How to Win Friends and Influence People

By Dale Carnegie

Teaching you how to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking, and how to change people without arousing resentment, Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the most groundbreaking and bestselling self-help tomes of all time. The time-tested advice that has carried millions of people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives is a must-read for the twenty-first century.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Nov 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780735253513

Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) described himself as a “simple country boy” from Missouri but was also a pioneer of the self-improvement genre. Since the 1936 publication of his first book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he has touched millions of readers and his classic works continue to impact lives to this day. Visit DaleCarnegie.com for more information.

Reviews for How to Win Friends and Influence People

[gra29_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The techniques appear simplistic. I have used them with success. One must remeber to find the middle ground so that it does appear insincere.

[dst2diva_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Excellent book when you want to deal with people on a regular basis. I have used some of the tips in my every day life and they work like a charm. Especially the speaking to everyone advice!

[kikiunhinged · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I have this audio book and yes, you CAN have the jobs you want!

[6boysandme · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is filled with timeless principles for interacting with people in every aspect of life. Kyle and I spent a year reading and discussing a chapter each week. My only concern was that following this without kindness and feeling behind it turns you into a manipulative "salesman" type that lacks genuine feeling.

[hermit_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Written for a 1930's American audience we get to read what is basically Mr. Carnegie memoir of his personal journey as he matured in his business life. This work that has stood the test of time well. Mr. Carnegie believed in becoming a better person, or perhaps businessman, and felt in order to do so one should follow the lessons he learned and presents in this book. Regardless of what you read in this book I feel that in the long run it is always the people with integrity and are principled that will have the best long term interpersonal experiences. Basically the book is written with a few principles about handling people by avoiding the negative and unpleasant, appreciating the other person, and making the other person eager to accomplish some goal of their own. Mr. Carnegie felt that if you provide positive feedback to the person that person will respond positively to you. His manipulative component is to then help the other person to link what you want to share with them with something they want. Because of this manipulative aspect you can see this is in fact a book on management and sales. This a must read for all who work in sales or management; the original targeted audience.

[gpaisley_2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of the best books you will ever read. Everyone can benefit from this classic. Emminently readable. Recommended to everyone who can read. Just finished my fifth read of it and am re-impsired to live more carefully as I interact with people.

[soylentgreen23 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

My first impression upon finishing this book? That it now - to me at least - seems so redundant. I have been on a few training courses for salesmanship over the years, and it is amazing how much each one references Carnegie's work (though without supplying the credit).Also, one wonders how big an influence Carnegie's writing style has had on others in the field, such as Malcolm Gladwell. Carnegie repeats statements for effect - a hangover of public speaking, surely - and echoes his most critical points throughout the book. As a discerning reader, this strikes me as just a little patronising, and I felt precisely the same way when reading Gladwell.For all that, though, this is a quite amazing book - more amazing when it was written, but groundbreaking for certain.

[brianinbuffalo · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A treasure trove of helpful advice for helping people to achieve success.

[aegossman · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow. You might feel silly reading a book called "How to win friends..." but wow. wow.

[jpsnow · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I can see why this has remained such a timeless classic in everything from business to sales. The concepts are all rather simple, but the author, through each revision, manages to present such a crackling, quick moving lesson that one if forced to agree and attempt to change accordingly. I read this again in conjunction with the Carnegie Immersion course. Anyone would benefit from both. There are a lot of fine take-aways I could cite here but the main point is probably to practice it.

[bkinetic_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book has become more pertinent than ever. In a culture of increasing incivility it is good to have a wise and benevolent voice setting forth principles of personal respect and practical courtesy. Although there are a few devices Carnegie suggests using, he also tells the reader to be genuinely interested in other people, to provide honest appreciation, to practice sincere friendliness and also to do tough things like readily admit mistakes. Read the book Carnegie wrote, not the one he is often presumed to have written.

[javierriestra · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Awesome book with simple advices for human behaviour and sales. I've read it 3 times and goes on.

[tony_landis_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great tips, will reread to review. A bit repetitious toward the end but the first half is solid.

[schmerguls · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I thought I got some good out of reading this. I was just starting college and was probably not very secure socially, and I learned some simple things from this book

[mark_oszoli · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Dynamite! Fantastic! First-class book. Amazing how long ago it was published yet the principles in it are still effective today. I would definitely be getting my son to read this book when he is a teenager. The values Carnegie shares in his book is perfect to install in our young people. One of my favourite passages in his book, "Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it."

[madepercy-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

It is hard not to like this book. I have read this a few times before and re-read it as I thought I should revisit some of the classics in leadership. I was surprised to find, with the benefit of education, that Carnegie touches upon many of the known leadership theories without ever explicitly stating so- which of course was his aim in making practical skills available to the lay person more or less immediately. I was a little disappointed that this was not the original edition, even though that is what I thought I was purchasing. Some of the examples have been updated and include what appear to be 1950s events and technologies. Not that this takes away from the central purpose of the book, but I do enjoy re-discovering events of the past through such reading. Alas, I will have to search for the first edition some more. But it does prove my point: a good deal of contemporary knowledge is simply re-packaged in more academic language and using more up-to-date examples. Yet the style stems from what Hilkey (1997) refers to as the "Gilded Age", beginning in the 1870s in the United States and developing elsewhere through Arnold Bennett (1911) and then, in my view at least, into the Carnegie format that is still adopted by authors such as Ryan Holiday today. While Benjamin Franklin's Autobiography might qualify, I tend to agree with Hilkey's thesis about the cultural elements of the success manual genre and have found interesting parallels with the philosophical works of J.S. Mill and James Fitzjames Stephen with the rise of the market economy. Still worth a read, still one of the best, but my personal experiences suggest that the leadership theories that have been developed since Carnegie, particular Fiedler's contingency theory and the work of Hersey and Blanchard, bring in the environmental factors that Carnegie's work, like many other works of the time, tend to ignore.

[melydia_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

In general, I do not read self-help books. I find them preachy and uninspiring. This book, however, was highly recommended by a blogger whose post convinced me to give it a shot. I'm glad I did. Though the principles are probably common sense (motivate through praise rather than criticism, listen without interrupting, smile, make the other person feel important, etc.), I believe it did me some good to hear them all laid out in such a straightforward manner. Everybody else on the planet is just as self-absorbed as I am, and they care far more about what they want than what I want. Each chapter began with a principle, described it a little in general, then listed anecdote after anecdote about the principle in action. Most telling to me was the repeated assurance that these techniques only work if the feeling behind them in genuine, not manipulative. People can see through flattery.This book was first published in 1936, and we certainly have not become a more genteel society since then. I wonder what Carnegie would think of the internet and its trolls. For much of the book I could imagine people hearing the advice and thinking, "Yes! This is how other people should treat me!" But of course that's not the point. The point is that if you treat other people this way, you will benefit. Sometimes this will be through convincing people to come around to your way of thinking, but more often just by spreading good will. Had this book been written a few decades later, I'm sure karma would have been mentioned more than once.Though a couple of the techniques described might come off as passive-aggressive today, by and large it's a good resource - a good reminder for how to deal with other people, to give and receive criticism gracefully, and generally improve your attitude. I hereby recommend it to everyone on the planet. In return, I will attempt to practice its principles in my own life more often. I can't promise I'll always be successful - three decades of acerbity do not disappear overnight, after all - but I can try.

[kaz2_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book is the bestseller in many country with How to stop worrying and start living.In this book,it is written relationship with the other people.I think it's useful in every situation.But English level is high with" How to stop worrying and start living" You need to read many times.

[lisaflip · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A little dated but the suggestions are still very applicable in today's world.

[niquetteb · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A very informative collection of common sense and good knowledge that is helpful and virtually a requirement for any profession involving interaction with people.

[dangraham_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a great read and probably a should-read for most professionals.

[victorya_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

a must read for anyone wanting to improve relationships, both for personal and business life.

[stringsn88keys · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In some ways, the material in this book is dated; however, the underlying message is timeless: It's the golden rule--treat others as you would want to be treated.You may want to be less verbose in how you execute the principles presented, but the advice is still sound.

[benuathanasia · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

*snort* Nope. I'm not betraying myself, my interests, and my morals to play this bullshit game. So much of this feels like the art of the con - manipulating people on a baser level in order to further your own interests all under the guise of being "interested" in their personal lives and interests.

[audacity88_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Here is the philosophical idea that underlies How to Win Friends and Influence People:You know, it’s such a peculiar thing--our idea of mankind in general. We all have a sort of vague, glowing picture when we say that, something solemn, big and important. But actually all we know of it is the people we meet in our lifetime. Look at them. Do you know any you’d feel big and solemn about? There’s nothing but housewives haggling at pushcarts, drooling brats who write dirty words on the sidewalks, and drunken debutantes. Or their spiritual equivalent. As a matter of fact, one can feel some respect for people when they suffer. They have a certain dignity. But have you ever looked at them when they’re enjoying themselves? That’s when you see the truth. Look at those who spend the money they’ve slaved for--at amusement parks and side shows. Look at those who’re rich and have the whole world open to them. Observe what they pick out for enjoyment. Watch them in the smarter speak-easies. That’s your mankind in general. I don’t want to touch them.And here is its conclusion, put two different ways:It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.A man’s career concerns all society. The question of where you could be most useful to your fellow men comes first. It’s not what you can get out of society, it’s what you can give.Only the middle quotation is actually from the book. The other two are from The Fountainhead. They are spoken by the character Ellsworth Toohey, and represent Ayn Rand's mockery of the belief that men are creatures whose highest function is to serve other men.Friends cannot be "won", nor people influenced (in anything more than the most shallow ways), by an exploitation of their flaws. Mankind are better than that.

[forevermasterless · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I can't believe how many negative reviews I saw here after reading this--most of them with the same complaints. This book is 'amoral,' 'manipulative,' 'heartless,' etc. Did we read the same book? This is definitely not a book for con men like many seem to think. Since when did trying to sell a product become evil? This book isn't some magic key, it doesn't work on everyone all the time no matter what. But it is a good general guideline to follow, because by doing so you give others what they want, and maybe they'll give you what you want in return. Maybe. Not definitely but maybe. You are simply increasing your chances by giving them small things that everyone wants but are in low supply because nobody else seems to give them.

I guess I'm morally bankrupt as well, because I just don't see the problem. Nowhere is this more evident than the fact that, even knowing everything this book says, I would have no problem if someone used these "tricks" on me, because it's not telling you to do bad things, it's telling you to good things. If someone wants something from me, why shouldn't they be nice to me, make me feel important, encourage me to talk about myself, avoid criticizing me outright, let me save face when I mess up, etc? Why shouldn't they do their best to talk about things in terms of what I want and explaining how helping them will help me? It's not like I can't still say no, but let's be honest, I'm definitely more likely to say yes than if they were "sincere" and "themselves" and didn't do a damn thing to make me feel good.

I don't care how fake these things come across, it would still be better than not doing them, because at least it shows an effort and consideration towards me. It's not just, "listen to what I want and give it to me and we're not even going to pretend that I view you as anything more than a means to an end." Sure, that would be more "real" but it's not more pleasant. There's nothing wrong with pretending. We all know most girls don't really like giving blowjobs, but you still want them to pretend that they love it while it's happening, don't you?

Carnegie feels the same way, clearly, because he offers examples where his principles "worked" on him and he doesn't say it like he was hoodwinked. He counts it as a good thing. Someone did him a favor by treating him this way and he gave more consideration to what they wanted in return than he would someone who didn't do these things, because duh.

That's not manipulation, that's mutual benefit. That's saying, "hey, we both know we're only talking to each other right now because I want to make a business transaction with you, but I took the time to learn who you are as a human being and listen to your accomplishments/problems/interests. I took into consideration what you want and tried to align it as best I could with what I want for our mutual gain. I saw things from your point of view. Wouldn't you rather be in business with someone who can see things from your point of view instead of someone who doesn't even try because it's 'incincere'?"
The answer is a resounding yes.

Haters gonna hate.

[kevlarrelic · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loved it. Fantastic. Really had the ring of truth for me, and I was able to immediately apply the things I learned. And they worked. This book got me started on a self-help book binge that has led me to some interesting discoveries. Read it.

[davehowe-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Smile more. Speak to peoples self interest when trying to persuade. Those 2 reminders alone make it worth the read.

[awdhesh-16 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

According to me, this is this the best book ever written on human relationship and communication skill. I must have read it several times and I always find something interesting every time. It may not appeal to people who are young and yet to see the realities of life, but for those who have flexible and mature mind, this book is not to be missed. However, you must never use the formula of the book because that will not work, if copied. The author provides an alternative thought that should be explored before you decide your action based on impulse or commonsense.

[renardkitsune · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Since I was a kid, my mother has called this "The Book" and believes it is one of the most important works published. I'm not sure I entirely agree with her. Most of the book is testimonials. Every chapter is filled with examples of people implementing Carnegie's ideas and the situation going smoothly. He doesn't have to sell the book to us every other page! It's very repetitive--or else Carnegie wouldn't have a full size book. Also, some of his techniques seem a little...manipulative? I don't believe that someone can have honest and sincere interest in everybody all the time. It would be exhausting. On the other hand, there is something to this book, as it was originally published in the 1930's and is still relevant today. I do think that, taken with a grain of salt, his tenets are not poor advice. We should take a little more time to have sincere interest in people. Trying to honestly see things from the other person's point of view is good practice. I read the book once, wrote down all of his principles on a separate sheet of paper, and plan to review that from time to time as a reminder of what I can do to improve my inter-personal communication skills. But I don't think I will ever read the book again.