Sudhu Nona: An expat in Sri Lanka - the Good, Bad and Ugly

By Eva Stone

Essential reading for anyone interested in Sri Lanka or keen to seek out adventures across the tropical teardrop island.

In 2008 Eva Stone moved from the UK to Sri Lanka in the midst of the civil war. All of her family and friends thought she had gone mad and was walking straight into trouble, while Eva thought she'd be blissed out in paradise. The truth lies somewhere between the two. After the first five years of adventures on the island, she decided to write a blog about her experiences. She ran her popular blog, titled “Adventures in a Tuk-Tuk”, offering advice and stories from everyday life, as well as her travels around the island. More than a decade on, Eva has found her second, or maybe even third, wind living on the teardrop island. It hasn't been without its challenges, but Eva's mindset is attuned to staying open-minded, adventurous, being okay with making mistakes and building resilience.

Considering traveling, working, or retiring in Sri Lanka?

Sudhu Nona is a fascinating journey through the urban humdrum, tropical wilderness and cultural traditions of Sri Lanka. Through a series of entertaining anecdotes and informative stories, Sudhu Nona explores the idea of embracing unfamiliar cultures, learning new things and connecting to the island and its people at a deeper level. The book provides valuable insight to those considering Sri Lanka for travel, work, sea-change or retirement. The reader gets a real picture of what it's like to experience Sri Lanka from an foreigner's perspective - warts and all. From fellow expats, corrupt cops, local healers, colourful locals, dodgy politicians, and even a few encounters with local shamans, Sudhu Nona provides a glimpse of the good, bad and ugly of life in Sri Lanka. It is also the perfect primer for anyone interested in pursuing a sustainable lifestyle in a foreign country.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eva Stone
• Release date: Dec 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9780463401569

Eva Stone

Eva Stone moved from the UK to Sri Lanka in early 2008 and after the first five years of adventures on the island decided to write a blog about her experiences. She runs her popular blog, titled “Adventures in a Tuk-Tuk”, offering advice and stories from everyday life, as well as her travels around the island. You’ll find Eva off on some adventure exploring undeveloped and unique parts of the island; connecting with the locals; indulging her passion for photography and videography; and collecting more stories to share further down the track.

Book preview

SUDHU NONA

An expat in Sri Lanka: the Good, Bad and Ugly

eva stone

This is a work of non-fiction. Nonetheless, some of the names and personal characteristics of the individuals involved have been changed in order to disguise their identities. Any resulting resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Copyright © 2018 by Eva Stone

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior permission in writing from the author.

Made in Sri Lanka

eBook Edition: December 2018

ISBN-13: 9780463401569

To my family and friends around the globe, who have come along with me on my personal voyage of discovery in Sri Lanka.

And to all my readers, who have connected or engaged with my ideas, adventures, words, and the Adventures in a Tuk-Tuk blog.

Heartfelt gratitude and thanks.

A special thank you to Faith and Subash for their helpful ideas and continuous encouragement.

Introduction

Everything flows and nothing abides, everything gives way and nothing stays fixed.

―HERECLITUS

Roughly five years after moving to Sri Lanka, I started an online blog called "Adventures in a Tuk-Tuk" about life as a foreign expat on the island. My intention was to share adventures and stories as a way to help visitors, travellers and expats to more easily learn how to navigate their way around Sri Lanka, its people and culture.

I have used the term expat (the shortened word for the term expatriate) to refer to myself throughout this book and also on the blog, as it seemed to be a familiar term that people could relate to, for a person living in a foreign country. If you check the dictionary definition, an expatriate is someone who temporarily or permanently resides in a country and culture that is not where they were originally brought up. Truth be told, I’m simply a foreigner who resides in Sri Lanka, but you could just as easily call me an immigrant seeing as it has become something of a permanent move for me after a decade.

There has been much debate about the use of expat versus immigrant. I don’t necessarily agree with much of what has been said or written about the differences because the arguments seem largely inflammatory, provocative or unhelpful. I definitely don’t buy into the idea of westerners being referred to as expats and Asians or non-westerners as immigrants. There are many western immigrants living in Sri Lanka, as there are Sri Lankan expats living abroad.

In my opinion, anyone who has moved away from their country of origin is essentially an expat with the potential to be an immigrant if they choose to make it a permanent move. As a result, I tend to use the terms expat, immigrant and foreigner interchangeably.

This book has emerged from some of the material that has appeared on the blog, as well as new material that has never been published.

It is a collection of some of the stories and anecdotes from my life over the past decade in Sri Lanka and is meant as an ode to the island, people and culture. I have more stories and anecdotes to share, but those will have to wait for another book.

The main themes in this book centre around everyday life through an expat lens. I published an ongoing series of posts titled, An Expat in Sri Lanka - the Good, Bad and Ugly that have been popular on the blog and for that reason I’ve put together this collection of stories and anecdotes. These give a picture of everyday life for a foreigner attempting to jump across the cultural divide as well as glimpses of the transition to embrace a more local lifestyle rather than the traditional expat urban lifestyle that is more commonly known.

Hopefully, it sheds some light on some of the quirks between cultures and things I’ve learnt or am still learning about Sri Lanka. Above all, I hope that when you read this you recognise that I love this island and its rich culture. Through the good, bad and ugly, I certainly have my own set of frustrations, but they are intermingled with some very enriching experiences.

It has taken time, effort and a certain amount of open-mindedness to make Sri Lanka my home, but even during the most frustrating of times, life on the island is never dull or uninteresting.

The title for this book, Sudhu Nona, literally translates as white lady. This is the name I’ve been called for over a decade in Sri Lanka, and it seemed appropriate as the title of this collection of stories and anecdotes.

If I have written anything that upsets or contains errors, please accept my apologies in advance, as it is not my intention. I have found that when you traverse a new and vastly different culture, you are bound to misinterpret and make mistakes. Some of these I am sharing in this book. I know I have made mistakes or errors of judgement over the years, but hopefully I have learned these lessons well, and by sharing they may offer you the opportunity to sidestep some of them so you don’t repeat my mistakes.

Please remember that my personal experiences and reflections may not be the same as those of other expats. My perspective, cultural conditioning and biases play a huge part in how I see things and also in how I adapt to new situations. They may or may not resonate with you, but I kindly request you bear this in mind as you delve into my expat adventures. At the end of the day, we are all unique individuals with different perspectives and diverse preferences. How we each respond to a new environment that challenges our conditioning or thinking is a huge opportunity to learn and grow. I believe this is also what makes us all uniquely fascinating in our own ways and there is beauty in sharing that. Please take what you find useful from this book and leave the rest.

I have included a glossary towards the end of the book for any Sinhala words or phrases I may have used. And, I have also included a section at the end of the book for further reading material, which contains references to news articles, websites and books. These have been arranged according to the relevant chapters in the book where I have made reference to them, or where further reading may help to understand the context of a particular story or subject.

Last but not least, I humbly thank you for taking an interest in purchasing this book and hope that in reading it you discover something beautiful about Sri Lanka. Maybe you will find something helpful or interesting. Or maybe you will feel an impulse to come and visit, or return for another spell.

Warmest wishes from my tiny island to wherever you are.

Eva

25 December 2018

The low-down on an expat move to Sri Lanka

The ideal place for me is the one in which it is most natural to live as a foreigner.

― ITALO CALVINO

My relocation from London to Colombo took place in early 2008 and since then the most common question I have been asked has been "What is it really like living as an expat in Sri Lanka?" Whether it's my network abroad, tourists visiting Sri Lanka, locals, expat Sri Lankans, or random people I find myself in a conversation with, they invariably ask me this question. It has been difficult to find a suitably succinct answer that adequately describes my expat life on the island. Quite possibly there are no right words, but rather, it's more like a moveable feast or sequence of moments that really need to be pieced together in a series of anecdotes in order to really illustrate what it’s like.

I have largely been in residence around Colombo with some longer stints in and around Kandy, but I have travelled extensively around the island by all forms of transport, with many different travel companions and a sense of open-mindedness. I’d also hazard a guess that I’ve travelled at least 90% or more of the island in the past decade.

Initially, I felt some resistance but my intention was always to embrace the new, the different and challenge myself to be more adventurous. For one, it's a totally different culture than what I've been brought up in. It's Asian rather than Western in its history, culture, people, views and workings. Though surprisingly, there are very western parts to modern-day Sri Lanka. Historically, Sri Lanka has been colonised by the Portuguese, Dutch and British. The legacy of this resonates throughout the island in quite a few ways - from architecture, urban planning, education system, legal system, street names and much, much more. I have to stifle a chuckle whenever I meet a Cyril, Neville, Percy, Doris, Daisy, or Violet instead of local Sinhala or Tamil names.

In my first year in Sri Lanka, the phrase "amidst chaos there is simplicity" constantly echoed in my mind. I inhaled the busy congested traffic, maniacal bus drivers, messy buildings and crowds of people. In spite of all of this, I felt a kind of relative order and a natural rhythm in the midst of it all. Local people seemed relatively happier or content compared to their counterparts living in busier cities like London, Melbourne or Singapore. All three cities are places where I've lived before. This is not to say that everything is wonderful on this little island, no, far from it. But there is something uniquely different here. And for the past decade this has been what I've been exploring and seeking out.

One of the questions I genuinely wanted to know in the early days was whether I was living in a paradise or a pit? I wanted to know the true Sri Lanka; what defines this island, its people, their origins; and the direction in which it would develop and grow. Naturally you don't figure this out in a day, a week or a month. It takes more time, fresh experiences, travel and new interactions. As the years have passed I've had a great deal more insight into the culture, politics, way of life and the multitude of changes on this tear-drop island.

In my opinion Sri Lanka is definitely more paradise than pit, but you can still find the pit in a handful of places if you look hard enough. And I have to admit that it's in the most unexpected places on the island that they reveal themselves. As the island nation continues to develop and grow, of its own accord and by the forces that be, my wish is that the natural paradise component of this island and its rich heritage isn’t lost or degraded, but preserved. Unfortunately, things don’t always last the way you want them to, but I hope that they continually transform for the better.

As any expat will tell you, when you first move to a foreign country it's definitely hard work - from packing up your old home, to finding and settling into a new one, making new friends, adapting to a new and foreign environment, and learning how to do things from scratch. You don’t realise how hard it can be at the start.

As I found out when I moved to Sri Lanka, it's even harder when:

there’s a long-standing civil war in the country (i.e. at the time when I moved to Sri Lanka the civil war was still ongoing and there was no end in sight)

you are unfamiliar with and overwhelmed by the constant and widespread military presence throughout the island

you don't speak the local language so confusion can occur at times

you are used to a country that has four distinct seasons, namely spring, summer, autumn and winter. And now you have to learn to cope with a tropical climate, which basically means it’s hot and humid year-round with two tropical monsoon seasons

you experience major culture shock even though you’ve visited and spent time in the country in the past

Prior to making the move to Sri Lanka, I had holidayed around the island on a couple of occasions. Nevertheless, holidaying and travelling offer a very different experience from that of moving to live and work in a foreign country. Something to make a note of for future reference.

When I initially arrived in Sri Lanka I remember receiving a very warm welcome. In the midst of the war, confusion and culture shock, I felt welcome from the time I passed through immigration to when I settled into my new home and had figured out some of the basic things about life in Colombo. In fact, I was and still continue to be treated most respectfully by the majority of people here. Admittedly with local people that I know quite well, I'm treated like I'm part of their family which is both heart-warming and unique. It's definitely something to be treasured, especially when you know what it's like living in other major cities around the world, where it can be difficult to make friends because everyone is busy in their own little world and you can end up feeling quite isolated. Fortunately, this has never been the case for me in Sri Lanka.

Even so, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. Initially, I had a difficult time getting used to the military presence in those early days, especially the high density of military checkpoints in and around Colombo and throughout the island, and armed personnel. Logically, I knew it was part of the security measures in the country, but it was still frustrating to have to carry my passport everywhere as I'd be regularly stopped at checkpoints and required to answer questions regarding my identity and status in the country.

Those were the days of heightened security and necessary precautions against bombings and shootings. I used to feel agitated whenever there would be government officials passing through with their procession of motorcades and all normal traffic would be instructed to stop and make way. The Special Forces Units accompanying the procession gave the distinct impression they would shoot if you made a step out of place. In fact, one of my friends was travelling in a vehicle behind an official on one such occasion when a bomb actually blew up the vehicle front of him. He was very lucky to have survived that experience.

Nothing really bad happened to me during those early years, but it took some time getting used to living under those particular conditions. Though I have lived in other countries as an expat, the move to those other countries wasn't as distinct or challenging as it was when I initially moved to Sri Lanka.

One thing that has both frustrated and amused me has been the enormous about of red tape in this country. It can feel like it is endless. Coming from the country that invented red tape and also colonised this tear-drop island, it is no wonder that the British system still rules strong and can still drive me bonkers. I understand that red tape probably creates employment, but it is seriously mind-boggling to experience. So here are a few examples.

The first example is the Department of Immigration and Emigration (it’s kind of peculiar how its acronym forms the word DIE). Whether you need to obtain a visa, renew a visa or obtain a travel document, the process can leave you either feeling frustration or despair, or in my case you end up tearing your hair out. If you’re a foreigner visiting for an extended period or an expat living here then you know what I'm talking about. Well, that was my experience in the early years. I'll admit that although it has gotten better, it still has a way to go.

At my first application for a visa I had to make three to four trips because they needed additional documents, or they wanted the original. If there’s one lesson I’ve learned about official applications in Sri Lanka it has been to ensure I have my original documents and certified copies with me. That initial experience was a painful one because I didn't have the original documents with me and it meant that I had to jump through hoops to obtain them.

Overall, I think the most frustrating part of dealing with the Department of Immigration and Emigration has been to figure out the process or system for having your application checked, approved and submitted, and then having to beat the queues. Typically an official (i.e. the Controller or Deputy Controller) has to sign off on your application and sight/approve your original documents before it can be accepted for processing. Unlike the systems I've previously been used to, none of this is written anywhere official or explained to you at the customer service desk, so you have to frustratingly figure it out for yourself. After making a series of mistakes and asking numerous people about the process, I eventually figured out the process. Since this initial debacle, the experience I’ve gained has stood me in good stead ever since. These days I just have to keep abreast of any changes to the process.

When I made my first visa application at the Department of Immigration and Emigration it took days of back-and-forth. I’ve heard that people sometimes slip some rupees to the staff to speed things up, but it’s not legal, and even if you were to do that it could create a precedent of bribery. My recommendation is that you take the path of least resistance and ensure you bring all your supporting documents (if in doubt, just have all the originals with you and plenty of certified copies) when making an application at the Department of Immigration and Emigration. Copies of passport photos may also come in handy. And prioritise figuring out the application process from the start so that you can efficiently submit your application and then allow plenty of waiting time.

The second example is the Sri Lankan postal service and the receipt of international parcels. If you expect to receive goods from abroad then you’re in for some red-tape at the Central Mail Exchange in Colombo (or if you are based out of Colombo, the nearest corresponding Central Mail Exchange or designated post office that handles international parcels).

In all other countries where I’ve resided, the custom has been for parcels to be delivered directly to my nominated address at work or home, or alternatively I’ve been able pick the item up from my local post office. Unfortunately, home delivery isn’t possible in Sri Lanka due to legal restrictions. According to local regulations each and every parcel should be opened and examined by a customs officer before delivery. To meet this requirement, notice is usually sent requesting the recipient to come to the Central Mail Exchange so that postal and customs officers can open and examine the parcel in front of the recipient. After the parcel has been cleared and any taxes or duties have been paid, the recipient is then able to take physical delivery of the item.

Early on I didn’t know about the local regulations so I was confused and unhappy about having to visit the Foreign Parcels Office of the Central Mail Exchange to take delivery of my parcels. Each time I would receive a postal note instructing me to visit to the Central Mail Exchange in Colombo to clear my parcel.

After a few times, I learnt there are about five stages in the process to clear and collect your parcel beginning with completing and signing the postal note that was received by post. After submitting it to a postal clerk they register the item number on some kind of postal register. Your postal note is then passed to the back office to retrieve your parcel while you wait for your item number to be called up. Once your number is called you then proceed to one of the assigned counters to observe while the postal and customs officers open your parcel and check its contents. If there are any issues with the contents you may be asked a few questions, particularly Sri Lankan Customs related questions. When your package is given the all clear, you’ll then be directed to the cashier to pay the nominal post office handling charges and any taxes or duties they may have been levied. The remainder of the process is to await the repacking of your parcel and then you can finally take physical delivery. You eventually get used to the long-winded process, well, it’s either that, or go without your parcels.

From a business perspective, there's definitely some serious business process improvement that could be implemented. Over the years there definitely have been changes to some of the processes and the goal is to go electronic, but it is safe to say, it’s still a slow journey. I also acknowledge there are many local people in gainful employment as a result of all the red tape.

On the positive side, there are examples where red tape exists but occasional short-cuts and special requests have been allowed. The following examples are ones that have really surprised me as they were very unusual and unexpected.

The first example related to my car insurance. On one occasion I needed to change my car insurance policy and as a result there were certain insurance documents that required my signature and a vehicle inspection by my insurance agent. All of this needed to happen by close of business that day. However, for whatever reason, I was stuck in line at the checkout at the supermarket (which happened to be in the same suburb as the insurance office) and time was running short. So I kindly asked my insurance agent if he would come to the supermarket with the documents and at the same time inspect the vehicle in the supermarket’s parking lot. And to my complete surprise, he agreed. He did an inspection of my vehicle in the supermarket parking lot and then brought the policy documents into the supermarket to the checkout line so I could sign them.

Another unusual example relates to personal banking. Having lived in cities where banking has become fully self-service or internet-based banking, and customer service is predominantly contactless, I've been pleasantly surprised by the seemingly higher level of banking customer service in Sri Lanka.

Although there has still been a lot of paperwork and drawn-out general banking processes, the level of service has been higher than I’ve been accustomed to. A few years ago, I needed to make a cash withdrawal on the way to make an urgent cash only payment for goods at a local shop in Colombo. I had been in such a rush that there wasn’t even time to spare to exit my vehicle and physically go into the bank. Somehow, on this particular occasion, I managed to negotiate with the bank for one of the tellers to bring the cash to my car. I literally signed the bank slip from the car and they handed over an envelope of cash. Admittedly, I'm not sure that I would be able to do this again, nor have I tried to. And, it would definitely be an unacceptable banking practice at banks in other countries. But in any event, it makes for a surprising story to share.

The positives and negatives of being mistaken for a tourist

I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything.

― BILL BRYSON

I'm often mistaken for a tourist or traveller. To a local this pretty foreign face equals unlikely or not expected to actually live in Sri Lanka. This can be both a positive or negative thing.

On the positive, it's fairly good because of the warm and welcoming local attitude towards tourists and travellers. And, by nature, most locals are genuinely helpful and hospitable. I've visited remote villages and towns where they probably haven't seen many foreigners, yet they're never paranoid nor unwelcoming. It's the complete opposite and so refreshing. Most visitors are often struck by the generous smiles and open faces around the island.

I know for a fact this is not often the case outside of Sri Lanka. And I also know some of my Sri Lankan friends haven't necessarily been treated that well whilst travelling abroad, especially with increased attacks around the globe and paranoia on the rise. It's embarrassing and troubling the number of times I've stood at one of the counters at immigration or border control in UK and Europe and the US and Canada and listened to my brown-skinned friends being questioned with a not-so-subtle hint of in-hospitality and sometimes fear. So, to be warmly welcomed as a foreigner in Sri Lanka is truly a positive.

However, there are downsides to being a foreigner living in Sri Lanka (and mistaken for a tourist). One of these is what I term the kerching experience. So, what is that you ask? Well, it's my label for what happens when some locals, businesses or government agencies see a tourist and their face lights up because they think they can make some extra cash or charge a little more. Yes, it's also the sound you hear when you open a cash register...kerching!

Dual pricing system

An example of this relates to the problematic dual pricing system that exists, primarily for ticketing or services offered within the tourism industry. Dual pricing exists in countries outside of Sri Lanka too, so it's not unique to this island. What is an issue is how a foreigner with a residence visa or similar is treated within this pricing