Riding Out the Regrets: The Father Michael Trilogy, #2

By Hilary Walker

Father Michael returns home late to find an old college roommate sitting on his doorstep: Father Dan has been kicked out by his wife and needs somewhere to stay.

In the past, Jack Harper's horses have always helped solve people's problems and Father Michael appeals to the equine trainer for assistance in reconciling the married couple. But the outcome is devastating. Not only that, but veteran Justin Chambers and his estranged spouse Elizabeth are at each other's throats.

As if that weren't enough, the pastor's ex-girlfriend shows up, rekindling emotions Father Michael thought he'd dealt with long ago. 

The world of evil is crushing his soul as he struggles to live up to his priestly calling and fight off the devil's onslaught. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hilary Walker
• Release date: Apr 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386469933

Hilary Walker

British born bestselling author Hilary Walker writes uplifting Christian fiction that transports readers into the healing world of horses. She lives on Hilton Head Island with two British bulldogs and her husband, who hopes she'll get interested in golf.  No luck so far. Instead she rides competitive dressage on her homebred Welsh cross gelding, and enjoys taking him on the trails.

Book preview

RIDING OUT THE REGRETS

A Priest Struggles with his Heathen Past

––––––––

HILARY WALKER

Riding Out the Regrets:

A Priest Struggles

with his Heathen Past

By Hilary C.T. Walker

Copyright 2018 Hilary C.T. Walker

Cover Design: Hilary C.T. Walker

All Rights Reserved

WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Published in the United States of America.

* * *

Disclaimer

––––––––

The author and publisher are not responsible for the reader’s use of the information contained in this book.

Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

This book is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of physicians. The reader should regularly consult a physician in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.

For Catholic Priests

and the

Sacrifices They Make

for the Sake of Souls

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One: An Unexpected Guest

Chapter Two:  Lunch at Harpers’ Reunion

Chapter Three: Poppy Arrives

Chapter Four: Afternoon at the Cabin

Chapter Five: St. Columba the Grey Heron

Chapter Six: At the Auto shop

Chapter Seven: Spiritual Counseling

Chapter Eight:  Elizabeth Chambers

Chapter Nine: Sister Rita

Chapter Ten: Papa Helps Out

Chapter Eleven: Things Get Off Track

Chapter Twelve: First Friday Fireworks

Chapter Thirteen: Leaving for the Islands

Chapter Fourteen: Providence Pays a Visit

Chapter Fifteen: Two Horsemen Come A-Calling

Chapter Sixteen: Life Is Short

Chapter Seventeen: On Being Human

Chapter Eighteen: Divine Mercy

Chapter Nineteen: Sister Rita’s Invitation

Chapter Twenty:  Justin in Action

Chapter Twenty-One: Timothy and Jemima

Chapter Twenty-Two: After Class

Chapter Twenty-Three: Elizabeth Is Diverted

Chapter Twenty-Four: Recovering Faith

Chapter Twenty-Five: Reflections & Sparkling Coals

Chapter Twenty-Six: Faith and Charity

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Harpers’ Reunion

Chapter Twenty-Eight: A Bequest

Resources

Bibliography

Glossary of Terms

About the Author

Acknowledgements

Discover Other Books by Hilary Walker

Connect with Me

Introduction

A few months ago I was watching ‘The Journey Home’ on the Catholic television channel EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network).

Converts are asked in the program to explain what brought them into the Catholic Church. One of the interviewees was a married Lutheran minister. He wanted to become a Catholic priest and this meant his immediate family had to convert with him.

This fascinated me - and Father Dan Hopkins walked onto my computer screen.

***

While I was writing the outline for this book, hurricane Irma raged through the islands where Jack and Laura go for their tropical honeymoon.

Irma’s high winds and giant waves devastated St. Thomas in the Virgin Islands - where the couple land before taking a boat to their destination on neighboring St. John. Unfortunately this island also suffered significant damage.

But the locals have always managed to rebuild fast. My husband and I have stayed at the hotel resort of Caneel Bay both before and after hurricanes hit the beautiful St. John area, and can attest to how swiftly it bounces back from these natural disasters.

So I ask my readers to imagine that the Harper newlyweds travel either before the hurricane hit, or after the rebuild!

***

By underscoring the humanness of Catholic priests in this book I hope to emphasize the enormity of the sacrifices they make for the sake of saving souls.

For those who have difficulty getting past the much-publicized scandals, perhaps it will help to remember that Judas was in the Church right from the beginning. Satan’s greatest efforts to destroy the Catholic Church are directed at her clergy, and sometimes he will succeed.

But Christ has promised us that the gates of hell will not prevail against His Church. Good priests far outnumber those who succumb to evil and while Satan may win battles, he will not win the war!

I hope you have as much fun reading this book as I did in writing it.

God bless,

Hilary Walker, Maryland, 2018

[e-mail]

Chapter One: An Unexpected Guest

Easter Sunday Evening - April 2nd

It was dark outside when an exhausted Father Michael arrived back at his humble apartment to find a black Nissan Altima sitting in his parking space. What on earth was Father Dan Hopkins doing here at this time of night? Frowning, he drew up next to the car and both men exited their vehicles.

His friend waved. Hello, Michael! Apologies for turning up unannounced like this.

What’s up? Father Michael wasted no time on pleasantries.  

The priest reddened. My wife kicked me out and I need somewhere to stay.

I’m really sorry to hear that, Dan. The pastor walked up to his fellow cleric and placed a hand on his shoulder.  My place is tiny, but you’re most welcome to spend the night.

I’ll need a longer term solution, but thank you. I could do with a sympathetic ear.

That you certainly have. What about luggage?

Rather a lot. The priest pointed at his car with a lost expression. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be away. But I do have an overnight bag. He opened the passenger door and pulled a small suitcase off the seat.

They were the same age but Father Dan was a few inches taller. His hair was still black and he carried fewer excess pounds than his grey-haired companion. Father Michael wore a long black soutane, whereas his friend wore black trousers and a black shirt. But the same white dog collars made them readily recognizable as Catholic priests.

They entered the apartment in the administrative building of Our Lady of Sorrows Church, dipped a finger into the holy water of the small font by the door and crossed themselves.

Father Dan whistled. "You weren’t kidding. This place is tiny!"

People think I’m exaggerating when I tell them. But there’s no room here to swing a mouse, let alone a cat.

The estranged husband laughed. Can’t your parish spring for something larger?

Oh, my parishioners have offered on numerous occasions, but I prefer to spend the money on more worthy causes.

I would suggest you’re a more than worthy cause. ‘The laborer deserves his wages,’ he quoted from Luke 10:7.

Oh, I get my wages, don’t worry.

You always were a frugal man. Since you took Holy Orders, that is.

Smiling, Father Michael cited Matthew 10:10: Take no bag for the road, or second tunic, or sandals, or staff.

But you still have that beaten up blue Toyota, Father Dan noted.

Don’t remind me. It’s going to the auto shop on Wednesday. I can put off the repairs no longer.

That car has done you proud.

"It had better continue to do me proud. Now, can I offer you a drink?"

Yes, please! His friend nodded vigorously. The stiffer the better!

Father Michael poured large whiskies for them both and they settled into the leather armchairs crowding round his small gas fire.

Now tell me what’s going on between you two.

* * *

Earlier that day he’d listened to another man’s marital woes.

A veteran, Justin Chambers was recovering from PTSD, thanks to the healing presence of a very special horse, and Father Michael had bet the man that he could get him into Our Lady of Sorrows’ pews by Easter Sunday.

The day arrived and no Justin came to Easter Mass. But after the noon service the soldier walked into the church and told the priest that he had won their wager.

Justin’s subsequent confession had been long and grueling, as he let go of the long suppressed pain and guilt accumulated during his time with Special Forces in Iraq. He expressed regrets about his behavior towards his wife on his return home. He wished she’d been more understanding, but acknowledged his PTSD had been hard on them both and accepted his part in the breakdown of their relationship.

As he listened, Father Michael was filled with joy and gratitude to God - for the veteran’s confession had been unthinkable a few short weeks earlier.

The once broken man left Our Lady of Sorrows with a far happier outlook on life. Most importantly, he now believed in the unfathomable mercy of God and that all his sins had been forgiven.

They had agreed to continue communicating even if he were redeployed to Iraq - a looming possibility.

This momentous event delayed Father Michael’s Easter Day trip to his parents in Virginia by two hours. But exultation at Justin’s return to the Faith had buoyed him during the drive. He fetched his mother and took her with him to visit his father in the Charlottesville nursing home.

And now before him sat Father Dan, whose wife - just like Justin’s - was demanding a separation.

The two priests had met at college. Daniel Hopkins was an Episcopal theology student and Timothy Michael Shepherd, an ex-Catholic atheist, was studying for his business degree.

They shared a room in the same dorm building, and Tim enjoyed arguing against God with his roommate late into the night. He took pleasure picking holes in Christianity to rile the more serious Dan, who already knew his calling was to be a minister.

Despite their religious differences, the two remained friends throughout their four years and Father Michael had often wondered what became of his college pal after they graduated and went their separate ways.

It was to be two decades before he discovered Dan’s whereabouts.

A year ago he was on an Easter retreat in Pennsylvania with thirty other Catholic priests from all over the country, but couldn’t help staring at one particular participant. He was sure he knew the man but was unable to place him.

The priest was casting furtive glances his way, too, as if thinking the same thing.

Curiosity finally got the better of Father Michael. He sat next to the man at lunch one day and was stunned to discover he was his former college roommate, now Father Dan, a Catholic priest, married with two sons.

The cleric was equally amazed that his atheist friend had become a Catholic priest. The years had aged them both somewhat and they had a lot of catching up to do.

Father Michael explained how he had returned to the Catholic Faith one Thanksgiving, after years of stubborn atheism and a high-powered job in New York. (Told in Riding Out the Turbulence.)

For me it was a simple matter of going back to my Catholic roots, he told Father Dan.  "But you made a complete turnaround from dogmatic belief in your Evangelical background. I haven’t forgotten all those nights in college telling me your religion was the only valid one! What on earth happened to change your mind? It must have been something very powerful."

His friend grimaced. More like Chinese water torture: a slow drip-drip of doubts eroding my Protestant convictions.

Why torture?

The priest flinched. "I was a Lutheran minister, for heavens’ sake! It was agony for me, questioning the articles of my faith while having to behave in front of my congregation as if I still believed in them.

"Can you imagine what it would be like for you, a Catholic priest, to discover your church had lied about - say, the Real Presence? Supposing you were to find out that St. Jerome had mistranslated the Bible, and that instead of saying the Eucharist is the Body and Blood of Christ, it turns out that Christ actually said in the original Greek version, ‘This represents My Body and My Blood’?"

Father Michael told his friend that such a thing would indeed cause him torment. But how did your doubts arise?

"To be honest, I had often wondered about the biblical support for those two cornerstones of Protestantism, sola fide and sola Scriptura."

His friend grinned. You could have fooled me. You were most tenacious in your defense of those tenets!

I was being attacked by a very aggressive atheist in those days. I had to fight back!

So you were struggling with doubts even then?

"I guess so. The path from the Bible to sola fide, for example, was never obvious to me especially since plenty of scriptural references seemed to refute it. But I assumed that greater minds than mine had grasped what my feeble intellect failed to understand."

Father Michael shook his head. I would never have accused you of having a feeble intellect, Dan!

Thank you, but you remember what it’s like when you’re just an insignificant student in college. How dare you presume to question doctrines that finer minds than yours have come up with?

Those ‘finer minds’ have a lot to answer for! Father Michael said with feeling.

They certainly do. But luckily, around the time my doubts were becoming a real hindrance to my ministry, a book was published that supported my position.

It wasn’t Stephen Kay’s book, by any chance?

Yes! His conversion story from Evangelical Protestantism to Catholicism was a huge comfort to me.

It is very well-written, Father Michael agreed. But it must have been hard to make the break. And what about your family?

It was a long road, but we eventually made it.

I rather suspect you’re glossing over a big part of the story.

You suspect right.

That was as far as their conversation went and Father Michael respected his friend’s reticence, since he clearly didn’t wish to expand on the details of his family’s conversion. For Dan would only have been allowed into the Catholic clergy if his wife and children had joined him.

After this reconnection they’d resumed their friendship and it was natural for the ex-Protestant minister to come to his old roommate in his time of need. For they knew each other well, warts and all.

Father Dan hunched forwards, cradling his whisky glass and staring at the sad gas flames. He took a sip and drew a hand through his thick black hair. This morning Faith said those dreaded words ‘We need to talk.’

Father Michael made a face. Ah, yes, I understand that’s an alarm bell for couples.

"To the men in couples, Tim, yes! Sorry, I mean Michael. I still can’t get used to your not being Tim anymore."

His friend smiled. Breaking with my atheist past was easier if I adopted my other name.

Like waking up a part of yourself that had lain dormant?

Yes, that better part of me which I’d neglected for so long. Father Michael said. So what did Faith want to talk about?

She said that she’d put up with things the way they are for far too long and needed a break from me.

Father Michael was bewildered. Is that all? Didn’t she elucidate?

Oh, yes. When I said I didn’t understand what was so horrible about the way things are, she was most forthcoming with details! The married priest leaned back and took a larger mouthful of whisky. "She said that of course I didn’t find anything wrong with the status quo because everything always went according to how I wanted it. She complained she never has any say in what happens."

Do you think that’s true?

What I think doesn’t seem to matter. She listed a whole raft of incidences when I had ‘railroaded’ her into doing things, as she put it.

Can you give me any examples?

Father Daniel covered his eyes with his left hand and his host