Was I a Stranger in My Homeland?: Has One Two Lives?

By Malavi Sivakanesan

Throughout my book I share my thoughts and feelings of growing up in a complex multicultural society as well as my response to cultural and ethnic diversity. Even though I am not a philosopher and have not yet experienced much compared to some I have always pictured my life as a long bumpy drive. We choose our destination and more importantly the path we take. We might encounter misfortunes along the way but our mission should be to get back on our feet and work towards the target we have set for ourselves. As the famous American baseball/ football player Bo Jackson once said, Set your goals high, and dont stop till you get there.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Aug 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483682167

Malavi Sivakanesan

I was born in 1995 at Tromsø, Norway, the daughter of ethnic Tamil parents. I have tried sincerely to describe feelings and opinions of the events that have taken place since I became involved in the struggle for freedom and peace among the Tamils in Sri Lanka. Having visited Tamil Eelam in 2003 at the tender age of 8 with my family I have tried to document as much as possible from that astonishing trip. I would like to share my unforgettable and adventurous experiences with the rest of the world through the eyes of a child- who was born in a foreign country and has a hard time calling it ‘home’. It was fun to be in my ‘homeland’ and I feel it is impossible to experience that again before we get our own country.

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MALAVI SIVAKANESAN

Copyright © 2013 by Malavi Sivakanesan. 307109-SIVA

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013914458

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. Date:08/29/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

0800-056-3182

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

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Contents

Prologue

Section 1

Chapter 1 Mr Prabhakaran – Founder Of The Ltte

Chapter 2 Encounters With A Hero

Chapter 3 Mr Prabhakaran – The Man

Section 2

Chapter 1 Purpose Of The Visit To Tamil Eelam

Chapter 2 Journey Back Home To Tamil Eelam

Chapter 3 Special Occasions

My Life From The Start

Section 3

Chapter 1 Death of the First Tamil Tiger

Chapter 2 Conversation with Sutharsan Anna

Chapter 3 An Exciting Trip with a Tiger Akka

Chapter 4 A Friend’s Experience as a Tiger

Chapter 5 Recollections

Section 4

Chapter 1 The Dilemma

Chapter 2 My Best Friend’s Love Story

Epilogue

Dedication

For the Tamils

who have given fully of themselves

for their freedom in Tamil Eelam.

Acknowledgements

M y parents always said, ‘Behaviour and respect come before studies and status.’ Keeping these words in mind, I would like to thank them for their support and enthusiasm throughout this project.

I’ve got to specially thank my mentor, Holace Ertkjern, who has become a part of my family throughout this process. She is a highly qualified teacher in whom I have been able to confide. I would like to thank her from the bottom of my heart for her encouragement and support.

Thanks also to my grandparents who have been invaluable in many ways, intellectually and spiritually.

Vidar Helgesen, the secretary general at the IDEA (International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance), surprised me with his knowledge and understanding of the conflict in Sri Lanka.

Thanks to Erik Solheim, the then minister of environmental and international development in Norway, for his time.

Last, but not least, I would like to thank my family, cousins, and friends for their invaluable input. If I have inadvertently forgotten to mention anyone, please accept my sincere apologies.

Prologue

18 May 2009

F riends and relatives were gathered anxiously at our house in Bergen, Norway. I could feel the tension seeping into my body from the pressurised atmosphere. We were constantly receiving bad news from various sources. I was running around helplessly, wanting to do something, wanting to make a difference, a change, but what? We all believed that the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) were going to make the next move but a sense of uncertainty still prevailed.

The island of Sri Lanka, the area of Tamil Eelam, where the Tamils resided at this crucial time, was surrounded by the Sri Lankan army. For us in Bergen, it was comforting to be together. Our house was full of restless people, waiting for the final verdict. Some of them looked as if they had lost all hope; others forced themselves to believe that a positive outcome was inevitable. There were only a few technical devices providing media coverage, so when someone sensed a change in the situation in Tamil Eelam, they would announce it aloud, causing commotion all around. The people present in the room made a barrage of phone calls to the multitude of Tamils scattered around the globe. The whole situation was complicated and out of our control. Media was unreliable and often the news broadcast was contradictory. All the noise and confusion jarred in my ears.

I constantly asked my father to update me on the news, since my own laptop was being passed around the house from one person to the other. There were a lot of young children also present, who were totally oblivious to the seriousness of our plight. Most of them were engaged in watching movies or attempting to attract their parents’ attention. The older children, however, were struck by a sense of despair and hopelessness.

I felt as if I had let down the Tamils who were living in Tamil Eelam. I should have done something. I should have put more pressure on the Norwegian government. Why didn’t I? Why did the civilian population in Tamil Eelam have to suffer? What had the Tamil children done to deserve this? These were some of the questions that haunted me.

I sat down to watch the news on television when, on the screen, I caught a glimpse of a dead body lying on the ground, covered in dirt. I could not exactly figure out who it was since I was at the far end of the room. I listened to the report. ‘Late today, Sri Lankan special forces ambushed and killed the leader of the Tamil Tigers, Velupillai Prabhakaran. If true, his death adds emphasis to the end of the Tamils’ twenty-six-year bid for an independent ethnic homeland in the north of the island nation. . .’ Momentarily, everything came to a standstill. Each second indicated by the hand on the clock placed above the TV set was slow and deliberate. I got up slowly from my chair as someone came close to the TV, turning up the volume on the set and jolting me awake. There was pin drop silence in the room while everyone just started dumbfounded at the screen. Then all at once, the silence was broken – telephones began ringing non-stop, and all panic broke loose. I found myself mixed up in the chaos that ensued.

After a while, I looked around at the familiar faces of family, relatives, and friends in the room. It was quieter; there were no longer heated discussions and arguments, only disheartened whispers circled the room. The talk was about the authenticity of the news regarding Mr Prabhakaran’s death. For until that moment, he was the uniting factor amongst the Tamils. Now everything that he had stood for seemed to have crumbled. People were shattered at the news of his brutal killing. They eventually found excuses to help cope with the situation.

I tried to convince myself that our leader was not dead and that the video being shown was fabricated. It was unfair that someone so precious to us, who fought for justice, had lost his life in the pursuit of this cause.

Section 1

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Chapter 1

MR PRABHAKARAN – FOUNDER OF THE LTTE

S ome time ago, I was at school, doing some research on terrorism. I found a book, in the children’s section of the library, called Terrorism by Adam Hibbert. Opening it, I saw a picture of our leader, Mr Prabhakaran, together with a picture of the LTTE flag on the very first page. My curiosity was aroused, and it sparked a desire in me