The Ugliest Man in Albuquerque: The Inquisitor

By Patrick Dorn

When the legendary Hairy Man abducts a teenage girl from her Quinceañera, a Dominican priest, a German muleskinner, and a lovesick young tailor mount a rescue mission. Their pursuit takes the unlikely heroes into the steep and treacherous Sandia Mountains above Albuquerque. This is a Weird Western short story from The Inquisitor series, detailing the fantastic, supernatural, and strange exploits of a brawling Irish priest sworn to defend and protect the Faith and the faithful in New Mexico, 1824-1851. Rated PG for action, mild innuendo, and obscured nudity. Approximately 8,100.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Patrick Dorn
• Release date: Mar 7, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386772576

Patrick Dorn

Patrick Dorn used to write weird westerns set in Old California, New Mexico, and Colorado, but then he visited Ireland. Now his supernatural fiction alternates between The West and The Emerald Isle, but is always, always weird. He's also an Anglican priest and a full-time chaplain. Check out Patrick's blog, stories, plays, musicals, children's books, and more at www.PatrickDorn.com. You can reach him at [e-mail]

Book preview

The Ugliest Man in Albuquerque

The Ugliest Man in Albuquerque

A Short Story of the Inquisitor

Patrick Dorn

Contents

Description

The Ugliest Man in Albuquerque

Afterword

About the Author

Description

When the legendary Hairy Man abducts a teenage girl from her Quinceañera, a Dominican priest, a German muleskinner, and a lovesick young tailor mount a rescue mission. Their pursuit takes the unlikely heroes into the steep and treacherous Sandia Mountains above Albuquerque.

This is a Weird Western short story from The Inquisitor series, detailing the fantastic, supernatural, and strange exploits of a brawling Irish priest sworn to defend and protect the faith and the faithful in New Mexico, 1824-1851.

Rated PG for action, mild innuendo, and obscured nudity. Approximately 8,100.

Copyright © 2017 by Patrick Dorn

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Created with Vellum Created with Vellum

The Ugliest Man in Albuquerque

A Short Story of the Inquisitor

By Patrick Dorn

16 April, 1833, The Memorial of Saint Drogo, Albuquerque

Once the Mass is over, there isn’t much for a priest to do at a Quinceañera but bless, then dig into the reception feast. I was hungry enough to skip the blessing entirely.

Almost.

Debutante Pilar Colgado’s first pair of high-heeled shoes rested atop the banquet table along with the food.

The shoes, like my belly, were empty.

Though I am the Inquisitor for the entire Rio Grande Valley, I was temporarily fulfilling parochial duties at San Felipe de Neri Church until a secular priest could be sent up from Monterrey. There was a desperate shortage of clergy in New Mexico, so I was happy to pitch in. At least until a crisis arose that required me to take up arms, literally and spiritually, to defend the Faith and the faithful.

The mariachi band played their fourth repetition of the marginally scandalous Bavarian waltz. The piece was forbidden by the Catholic Church, but like so many other regulations, word hadn’t gotten around to Albuquerque.

Señor Colgado, father of the fifteen-year-old quinceañera, chatted up a pair of immaculately dressed rancheros. They were suitors for the hand of precious Pili, who