Becoming Visible: Letting Go of the Things that Hide Your True Beauty

By Sue McGray

Fear.  Insecurity.  Low self-esteem.  Regret. These things leave people feeling invisible to the people around them. Many people hide their true self  for fear of what others will think of them. They try to be picture-perfect when people look at them, but inside they feel lonely and invisible. In Becoming Visible,  Sue McGray gives readers the courage to step out of their personal prisons and fully embrace and love themselves. Readers will learn the success principles and life lessons that helped a woman who was so shy and insecure that she was afraid to call a stranger to order pizza, become a National Sales Director for one of America's most trusted and beloved cosmetics companies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HigherLife Publishing
• Release date: Sep 10, 2012
• ISBN: 9781935245926

Sue McGray

Sue Z. McGray struggled to overcome tragedy and low self-esteem. Growing personally and professionally, Sue became an entrepreneur, successfully running her own business for thirty-seven years. She became the National Sales Director of Mary Kay. Since achieving her goals, Sue dedicated her life to mentoring women. Sue's warm and compassionate style challenges and inspires them. She is a trainer, writer, and motivational speaker, teaching women to be all they can be with God as their partner.

Book preview

EPILOGUE

Introduction

Do you have a dream that you imagine yourself achieving? A dream is a goal that is created within the heart. A dream is something you love and imagine yourself accomplishing despite all the odds and impossibilities, whether real or imagined. Sometimes our largest dreams can get away from us and months, or even years, slip by and we wonder if that dream will ever materialize. Unexpected setbacks can tempt us to lay down our dream for an entirely different lifestyle, one that makes us feel unfulfilled or even invisible to the people around us. Internally, we can convince ourselves that we are too young, too old, too unattractive, uneducated, inexperienced, or dozens of other things, to dare to dream. If you can identify with any of these struggles, then you’ve picked up the right book.

My dream was to reach the highest pinnacle of the independent sales force of Mary Kay, Inc. However, I believed that I was the least likely to succeed and that my dream was too far out of reach. As a young woman, I became a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant with the goal of earning a hundred dollars a week to help make ends meet. At the time, I didn’t even know how to wear makeup, I didn’t own a car, had no professional clothes, and no money for extras. I got weak in the knees and red in the face when talking with anyone. Just dialing the phone to reach prospective clients made me so nervous that perspiration literally dripped off my elbows! My initial make-up parties were disasters, but through those failures—and many others—I learned the importance of getting up one more time than I fell down.

Throughout this book, I will share the success principles and life lessons that changed the way I thought and lived. I’ll reveal some important lessons Mary Kay Ash taught me about life as well as business. I started my business as a young mother to help make ends meet. Soon, I made enough to buy my own car and still contribute to the household bills. Over the years, I earned enough to build my own house and earned the use of fifteen career cars. But my motivation for writing this book is not to highlight what I earned, but what I learned. In many ways, one of my favorite songs, It’s Not Where You Start, It’s Where You Finish, epitomizes my life story.

In fact, I never thought I’d write a book. I’ve always been a rather private person. Even some of my closest friends have been frustrated at times because they found it difficult to know the real me.

Throughout my life, I’ve carefully placed my secrets in boxes and locked them in a safe place. No one was allowed to see inside my boxes. There are rows and rows of old dusty boxes stacked to the ceiling. Each box contains a part of my life, secrets that were only mine. I carefully tied each box with a string and marked each do not open on the top.

My original motive for writing this book was for my five granddaughters. They call me Granny Sue, and we’ve played dress-up and make believe from the time they could walk. They know me today, but they don’t know the contents of my boxes.

For over thirty-seven years, I’ve worked with women and I’ve seen in their eyes some of the same fears that caused me to lock down my feelings and squash my dream. By allowing you to peek into my boxes, I trust that you will be encouraged and motivated to become more than you ever thought you could.

When you finish the last page, I want you to walk toward your dream and say with confidence, I can do it, too.

Chapter

ONE

It’s Not Where You Start

What is your dream? If you are able to answer that question within a minute or two, you’re able to visualize your dream for your future. In life, 60 percent of people are dream breakers, 30 percent are dreamers, and only 10 percent are dream makers.

We are more likely to reach our dreams if we spend time with the dream makers and share our dream only with those who believe in us. We need to guard our dream from people who can’t or won’t support or encourage us. I believe that if you know someone will rain on your parade, don’t take your parade past that person!

If you know someone who will rain on your parade, don’t take your parade past that person!

One of the dream breakers in our lives may not be another person who rains on our parade. It may be ourselves. It’s possible to hinder our dream when we can’t see ourselves as successful or are unable to come to terms with our past. Your past may be good, bad, or a sprinkle of both. Regardless, we can pick up attitudes and habitual thinking that is not healthy for dream-making.

Too many times, we find ourselves doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. Sometimes we fall into self-defeating habits and patterns, and before long we come to believe (the lie) that we have no choice other than to go on living that way. For years, I was driven by emotions that I didn’t fully understand. I didn’t trust my own instinct and didn’t feel comfortable expressing how I felt. I’d find myself trying to please everyone else around me because I was afraid I’d be rejected if I didn’t please others. Talk about lack of self-esteem!

You may have guessed by now that I’ve dealt with some negative thinking. It’s true. Chances are, we all need a little tune-up in our thought processes and attitudes. Negative thinking can rob us of success!

A lot of people let the past control their actions for today because they can’t envision any other way to live. If you grow up believing that something abnormal is normal, for you it becomes normal. If you believe something false is true, for you it becomes true. That belief can consciously or subconsciously affect how you live, act, and view the world.

If you believe something false is true, for you it becomes true.

Letting Go of the Poverty Mentality

I grew up in Leoni, Tennessee, a relatively poor but picturesque farming community in the middle part of the state, a rural, agrarian society. When young people reached adulthood, it was not unusual for the men to become farmers and the women to get married and start a family.

It was a time and place when a lot of friendships and social events revolved around country churches. My parents were both from nearby rural communities and started their young adulthood during the depression.

Like the spouses in many good marriages, my parents had polar-opposite personalities. Dad was outgoing with a positive the glass-is-half-full spirit, while Mom was quiet and reserved and usually saw the glass as half empty. She viewed her role in life as that of an unassuming homemaker and supportive wife.

With eight people in the household, our family was large by today’s standards. Ed and Jerry were my two older brothers. I came next, followed by my two younger sisters, Jane and Dessie Ann, and finally, my younger brother, Jimmy. We were taught to respect others and live by the Golden Rule—do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Mom and Dad raised us during times when struggling was a normal way of life. Poverty was considered a virtue and, for much of my early life, I truly believed I could not be godly and financially successful at the same time.

In keeping with her frugal nature, Mom sewed many of our clothes and took hand-me-downs. I learned to sew and made my clothes as well as those of my younger sister, Dessie Ann. From an early age, I observed how my friends dressed and learned how to make the most of what I had. But somehow, I never felt that I measured up to the styles of my peers.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that poverty mentality became a stronghold in my viewpoint on life. I had to reshape what I call my deserve level. As an adult, I know that the more I have, the more I can give to others.

It’s critical that we have a deserve level to reach our dreams. If we don’t have a positive deserve level, one of two things will happen:

We’ll never reach our dream.

Or, if we do reach a level of success, we’ll somehow find a way to sabotage ourselves.

As an adult, I now know that the capacity to receive is determined by what we believe we are worthy to receive. How do I picture myself now as an adult? How do I see myself? What I believe I am worthy of is determined by the picture that I have of myself. What we see is what we get.

Remember the Good

Whether you lived in poverty or wealth, sickness or health, your childhood likely had some good aspects that you will want to hang onto. Think about the good experiences or the good people you met in your past and be thankful for them. Just remember that you don’t need to give up your dreams to please those people!

Despite our low income, my parents were very hospitable to strangers, and it was not unusual to find a traveler sleeping in the hay loft in our barn. My Mom, Prudie, was a typical country preacher’s wife who raised her children with strong Christian values. Dad always referred to her as the sweetest woman in the world to me, and they were practically inseparable throughout their sixty-four-year marriage. My parents modeled their love for each other every day of their lives.

My parents’ love for God impacted me greatly and in a good way. As a child, I was given a wonderful foundation in biblical faith and decided to become a Christian during a revival meeting that I attended in my youth. Of course, faith has this enormous potential for growth, and it really wasn’t until I was an adult that I understood the deeper meaning of the Christian life.

The lessons I learned from Dad’s daily walk through life formed the foundation for who I became. He loved people unconditionally. He was honest, hardworking, and committed to providing for his family. He was not afraid to step out with an entrepreneurial boldness even though many of his business ventures were less than successful.

Ironically, many years after I reached adulthood, I was struck with the similarities between how Dad encouraged and interacted with people and the way Mary Kay Ash lifted people up and encouraged them.

Getting in Touch with My Dream

Think back for a moment. Did you have a dream place as a child?

Until I was eight, we lived in a house that had belonged to my grandparents. In those days, many homes were shared by two generations, and sometimes three. When I was by myself, a favorite pasttime was exploring the boundless nature that surrounded me. On lazy summer days, I frequently found myself lying on the front lawn, on my back, staring up at the clouds and imagining traveling to far away and exotic places. I thought about what life might be living in a large city. I dreamed of someday living in a beautiful home and experiencing an exciting life. That was my dream place.

Do you remember a place you liked to go to be alone and think or dream? Now is a good time to get in touch with

Reviews for Becoming Visible

[cherylcope_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is about one woman’s story and every woman’s story at the same time. If you, as a woman, cannot relate to everything in this book, I know you have a sister, a friend, a co-worker or neighbor who can. There is a part in here for every woman or every woman’s friend.The story has two main themes—her co-dependent and abusive first marriage and her success in Mary Kay. Within the second theme she shares real business success tips that she learned even through hard times in her life where God was forming her into a leader.Some things made me cry because, well, let’s just say that they struck a strong chord in me. Have some tissues handy just in case.Throughout this book the author is authentic and transparent and real, refreshingly real. There are also no platitudes or theories here but real life experience and real life wisdom. Overall I enjoyed reading this book very much and I’m sure most women would too.To get you own copy of this book go here:Becoming Visible: Letting Go of the Things that Hide Your True Beauty Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author herself. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16CFR, Part 225:”Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”