Foot Notes: Experiences With Sasquatch, 2004-2018

By Susan Barron

Foot Notes explores the experiences of two women with the animal Sasquatch in a remote area of Alabama.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 30, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543948264

Book preview

© 2018 Susan Barron. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted

by copyright law.

ISBN: 978-1-54394-825-7 (print)

ISBN: 978-1-54394-826-4 (ebook)

I’ve been thinking about it; it’s in my mind; I’m ready.

- Mike Barron, age five, on his first bike ride without training wheels

Contents

FOREWORD

Disclaimer

A Digression on Language and Grammar

1.

"Bigfoot, really?!? Although I do remember you and the Loch Ness Monster

- Mary, childhood friend with whom I’ve recently reunited

2.

Well, Susan Baby, tell me all about it!

- Cousin Jane

3.

No, Susan

- BB, my big brother

4.

He’s real, isn’t he!!

- Aunt Bessie

5.

To Maria, my dear friend:

Ninety-nine per cent of these people in Bigfootland are crazy!!

Her response:

I know!

6.

So here we are right in the middle of a bunch of these things, and the rest of the world is just dying to get a glimpse of one!

- Jean

7.

Couldn’t he hurt you, Susan?

- Trish, my next-door neighbor

8.

I’m not surprised they’re there. They’ve probably been there forever!

- Doug, a neighbor who grew up near the Talladega Forest

9.

%#@&*!

- Me

10.

Thank you, Lord!

- Me

11.

Lots of people think they have Sasquatch DNA, but we have yet to see it.

- Official at the University of California at Davis Mammal DNA Testing Center

12.

Uncommonly Blessed Again!

- Me

13.

Good Bait

- Me

14.

It’s going to be hard to get DNA, Mom!

- My son

15.

Adieu, Dear Reader

- Me

FOREWORD

In writing this book, I run several risks that include losing friends, family, reputation, maybe even my husband, but to heck with it. I’ve had a series of experiences that involve the love of my life, namely Bigfoot. Rare experiences, thrilling experiences! These are experiences that I feel should be shared. I have no intention of trying to persuade anyone to accept this magnificent animal’s existence. The rather reserved, conserved sort of individual, who probably enjoys math and logic, may accept this book as pure entertainment, escapism at its best, a trip into fantasy. Or perhaps something else entirely… EEEK… lies.

If, on the other hand, one possesses a mind that’s a little slippery, that loves oddities, that usually believes what a fellow human being says, this book may reveal something quite amazing.

Disclaimer

Under no circumstances have I ever pretended to be an expert on anything! I completed basic classes in Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Geology and Astronomy. I have a degree in English Literature and worked a couple of years on graduate work in English and Comparative Literature at the University of Iowa with nothing much to show for my labors! I am technologically unsound. I am the most rank amateur at investigating anything of this magnitude. However, I hope that my enthusiasm has counted for something in this endeavor.

A Digression on Language and Grammar

When I use the name Bigfoot, I feel a little embarrassed and sort of nauseated, because it’s a poor name for my large friend. Basically denigrating, condescending, and low-minded, it diminishes what is certainly one of the most spectacular and intelligent species to come along. People recognize the name Bigfoot, and I use it just at the beginning of my story so that I am sure you know what you’re reading about. I much prefer the beautiful and evocative name, Sasquatch, used for centuries by Native North Americans. Some of our Bigfoot hunters unfortunately have shortened this name to Squatch. This ugly rendering appears to be the hunters’ way to diminish this top-of-the-food-chain animal. Or perhaps