mars, Mercury and Venus. Similarly they would have been worshipping Anubis and Ra had they lived in Ancient Egypt. Were they to have been transported to Scandinavia to be raised in Viking times they would have been utterly beholden to Thor and Odin.

It is not possible to overstress this point. A failure to understand and accept that most individuals’ beliefs are not down to enlightenment, but rather to the culture, parental guidance and education that was available to them (and indeed often forced upon them) in their formative years, will leave a believer in a position where any argument they wish to put forward concerning the veracity of their belief system is fundamentally flawed coming, as it does, from a wholly unrealistic perspective. To any who dispute this I would ask you to consider what the likelihood is of your own child approaching you one day and stating that he or she wishes to convert to another religion and what your reaction would be if they did? With the education they have received from you, their school and their place of worship how could they possibly believe something else?

Unless children are taught fully the details, beliefs, customs and arguments for and against all major religions equally, together with a similarly thorough look at the opinions of atheists, then it is not possible for them to make any kind of informed decision and therefore the vast majority will conform to the thinking ingrained in them since birth.

As infants and children we are all susceptible to the influence of others; in particular that of those to whom we look for guidance in our formative years: our parents and grandparents, our teachers and other adults that our parents may have told us to trust, such as doctors, policemen and church leaders. It is through our acceptance of what we are told by those in whom we place our trust that the vast majority of children in the Christian world believe in Santa Claus. If our parents, grandparents and teachers all tell us he is real then surely he must be mustn’t he? The idea of a fat man in red clothing who lives in a frozen wasteland with elves for the whole year before travelling across the entire globe on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer to deliver presents to everybody on the same evening doesn’t seem unbelievable and ridiculous to children despite its obvious impossibility. Why is this? Well, clearly because the adults say it happens. It is no more complex than that. We are programmed to believe,