The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

By Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for the mind, The Courage to Be Disliked is the Japanese phenomenon that shows you how to free yourself from the shackles of past experiences and others’ expectations to achieve real happiness.

The Courage to Be Disliked, already an enormous bestseller in Asia with more than 3.5 million copies sold, demonstrates how to unlock the power within yourself to be the person you truly want to be.

Using the theories of Alfred Adler, one of the three giants of twentieth century psychology, this book follows an illuminating conversation between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher explains to his pupil how each of us is able to determine our own life, free from the shackles of past experiences, doubts, and the expectations of others. It’s a way of thinking that is deeply liberating, allowing us to develop the courage to change, and to ignore the limitations that we and those around us have placed on ourselves. The result is a book that is both highly accessible and profound in its importance. Millions have already read and benefitted from its wisdom.

This is a truly special book in the vein of Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up but for the mind. Those ready to embrace the insights and liberation promised by The Courage to Be Disliked will come to a deeper understanding of themselves and others, and find the inspiration to take the reins of their own life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Release date: Jan 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982107079

Ichiro Kishimi

Ichiro Kishimi was born in Kyoto, where he currently resides. He writes and lectures on Adlerian psychology and provides counseling for youths in psychiatric clinics as a certified counselor and consultant for the Japanese Society of Adlerian Psychology. He is the translator, into Japanese, of selected writings by Alfred Adler—The Science of Living and Problems of Neurosis—and he is the author of Introduction to Adlerian Psychology, in addition to numerous other books.

Reviews for The Courage to Be Disliked

[soylentgreen23 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

First, an admission: I bought this book as a joke, not seriously intending to read it. 'The Courage to be Disliked'? Crazy. But then I actually started reading it, and within pages I was hooked.Like almost everyone I can think of, I am familiar with the name Sigmund Freud, and of his impact on the world of psychiatry and psychology. His theory that all present problems can be traced back to a root cause is compelling and clearly understandable.But most importantly, it might very well be wrong.In this fascinating book, Kishimi introduces the reader to the work and philosophy of Freud's contemporary, Alfred Adler. He turned Freud's logic on its head, suggesting instead that we use our current state as an excuse not to change. For example, somebody who is depressed might say that they are depressed as a result of a failed marriage, or that they were never loved as children. But this way of looking at things will simply prevent positive change from happening: you cannot change the past, and therefore the future is already written for you. Adler instead said that a depressed person is using their depression as an excuse not to be depressed - or in other words, there are benefits to the depression that outweigh fighting against it.At first, this sounds quite ridiculous, not to mention downright insensitive. But as you probe the argument, you find that it is rather more sensible than it first seemed: a depressed person does not have to take risks, such as trying to go out and find somebody to date. If you try asking somebody out, you can easily be rejected, and that causes pain; but if you say you are too depressed to even attempt change, you are protected against the risk.The courage spoken of in the title of this book then is not so much that you go out of your way to be disliked, but that you come to an understanding of who's task it is to do the disliking. You cannot make people like you - you can only live in such a way that being liked or disliked matters little to you and your sense of self.This was the first time I read the name Adler; I doubt it will be the last. My curiosity has been piqued, and I want to know more, for here I seem to have found an approach to living my life that I can really get onboard with.

[keith418-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Excellent and timely introduction to the work of Adler.

[Guerline · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Really interesting book. An interesting way of writing an introduction to Adler's psychology

[jscape2000 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Written in the stilted "dialogue" meant to emulate Plato, long passages of this book felt interminable as the wise teacher batted aside straw men of ego, fame and honor. Still, the underlying idea that our freedom to be ourselves lies in our ability to seek our value through duty to others while also accepting that we can not work to please others is a compelling one for me. I'd say skip this short book unless they come out with an abridged version.

[rajivc_18 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is an interesting book and throws up many challenges to our way of thinking. It addresses our self-concepts and asks us to reassess the way we go about our lives. I am not familiar with Adlerian philosophy, so I must take the author's word and interpretation. He used the Platonic tool, of a dialogue, effectively. The book started well, but as it progressed, I felt that much of the material was tautological. This diminished the value I would have otherwise gotten from the book.