Lennon's Rain: Lennon's Girls Trilogy, #2

By Chris Myers

Eight years ago, Lennon lost his heart to Rain, and suddenly she's back, all grown up and sexy as hell. At a sorority party, he convinces himself that outbidding every other guy for a body shot from Rain is for charity. But he knows better. He doesn't want any guy, except him, tarnishing the memory of the little girl he proposed to in fifth grade. 

Jinx loves Lennon and is past ready for him to make his move. With his sexual prowess, she worries why he hasn't made any advances. She fears she is losing him, and the only way to keep him is to overcome her past and give him what he desires.

Rain knows Lennon is trouble. If she couldn't say no to the gangly boy asking her to skateboard off some roof, how will she refuse Lennon's seductive powers now that he is a man? Rain has many reasons to resist his charm. He has a girlfriend, he's moving to LA with her, and Rain has no intention to march in the long parade of Lennon Tyler conquests.

Now, Lennon must choose. Someone has to lose, and that person could be him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chris Myers
• Release date: May 19, 2019
• ISBN: 9780985716943

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

LENNON

The sorority invited me to their party because it’s a charitable event and they want my money. I’m going because shirts are optional.

Susan grips Danny Boy’s jacket as we stumble across the quad to her sorority house. The stiff Chicago breeze whips her long, coffee-colored hair over her face. It’s a shock she’ll be partaking in this risqué event, and even more so that she’s taking us. Technically, my band mate Clive and I are still in high school, though we only have a couple days left. Whereas Danny and Susan attend the university.

Clive hands me the flask of Oban Single Malt Scotch then slugs my shoulder. Two o’clock, he says, nodding at a curvy brunette chattering to a leggy redhead. Oh those lovelies are going to look brilliant in the buff.

My head swivels in their direction. The girls don’t have to take their shirts or bras off, I slur, though I look forward to the ones that do. I begged my girlfriend Jinx to go, but she wanted the night out with her friends instead of being with me. I told her she could remain fully clothed, but I wouldn’t complain if she changed her mind. In fact, I wholeheartedly encouraged it, but she stiffed me for her girlfriends.

A flash of corn silk hair darts past me. Long legs covered in designer skinny, black jeans dash up the sorority house steps, two at a time. The girl trips on the untied shoelaces of her colorful, sequined sneakers but then bounces back up, not missing a beat. At the top of the steps, she throttles a black guy’s arm. He’s as buff as Lil Wayne, minus most of the tats. They laugh and share some inside joke.

A sudden ache sets flame inside my chest at the all too familiar gestures and the girl’s casual attire. She reminds me of her. A black fedora sits askew on the blonde mane, and her red blazer’s sleeves are rolled and bunched at the elbows.

This girl can’t be Rain, not after eight years of me missing her. The last time I saw her was when her parents drove her away. I’ve only cried twice, that I can recall, and the second time was the day she left.

Turn around, dammit. Show your face, but she rushes inside through the doors and disappears.

Lately, I’ve been hallucinating, seeing girls who remind me of Rain everywhere in Chicago, probably because I’ve gone from the oasis of easy groupies to the Sahara with Jinx. With her past history, she needs to make the first move. With the way she dresses, it’s driving me insane. She could at least throw me a bone to gnaw on, but she hasn’t. I haven’t even gotten to second base, which until now, I’d stopped counting in middle school.

I run up the stairs, chasing after the blonde girl. I’m sure Rain howls at the moon now. She isn’t as perfect as my memory tells me, but that doesn’t stop me from hurrying my band mates to see this blonde’s unveiling.

I shuck my shirt at the door, and to my surprise, Susan does too without the slightest hesitation. She’s a beautiful girl and sports a frilly black bra that complements her olive skin and nice firm ones. Danny Boy and Clive take off their shirts as well. It’s a topless party—my kind of fun.

Jinx should be here to keep me out of trouble.

The blonde is just ahead of us. Jacket off, loose tee hiding what lies beneath. She turns toward the black guy. My heart drops to my knees, and my breath claws its way out of my throat. It wouldn’t be Rain baying at the moon. It would be me. She’s just as adorable as I remember her in fifth grade.

She sports a small silver ring on the right side of her nose—not sure how I feel about that. I told my little sister Currie she could never have one. Rain’s shimmering tee is knotted to the side and displays the New York City Ground Zero site. That’s so her.

I imagine her naked now as opposed to our fifth grade innocence when curiosity got the best of us. Neither of us had much to show, though at the time, I floated on a cloud seeing her slender hips, developing breast buds, alongside that incredible life-of-the-party-girl grin. She still has it.

As she argues with her friend, her cheeks blossom to carnation pink. I try to shove through the knot of people at the door to kick this guy’s ass for forcing her to undress, but I can’t get through.

A ten here, a sorority sister yells while barring my way. She lifts a Jell-O shot into the air before she downs it. Her fingers twirl in the hair just above the buttons of my Levis. The Lennon Tyler in person. You are truly delectable.

All those workouts must be paying off. Thanks, I say, my gaze trained on Rain.

What are you twenty-six?

I laugh. Sure. Pseudo-celebrity miss-guess. Several days’ worth of stubble probably adds on a few extra years, along with the help of the tabloids. Eighteen, two weeks ago. No point telling her that. I don’t want to stop drinking, especially when I’m only half lit and ready for more.

The black guy jostles Rain while she giggles infectiously. Jealousy and rage wind me up like an after-dark Gremlin.

Grinning, she screams over the cacophony of coeds, What the hell? She pulls her tee over her head and tosses the shirt into a pile.

Holy fuck, I mutter.

What? the girl says, blocking my way and some of my view of Rain.

Rain’s tee hid double Ds. Begging to be set free, her Playboys strain against the white lacy Victoria’s Secret she’s wearing. I would love to be the man for that job, but I have a girlfriend. Jinx may be a few fractions prettier than her, but Rain has the curves of a goddess. Body glitter, sprinkled onto her creamy, perfect skin, glistens on her flat, firm abs. A diamond silver ring sparkles on her inny bellybutton. That’s a huge turn on.

Karim, a college basketball player turned pro, lumbers over to them and hugs Rain’s friend and kisses her cheek. Hey little bro.

His girlfriend, a sleek, sexy black girl, throws her arms around his neck. She yells, Hi, to Rain over the noisy room and hands her a shot that Rain slams back. That’s my girl—a bronco-busting, thrill seeker.

Clive comes up behind me, his gaze raking over Rain. Well, speak of Satan’s daughter.

The girl standing in front of me says, Have a shot on me for charity? She places the glass between her firm breasts—fake ones I notice. Rain’s jiggle enough to be real.

Being the good sport, I press my face between the sorority girl’s breasts, grab the shot glass with my teeth, and bottoms up.

There’s more where that came from, she says.

Here’s your twenty, I say.

She winks at me. That one’s on the house. The second will cost you.

That’s okay, I say. The charity you’re sponsoring is dear to my heart. Excuse me. Clive nudges me from behind to notice a few brave, bare-breasted girls. Right now, I can’t be bothered with them. My sights are set on Rain.

As I push my way through the crowd, several girls eye me. One with long mahogany hair asks another with ash blonde, Isn’t that Lennon Tyler?

The blonde licks the rim of her glass and smiles bedroom-style at me. It sure is.

He’s even more on fire in person. I’d let him tie me to the bed.

Three months ago, I would’ve balled one of them and saved the other for later.

By the time I make our way over to where Rain was standing, her friend and she are caught by the crush of people at the bar. The bartender serves them each a shot that they guzzle down.

A sorority girl, with a nice pair, hops onto the bar with the help of a few well-muscled guys. As you know, we’re topless for a charitable event, the Children’s Hospital, and not just to give a free show.

The coeds cheer, slamming shots with beer chasers while blaring music shakes the house.

Susan snuggles up to Danny Boy. I told you this was for a good cause.

He kisses her full lips. Any time you’re naked it’s for a good cause.

I’ll drink to that, Clive says, swigging from his flask.

"Body shots from sorority sisters cost twenty, but we’ll auction off any volunteers, guys too. The black guy nudges Rain. She steps back from the coeds crowding the bar.

I’m going to clock this guy at any moment. He needs to quit talking her into shit. Though years ago, I was the one to suggest getting naked to Rain. That was after I convinced her to rummage through her dad’s Hustler and Club magazines. It was quite the education for both of us.

A pretty brunette steps up to the bar to offer herself for the auction. The guys lift her to stand on top of the bar.

We have this fine sorority sister with bodacious tatas, the auctioneer says, starting for sale at twenty.

Thirty, a guy yells.

Another raises his hand. Fifty.

The bid goes as high as one-fifty. The first victim lies down on the bar for the belly shot. The winner takes a lime and puts it into the girl’s mouth, pours salt around her belly button, then a shot of tequila. He sucks it all up before the liquor runs into her low-rider denim skirt. After he finishes the tequila, he takes the lime from her mouth with his teeth. The crowd whoops and hollers.

I swear the black guy Rain is with stares hard at me, snorts out a laugh, then shoves her out front. How much for this gorgeous, blonde virgin?

She curls her lip at him.

Virgin, huh. I don’t buy that. Virgins don’t come to a party like this unless they’re looking to be deflowered.

Yes, the sorority girl yells, how much to pop this girl’s cherry? I mean give this lady her first body shot.

Most of the guys’ tongues loll at their feet, panting like starved wolves. Sheer panic spreads across her face. Serves her right. She shouldn’t be here, having a good time in front of me.

Rain glares at her friend, pushes him, but doesn’t back down. She boldly steps out and climbs atop the bar. She shakes her hips to the music like Shakira and shimmies. I recall lifting Rain in ballet for the Giselle, the muscles taught on her abdomen, the scent of her intoxicating.

I hang back in the crowd. Every guy eyes her likes she’s crème Brule, and I don’t like it. My fists clench at my sides.

One guy lurking in the shadows, wearing a black hoodie and no shirt underneath, starts the bid at a hundred. Another guy, who barely looks twelve with dark-rimmed glasses and khakis that ride his ankles, snaps photos of the hooded guy when he isn’t looking.

When the bid hits five hundred, I push to the front. The little guy with glasses steps in front of me.

Look kid, I say. This is my girl and my battle.

He slings his arm around a pretty Asian girl, which surprises me. Don’t look at me, Mr. Tyler. Rain Haverty is all yours, though I have a girlfriend and so do you.

Guilt seizes me but only for a moment. I won’t let Rain get away this time.

I hold up several hundred-dollar bills. One grand in cash. Take it or leave it now. I convince myself this is for the Children’s Hospital, especially since the one in Milwaukee saved Currie from dying a few months back. It’s also to get even, and so nobody touches my Rain.

We have a winner. Lennon Tyler, the sorority auctioneer yells.

Rain darts her gaze over to me. Lennon, she mouths, stumbling backward, so the black guy has to catch her. I find it odd that he’s grinning over all this.

The guy in the hoodie growls at me, his eyes dark and moody, pure predator.

Don’t go near her, or I’ll beat the crap out of you, I say as he brushes past me, bumping into me so that my beer spills onto my jeans.

Asshole, I say.

The guy doesn’t even look up but disappears into the crowd.

I pick up my prize. Lightning practically jolts me out of my skin just from touching her, so I almost drop her. Damn her. She still affects me. I’m still mad over what she wouldn’t tell me, her running away, and the promise she couldn’t keep.

I carry her to the bar to lay her down. She is shaking like a girl heading for the cellar steps in a scary movie.

Susan digs her nails into my arm. Lennon. No. She tugs on a belt loop of my jeans.

Clive pulls her back. Don’t interfere. That’s Rain. He’s waited a long time for this.

Anger spikes Susan’s expression. What, to give her a body shot? To hurt Jinx?

Danny stands on his toes to see over my shoulder. The Rain, the little girl he proposed to in fifth grade?

She’s not little, Susan says. She’s taller than me. Susan is five-eight. Lennon shouldn’t be doing this. What about Jinx?

Clive shoulder bumps Susan. We won’t say anything about Rain to Jinx. It’s all in good fun and charity.

Susan smacks my back. You need to stop. What will I tell Jinx?

I spin around and look down at her. That I gave over a grand to your sorority’s charity, I snap. And that I had fun while she was with her friends, probably drinking at Candor where her ex hangs out. The anger rolls through me until I shrug it off.

Susan backs into Danny Boy, shock widening her eyes. My focus returns to Rain.

I stare down at her. She still has the scar that severs one eyebrow, the one she got taking a digger on her skateboard. It’s just above eyes as blue as a desert sky.

I glance at her sneakers. You should learn to tie your shoes, little girl.

Everyone near me laughs.

T-T-They’re always coming undone, she stammers.

I tie them like I did when we were little, like I do sometimes for Currie, even though she’s ten.

My hand glides over the smooth skin of Rain’s stomach. She flinches as pure terror spreads across her face, or is that desire? I can only hope.

My body tingles with excitement. I squeeze lime juice—the pungent smell stinging my nose—between her breasts. Her nipples respond to the sensation by dimpling the Victoria Secrets bra. I’m so turned on I can’t stand it, and I know now what I’m doing is dead wrong. I really like Jinx. But this is my Rain, the little blonde girl who noticed me when nobody else did.

I sprinkle salt onto the lime juice. My tongue goes over the soft flesh of her heaving breasts while my fingers slip the lime wedge into her mouth. I drink in her scent, clean, refreshing, like the fields of flowers we used to run through during summer.

The sorority house goes silent until a guy chants, Take it off. Take it off.

Please don’t remove my bra, she whimpers.

I would never do that to her, but she doesn’t need to know that. I pull down one strap, and she shudders. I kiss her shoulder while she remains perfectly still, frozen to the bar.

My dick bulges in my jeans until it’s rock hard—my desire for her ready to explode. I pour the tequila shot between her breasts and bury my face there. She sucks in a breath, and I swear she moans in ecstasy.

I still hate you, I whisper only to her before I take the lime from her mouth with my teeth, her lips just as soft and sweet as they were when she was ten.

Pain shadows her expression. Instead of telling me, I sound like I haven’t grown up since fifth grade, she says, I’m sorry. Her gaze flicks away from me. She won’t look at me, and that lances my heart.

The roar of the crowd sounds distant compared to her sweet, angelic voice. What is it about Rain that makes me a lunatic? I can’t stand the thought of anyone else possessing her, touching her, lying on top of her. I should’ve been her first, not some other prick. I pick her up, but before I can cart her off, the black guy stops me.

He shoves out his hand. Introduce me to your friend, Rain. I’m Trey, and you are Lennon Tyler.

That’s who I am.

He eyes me up and down. You are much more intimidating in person. And handsome. Six-four, six-five and all man, every hard inch of you. You better put that gun away before every girl and gay male jumps you. He fans himself. So hot.

I wasn’t expecting that. I let her down but clutch onto her bare arm. She’s not getting away from me this time.

I rearrange my dick hardened and ready for action. It throbs for her.

I’ll help you with that, the black guy jokes.

Rain shoves him. Trey, stop it. Her upper teeth tug on her lower lip as she stares mesmerized, her gaze lingering on my abs and below the belt.

Oh sweet Jesus, she mutters.

Clive, good to see you. Trey cups his elbow, and Clive leans into him. You look good half-naked as well.

Thanks, Clive says, laughing. So do you.

Wait, you know him? I ask, this whole conversation sounding a bit off. Are Trey and Rain just friends? Hope so.

Clive shrugs. Yeah, so?

Rain’s chin drops to her chest. I press my hand on the small of her back and guide her to the bar where I order two shots. She downs hers, refusing to look me in the eyes.

We need to talk now, I say.

I tug Rain into an empty room and slam the door shut. I lift her chin to force her to face me. Every second of that day in fifth grade floods my memories. After I humiliated myself in front of her and the entire school, she crushed my heart and stomped on it.

I was your best friend, and you didn’t even say goodbye. The edge in my voice forces goose bumps to march along her arms and onto her breasts. I can’t help but stare at every amazing square inch of her body.

I’m sorry, Lennon, she blurts out, tears rimming her beautiful eyes.

The tanzanite and diamond ring I stole from my mother to propose to the little blonde girl sparkles in front of me on long slender fingers. The ones I showed how to play guitar. Judging by the short-clipped nails on her left hand, she still plays. Her fingertips, calloused from a steel-stringed guitar, scratch my thumb as I caress each one of them.

Where the hell have you been the past eight years? Hurt and anger lace my words.

You have a girlfriend. Her voice trembles.

Why, Rain? Why didn’t you talk to me after that day? Why did you run away? I’m squeezing tight enough that her arm turns red. I’m so desperately afraid of losing her again.

I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Her eyes roll up, and she mutters, Shut-up.

I burst out laughing. Are you talking to me or do you still talk to yourself?

Her brow crinkles. Not for eight years.

So I’m a bad influence on her. What’s the Devil Girl telling you to do? I hope it has something to do with wrestling me to the ground and defiling me.

Nothing, she says defiantly.

And then it hits me like a sledgehammer. How do you know I have a girlfriend?

Ahhhh. She tugs out her cell phone from her front pocket one-handed and rapidly fires text into it. I take it away to see she messaged Trey, Help.

Rain, you don’t have to be afraid of me. How could she find me a threat? I hand her back her phone.

She turns to bolt. I snag her arm, so she can’t flee, like she always does when there’s a confrontation unless she’s defending some underdog, then she’s a lynx.

Rain pulls some Ninja move by circling her arm to loosen my grip. It’s not you I’m afraid of. For a moment, her eyes rake over me, sending chills across my entire body.

It’s me. She opens the door then runs through it, escaping into the throng of partiers.

The compliment stuns me. I am a threat, in a good way. Her Devil Girl must be telling her to misbehave. Rain, come back here, I yell.

I rush out to find her. The only indication of where she’s gone is the open front door to the sorority house. I push through the sea of coeds and out to the quad.

Running across the lawn, Rain shrugs on her jacket over her bra and the tee she’s holding. She jumps into a Fiat convertible Trey’s driving.

I wish now that I hadn’t tied her shoes. If she’d lost a sneaker on the steps, I’d have an excuse to track her down.

CHAPTER TWO

JINX

My best friend Rena drives me to Candor, a local bar in Naperville. On our way over, I don’t say anything because I don’t understand what’s going on with Lennon. Rena is the one person who might shed some light on his behavior. She’s been tutoring him in math forever.

After showing fake ids to the bouncer, he gives us the green stamp, so we can drink. Inside, couples crowd the dance floor, clinging to each other. I wished I’d been braver and gone with Lennon tonight to the sorority party.

After we find a table, Rena orders us both appletinis from a waitress.

It doesn’t take long for a handsome black businessman to drop by our table. Can I buy you ladies a drink? His eyes roam over Rena.

No, thanks, she says. He’s not her type. She likes pro athletes.

Tonight, she wears a magenta top that accentuates her mocha skin. That color usually clashes with my red hair but looks great on her.

If you change your mind, I’ll be at the bar. He saunters over to it and sits down on a stool.

Jinx, what’s Lennon doing tonight? she asks. You’ve been inseparable since Zoe’s funeral. Shortly after I joined his band, Lennon’s little sister’s best friend died of leukemia. It was hard on everyone. She was only nine.

He went to a sorority party with the band and Susan.

Why didn’t you go? Sounds like fun.

It’s a shirts-off party. I’d feel awkward walking around in a bra.

You wear a bikini in the summer. What’s the diff?

Lennon would see me. I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a bathing suit around Lennon.

Why? That boy’s on fire.

He’s not a boy. Every time I’m seen with him, people look at him like he’s a pedophile, even though he’s a few months younger than me. My body looks like a ten-year-old while there’s nothing childish about Lennon. It’s not just him. I feel uncomfortable ever since…

‘Hey, maybe it’s time you talked to a counselor. She could help you get past what happened to you."

I swirl my drink with the stir stick. It took me years to tell my best friends what happened. I’m not sure I’m ready to talk with a complete stranger.

Lennon needs someone to be open with him. He has his own skeletons to wrestle with.

She’s right, but he’s been tight-lipped about his feelings. It’s hard for me to be the first one to open up. We were close while he dealt with his little sister’s battle with rabies when she almost died, but now I’m the one who has clammed up.

You haven’t slept with him yet, have you? Rena sips on her drink. What are you waiting for?

I haven’t. What if it hurts? I couldn’t walk for days after Step-monster… He raped me. Even now, it’s hard to say the words out loud.

Rena palms my hand. This must be tough for you. Do you love Lennon?

I don’t know. I think I do. He’s sweet and gentle with me. I like him a lot, and I want our relationship to achieve the next level, but he hasn’t made any advances. He hasn’t even tried to feel me up.

After what you went through, he may be waiting on you to make the first move.

The thought of being hurt again frightens me. I’m not sure I can.

Have you talked to Lennon about this?

No. He’s so moody lately, and now, we’re going to LA. What if he dumps me for not having sex with him while I’m far away from home? Then I’d be stuck in a city completely foreign to me.

If you don’t know where you stand with him, I can understand you not wanting to move there. He’s probably just horny and on edge about moving out to where his dad lives.

I’m sure he is. Lennon hates his father. I also don’t want to leave Mom, and maybe I should go to college here. I have a scholarship.

I thought you loved music.

I do. It’s just a huge step to be in LA without my friends or Mom. If I knew Lennon loved me, it would be different.

So he hasn’t said the ‘L’ word? Have you?

No. Seems like we should be sleeping together by now, but we’re not. A guy like him is used to getting laid. I’m not sure I’m ready, and I don’t know how long he’ll wait for me. The only way I know he hasn’t slept around is because he’s spent most weekends with me.

She shakes my arm. Talk to Lennon.

My heart echoes like an empty cavern, not knowing how he feels. I know I should, but what if he’s not interested in having sex with me?

She bursts out laughing. He is. Don’t be stupid.

"I made him watch Magic Mike with me twice, and he fell asleep on the couch. He has zero interest in me sexually."

Rena flicks her gaze at the bar where several guys watch us. With Lennon’s history, that can’t possibly be true. Talk to him.

I will, I say, though broaching that subject won’t be easy.

You don’t want to drive him away, Jinx. Just like you, he’s been through a lot. He needs someone to lean on.

I sip on my drink, confused as ever.

Rena stares over my head at the door. Don’t look now, but Zach’s here.

My ex-boyfriend walks into the bar, wearing a leather bomber, tight tee that shows off his muscular frame, and jeans. When he turned eighteen, he got a tat on his neck. From what I’ve heard, he has one on his shoulder. He looks as incredible as ever. After he dumped Kelly, the girls at school hit on him hard.

As his gaze scans over the clutter of tables and chairs, a few girls track him. When Lennon swaggers into a room, the girls fall silent, like a lion has entered his den to bed one from his harem. It’s quite intimidating to be with a guy receiving that much attention.

When Zach spots us, a knot forms in my chest. I still like him, but I think I’m falling for Lennon. I just wish he’d tell me how he feels.

Zach plops down in a chair at our table. What’s up? You ready for the competition? When he rattles my arm, warmth spreads through me like he’s opened a hot oven.

Yeah, I say. What about you?

Ready as ever. It’s not too late to join the ‘A’ team, he says, grinning.

Rena gives Zach a dirty look. You should’ve asked before Jinx joined Lennon’s band. She hasn’t forgotten how they turned me down two years ago before my life turned to shit.

Zach deepens his smile for me. He’s very cute, whereas, Lennon looks and seems so much older…sometimes. Other times, he’s incredibly immature.

Zach threads his fingers through mine, like he used to when we dated. I’m asking now.

I can’t just quit. Though I’d like to be in his band. Less pressure, and they probably won’t go on tour. Zach will attend the University of Chicago. If we were still dating, he’d let me know where I stand with him without me asking.

The DJ plays one of my favorite slow songs. The music envelopes me. It brings back good memories of Zach and me together.

Would you like to dance? Zach asks me.

Is it okay? I ask Rena.

I’m your best friend, not your mother.

Zach takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor. His arms wrap around my waist, making me feel secure.

He nuzzles his nose in my hair. You guys will probably win the competition if Crank doesn’t. Are you nervous about being alone in LA? It’s a dangerous city.

Not anymore than Chicago. The band will be there, and Lennon carries a gun.

He does?

Yeah. He’s had it for a few years.

Zach holds me close while we rock back and forth to the song. He lifts my chin and stares into my eyes.

When his lips descend to touch mine, I turn my head away. Please don’t. I miss Zach. I miss us. We were good together, but my feelings for Lennon, though different, are real. I can’t even explain them, but I think he’s stolen my heart.

I miss you, Jinx. I want to date you.

I’m with Lennon. For how long, I don’t know. I wish he’d try to do something other than kiss me, even though his kisses are really good—no one kisses like Lennon.

I want to be with you. We should’ve never broken up.

I stare into his dark eyes. But we did.

You wouldn’t talk to me. I was looking forward to our big night. His chin rests on my head. My parents were going to be out of town, I’d bought wine, and your favorite cupcakes.

Tears fall unbidden. Though I was nervous, I wanted Zach to be my first. Being raped took everything away from me, my security, my innocence, and because of that, I lost Zach. We couldn’t have been each other’s first. Step-monster stole that.

Zach kisses the top of my head, hugging me tight to his chest. Oh, Jinx. I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would’ve been there for you. I was stupid.

I wish it would’ve never happened, but it did.

He pulls me closer to him. If we were together again, I’d take care of you, protect you.

I’m dating Lennon, and we’ll be practically living together in LA. Would we have sex then? I’m not even sure I’m ready. Lennon is six-four, and unlike Zach, he looks like a man, and that intimidates me.

For the moment you are, but a guy like him isn’t used to having one girl. And when you go out on the road, more girls will chase him.

I know, but so far, he hasn’t been with any other girl, and they pursue him here.

Jinx, it’s only a matter of time, and California is full of beach blondes.

I realize that. Lennon is used to getting what I haven’t given him. Sex.

CHAPTER THREE

RAIN

The morning after the sorority party thrums in my head. I pop aspirin to ease the pounding. Devil Girl pops onto my shoulder, yawning and stretching. For almost eight years, I’ve managed to hide her, but last night she came out with a vengeance. I mentally flick her off my shoulder.

She lies down and curls up, echoing my thoughts. Great party.

Not that great, I mutter.

Good gracious. Lennon still hates me. After all these years, he still hasn’t gotten over that. I slam my fist into the steering wheel.

He’s hard-body beautiful. I have to agree with Devil Girl. He is completely different. Still tall but much taller and big all over. Oh God, he’s big. His cut and angled face, handsome, his body no longer coltishly awkward. Simply divine. And that rakish smile skimming over me. The hairs prickle on my arms and my breasts. My body achy and sweaty with longing. What is wrong with me?

Devil Girl sighs. Absolutely nothing.

I park in front of my house, a pricey brownstone on Chicago’s Gold Coast. It’s been my home since the day we left Naperville, the day I left Lennon sitting askance on his bike, watching us pull away.

Devil Girl lifts her head from my shoulder. You’re a dummy. You could’ve had chandelier-hanging sex with that boy—I mean man, he’s certainly no boy—and you tucked your tail between your legs and ran. Stupido. She smacks my head.

He has a girlfriend, a very nice girlfriend, I remind myself.

Thank heaven Devil Girl goes back to sleep. I wish she’d fall off and never come back. She laughs at me. No you don’t. I’m the fun one.

Going on two hours of meditation to replace sleep, I climb out of my Honda and hurry up the sidewalk. I only have a couple of hours to shower, change, and get to work.

Tears threaten to fall over stupid Lennon, so I brush them away.

For the past eight years, I’ve cyber-stalked him online. He’s grown up, no longer the tall, gangly boy I fell in love with in fifth grade. He’s just as handsome as his dad once was, before drinking and drugs took their toll.

When I saw him last