Firecat!: The Legend of Amazon Sage

By Nadine Vaughan Williams

FireCat! The Legend of Amazon Sage is a coming-of-age tale with a twist. Traumatized by a fathers early abandonment while deep in a tropical forest, Sage Ogilvie, is plagued by night terrors. In her waking life she feels even more afraid as she contends with mindless taunts from schoolmates. However, when this quirky teen-age girl escapes to a deserted island with a full-grown cougar, her world changes forever.Powerful forces coincide to shift time, transform her fears and reveal answers to her most haunting questions. She dream-travels to places she has never been and engages with people she has never met. It is during these journeys that she learns to shape shift into a FireCat,the name given by the ancients to a magical, part human, part panther creature. In FireCat! Amazon Sage takes us on an incredible fi naljourney we will never forget.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781491842652

Nadine Vaughan Williams

As a shy, middle child, born into a family of eight, Nadine Vaughan Williams learned early to take flight in dreams. Like Amazon Sage, she addressed terrifying nightmares, explored other worlds, and used the dream medicine of the cougar as her spirit guide. When a young adult, Vaughan Williams traveled from her home in the Southeast to her spiritual home in northern California. There she learned to fully live, while loving her children and living off the land. Under the tutelage of Drs. Stanley Krippner and James F.T. Bugental, she became a psychologist, and reached beyond what is, to what might be. She taught college, immersed herself in theatre, then film, and traveled into the heart of the Amazon jungle. Now living on an island off the Florida coast, she writes and speaks from two worlds; science and spirit. In FireCat! mystical parts of the author’s extraordinary journey are explored.

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Contents

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

Twenty-Three

Twenty-Four

Twenty-Five

For my children, Lawrence, Heather and Melanie and my grandchildren for inspiring me; especially Aria (my little Amazon Sage), whose Mommy once asked me to write a novel about a hero who is a girl.

I want to thank my awesome partner, David D’Ardenne, for his patience and support throughout this process.

The Firecat was not entirely a mortal creature… but a human reborn into a body of magical nature.

(Mercedes Lackey)

I am a FireCat! I roam the earth at night so that others may stay safe while they sleep. I have not always been a FireCat. Once I was a human child who laughed and cried, played and worked, always with family and others of my tribe. One day, a terrible thing happened in our land. It might have been an earthquake, a flood, a tornado or a hurricane. It might even have been a war. I do not remember. I only know that it left all of us filled with fear and dread during the day and a terror like no other at night. I asked Creator for help and was blessed with a wonderful body that could shift its shape as needed. Some called me a puma, others a cougar. One ancient said You are a FireCat! I was electrified. For the first time in my life, I knew who I was; a mythical creature, born to help others in their time of greatest need.

ONE

In a woodland meadow, as dawn awakens the day, a lone cougar emerges from rocks on the far side of the meadow. Almost invisible through morning haze, she stalks her prey. Nearby, a doe and her fawns are unaware of the danger as they nibble the remaining soft greens of summer. They barely notice when birds take flight and crickets stop their chatter. All is silent. The cougar stealthily approaches. For a long moment the feline crouches, her relentless focus now on one fawn. Suddenly, Creator stirs the pot and a swift wind kicks up. The scent of danger fills the nose of the mother deer. She jerks upright, twitches her ears and with a burst of speed, leaps into the distance. Cougar bounds across the field, hungry for a first meal in days. The doe and her little ones are quicker yet. They disappear over the rise. In her first outing after birthing a cub, this mama cougar is too hungry and too tired to give chase. She slinks back to the coverage of dense forest and to her little one.

The forest, a place of dark mystery, now provides barely enough game for the most resilient of creatures. As she stands silent sentinel to these last vestiges of wild life, the home to all manner of flora and fauna, only a few feet away, ruthless machines daily rape and pillage her most secret places. These machines make way for homes and city-people. Drawn to the allure of small town life with its promise of clean water and nature strolls, these clueless folk swarm into virgin forests, inadvertently killing the treasures they seek. It is for their comfort that the forest suffers so mightily.

This is the small town of Cedar Cay, Florida and the year is 1997, but it could be anywhere; Washington State, where old-growth trees now struggle to reach toward the sky; Oxford, Alabama, where the bones of ancient people cry out as skulls are crushed by machines. These are the places whose days are numbered and no amount of civilized lawn will ever bring them back.

There is one remaining home from another time. It is just across the lane. It stands as reminder of a time when people and earth lived in better harmony. That is where Cate and her daughter, Sage live. Built to blend into a nearby wildlife refuge, most of its half-acre is fiercely untamed. On the rest, vegetables grow in between old oak trees. It has become a friendly stopping place for all manner of migrating minions. Even the diminutive shrew, a mini mouse on speed, finds sanctuary in the native terrain of this old homestead; that is until its natural diet is poisoned by herbicides. Even this tiniest of creatures finds its domicile defenseless against the vagaries of man as, in their dying, they limp back to the comfort of the old house and line her wild grasses with their corpses. Perhaps they sense that at least here, someone cares for their wild spirits. They are right.

Inside the old house on Sun Shadow Lane, a converted attic serves as a modest bedroom for Elizabeth Sage Ogilvie, an adolescent girl with attitude. On this day Sage’s dreams are good. More often, a single nightmare returns night after night to haunt her, leaving her with a melancholia that cannot be explained. It is in relaying these unsettling dreams each morning at the breakfast table that Sage and her mother, Cate, bond most strongly. When awake, Sage’s deep blue eyes are as dark as the forest moon, and although her mother has pale skin with ebony hair and eyes, Sage’s skin and hair were once referred to as machiato light by her father.

A lack of recognizable style leads Cate to laughingly refer to her daughter as Amazon Sage. As I recall from my time in the Amazon, people in the jungle have no use for fashion. However, Sage’s budding bosom and emerging hips predict that soon her awkward girlhood will give way to the responsibilities of womanhood. This morning, Sage sprawls across her too-small bed, sleeping fitfully. Almost goofy looking in appearance, the sleeping girl wears purple nail polish, raggedy silk boxers, and a well-worn tee. Her multi streaked hair twists lopsided across her forehead.

Suddenly, the radio clicks on and the sound of loud, funky music jolts the young woman onto the floor. In response, Sage’s words jolt too. Like projectiles of sound, she hollers Go Away! Faking anger, she bangs at the blaring noise.

The DJ yells back with an affected greeting. This is Tom-Tom, the Piper’s son, your main man from the main land, telling all you munchkins it’s 7:15 am, so GET YOUR BUTTS OUT OF BED! Then in a quieter voice, Now we return to more oldies of the early nineties.

Loud music returns: I’m a Bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother. Sage stares mindlessly at the clock radio, trying to remember what just happened in her dream before completely wake. However, as her senses take in the day, her body springs into action. Grabbing her guess work jeans, Sage hops toward the window through the obstacle course of her room. There, she tugs two-legged denim over her feet and up her legs, and stuffs them with her boxers. Engrossed in her morning routine, Sage sings exuberantly and in amazingly good voice. I’m a Bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother.

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Slash & Burn

The entirety of Sage’s room is a junk collector’s paradise. On the floor, mounds of funky clothes mix with the clean, begging to be washed; while a jumble of papers, books and old video games rise up in protest. Above the floor and covering every inch of wall, pictures of wild animals prance, preen, and press their teeth into the flesh of unlucky prey. Here and there, rickety shelves barely support teetering terrariums; their contents crowding out cool-looking rocks and bones. Only one wall has any empty space; the one to the right of the window.

On that wall hangs a picture of a middle aged man with an exotic young girlfriend and a small boy tugging at her hand. Signed simply, Daddy, its yellowing photo paper, cheap frame, and lack of an affectionate word hints of abandonment and neglect; a metaphor for Sage’s life with her father. Gingerly retrieving the errant window curtain cord from between purple metal blinds and leopard striped curtains, Sage jerks roughly on the cord, causing the blinds and curtain to tumble to the floor.

Suddenly, a blast of sun illuminates the room. Like a vampire just exposed to the sun, Sage dramatically covers her eyes and turns away from the light. To her chagrin, from the street below, adolescent male laughter wafts in. Sage grabs the curtain, wraps it around herself and drops to the floor. Pulling on a nearby shirt, she crawls to the window to get a look at who is laughing. Staring up at her, two neighborhood boys point toward the awkward teen-age girl and guffaw.

Angrily, Sage jumps up, tosses the curtain aside and rushes out of the room, spitting her words as she heads for the landing. Mom, I’ve got to go. Now!

Then as if pulled back in by an invisible force, Sage stops, turns, and slides over to her father’s picture on the wall. Sweetly she kisses it. Bye Daddy gotta go.

Sneaking one more peek out the window to make sure that the boys are gone, Sage peers down the road and into the field across the road. All she sees is the rock outcropping where moments before a mother cougar silently matched wits with a mother deer. What Sage cannot see is a sequence of events that has begun to unfold deep in the forest.

Leaping from behind a bush, a frisky cougar cub clumsily attacks the returning mother. Hungry for mother’s milk, the cub’s warm little body nudges against her Mommy’s underbelly, hoping to release it. Nothing. With no fresh food to eat, the mother cougar’s milk is barely there. This means that the cub’s new life will soon dry up as well. Not to be ignored, the little one again pounces on her exhausted mother until the feline once more leaves the den in search of food. The cub tries to follow but a warning nip on the ear, sends the baby scampering back into the safety of their rocky den.

Meanwhile, back on Sun Shadow Lane, Sage stares out her window, unable to see the unfolding drama she is nonetheless mesmerized; as if somehow she is connected to the scene in the forest. Something dings, breaking her spell. A robotic voice announces You have mail.

Sage dashes to her computer and deftly boots up her e-mail. Alas, it is spam. Sage mimics the computer voice, You have mail… then slaps off the power; . . . but for you? It’s only junk! As an afterthought Sage retorts I know, I know, I didn’t shut you down properly!

Determined not to miss the bus, Sage grabs her backpack, and art bag before bolting out her bedroom door and onto the staircase landing. There, as she bounds down the stairs, she resumes barking orders at her mother. Mom, I don’t have time to eat so don’t even ask. No dream talk either!

Sage stops, hears no comment from her Mom and speaks more sweetly, I may have missed the bus so can you take me to school? Oh, and have you seen that little wild kitty today?

Down in the kitchen, Cate Ogilvie, an attractive woman in her mid thirties, cooks eggs. Hearing her daughter’s vexing voice, she takes a long breath, calmly turns off the burner and picks up the frying pan. She stares at her hands. They are trembling from the weight of the cast iron. She cocks her head to one side, the way a curious puppy might, and glances over at the already toasted bagel. With no makeup and her hair pulled efficiently away from her face, it is as if Cate purposefully avoids displaying her natural beauty. Instead, she exudes intelligence and practicality.

Sage explodes into the kitchen just as her mother dumps the still sizzling eggs from the frying pan into the garbage can. Sage stops abruptly. Cate refuses to use the garbage disposal for fear it will clog the plumbing. She also won’t use the dishwasher since she always wants to save water. Sage knows that for her mother to dump untouched food into the garbage, something must be wrong; it is very unlike Cate to waste anything, much less perfectly good food. In fact, on most days, if nothing were wrong, Sage could expect to see uneaten food again that night in a dinner casserole or a pot of stew. Yet today is different. Because Sage has no time for conversation she ignores her intuition, looks down at her books, and pretends she doesn’t see the trashed eggs. As Cate starts packing a lunch for her daughter Sage softens her voice even more.

Never mind about the ride, Mom, I’ll make it to the bus. Sage pauses. . . . but can you fix my lunch? Before the words are completely out of her mouth, Sage sees that her mom is already fixing it. She closes her mouth and drops down onto a chair, feeling a bit guilty for yelling.

Sage whispers, Sorry. It’s just that… .

Seamlessly, Cate glides from cabinet drawer, to counter top, to refrigerator, to sink; slipping a sandwich into a blue plastic container, pouring juice into a matching thermos then dropping sandwich, drink, and the toasted bagel into a recycled bag. Suddenly, Sage feels contrite for yelling.

Don’t worry, Mamma, I’ll eat something at school, but I will need some money for it.

With Sage’s lunch fixed, Cate sits down and nonchalantly sips her coffee. She has decided to momentarily ignore her demanding daughter. Cate cradles her coffee mug. It resembles a photographic lens; something Cate warmly connects with her former work as a photographer.

Sage grows more visibly anxious. She grabs her mother’s purse from the counter top and plops it on the table. Hurry, please. I’ve got to go. Three will do it.

Still moving at her own pace, Cate retrieves a couple of rumpled bills from her wallet, slowly straightens them out, and pours her change onto the rough hewn surface of the kitchen table. Sage paces back over to the counter top, spies the bagged lunch on the counter, grabs it and is ready to bolt when Cate finally looks up.

Continuing to sip her coffee, Cate eyes her daughter. She feels conflicted about whether to say anything to the feisty teen. When Cate finally speaks, she is a bit too cheerful.

There’s an article in today’s paper about Cat Island. Looks like they’re going to try to develop it after all. You remember Cat Island, don’t you, Dear?

Sage stares at her mom. Cate continues speaking as if Sage has all the time in the world.

"It’s the place your Dad used to take us for picnics, before he went off with… Well, you know who.

Sage knows where this is going. She snatches the lunch bag, quickly loops the strap of her art bag over her head and pushes open the door with her foot. She wants out of there. She’s also hungry, so before the screen door hits the sill, Sage grabs the bagel and begins to munch.

Calmly, Cate raises her voice just enough to capture Sage’s attention. Elizabeth Sage, didn’t you forget something?

Sage stops in her tracks, pivots and takes a few steps back towards the kitchen. Quickly, she inventories her possessions: Back pack? Check. Art bag? Check. Lunch? Check. Bagel? Check. No, Mom.

Sage hesitates slightly before announcing; Oh, the money. I guess I won’t need it after all since I’ve got this. Sage waves the bagel in the air.

Cate insists. That’s not what I mean.

Exasperated, Sage searches for a clue. Oh! We forgot to discuss my dreams. No problems there, I am happy to report that your ‘therapy’ is working. I didn’t have any nightmares, I mean night terrors, and even though I did do some nocturnal flying—quite fun, really—I did not stray from my bed. So, all a-okay for last night.

Cate slowly shakes her head and points to her cheek. Sage rolls her eyes as if she just got what her mom is referring to.

Aw, Mom, I’m going to be late. You know the bus comes exactly at 7:30!

Insistently, Cate continues to point. Extending her cheek in her daughter’s direction she closes her eyes. Sage exhales noisily and reenters the house, ready to plant a kiss. Suddenly, Cate swings around and playfully nibbles Sage’s shoulder, making growling sounds, not unlike the playful behavior of the cougar and her cub.

Squealing in surprise, Sage tries to hold back her laughter. Instead she retorts in as testy a manner as she can. Cut it out, Mom. I am not a baby anymore. With that, Sage lurches away, upsetting her mother’s coffee mug.

Cate instinctively jumps up as the hot liquid rapidly soaks into her clothes. Sage hesitates as if she might try to help clean it up. Then without a word, waves those thoughts away with a flip of her hand, runs out the door, and disappears across the yard.

Cate slowly lowers her still outstretched arms and stares at the dripping coffee. In a fake happy voice, as if still talking to Sage, Cate motions her daughter away.

No, Honey, that’s okay. You just run along to school. I’ll clean up the mess. Today, my Birthday? Why, yes. Thanks for remembering. Yes, I love you, too.

Tears fill Cate’s eyes as she blindly stares down at the open copy of the newspaper. It displays a large photo of a ruggedly handsome older gentleman. The caption reads:

Noted animal behaviorist seeks use permit for Cat Island.

At 7:30 am precisely, Sage stands waiting for the bus. She has learned from experience that she must catch the bus since walking to school never ends well. She glances at the two boys standing a few feet away and tries to be invisible as she whispers to her wild, wayward kitten. You’re a good little kitty. I bet you don’t go peeking into other people’s windows.

Geoff and Joey, both 15 years of age, are stylishly dressed in Cedar Cay grunge. Unkempt hair, hip-clinging jeans, and long side chains give them the appearance of white-bread gangsta twins. While Joey is slight and his awkward movements still proclaim an age of adolescence, Geoff is handsome, cocky, and a jock. Making vampire-like gestures, both laugh mischievously as Geoff quips.

Quick, hide the mirrors and get out the garlic, there’s a vampire on the loose.

Joey exhibits more drama. With his hand to his forehead, he mimics Sage’s earlier expression at the window, then mugs, Oh, save me, save me. Sage is going to suck my neck.

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Cate’s Coffee

TWO

It was two years earlier, on the first day of 8th grade when Sage first met Joey and Geoff. The three of them collided while scurrying to the same home room class. Exhausted, Sage did not see them running up. She and Cate were still spending every evening unpacking and trying to stuff the accumulated possessions of their 3,000 square foot suburban Gainesville house, into the barely 1,000 square feet of their new home. This difficult task was made even more so as a result of Sage’s horrid night terrors. Besides feeling traumatized by the move and the loss of her only friend, Sage was also always exhausted.

With no family except her Mom, Sage grew up socially shy and almost exclusively in the company of adults. Her father’s parents were dead, her mom was estranged from her own adoptive parents and neither of Sage’s parents had siblings. Worse, when they first moved from Gainesville, Sage hadn’t seen her father since he disappeared many months before and had no idea where in the world he was. So, while moving, when she and her mom sang Helen Ready’s old song, You and me against the world they literally meant it. Certainly, this was not the age a girl wanted to be when her Mom uprooted her from everything she ever knew and moved her to a new town, new school, and new friends.

Shy by nature, Sage believed her mother’s decision to move amounted to a form of archaic torture. To make matters worse, Sage was intensely uncomfortable in her new school clothes. Before their move, because she felt desperate to at least look like she fit in, Sage visited a fashionable New York City style boutique and bought the most stylish outfit she could find. She had no idea that Cedar Cay kids were completely uninterested in NYC fashion. Therefore, when it mattered most for Sage to look good, instead she felt like Star Wars’ Princess Leah in Little House on the Prairie.

Ordinarily, Sage dressed like a tomboy so ironically, in her ordinary attire, she would have fit in just fine. However, on this day, so important it was for her to be accepted, she donned a short skirt, fitted sweater, boots, and tights; things she had never before worn, not even when she was a little girl. And because she was not quite sure how to move or sit in a way that protected her modesty, Sage soon found herself the object of lascivious stares from the boys and whispers among the girls. Adding to the humiliation, somewhere between the morning bell and the end of the school day, Geoff and Joey decided that this new girl would be their teasing target for the rest of the school year.

There is no question that Cate was doing everything a good mother could do to make the move easier. She worked hard to secure a modest house that was within walking distance of the school and, over the weekend, she showed Sage the location of the bathrooms and the nurses’ office. She wanted to make sure that Sage was familiar with the location of all necessities. She also wanted to make sure that Sage could easily walk home without having to wait to be picked up since Cate’s work schedule was in flux. Unfortunately, the path home turned out to be the same path that the boys took home each day.

Already chagrined that she was twice told by her new teacher to keep her legs together while sitting at her desk, Sage soon realized that she would have to endure additional torment from Geoff and Joey all the way home. Apparently they had overheard the teacher scolding Sage about how she was sitting and started cracking jokes about Sage’s skanky clothes before they even left the school yard. By the end of the first block, they were harassing her in earnest. Joey started.

Hey Sagey Pagey, you look really tasty in those digs of yours.

Geoff upped the ante. It looks like your Mommy lent you some of her hoin’ clothes. Is that how she makes her living? My Daddy says she looks like quite the party girl.

Sage was beyond mortified. At first, she wondered why this new school didn’t have an anti-bullying campaign like those in bigger cities, so she could threaten them with it. Before long, she started to feel just plain scared, real scared.

She was acutely aware that she didn’t know these boys or what they might do if they got the chance. She remembered a case, from when her mom’s law school, in which boys younger than Joey and Geoff were found guilty of rape. Sage began to feel faint. She just wanted to go home and go to sleep. That was her answer for many things. Instead, she forced herself to keep walking. She tried to stay present by remembering her spelling words. The word for loss of consciousness came to mind. Sage recalled a spelling bee where she had to know it. She repeated to herself as she felt frightened syncope… syncope.

She wondered if she might make the boys disappear if she thought about it hard enough. Her mind raced ahead. She needed to sit down and rest but she kept moving. They were getting closer and having a grand old time at her expense. Finally, her survival instincts kicked in. She determined that if she was to get home at all, she’d have to make a run for it. When the boys were temporarily distracted by a neighbor inquiring about Geoff’s deceased mother, Sage took off running. Sprinting like a gazelle, she did not stop until she was safely home with the door locked behind her.

Sobs flooded her empty house and threatened to drown her. When she began having trouble catching her breath Sage panicked. Their little house had no neighbors and was bordered on two sides by a wildlife corridor. She paced the span of the house, trying to come up with a plan. She feared she might die. With no idea where her mother was or how to reach her; with their landline not yet hooked up and no cell towers nearby, Sage felt completely and totally alone and furious! She felt furious that her Daddy was once again not there to protect her. Even if she’d had a cell phone, she had no one to call. Never had she felt so alone except for that time so many years before; a time that was so traumatic for her that it became the stuff of her worst nightmares.

In her mind, Sage suddenly finds herself at four years of age, completely alone in a forest; abandoned by her father. He seems to be more interested in chasing after his new young lab assistant than watching her. Of course he has no idea that there is a large panther prowling nearby; in Sage’s child mind, she doesn’t know that. After all, aren’t parents supposed to know everything? In her current tormented state, the images of the panther, the threatening school boys, and her negligent father chasing after his mistress swirl fast; a tornado pulling trees up by their roots; a computer on overload. Finally Sage’s mind cannot handle it anymore and she crashes.

Stop it!