Stuck Between Borders

By Muneer Zahid

Just as life got interesting, the bitter truth of change hit him. His life changed without reason, and then he found himself in the land of dreams, where the people are free to dream, where dreams and realities are made. He was quick to find a home, to find solace in his new world, but the act of terror said no, turning his – cattle, ranch to a den of lions. It was he and his family against the world. 9/11 toppled the balance in his life, just when he found a home.
Would going back to the source, the origin, be the perfect solace to his hurt heart? Would the love that was lost in another man's origin be found at his own origin? He was rejected in New York, would it be great at Islamabad? Those were the questions of his heart as he voyaged towards his birth country. No one knows, but one thing was sure; his story never remained the same, he was here, he was there, and he was still stuck between borders.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543957969

Book preview

Living

Prologue

Welcome to America

Change is inevitable, it always happened with everyone, the only difference is the stage of life at which one experiences it. Amir was only 9 years old when his big change came, it hit him like a bomb, straight out of the blue.

We are moving to the United State of America his father said as he had come, running from where he was playing soccer with friends.

His panting heart couldn’t stop nor slow down, it was a shock, one he couldn’t really phantom at the moment. There he was, standing in front of his parents, all sweaty and itchy. He had been playing soccer with his friends, and had rushed in at the call of his mother. Amir stood there blank, not knowing what to say to them, the world seemed to be rotating faster than it was. There was no big deal to what they had said, but Amir would never had expected to hear that, not when he just found his place in his new school, at the peak of his childhood, when the memories he creates at the moment are all that would remain for the longer time.

Amir peered at his mother where she sat, her hands in between her legs as she looked on with compassion her only son. Amir could read her eyes, telling him not to worry, that she would be there for him, that she had no choice, that she couldn’t really tell him the reason behind the move, but that she would be there for him.

Amir had never been outside Pakistan, it was the only country he had known since childhood, he never really left his town, save the days he had gone to shop in the state capital with his mother.

You can go back to your friends his father said.

Mr. Hassan knew his son was sad, he knew he hadn’t expected that, but there was nothing he could do to remedy the situation, they had to leave for the US. Sooner or later, Amir will get used to it. Razia, Amir’s mother wanted to walk up to him, to at least tell him in words that it would be alright, but Fahad Hassan stopped her.

Leave him alone he mouthed as he looked up to his wife, the boy had to become strong in his mind.

The night was a long one for Amir, he couldn’t find sleep, he turned and turned, counted the ceilings and stared long at the stars through the window, but sleep was hard to find. If only his parents knew how pained he was, if only he had spoken out when they passed him the info, maybe they would have changed their minds and considered him, he hated himself for not saying anything, he was sad that he was mute. He didn’t want to leave, but his silence was meaning otherwise.

Just then, Razia came in, opening the door silently, hoping that she didn’t wake him if he was asleep. Amir turned over fast, his back towards her, feigning that he was asleep.

Are you asleep? Razia asked as she switched on the light in the room.

Yes, I’m fast asleep Amir responded

Uhm, I see. But, how will someone who is asleep hear my voice and answer my question? Razia replied, with a smile on her face as she tip-toed to her son.

It’s my spirit that is talking Amir said, smiling where he lay.

Razia sat gently beside her son, tickling him a little.

I guess your spirit shouldn’t feel this, right

Amir turned and moved on the bed, feeling tickly all around his waist.

Stop, stop he said in low tunes, laughing amidst his words.

Shh, dad is sleeping

Amir sat up, looking up to his mum, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in life. In her hijab, with her clean white skin, bearing her pointed nose underneath her full eyes and just above her lush lips. That was his woman goals, he wanted a woman just like his mother when he grows up, but wonders if there would ever be. She was just perfect.

Are you angry at dad? Razia asked, pulling his head into her arms.

No he lied. He felt contempt at what his father had done, taking such decision without even telling him first, but who was he, he had no say in decision making in the family. There was nothing he could say to it; the deed was done.

I know you are sad that we would have to leave for America, but it’s all for the good, I can’t tell you all the details now, but you would surely appreciate it when it’s time.

Amir looked at his mother as she spoke, he couldn’t really relate to what she was saying, but he trusted her. Now, he felt at peace, he had confirmed that she thought of him, that he was considered, but maybe it was truly for his best that he isn’t aware of the real situation.

Ok, when are we leaving?

In two weeks she said.

Amir had a sound sleep that night, he spent the following 14 days fantasizing about the United States, the land of opportunities, the land of dreams. He rounded up things with his friends, sealing knots and putting all things in place. Amir was a small boy, but he had the thinking of a matured person, wild in his imaginations.

His heart raced whenever he thought of the beautiful scenes of America he had seen in movies and on the internet, the beautiful towers of New York, the theme parks, the statue of liberty, the world-esteemed White House. All the beautiful scenes he would see intrigued him, but whenever his mind went to the fact that he would not see his friends, his family, the celebrations and the rich culture and food, his heart sank.

His heart leaped occasionally, unsure of what the world holds for him on the other side, what would the other side of the world look like? How would he live? How would he meet new persons? All these made him anxious.

The 18 hours’ long journey was exhausting, but landing on the Land of opportunities, right on the John F Kennedy turf, right in the heart of New York, was exhilarating. The month of November here was cold.

Get your coats on, the weather outside is at -5°C, good luck in the land of opportunities the Captain said in his last words to the passengers.

Here we are Mr. Hassan said, his hand on the shoulder of his son.

Amir looked at the streets as they stood right in front of the airport exit door, cars moving and stopping in succession, there was a strange sense of order that was innate in persons of this great land. There was no much blaring and everyone seemed to be doing things as gently as possible. People of different races, walking and pulling at their bags, moving in and out of the airport. Amir could see different people, some were whiter than him, others were of pale skin. He was amazed at the tall buildings, the helicopters that hovered in the air, it was a really busy but orderly city, an entirely different world than his town in Pakistan, even the air was different.

Fahad a man called out to Mr. Hassan from an SUV that parked some distance away.

There Fahad pointed and led his family to the car that awaits them.

The two families hugged each other, it been a really long time that Fahad saw his friend, Mr. Ibrahim. Mr. Ibrahim was Fahad’s friend from childhood, they grew up and went to elementary school together, before Mr. Ibrahim and his parents had moved out of the country to the states.

The journey to the home of the family friends was amazing, Amir looking out through the window. People dressed in cardigans and mufflers curled around their necks. It was a culture shock; no one was in hijab like his mother.

The breeze was different; the atmosphere was neater. There was no sound, but Amir could hear the air singing to him, Welcome to America

Chapter 1

The change he never wanted, but needed

The night was pretty cold, but the warmth that radiate the house was enough to strike out every form of cold that might want to permeate Amir’s duvet. It was pretty cool than he had imagined, it was a sound sleep he had. The house the Hassans had stayed in, was large, with big verandahs and a beautiful yard. The interior of the house was unlike anything Amir had ever seen, it was like heaven on earth in America. Amir got his own room, a big, spacious and arranged one at that, there was no doubting the fact that he felt like a king on the bed, it was the largest bed he had slept since he was born.

Mum said you should wake up Saad, the son of Mr. Ibrahim, Fahad’s friend said as he tapped Amir by the leg.

Saad was about Amir’s age, 10 years of age, a very smart kid in 3rd grade. Amir yawned loudly as he turned in bed, stopping abruptly as he was captivated by the smile of the boy. The boy had the nicest smile, Amir liked him instantly.

Good morning Amir said, with his typical Pakistani accent, it would take time before he mastered the American way.

Good morning you. Hope you feel good Saad greeted as he walked towards the door.

Yeah, I think so. Where is my mama? Amir asked

She is awake, with my mum in the kitchen

It was just like his mother; she wouldn’t want any person to handle it all in the kitchen. Amir plodded to the kitchen, his eyes heavy with bags under his eyes. The kitchen was pitched with a strange aroma, one like he never perceived. He wondered if his mother knew what she was doing.

Good morning Amir Mrs. Ibrahim greeted first.

Good morning ma’am Amir greeted, nodding as he did.

Mrs. Ibrahim looked at him and smiled, wondering why he had nodded in greeting. He would get used to it. This is America, he had to forget all he knew in Pakistan to survive.

Morning son Razia greeted.

Morning mama he hugged his mother as she placed a kiss on his head.

The fear that sat on Amir’s mind when he woke up was totally gone, he felt at home, his mother was there, and the smiles from the Ibrahim said a lot, that he was welcome. His mind felt at peace, his family was here, he was home even if the house was different, in a new country.

Will you have some chips? Mrs. Ibrahim asked Amir, pointing a bowl of chips at him.

He was hesitant, peering over at his mother first, picking only a couple chips after his mother smiled with a nod.

I guess you wouldn’t take it if mum didn’t nod at you, right? Mrs. Ibrahim mocked the boy

He’s just going by the rules Razia defended her son

That’s nice. Let see how long he goes by the rules here Mrs. Ibrahim said with a smirk

There was a brief silence in the room, Razia and her son knew what she talked about, this is America, where an average teen and youth is a gangster, going against, breaking and bending the rules. Amir was certain of himself, he would never change, not for anything. He knew much about the American culture and its way of life, and he had resolved before he took flight to the country to keep being chaste and maintain who he was.

Go get yourself cleaned up, breakfast would soon be served Razia said

Amir rushed back up the stairs, he was famished and needed to eat something as soon as possible. The women rounded up in the kitchen and served the tables. The aroma of the food was really nice, the expertise of two women, all in one plate.