I Just Thought I Had Found Something Real: All The Wrong Reasons Episode Eight: All The Wrong Reasons, #9

By KK Hendin

The season of Fated continues the same way it always has. 

Group dates at odd hours. Dramatic shoe ceremonies. Awkward double dates. They've practically got it down to a science by now.

Regardless of what has happened, or who shows up to investigate, or how many people think filming should be cancelled.

Pay no attention to the chaos and heartbreak behind the scenes, it's not important.  

Really.

Trust us.

***

Fated. 

An award-winning reality dating show, or, as the network likes to call it, The Real Last Chance For A Fairy Tale Ending. 

You know how this works.

One Prince Charming is picked. He's inevitably handsome, shredded, has a vague enough sounding job to be legitimate, and the ability to lie really well to the cameras. He's looking for his One True Love, and obviously, the best way of finding that person (who always happens to be a white woman, between five foot three and five foot ten, wearing approximately a size zero to four, and preferably blonde) is to have a team of producers round up seventeen women who are all more or less interchangeable, move them into a castle, ply them with alcohol, turn cameras on, and broadcast it all on national television. 

Add in a plethora of the most ridiculous dates the producers can possibly think of, too many feelings, real and fake, and an emotional proposal at the end, and you have the highest-rated reality show in history.

Everyone is willing to play the game. Some walk in more willing than others, but in the end, they all believe in it. The show, the fairy tale, the happily ever after. Regardless of what's happened to previous 'winners' of the show.

It's not like anyone's ever been there for the right reasons. But never have the wrong reasons been so wrong.

• Language: English
• Publisher: KK Hendin
• Release date: Jun 26, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393940166

Book preview

Chapter One

Donovan Lassar Is Dead at 58

Wilson Burns, CNN

Donovan Lassar, Hollywood producer and creator of Fated, has been reported dead. Lassar was found on the grounds of an undisclosed location in Europe, where he was shooting the next season of Fated. The cause of death at this time is unknown. According to his representative, Donovan was not suffering from any medical issues at the time of his death...

The next morning dawned, and Nadine was not ready at all for the world’s most awkward date.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so awkward, that teeny tiny little delusional part of her mind thought.

Yeah, right.

Her, Rita, and CR on a forced romantic date? There was no way that was going to be anything other than an unmitigated disaster of epic and awkward proportions.

Look what happened last time they tried to have a double date—they found a dead body.

If that wasn’t a sign from the universe that maybe this date thing was something they should just skip, she wasn’t sure what was.

But here she was. Standing in her room, alone, getting ready for her least favorite version of hell. The they’re right there, but there’s nothing you can do about it kind of outing.

Rita, true to their word, had slept in Lauren’s room the night before.

They could do whatever they wanted to do, Nadine thought. It wasn’t like she had some claim over Rita.

Intellectually, she knew that. Honestly, she was kind of upset at herself for the completely unreasonable thoughts that had been marching their way through her mind all night and all morning.

Just friends, Nadine told herself, checking her reflection in the mirror. Rita was just her friend. Platonic. Friend.

And now both of them were going on some sort of sham date with CR.

Who, for all Nadine knew, Rita was interested in. Which would mean Nadine was possibly getting dressed up to officially become the third wheel of the day.

She took a deep, steadying breath.

If you really like someone, she told her reflection, you would want them to be happy. Even if their idea of happiness does not match yours. Even if their happiness means they end up with someone who isn’t you.

She sighed. Look at that, she muttered, lacing up her boots. Growth. You didn’t even need to pay a copay for it. She started giggling. Just had to stumble over a dead body.

The co-pay sounded like a far better way of coming to the same conclusion.

There was something going on with Rita and Nadine, CR thought. They were both trying to hide it, and for the most part, they were doing a great job of it.

At least, to people who didn’t know them.

But CR knew Rita well. Very well.

And there was definitely something going on with them.

You know, you can at least pretend to be excited to go on this date with Prince Charming, Amanda said as they walked across the drawbridge.

Rita stopped and stared at Amanda. You do remember that I was standing right here when I noticed Donovan’s body, right?

You don’t have to bring that up, Amanda said. It’s very tragic.

I know, Rita said slowly. I was there.

Nadine stifled a laugh by coughing. So, she said, trying to change the subject to something that wouldn’t end with Rita finally losing any semblance of patience and shoving Amanda off the drawbridge. No matter how satisfying that would be.

She was a petty, petty bitch, and she didn’t care.

So? CR asked.

Where are we going? Nadine asked. A nature walk? Paragliding? Chopping down a few trees and building ourselves a new civilization? Going to hide in a mysterious cave somewhere, light a bunch of candles, and discuss our political ideologies and our current finances to see if we’re even remotely compatible?

Rita laughed. Political ideologies and current finances aren’t romantic. The cave part, possibly romantic. Or possibly horrifying.

True. But do you know what is romantic? Nadine asked. A thorough investigation into each other’s emotional grids, along with a dabbling into educational backgrounds! Possibly a look at each other’s voter records, medical histories, and if there’s time, and to make Amanda happy—

Amanda was not happy.

—we could talk about our astrological compatibility.

No personality tests first? CR teased. I suddenly have a desperate need to find out where both of you fall on the Myers Briggs scale.

Oh, we can also talk about our preferred love languages, Rita offered. More to CR than to Nadine.

You could go back to astrological compatibility, Bethany offered. That was the only thing in that string of nonsense that wasn’t an absolutely terrible idea.

You can talk about your sexual compatibility based on your astrological signs, Amanda said.

Nadine stopped. Wait. That’s a thing?

Oh, definitely, Amanda chirped. I have the book back in the castle. We can cross-reference all of you later with CR and see who astrologically makes the most sense for him!

I can honestly say that sexual compatibility based on astrology has never been a way I use to decide who to date, CR said.

Well, now it can be! Rita said, grinning. Always good to have the full picture of someone you’re dating.

It is, Amanda agreed.

"Then we definitely should also talk about emotional trauma from childhood, finances, and political views, Nadine pointed out. Full picture and all."

Alternatively, you can go do some farming, Jennifer said, having met them by the edge of the barn. Fucking weather, ruining all sorts of much better ideas when it comes to double dates. She turned to CR. This time, you’re only going to bring one of them back to the castle after the date is done.

We’re right here, Rita pointed out. We can hear you, you know.

Jennifer ignored her. It’s a shame we weren’t able to go on the real date for today—leaving someone behind there would have been a lot more dramatic. She sighed. Oh, well. We’ll fix it in post.

The worst possible sentence that could be said by anyone who worked on Fated.

CR tried not to think too hard about what was going to happen in post and concentrated on trying to figure out what was going on with Nadine and Rita.

Prince Charming, if you can inform the girls where you’re going on the double date today, Jennifer said.

Sure. CR turned to Nadine and Rita, who were studiously avoiding each other. "Instead of discussing emotional trauma today, or doing