The Adventures Of Archie And Jan

By Mario V. Farina

This story presents several years in the life of Archie and Jan Wilcox from engagement days to the years when they were married. There are many adventures they had, some humorous, some sad. The experiences of this couple even extend to an aborted voyage to Mars! You'll like them when you are first introduced to them; you'll love them with the adventure at the end!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mario V. Farina
• Release date: Jun 22, 2019
• ISBN: 9781370095582

Mario V. Farina

Mario V Farina has worked all his life, from age 18 to 90. He worked for the American Locomotive Company, served in the U. S. Army during WWII, was employed at General Electric. He taught computers at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. After leaving his position with RPI, he became employed with the State Labor Department of New York. He’s a car buff, a pun creator, and a computer enthusiast. He wrote textbooks for the programming languages COBOL and FORTRAN and wrote a book of puns and short stories called, “A Little Light Reading,” as well as over 20 other books. Several of his books were translated into other languages. This is his first foray into the world of digital publishing, with the help of his computer tutor ([e-mail]).

Book preview

The Adventures

of

Archie and Jan

By

Mario V. Farina

Copyright 2019 Mario V. Farina, Smashwords Edition, License Notes. All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

Correspondence may be directed to:

Mario V. Farina, email: [e-mail]

The author of the stories which follow has over 200 other stories published in Smashwords.com. He welcomes you to search for them, view them, and, if desired, download. Most of the stories are free.

Table of Contents

1. First Date On A Windy Day 1

2. An Ideal Date 10

3. An Unexpected Visitor 12

4. I Don't Want Her, I Want You 17

5. Why Did She Say That? 21

6. Thou Art A Witch! 27

7. What Would Annoy Me About You If We Wed? 31

8. If You Were The Only Girl In The World 35

9. Jan and Archie Are Married 38

10. What Do We Do Now? 40

11. Love Letters 45

12. Remembering The Anniversary 49

13. Be My Wife For A Day 52

14. I Don't Want To Be Married Anymore 58

15. No Valentines This Year! 66

16. Terrible, But I Loved It! 70

17. The Mysterious Cup 74

18. A Tinkling Piano In The Next Apartment 80

19. Let's Try Again! 85

20. Devotion 87

21. I Don't Think I Should Do That 93

22. The Marriage Counselor 102

23. Mysterious Woman 107

24. Jan Confounds A Burglar 114

25. The Shared Gift 119

26. Two Sleepy People 123

27. Thou Wouldst Still Be Adored 129

28. A Rolls With ESP 135

29. Voyage To Mars 139

30. Some Philosophic Thoughts on a Bus Headed for Dallas 143

1. First Date On A Windy Day

Time of Current Episode: May 1, 2019

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 28

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 23

Mark Baldwin, Auto Salesman

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie Wilcox meets Jan Robinson and is smitten by her. Seeks to date her.

Archie Wilcox studied his image in the mirror as he adjusted his hairpiece. He was only twenty-eight but had begun losing his hair five years earlier. There was plenty of hair along the sides and back but very little on top. The piece had restored dark brown hair to his head and almost ten years of youth to his appearance.

And now, he was in love. He had met Jan Robinson at Ridgewood College, where he worked, and had been smitten as never before. She was a new secretary in the Humanities Department. She was about twenty-three and looked forward to a successful career at Ridgewood.

As Assistant Professor of English, Archie had occasions to see and speak to Jan several times during the week.

Ms. Robinson, I need this outline typed before the staff meeting this afternoon. Would you see if you can fit it into your busy schedule? Jan had always complied with Archie's requests.

One time, however, she turned her blue eyes toward him in a way that he found most disconcerting. I'll try, Professor Wilcox. Isn't this the same outline that you gave me yesterday – and the day before?

Well, as a matter of fact, he said, it is, but you'll note that I've made some changes. I know it's an imposition, but would you mind…?

No problem at all, Professor. I'm sure I can get it done.

Archie had walked back to his office. He wasn't making much progress in getting to know Jan better. A more direct approach was needed.

He knew where Jan went for lunch. He thought that an accidental meeting at the Busy Bee Cafeteria would help break the ice. At lunchtime the following day, Archie caught a glimpse of Jan's trim figure as she put the cover on her typewriter and strode out the door. It was a beautiful sunny day in early May. Archie decided that lunch at the Busy Bee today would be a good idea.

Oh, hello Jan, Archie ventured, as he carried his tray to the table where she was sitting. Do you mind if I sit with you?

Oh, no, Professor. I'd be glad to have your company.

Archie gazed at Jan's attractive face and his stomach began tumbling like a clothes dryer. He hoped that his emotions wouldn't betray him. People had frequently told him he wore his heart on his sleeve – whatever that meant.

They chatted as they dined. During the conversation, Archie discovered that Jan was twenty-three and a recent graduate of Smith Business College. She was trained in secretarial work, but hoped that some day she might go back to school to become a Sales Specialist. He also discovered two facts that were of great interest to him. Jan was not married and had no boyfriend. Also exciting was the fact that she was interested in sports cars.

What a coincidence, exclaimed Archie. I've been a sports car fan since I was a kid. As a matter of fact, I was planning on picking one up this weekend. Maybe you'd like to take a ride with me after I do this.

The truth wasn't quite that. Archie was a sports car fan, true, and had been for many years, but he had trouble fitting his tall, lanky frame into one. Though he had admired them from afar, he had never actually planned to purchase one. Living in an apartment very close to the college, he didn't feel the need for a car. But, here was his chance to form a closer relationship with the girl of his dreams. He needed to own a sports car now.

Archie couldn't afford a new car, so he decided to visit Mark's Used Cars on Saturday. There, he spotted a vintage Ford convertible that glistened in black. He walked closer to get a good look. Mark Baldwin, a heavy-set, middle-aged man with dark hair and mustache to match, exited from the sales office on the lot and approached the young man. I see you're looking at this beautiful roadster, he declared.

Archie felt this was the car for him, but he wasn't going to make it easy for the salesman. Oh, I don't know, he muttered. Looks a little dated to me, real old. What are you askin'?

Twelve hundred, Mark responded. Maybe it's a little much for an old car but people have begun noticing cars like this. This car may be worth something in a few years. But if you're serious, you can probably buy the car for less! I gotta make a sale today or fall behind for the month. I can knock off two hundred but that's only for today!"

How does she run?

Like a charm! Here, take the keys. Take a spin around the block. See if you can keep the girls away!

Archie accepted the offer and struggled to get into the car. It was a tight squeeze. He started the engine, but didn't bother with a test ride. What are your finance terms, and how soon can I take possession? he asked.

If you check out you can pick 'er up this afternoon. I'll finance the car for you personally. You'll have to rest of the year to pay.

Done! For the first time in his life, Archie was on the way to becoming the owner of a sports car. Well, it wasn't a Jaguar or an Austin Healey, but it was a convertible, and that qualified as being a sports car, he reasoned.

The afternoon was sunny and warm, but a little windy. Archie walked to Mark's lot from his apartment and rushed through the mandatory paper-signing formalities. The top was still down. He opened the door and, somehow, squeezed himself into the driver seat. There was barely adequate legroom inside. The trick was getting in!

Archie put the car into first gear and drove off the lot. Shifting into second and third, he turned down right on to Washington Boulevard. He planned on revving up the Ford to see how it accelerated. He mashed down on the foot pedal and the car leapt forward. Exhilarated, he watched as the speedometer hit twenty, then thirty miles per hour. Everything was going fine so far.

Suddenly, Archie's hairpiece gave an early warning that it was about to become dislodged. Frantically grasping at it, Archie caught the hank of hair just as it was about to sail from his head. He kept his hand on it while he made a hasty stop at the side of the road. Then he spent several minutes evaluating the situation.

Archie had purchased his first hairpiece a long time ago. Over the years he had replaced them as they wore out or became outmoded. No one guessed that he wore artificial hair. The store-bought product had never given him a problem, that is, until today.

Maybe more tape is what I need, Archie thought. The tape he used came in strips that were sticky on both sides. Several strips on the inside surface of the hairpiece allowed the hair to stick securely to his head. His hairpieces had never restricted him in anything he wanted to do. He had even swum with them. Today, the turbulence of the air surging through the car was more than the tapes could handle.

Archie drove home slowly and went into the bathroom. He removed his hairpiece and examined its inner surface. There simply wasn't room for more tape. Archie had to find another way to keep his hair on. It simply wouldn't do to have the hairpiece fly off his head on his first date with Jan.

Piloting the sports car to the nearby Grebbs Department Store, Archie purchased a black-and-red plaid sports cap. He placed it on his head over the hairpiece and turned his vehicle onto the nearest wide street. At twenty, then thirty miles per hour, there's was no difficulty, but when the car hit thirty-five, his cap flew off and the hairpiece kept it company. This time, there had been no warning.

Screeching to a halt, Archie exited from the car, and walked to where the two items were lying side-by-side not more than a few feet apart. Several children, who had been playing nearby, stared at him with a mixture of amazement and amusement. Archie ignored them as he picked up both items and walked back to his car. Folding himself into the seat, he put the hairpiece and cap into the car's tiny glove box and drove off bare-headed.

He went back to the department store and parked. He retrieved the hairpiece from the glove box. Ducking as low as he could in the car's cockpit, he positioned the hair on his head and tamped it down. Then he straightened up and adjusted it using the car's small,