Yesterday's Shadows

By Barbara Meadows

Catherine Milford is a young woman who attempts to escape the memories of her son's death by moving from her Indiana home and the horse show world that she knows so well, to a completely different life. Three years later, with the invitation to attend her best friend's wedding, she is beckoned to return to the place where her son was killed in a barn fire. Catherine's journey back to the horses and the horse people who had once filled her life is a mixture of joy and sorrow. She must grow in ways that are difficult and painful as she faces the tragedy of her loss when she goes back to the place she and her son had once lived.

Matt Newton is a divorced father, trying to build a new life for himself and his daughter after his wife and he split up. A stranger to the horse world, and connected to Catherine Milford only by an introduction from their mutual friend, Matt must eventually decide how he can open his heart to a future different from the one he had planned on.

These two people face the challenge of overcoming ghosts from their previous lives. Abbey Newton, Matt's nine year old daughter, plays a big part in the chain of events that brings them to the conclusion of the book, where some choices end up being made for them all.

From the farm country of northeastern Indiana to a show ring in Devon, Pennsylvania, this story is about love and loss, friendship and devotion, and the incredible bond between riders and their horses that can be, at times, magical.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 19, 2001
• ISBN: 9781462834501

Barbara Meadows

Barbara Meadows took her first horseback riding lesson at the age of ten in a small town in Northern Germany, where the military had stationed her father and his family. From there sprang the passion for horses that has filled her life for close to 40 years. When her father retired near Annapolis, Maryland, Barbara rode and showed horses in the Maryland/Virginia area for most of her adult life, competing in the hunter, jumper, and combined training arenas. She now lives in Northeast Indiana with her husband and two daughters. Her three horses provide ample opportunity to continue riding and showing when she gets the opportunity, and an assortment of other pets keep her company and inspire her to write about the animals that have been, and continue to be, a major part of her life.

Book preview

Yesterday’s

Shadows

Barbara Meadows

Copyright © 2000 by Barbara Meadows.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-7-XLIBRIS

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty One

Twenty Two

Twenty Three

Twenty Four

Twenty Five

Twenty Six

Epilogue

Dedicated to

Dally Up and Sonny Judge,

with whom the dreams began;

to Cash’n’Carry and Ante, Up,

who carried me farther down the road;

to Ty,

who restored my shaken confidences,

and to Mack’s Bragg

and Tom Meadows,

who are patiently taking good care of me

as my dreams now present new challenges.

One

The engine of her aging Ford pick up truck grumbled in loud protest as Catherine Milford downshifted and turned onto the gravel driveway from the road. She gave the faded dashboard a consoling pat.

Come on, Bertha. It’s been a long time but I know you remember the place.

Oak trees that were spindly little saplings when she left three years ago now stood as sturdy young trees arranged behind the blue and red wooden sign which read Best Way Farm in large square letters. Green leaves fluttered in a late evening breeze, creating shadowy patterns on the crushed stone driveway. Catherine looked out over the level, white-fenced pastures on either side of her and followed the landscape with her eyes to the group of buildings drawing closer with every crunch of the truck tires on stone.

Almost there, Bertie, she whispered reverently, as though the truck was listening. Years had passed since she’d driven down that driveway. Nothing looked the same on the outside of the riding complex. The building was a different color and faced south instead of east, with living quarters on the second floor. But Catherine knew all too well that familiar memories would be waiting for her inside of that unfamiliar building.

The driveway opened up into a large marbled stone parking area along the front of the gray indoor riding arena. Cars lined the edges of the lot and several horse trailers were stored towards the back. Catherine pulled into an empty spot and turned off the truck engine. It backfired loudly before finally sputtering out. With a shake of her head, she leaned back and closed her eyes.

Randy’s big gray horse approached the triple bar jump. Catherine held her breath for an instant as he, took off in one smooth leap, forelegs neatly tucked, hind legs swinging slightly to the right to clear the top pole. Randy rode beautifully, hands following the graceful motion of the, horse stretching his neckforward and arcing over the fence, then landing with a thump on the other side.

He s going to win this class! Catherine murmured to Michelle, who stood next to her at the rail.

Only one more, fence, the girl whispered, not taking her eyes from the horse and rider.

The final fence was a formidable, oxer, standing over five, feet high. Randy sat quietly, allowing the big gelding to find his own spot at which to take, off. When he, did, the two of them became one blur of soaring gray horse and red-coated, black-capped young man. The horse landed and the crowd let out a roar for the pair that had just completed the only clean round of the jump off!

He DID it! Catherine screamed, throwing her arms around Michelle as tears of joy spilled from her eyes.

Randy Clark and his horse cantered quietly to the out gate and then exited the show ring followed by wild applause. As Catherine and Michelle pushed their way through the mass of people to reach the horse and rider, the cell phone in Catherine’s pocket screeched its shrill ring.

I bet Dot was watching this on TV, Catherine laughed when she retrieved the phone to answer the call. This is her calling to say how proud she is of her son!

She, pressed the phone to her ear. Hello, this is Catherine.

For a moment there was nothing, and then she heard Dot’s voice sobbing through the phone.

Catherine! You’ve got to get back here! There’s a fire,!

A young girl and her mother stepped from the barn, looking curiously at Catherine as they climbed into a nearby red van. The vehicle had disappeared down the driveway by the time Catherine got out of her truck and walked to the barn with butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

Catherine felt helpless at that horse show—hours from where the barn was burning! Leaving Michelle and Randy to take, care, of the horses, she and Tobi started back to the farm. There was nothing they could do except drive like the wind and keep making calls on the cell phone until the battery was dead. After that, Catherine drove with an urgency that had her breaking every speed limit on the highway home.

By the time, they arrived, the beautiful riding complex had become a smoldering heap. Having done all they could, firemen were piloting the engines down the driveway to leave. There were police cars around and people milling everywhere, and a smell—a smell that Catherine would never forget—of burning wood and metal and flesh.

She, .stumbled from the truck in a state, of shock as she looked around. Dot Clark appeared out of nowhere, her face and clothes blackened with soot, clear gray eyes full of the remnants of the terror she had been through. With a sob the two women embraced.

What happened? Catherine cried.

They think it was an electrical fire,. Dot’s voice broke,. Oh, Catherine, Eddie … he, went back in for Eagle, when no one was looking. He … we lost them both …

A scream started somewhere down in Catherine, ‘s soul and when it ripped from her lips the agonized sound tore, through the early evening air.

NO!! Not Eddie!! NO!!

Suddenly there were people around her, consoling her—faces she knew so well. Yet Eddie’s face was not among them and the others didn’t really matter anymore,. Her beloved son was gone.

Catherine breathed in the aroma of hay and horses as she stepped into the barn. she could hardly remember the last time she had enjoyed that smell. Three horses stood cross tied in different areas along the cement aisle while riders groomed and readied them for an upcoming lesson. From somewhere she heard a familiar voice barking out orders in a firm but lively tone. Recognizing that voice, Catherine smiled.

Little Bit will need splint boots, Liz, and be sure to put the right size girth on him today. You almost lost your saddle last time. Susan, if you don’t watch that mare she’s going to kick somebody! Move her out of the way!

Tobi Ratkins was looking over her shoulder at her students while she walked towards the office. Catherine stood at the door until the blonde haired woman bumped into her. When Tobi’s eyes came to rest on Catherine, she abruptly stopped giving orders and a warm smile spread across her lips.

You ‘re here, she said softly, and the two women hugged for a long moment.

Yep. I’m here, Catherine was still being touched by memories. I told you I’d come. It’s not every day that my old friend finally gets married.

Tobi’s face twisted into a grimace that wrinkled her cheeks. Watch that old stuff. You’re right up there with me, you know.

Catherine smiled mischievously. Yes, I’m quite aware of that.

Tobi turned back to the riders. I want everybody on their horses in the ring warming up in ten minutes. I’ll be right there!

She motioned for Catherine to follow her through a door off the aisle. The tack room they stepped into was clean and roomy, with at least twenty five saddles resting on wall racks on one side of the room and bridles hanging neatly on hooks next to each saddle. A traffic jam of big tack trunks was clustered in the center of the room and a few riders milled around, involved in conversations as they rolled bandages and cleaned tack.

one of you people could start a load of horse laundry for me, Tobi said to no one in particular. Immediately, several hands were throwing saddle pads and schooling bandages into the washing machine that stood under the window.

You still have that commanding air about you, Catherine teased as she walked behind Tobi through the tack room into the office.

Well, somebody’s got to be in charge of this circus!

Pictures of horses and riders in various stages of going over jumps filled the oak panel walls. A sturdy mahogany desk, covered with boxes, papers, and two telephones, was pressed into the corner, surrounded by a standing wooden saddle rack which held several saddles stacked on one another, two briefcases, and two canvas bags full of assorted brushes and carrots. Horse wraps, bandages and saddle pads lay on top of three tack trunks in the middle of the room, and the smell of burned coffee came from a Mister Coffee machine on the credenza along the far wall. Horse show ribbons hung from a wooden shelf adorned with gold and silver trophies above the large glass window that looked out into the indoor arena. It was a professional setting, yet proudly announced that this was a haven for serious horse-loving people.

Sit down if you can find a spot, Tobi dropped into the chair behind her desk. How was your trip?

Not bad. Just got in my truck and drove.

Catherine took a moment to look at her friend. Those robin-egg blue eyes had not changed. Perhaps a few more lines clutched at the corners, but the eyes themselves were as clear and direct as ever. Even a stranger to Tobi Ratkins would see confidence and honesty in those eyes long before Tobi spoke a word. Blonde hair had been pulled back into a long braid which reached her waist. Short pieces of golden locks fluttered around her face, just like Catherine remembered. There was a healthy, weathered look about Tobi. She had spent years of her life outdoors—first working construction with riding as her hobby, then becoming an assistant riding teacher and trainer at a well known show facility in the area. She wasn’t an indoor girl. Her life had been lived with the sun in her face, and the last fifteen years of it with horses either under her or somewhere nearby. Catherine had considered herself lucky when Tobi agreed to come and work with them at Artie’s farm. He wanted the most competent riders and teachers to work for him, and Tobi’s name was definitely on that list. She and Catherine started as co-workers and quickly became friends.

I know it must be hard for you, Tobi said, sitting back in the desk chair as it squeaked irritably, peering at Catherine over steepled fingers. It’s been—

Three years, Catherine finished the sentence. Her weary blue-gray eyes held a gentle beauty in them and a head full of short, naturally curly dark hair framed the softness in her pretty face.

A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about him, she said quietly.

Tobi nodded, although she could not fathom the heartache that had been consuming Catherine for years. To have lost her 13 year old son, her own horse, and ten other horses in a barn fire was more than most people could have tolerated. The losses had driven Catherine away to start a new life. Tobi had not seen her since then, although they kept in touch by phone and letters.

Well, I’m glad you came, she said. And I appreciate all you’re doing to help me out. What do you think of the new barn? It’s different, don’t you think? Artie tried a lot of new ideas when he rebuilt it.

Catherine smiled wearily. It’s not as different as you think. The memories are still here.

A loud cry followed by laughter came from the arena. Tobi looked out the window and saw one of the horses running loose, having bucked off the young girl who had been on him.

That’s our Beetle Juice, Tobi said as she stood up. He’ll take advantage of any rider who isn’t paying attention, and a lot of them don’t. If you can handle being here for an hour, this is my last lesson. Laura will feed the horses after that so you and I can go to my house. Sound like a deal?

It certainly does. I’ll sit in your spot and watch you do your teaching thing out there.

Tobi winked at her. Hey, it used to be your thing, too.

She turned on her heel and hurried to the arena. Catherine settled into Tobi’s chair to watch the riding lesson, but her mind was a million miles away.

Two

Matt Newton stopped outside of the apartment door and curled his fingers into a fist to knock. Before he did, his gaze dropped to the floor and he took a deep breath. Exhaling slowly, he tapped his knuckles against the wood. When the door swung open a young girl with a honey blonde pony tail looked out at him with wide sky blue eyes.

Daddy! She stepped into his outstretched arms, hugging his neck as he picked her up. I thought you’d NEVER get here!

He held her with eyes closed, breathing in the smell of innocence, the scent of bubble bath and Barbie perfume.

I may be late once in a while, Abbey, but I always show up.

He looked past her and saw Irene. Tall and slender in blue jeans and a baggy Purdue sweatshirt, she seemed familiar yet distant. With shoulder-length brown hair swept up in a clip, her clear brown eyes looked at him, and the memory of those looks took his breath away for a moment.

Hello, Matt, she said quietly. How are you?

It would have been difficult for him to answer honestly, as he stood in front of her filled with a hundred emotions, so he managed only a brief smile and a nod. I’m OK. How about you?

Just fine, thanks.

Abbey kissed his cheek, lovingly pushing her fingers through his head full of dark hair.

Mommy and I got a neat new car, Daddy.

When he looked at his daughter, Matt’s smile came easily. Does your Mom let you drive it?

Not yet! Abbey grinned.

His eyes met Irene’s. New car?

She turned away from him, slightly irritated at being cornered into telling him anything about her new life. In a moment, though, she was once again very controlled.

Yes. Jeff bought it for me. He wanted to be sure Abbey and I are safe when we drive. The Buick had too many problems. We couldn’t trust it anymore.

Matt remembered when they had bought the fire engine red Buick Regal. Irene loved that car the first moment she laid eyes on it. But that was a long time ago.

That was very considerate of him, he said coolly as he picked up Abbey’s suitcase from where it stood by the door. I hope you have a nice two week vacation up north. What’s in Alaska, anyway, that is getting you to go there?

Again, she hesitated before answering his question. Jeff’s family lives in Anchorage. She changed the subject quickly. Abbey has the number where I’ll be. She gave her daughter a kiss. Be a good girl and have them take lots of pictures of you at the wedding so I can see how pretty you looked.

Abbey returned her mother’s kiss, eyes soft with sadness at leaving one parent behind once again. I’ll see you in two weeks, Mommy, she said with a small wave and then Matt carried her into the hallway.

The door closed with a quiet click and no further words from Irene. Matt walked to the elevator carrying Abbey.