The Sizzlewitz List

By Ged Maybury

Bio-Police Cadets Jool and Ditt have one last chance to get something right, but when Vazzeck finds a mystery shopping list and Baan charges off to investigate, it seems their last chance is blown. A gang of nasty Edderboks are up to evil and the cadets are soon in trouble. A desperate call to Supervisor Hoofer fails to raise the alarm after Vazzeck is captured, so Baan, working alone, has to risk everything for the girl who … Well: she seems to hate him!

This really is a job for the B-Pol, but in the end it seems that notorious Galactic Criminal Queen 'Murkirio' holds all the aces, and Hoofer still doesn't care.

Can two slightly extraordinary kids do anything to stop this evil?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ged Maybury
• Release date: Jul 13, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393623953

Ged Maybury

Ged Maybury is an Australasian author of children's and YA novelist, with 14 books conventionally published (not counting this series) and a lot more in the pipeline. Finalist - NZ Children's Book Awards 1994: “The Triggerstone” Finalist - NZ Children's Book Awards 2001: “Crab Apples” He began 1994 in his favourite genre: Science Fiction, later adding comedy and slice-of-life, and finally returned to his sci-fi roots with Steampunk. This series is aimed at young adults and anyone else who likes an engaging adventure, but as far as any full-on “adult” content goes: well that's just not his thing. (Okay – there's a bit of it.) He was born in Christchurch, New Zealand, and grew up in Dunedin; dux of his school; blah-blah-blah … Went into architecture, ended up in the performing arts and has been writing plays, poetry and books ever since. He also has earned some notoriety as a Cosplayer and Costumer, Steampunk Sculptor, Performance Poet and Story-teller. Occasionally he writes plays and films. Even more occasionally they get produced. WORLD-FIRST: Maybury lays claim to the world's first custom-written theme-song to a book. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRQ29QkfKNE He currently lives in Brisbane, Australia. He has a blog and a Wikipedia entry, and is on Facebook.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

The Mysterious List

B-POL CADET VAZZECK Jool strolled through the famous Markets of Sizzlewitz, idly filling in time before her ship departed on its long journey to the Galactic Rim.  She was off to another boring training camp, this time on the Planet of the Grapes. 

Suddenly her wrist-computer beeped.

Cadet Jool, where are you?  It was the voice of her boss, Hoofer.  Although the voice sounded so close and familiar, Vazzeck knew that Hoofer was probably in her office on Haminegx Five, 987 light years away. 

I’m in the Markets, but don’t worry.  I’ll be on that ship in two hours.

You’d better be!  If you miss one more lift-off I’m going to have to reconsider whether you’re really up to being an agent in the Pan-Galactic Bio-Police.

I’ve only ever missed one lift-off, and it wasn’t even my fault!

Now don’t go blaming Cadet Ditt again.  I want you both on that ship, early!

Yes, Captain Hoofer.

Vazzeck shut off her wrist computer with a sigh.  Drat that idiot Ditt.  I wish I’d never met him.  Then she quickly looked around, hoping he hadn’t heard. 

He wasn’t even in sight. 

Huh, she said to herself, so much for sticking together!

Vazzeck stopped and turned back.  "He’s probably looking at pumps or something.  What is it with boys and machines anyway?  We’re supposed to be learning how to save endangered species, not pumps!" 

She strolled on, just glad to be alone for a while.  Then something on the ground caught her eye; a mysterious crumpled object.  She bent and picked it up. 

Paper!  Haven’t seen that since I visited Earth.

Smoothing it out, she began deciphering the peculiar handwriting.

250 cakes Of Best Transparent Soap

20 extra large nail files.

10 brooms (natural bristle) ...

Huh, just someone’s old shopping list.  She made to toss it away when something in her brain sounded a quiet alarm.  There was something odd about this list, but she couldn't quite put her mental finger on it.  Giving up on Cadet Ditt for a moment, she stopped at a cafe, bought a sweet-podatta protein-shake and settled at a nearby table.

She smoothed out the note paper and began studying it with greater care. 

250 cakes of Best Transparent Soap

20 extremely large nail files.

10 brooms (natural bristle)

800 litres of massage oil

Two 60,000 litre swimming pools

400 large towels

One tonne of roasted peanuts

6000 fresh cabbages

Ten shovels and 200 sacks

40 rental workers (not robots)  [dispose of later]

Tranquiliser dart gun set (just in case)

Odd, she murmured aloud. very odd.

Then a voice answered from just over her shoulder, Yeah, and why would someone need a tranquiliser gun around here?

Vazzeck spun around, trying to hide the note.  It was Cadet Baan Ditt. Hey, she said to him crossly, don’t be so nosy!

"And why two swimming pools," he continued, seemingly immune to her annoyance, taking the other chair at her table and reaching for the drink she hadn’t even started on.

Do you mind! she snatched it off him, spilling some of it onto the note.  Oh drat you, Ditt! she snapped, flicking away the thick wet blobs.

Baan’s the name, he said as if he’d done nothing wrong, still trying to peer at the note in her hand, and sleuthing’s my game.

Oh, please, we’re training to be Bio-Police Agents, not private detectives!  You read far too many of those dumb old books.  Now go away.

No, we’ve got to stick together, remember?

"Oh, I’m not going to forget.  Not like you did last time!"

"I didn’t forget.  We just got the wrong space port."

‘We’?  What’s with the ‘we’?

Baan waved away her protest, Hey, anyone can get ‘fourteen’ mixed up with ‘forty’.  Besides: we’ve got to stick together.  Hoofer’s orders.

Vazzeck scowled into her cup, Yeah, and so what does she do?  Asks us to stick together!  Great!

Hey gizza another look at that note, will you?  Go on.

What’s it to you?

There’s something funny about it.  It’s not just a shopping list.

Yes it is.  She screwed it up and tossed it away over her shoulder, but only because he was so interested in it.

With his lightning fast reflexes he caught it before it went very far, bumping her painfully in the process and causing her to spill even more of her shake.

Ow! she growled, Will you please be more careful!

He didn’t even say sorry.  Just flattened the note on the table top and began muttering, Soap; swimming pools; towels... someone’s planning a really big bath.

"Yeah, some big galloot like