Life of Randy (Book One: Theme Park): Life of Randy, #1

By philip lister

When Randy and his step dad fight on moving day his family moves away and abandons him. Now he has to face life and his bullies head on.

Follow him as he embarks on a coming of age journey where anything goes.

Living with best friend Ana that he has fancied for years is, well interesting, especially when her boyfriend Mark lives there too. With stolen glances added to the mix it makes for an explosive cocktail.

He moves out and meets Clara and he thinks it could be love at first sight, but when Ana comes knocking at his door, will he give into temptation?

After receiving some life changing news he is overcome by his emotions. On a path of self-destruction he wants one thing, retribution against his tormentors, but in his escalating rage just how far will he go?

• Language: English
• Publisher: philip lister
• Release date: Mar 17, 2018
• ISBN: 9781980569381

Book preview

Prologue

I have been blessed by my parents with the lovely name of Randy Parker. I left school at sixteen as it bored the hell out of me and I was bullied for practically all my school life.

I have always looked for a girlfriend but I have never found one to settle down with. You girls drive me crazy. I cannot understand women and even in school the closest I ever got was being touched up underneath a table or a bit of a fondle in a park, I’m being honest, that is me.

I work in a theme park by the sea in the lovely town of Southend, 

trust me there is not an awful lot to do. I work on the rides, I press buttons all day long. Pardon me for being so rude but if I see a young girlie come along who takes my fancy I cannot help myself as you will see.

I live with my family, they are dysfunctional, so am I, but I get on with life and whatever it throws at me. I am a lad of principals even if they can get me in trouble sometimes or just block the hell out of me. I am honest, candid, dramatic and I say what I bloody think and balls to anyone that doesn’t like it.

That musical ride 

One day I came into work on my bike, attached it to the railings took off my massive Walkman with the cassette etc, yes, old school, it was rubbish, stopped working. I amused myself by breaking it into tiny pieces and threw it against the wall, my mentality was probably the age of an eleven-year-old at this stage. I threw the pieces in the bin and took a seat on the long wooden bench and waited for the boss. 

The boss arrived with his normal stride, a rather tubby chap, imagine he gets his fair share of pies. Mmmm pies. He starts to dish out the rides to everyone. Which ride you are on dictates whether you will have a good day, or a bad day.

Randy, I got a job for you

Yes, boss?

The big dome. Oh great.

The big dome, oh my god how lucky, not. Grrrrr, what an arse. Not only am I out the way, I get to listen to stupid music and the day is gonna be soooo long. 

All the others start to get up to go and take their respective rides. 

Randy? 

Yes? 

You're gonna sit on the ride today but the ride is going to be closed. 

Why's that, boss? 

That’s the way it is, don’t ask any questions, he said to me. OK, so what the hell is going on? 

I wander off slowly like a moody teenager, don't judge, and to my ride, to just sit there. Woohoo. They open the park up at eleven a.m., it’s a Friday morning out of season, just cold, there is not an enormous number of customers so yeah, pretty boring.

It's around six degrees, I am wrapped up warm in two t-shirts, two jumpers and two trousers. What! I get colds easy!

So I’m sat there waiting and these people start to come up to me, it’s a camera crew! Three people, then I see another person approach me, a blond guy that I seem to know from somewhere. He’s tall, in a big blue jacket, long hair rather good looking. Hmm, I’m not jealous, where do I know him from?

Then there are two girls that approach me, Wow, these are not girls I see often, maybe a late night outside the club, or inside in the VIP area. What are they doing? I thought, my jaw to the ground. They were wearing big coats fake fur or real, dunno, don’t care but they had whacking great high heels, one white and one a really flashy red.

Hello big boy, The blonde haired brown eyed bombshell said to me

Hello... I stuttered

They already here? asked her sexy red lips

Me, just a mess, nodded and pointed in front of me.

They both entered into the big dome

My eyes transfixed as they passed by, those legs were to die for. That made my day, but what are they doing in there? I wondered to myself, Where do I know that guy from, and why are there cameramen and sexy girls with high heels here? Fuck, they’re making a porno! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, there are people making a porno in my ride, OMG!

God, I gotta get in there, I’ll never let it down if I don’t.

The bosses know I’m here watching the ride, I mustn’t leave my post. I can’t let customers in......How am I gonna do it? I saw one of my friends was on sweeping duty.

Bob, get your arse in here

What’s going on, Randy?

Can you just sit for me for five minutes, Bob?

"Why’s that? Bob asked,

Just trust me it’ll be worth your while, I said.

He agreed and he took my place and I zoomed off into the ride, ‘behind the scenes’ ha, ha, ha. Yes, my name’s Randy Parker, what you gonna do with that?

I walked slowly through the dimly lit corridors to not make noise and not to be discovered.

I start to hear voices, slowly now, I go into stealth mode. There is a big opening with some of the fantasy creatures and sure enough there are the cameramen and the guy and the two girls butt naked, I can’t believe my eyes. You got the guy, arse up to the monster behind the blonde and the other girl sat on the floor snogging the girl. But this is a family theme park. There are people having sex in a family theme park and it is being filmed and I’m watching. Wicked!

That guy must be doing something right cause it looks like the blonde girl is enjoying herself bent over with her gorgeous big breasts on show bouncing about back and forth with her velvety looking tongue intertwined with the other girl, brunette, smaller boobs, long hair down to her shoulders, she was pushing her breasts up for the camera.

This is one of the most exciting things I have done in my life.

They started changing positions, the cameramen moving and the director telling them what to do. The blonde girl spotted me, I moved back into the shadows, she didn’t say anything. They continued doing what they were paid to do. This time the guy was on the floor with the blonde on top of him facing him, with the other girl, well, sat on him. But the blonde, I was transfixed, she was looking at me and licking her lips. She knew I was there, I was too excited by this fact. My phone started vibrating, I took it from my pocket, Bob was calling me, I ran back off to see him leaving them to make their noises. What a day!

I ran back just in time to take the place of Bob and just at that time security was passing by

What are you doing, Bob? Nick said

Nothing much.

Get back to work, you’re not paid for gabbing.

Thanks mate, I owe you one, I said

Damn right you do, Bob replied, and then he was off on his way.

I leaned back on my stool and started reflecting on what I had seen, pulled out my phone and texted Bob,

You know they’re making a porno over here?

No way.

Thanks again, the blonde was checking me out while doing the bloke.

You should have volunteered your services.

Lol, only she knew I was there.

I’m coming back over for a look.

Just at that moment my guests were starting to come out from my ride and Bob had arrived back with me to gawp like horny teenagers. I noticed the director, forty-year-old, smart jeans, smart beard, dark hair, well groomed.

Come on everyone, let’s get lunch, I fancy Italian.

The others start to follow him, the blonde comes back over to me and whispers in my ear, I hope you liked what you saw. She grabbed a chunk of my skinny arse and then left.

Bob and I were gobsmacked with our jaws trailing along the floor.

Bet you can’t do better than that! I shouted at Bob and started doing a little victory dance!

The wheel

Well, we have the big wheel in lots of theme parks, I had watched others do it as a ride and I always wanted to do it. It’s probably the most complicated ride in the entire park for ride operators. Counterbalancing, ie larger people and also forwards and backwards. Need GCSE’s and all to operate it? No, not really.

Stonking hot day, got to be a good thirty degrees, everyone in t-shirts, girls looking hot. So I’m drinking my red bull