Living With Schizoaffective Disorder A Short Story

By Horace James Smith

Based on the part of my life that created me, I have created this fictional short story about a character named Humphrey. It is a brief synopsis about sexual abuse within the institution of the church and the process of coming out of what held my mind captive through shame and guilt. Also, I briefly share a lack of intimacy with my mother because of the abuse. It is through the secular mental health recovery that I learnt to love myself and not develop my sexuality within the gay community. I withdrew into a world full of fantasies that evolved into the acute psychosis that I have been treated for by the medical profession. It is also about growing up feeling rejection because of sexual abuse by gay men and coming out of child abuse in a safe environment.

“I desired the security of my mother’s love and nurturing after that terrible night but could not bring myself to share with her what happened at Henry’ apartment.

I was too afraid to tell her.

More so, the lack of understanding that we were poor and my mother had to work to sustain us did not register in my restless mind.

Not knowing that I was experiencing abandonment issues, I blamed myself for the lack of intimacy with my mother.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Horace James Smith
• Release date: Jun 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9780463389348

Horace James Smith

Because of the mental illness that I was diagnosed with as a child, my normal vision was created in darkness. I do have a abnormal way of seeing life. It is sometimes called a prophetic vision. However, it is not a prophetic voice. I am not a prophet as such. I am not a prophet for the Christian Church or for the secular religions.I have no following. I am not a demigod with some sort of supernatural knowledge. I am just a male who have been diagnosed with a life changing illness that see through that illness to create.