Broken Secrets Shattered Lives

By Terri Payne

Sara Waters struggles to keep herself from causing her family members the harm she sees herself doing to them in images. But when Elias Guyton shows up at her house claiming to be her father, Sara is placed in a position where she has no choice but to react to what she sees herself in an image doing to a family member.

Sara’s reaction leads her down a path where her future is uncertain, and evidence reveals Elias may be her father and might have murdered her mother.

Sara refuses to believe that Elias might be her father and that he killed her mother. But when Sara is faced with undeniable facts and Elias is investigated for murder, Sara’s mind could change and Elias might turn out to be innocent.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Terri Payne
• Release date: Sep 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9780999714003

Terri Payne

Terri Payne resides in Milwaukee, Wisconsin with her nine children and her dog. She enjoys writing, visiting casinos, and watching movies. To learn more about her, visit www.T.Payne-com

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

MAXINE WATERS ROLLED FROM ATOP ELIAS GUYTON. She landed on her back against navy blue satin sheets on Elias’s bed. She gazed up at the ceiling fan’s rotating blades. She rolled onto her left side and propped herself on her elbow. She rested her left hand and stared at Elias. He lied on his back in the nude with his hands laced behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles. With her right hand, Maxine reached over and brushed her fingertips across the smooth and hard squares etched in Elias’s midriff.

I know you’ve told me a million times that you won’t tell Sara who I am, but you will reconsider?

Maxine snatched her hand from Elias’s abdomen. She brought herself to an upright position and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Slumping forward, she rested her elbows on her knees and massaged her face with the palms of her hands. Before arriving at his home, she wondered if he would ask her the question he had asked her, but she had hoped he would not ask the question. No, she said. Why did he continue to ask her that question? He knew she had no intentions of telling Sara about him. Maxine looked over at her black scrubs crumpled on a brown leather recliner’s cushion. Her black Nike running shoes were on the floor next to the chair.

Standing, Maxine strolled to the chair. She leaned forward to grab her pants and heard Elias approaching her. He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him. Her shoulders settled against his chest, her buttocks his semi-erection. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the sensation pressed against him caused her. If not for the sexual encounter they had shared, she might not have been as aroused as she was from her body being pressed against his. But since they had just had sex, the estrogen her body had produced during sex caused her to be easily aroused. Let go of me, she said halfheartedly struggling to free herself from his encompassing arms. Elias said, Let’s discuss the matter, Max. Don’t run out on me.

"I’m not running anywhere, and we have nothing to discuss. ‘’We talked about everything we made the agreement.’’

I know things have changed since then, though.

Things have not changed. And if you know the terms, why do you keep asking me to reconsider?

Things have changed, and you haven’t given me the answer I want.

Before Maxine could respond, Elias touched his lips to the nape of her neck. Maxine bit her bottom lip and moaned. Between moans Maxine said I— her voice trailed off, and she gasped as he grinded his erection against her derriere. Elias slid his hand down her stomach to her shaved vulva. He circled her clitoris with the tip of his middle finger. Maxine tilted her head back and dropped her pants onto the chair. She clinched his hand and pressed down hard on her mound. His finger applied pressure to her clitoris.

Between soft kisses he planted on her neck, Elias said, ‘’Tell her who I am, Max, and let’s be a family."

The moist spots his lips made on her shoulders and him grinding on and caressing her had her in a state of ecstasy, one where she would say anything he wanted her to say. She did not want to make a statement she would regret. She tore his arms from her waist and turned to face him. You’re wrong. Nothing has changed, and I won’t give you the answer you want. We’ll never be a family. Bury that hope and stop pestering me for an answer you know you’ll never get. We’ve made a deal. We agreed that if I didn’t have the abortion you would only be able to be a part of Sara’s life up until a certain point. That point has passed. You can’t renege on the deal because you want things to be different. Turning to face the chair, Maxine bent at the waist and retrieved her pants.

What did you expect me to do, let you have the abortion?

"You had to make that decision, not me. And when you did, you did what you thought would be in Sara’s best interest.

Now, you have to deal with the reality of the decision you made."

I won’t be kept out of her life any longer, Max.

Turning to face him and stepping into her pants, Maxine said, I’ve warned you not to ever go near Sara. I told you if you did that I would take her and disappear. You would never see either of us again. Don’t test me. I’ll do it. You know I will. Maxine could not afford for Elias to make contact with Sara. If he did, Maxine would have to make true on the threat she made. That would mean they would be separated forever, and she would not be able to bear being separated from him for the rest of her life. His love sustained her, complemented her, and helped her put in perspective a life she could hardly believe she had been living for the past seventeen years.

As they stood glaring at each other, Elias raked his fingers through his crew cut and said, I won’t go near her. I would never do anything that would cause me to lose you and Sara. You know that, but I can’t take being a part of her life by attending her extracurricular activities, through pictures, and through watching recordings of her. I need to be present in her life so that I can get to know her. I want to be there for her and go places and do things with her. Please give me that chance, Max. Elias sealed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. Elias’s threat had upset Maxine, and she did not want him touching her. She wanted to push him away and leave his room, but the words he had spoken and the look on his face immobilized her. She wished she could give him the chance that he wanted, that he was entitled to, and that he deserved, but twenty years ago Maxine’s mother, Mary, had told Maxine that Maxine’s marriage would not last and that Maxine was not capable of handling the responsibility that came with starting a family. Maxine had tried to prove Mary wrong. I sympathize with you. I really do, but you gave up the chance you wanted when we made the deal. Unable to bear the look on his face any longer, Maxine averted her eyes.

When you told me that you didn’t want to have Sara because she would destroy your marriage and that you didn’t want Alizabeth to have to deal with the ramifications of a divorce, I understood and accepted your reasons for not wanting to start a family with me. And you’re right, I did do what I thought would be in Sara’s best interest. But now that Alizabeth is an adult and has gone off to college, you don’t have to protect her from the ramifications of a divorce any longer and shouldn’t keep holding me to the deal we made.

Elias removed his arms from her wrist and said, I have to go.

Why won’t you tell me what’s really going on, Max?

Maxine ignored his question and said, Alizabeth being an adult and attending college has not changed anything and just because I don’t have to protect Alizabeth any longer, I still have to protect my marriage.

Why are you so concerned about a marriage that should have ended when you caught Oscar in your bed with his secretary seventeen years ago?

Knowing she could not tell him the truth, she said, When I said until death do us part to Oscar, that’s what I meant. It might not mean anything to you, but it does to me.

From the Moment you found him in the bed with his secretary, he has been dead to you and you have been separated from him. You had a brief affair with him to deceive him. But after the affair, you haven’t allowed him to touch you. You don’t even love the guy. So, I can’t understand how those words mean something to you and why you’re letting them stop you from divorcing him and starting a family with me.

We might not be intimate and I might not love him, but we’re married and I’m going to honor my vows. I don’t know why I’m having this conversation with you. I’ve already said what I had to say, and I don’t need to justify it. If you want to see Sara, her game is Wednesday at Lincoln School at noon. Maxine turned and exited Elias’s room. She walked down a short hall. At the end of the hall, Maxine turned left and walked down a shorter hall. The shorter hall led to Elias’s kitchen. Buck, Elias’s black lab, greeted her with tail wagging. Bending at the waist and scratching Buck’s Head, Maxine promised Buck she would take him for a ride next time she visited. Hearing the sound of Elias’s footsteps behind her, Maxine straightened herself, strolled to the door, and exited Elias’s house.

The humid air suffocated her, and by the time she reached her black Chrysler 300, her shirt clung to her back. Maxine opened the driver side door and sat down behind the wheel. She pulled the car door closed and then keyed the ignition. She turned on the air conditioner. As she sat there, she gripped the wheel with both hands and stared at Elias. He stood at a window inside his home staring back at her. She hated having to flee him. Afterward, she always had an unpleasant feeling that irritated her for the rest of the day. Dammit, she said to herself, knowing what the rest of her day would be like. He had to stop insisting she reconsider her position because she did not want to have to keep going through the commotion denying his request caused her or to, in his words, keep running out on him. She wanted to spend her time with him making love and enjoying his company.

Maxine reached down, yanked the gearshift into reverse, and backed out Elias’s driveway. Ramming the gearshift into drive, Maxine sped down the subdivisions winding road. As she near the end of the road, Maxine pumped her cars breaks three times before her car stopped. After looking from left to right, Maxine turned left onto Route-55. She drove behind a flatbed semi-truck. The truck hauled six-foot-long cast iron pipes. Leaning to the side, Maxine examined the road ahead. Oncoming traffic clogging the road, preventing her from passing the truck. Maxine guided the wheel with her right hand and rested her left elbow on the driver’s panel. She leaned her head against her well-manicured hand and pondered how she could stop Elias form asking her the question that had ruined her day.

If she would tell Elias the truth about why she did not want to divorce Oscar to start a family with Elias, she would not have to search for ways to stop Elias from asking her the question that had ruined her day. Although being honest with Elias would be the best solution to Maxine’s problem, she could not tell Elias the truth. He would not understand the importance behind her need to prove Mary wrong and would undoubtedly try to persuade Maxine to think she should not allow her ambition to keep him separated from his daughter.

As Maxine thought about how Elias would try to persuade her not to allow her ambition to prove her mother wrong to keep him separated from Sara, the words Mary had spoken to Maxine twenty years earlier echoed in Maxine’s mind.

You’re making a foolish mistake. You can’t handle the responsibility that comes with starting a family, and you’ll fail miserably if you try. And that two- bit womanizer Oscar, well, we both know your marriage to him won’t last. He’ll break your heart. You’ll divorce him an end up raising whatever children you have on your own.

Maxine shook her head to silence her thoughts. Mary never had confidence in Maxine. Whenever Maxine wanted to do something, Mary had told Maxine that Maxine locked the capability to do what Maxine wanted to do and would fail. Maxine believed her father forcing Mary to quit college to raise Maxine had generated the resentment that led Mary to belittle Maxine.

Despite being denigrated, Maxine had always believed in herself. Believing in herself had given her confidence to believe she could be successful at whatever she chooses to do. She had always believed she could be successful at handling the responsibility that came with starting a family and had been: Alizabeth had turned out to be a fine woman, and she would be graduating college soon. Sara would be finishing high school in a few years. And after Sara finished high school, she would be attending college.

Mary may have been wrong about Maxine handling the responsibility that came with starting a family, but had Marry been wrong about Oscar braking Maxine’s heart and Maxine’s marriage to Oscar not lasting? Yes. Oscar had hurt Maxine not broke her heart. There was a difference, one Maxine could not explain. Maxine also had not divorced Oscar and ended up rising Alizabeth alone. Why? had Maxine not divorced Oscar and ended up raising Alizabeth alone? The reason was irrelevant.

Maxine tried to pass the semi. She switched lanes and mashed the car’s accelerator. The car’s engine roared, and the car shot fast forward. A red Ford F-150 truck rounded the bend in the road ahead. Maxine eased off the gas and guided her car back behind the semi. The truck in the oncoming lane was driving too fast, and Maxine would not have been able to pass the semi before the truck reached her. Since her brakes we’re not operating to their full capacity, Maxine allowed the semi to develop a lead.

As Maxine drove, she thought about how much she hated Oscar for the game she had to play with herself. She told herself that the reason she had not divorced Oscar and ended up raising Alizabeth alone did not matter, but the reason did matter. Thinking about how she had to lie to deceive herself roused her anger toward Oscar. Why could he not have been clever, she thought. Maxine would rather not have known about Oscar’s affair than to be living the lie she had been living. Despite hating having to live the lie she had been living, Maxine was thankful she had discovered Oscar’s affair because catching Oscar in the bed with his Secretary had caused Maxine to flee her home and go to the Village Inn restaurant where she had met Elias.

When Maxine had first met Elias, she had not expected to fall in love with him. But after developing a relationship with him over the phone, she had opened up to him. Opening up to him had caused her to develop feelings for him. Her feelings for him had overpowered her judgement, and she had found herself making love to Elias, Maxine had fallen in love with him. And from that Moment on, she had loved Elias.

Maxine’s phone buzzed. She guided the wheel with her left hand and reached into her purse to retrieve her phone. As soon as she touched the phone, the phone stopped whirring. Maxine pressed her thumb against the side of her phone and flipped up the phone’s receiver. The number and word 25 messages appeared on a pixel. Maxine pressed 311, the speed-dial number to her home’s phone. Maxine put her phone receiver to her ear, and Sara answered on the first ring.

Mom

Yes

I’m so glad to hear your voice. When you didn’t come home on time this morning or return my calls, I got worried something bad might have happened to you. Why would you think something bad might have happened to me?

Sara did not respond. Sara, honey, is everything ok? She watched the metal-green bridge erected over the Kankakee River come into view.

Yes. I was just worried. Why didn’t you return my calls?

I wasn’t aware you had called.

The reason Maxine was not aware Sara had called was that Maxine had refused to stop making love to Elias long enough to answer her phone.

Where are you?

I’m in a meeting.

When you didn’t answer your phone, I called the hospital. Dr. Bilka said you left the hospital at 8:00.

I never left the hospital. After the meeting, I had breakfast with Debbie in the cafeteria.

It’s almost noon. You’ve been in the cafeteria since this morning?

After I had breakfast with Debbie, I went and had my breaks repaired. Why are you questioning me?

I was just worried. Are you on your way home?

Yes. I - A doe leaped from marsh flanking the road. To avoid hitting the doe, the semi swerved. The pipes tumbled from the semi’s bed onto the road.

Maxine dropped her phone and gripped the wheel with both hands. She zigzagged between lanes to dodge the pipes rolling across the road.

In the oncoming lane, a white van rapidly approached.

Maxine dodged a pipe in the oncoming lane. She mashed the car’s accelerator and switched lanes. As if the man driving the van wanted to talk to

Maxine, the man driving the van stopped the van in the center of the road and rolled down the van’s window. Maxine eased off the gas and stepped on the brake pedal so that she could stop and talk to the man in the van, but the brake pedal sunk to the car’s floorboard. Maxine’s car zoomed past the van.

As her car approached the bridge, Maxine rotated the wheel left to right to try to align her car with the bridge’s narrow opening, and the door on the car’s driver side grinded against the bridge’s left rail. Sparks flew. Maxine cut the wheel to the right to pull the car away from the rail. The car veered to the right and burst through the bridge’s right rail. As the car nosedived off the bridge, Maxine screamed.

CHAPTER 2

SARA STOOD IN THE DOORWAY TO HER HOME WAITING for Oscar to drive into the driveway. Her arms hung at her sides. She held a wireless silver-and –black Panasonic phone receiver in her left hand. She had called Oscar at his car dealership and explained how she had been having a conversation with

Maxine when Maxine had suddenly screamed, the phone line had gone dead, and Maxine had not answered her phone when Sara had repeatedly called

Maxine. After listening to Sara, Oscar had said he would leave work and return home. Oscar usually made the drive from his dealership to home within forty-five minutes. Sara had called him over forty-five minutes ago, but he still had not arrived home. She had begun to think he had not left his dealership right away. As Sara stood there waiting on Oscar, she watched a tan-and –brown Newton County police car turn into the driveway.

Sara pushed open the storm door and stepped out onto a porch sheltered by a portico. As Sara watched the police car drive up the driveway, her heart raced, a chilling sensation coursed through her body, and she inadvertently held her breath. All sound faded except the crushing gravel beneath the car’s weight. The car stopped. An officer stepped out, donned a brown brimmed hat that matched his uniform, and slammed the car’s door.

As the officer approached Sara, he smiled, nodded his head at her, and said, Mornin’. I’m Officer Jenkins. Is there an adult home I can speak to?"

Sara stood motionless starting at officer Jenkins and wondering did he want to talk to an adult because a neighbor had reported seeing her use her father’s riding lawn mower to push her mother’s riding lawn mower into a ditch. Searching her face with is eyes, Officer Jenkins said, Is everything ok?

Yes. I – my Dad –, she wanted to tell officer Jenkins that she had called her father at work and explained what had occurred while she had been on the phone with her Mom, that Oscar had said he would come home over forty-five minutes ago, and that he should be home at any Moment, but her fear that officer Jenkins wanted to talk to an adult so that he could report what Sara had done prevented her from saying what she wanted to say.

Closing her eyes, Sara inhaled through her mouth and exhaled through her nose. Feeling relaxed but still afraid, Sara opened her eyes and had been prepared to say what she wanted to tell him but lost her voice when she saw Oscar’s blue BMW entering the driveway.

Believing she only had Moments before Oscar exited his car and learned what she had done, Sara thought about how she could explain her problem had caused her to do what she had done. If she explained her problem had caused her to do what she had done, she would expose her problem. Sara did not want her problem exposed. Sara believed if she exposed her problem to Oscar he would think she was insane. Sara’s problem caused her to see images of herself harming family members and made her body run out of control, To make the images go away and stop her body from running out of control. Sara had to either do to family members what she saw herself doing to family members in images or do to an object what she saw herself in images doing to family members.

How’s it going, officer? Oscar asked.

Raising his eyebrows, Officer Jenkins said Mr. Waters, I suppose?

Yes Officer Jenkins said, I reckon I might be a bit better if not for the awful news I have to impart. Your wife had a terrible accident. A rig spilled some pipes onto the road on fifty-five near the bridge. Your wife lost control of her car trying to dodge the pipes. She attempted to cross the bridge before regaining complete control of her car. Her car cut through one of the bridges guardrails, and she drove off the bridge. Fortunately, some kids swimming in the river pulled her from the car before her car submerged.

Relieved officer Jenkins had not to come to her home to tell her parents what she had done, Sara relaxed and told herself she should have known he had not come to her home to tell her parents what she had done. When she used her Dad’s mower to push her Mom’s lawn mower into a ditch, the neighbors had been at work and could not have seen what she had done and would not have been able to report what she had done to the police. But when officer Jenkins had asked her was there an adult home he could speak with, Sara had become paranoid and began thinking the worst.

How is she? Oscar asked.

Last I heard, she was in critical condition.

Could Sara have prevented Maxine’s accident? Sara believed she could have had she told Maxine the truth when Maxine asked Sara why Sara would believe something bad might have happened to Maxine.

Where has she been taken? Oscar asked.

St. Mary’s in Crown Point.

Thanks officer.

Officer Jenkins nodded his head and said Just doin’ my duty.

Taking a step toward Sara and extending his arm, Oscar said, give me the Phone, pumpkin. I have to call Dr. Bilka to find out if he knows anything about your Mom.

Taking a backward step, Sara pitched Oscar the phone.

Wait for me in the car, Oscar said.

Sara walked to the car’s passenger door. Standing there, she stared through the window at the leather gray-interior on the passenger seat. If she sat on the seat, germs from the seat would contaminate her body and compromised her immune system. If germs compromised her immune system, she could die.

To prevent compromising her immune system and jeopardize her life, she had to clean the seat before she could sit on the seat. Sara reached for the zipper on a lime-colored fanny pack containing a VO5 hairspray bottle filled with bleach water and a Ziploc bag filled with paper towels. Sara sprayed the bleach water on objects to kill germs on objects and used the paper towel to wipe the bleach water off the objects. But when she had to, Sara used the bleach water and paper towels to clean her body.

As Sara unzipped her pouch to remove the materials, she looked down at the car door’s handle. Before she could open the door to clean the seat, she had to clean the germs off the car door’s handle. But before she could remove the materials from her pouch to clean the handle, Oscar exited the house and strolled the short distance across the lawn to the car.

Ready, Pumpkin?

Yes. But instead of getting into the car, Sara continued staring down at the handle on the car’s door.

Oscar got into the car and reached over to open the passenger door. Looking up at Sara, Oscar said The door is open. Why didn’t you get in?

Zipping the fanny pack, Sara said, I forgot something. Knowing she did not have any time to put on the rubber bodysuit she had constructed to wear under her clothes when she left home, Sara came up with a quick method she hoped would work: she would spray bleach water on her clothes so that when she sat on the seat the bleach water would kill any germs on the seat.

Turning, she raced toward the side of the house. As she ran along the side of the house toward the backyard, she heard Oscar yelling for her to hurry so that they could go to the hospital to see Maxine.

Stopping in the center of her backyard, Sara opened her fanny pack and removed the hair spray bottle. Holding her breath so that she would not inhale fumes from the chlorine, she misted bleach water down the front of her white sweater and matching jogging pants. She pulled her arms, along with the hair spray bottle, through the openings on her sweater’s sleeves, rotated the front of her sweater to the back, and sprayed bleach water on the back of the sweater. After putting her jogging pants through the same process, Sara adjusted her clothes, stashed the hair spray bottled inside her pouch, and waited for the chloride smell to evaporate. As she waited for the smell to evaporate, she had to fight with herself to suppress the requirement to spray her clothes with bleach again. Had her Dad not told her to hurry so that they could drive to the hospital to check on her Mom, Sara would take time to spray her clothes with bleach water again. But since her Dad had told her to hurry so that they could go to the hospital to check on her Mom, Sara could not keep her Dad waiting.

Sara returned to the car and plopped down on the seat and used her right hand, covered by her sweater’s sleeve, to close the car’s door. Sandwiching her hands and wedging them between her thighs, she stared straight ahead trying to avoid thinking about whether the bleach water on her clothes would kill the germs on the seat.

Have you been in the pool? Oscar said. He backed out the driveway.

Putting the car into drive, he drove one mile south to Route 10.

Although Sara tried not to think about whether the bleach water would kill the germs on the seat, she could not help wondering if she had sprayed enough bleach water on her clothes to kill the germs on the seat. Sara began fearing germs from the seat were contaminating her body, compromising her immune system and jeopardizing her life. To reduce her fear, Sara began counting: 100,98,96,94-.

Did you hear me, Pumpkin?

Sara had become so consumed with worrying over whether she had sprayed enough bleach water on her clothes to kill the germs on the seat that she had forgotten Oscar had asked her a question. She would have to stop counting to answer his question. But