My Undoing: An Inquiry into the Deconstruction of the Self

By Ed Geraty

By reading this book, I hope you begin to have an undoing experience of your own, although it may seem scary at first. Ancient spiritual and philosophical texts point to this undoing; this experience of awareness in which you realize you are not who you thought you were. You come to realize this body-mind ego state is an illusion. You see that what you always thought reality wasisnt. So read on, and put your mind and your fear aside for the time being. Dont worry; you can pick it back up at any time if you really want to. But after your undoing, you wont want to!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452576534

Ed Geraty

Rev. Ed Geraty LCSW-C is a psychotherapist in private practice, providing individual and group transformational therapy, coaching, and meditation instruction. He is also an ordained interspiritual minister and founder of the Universalus Interspiritual Community and the Baltimore Insight Meditation group in Baltimore, Maryland. When not facilitating transformational work and ministering, he blogs on his non-dual blog, Not2, at www.Not2blog.com.

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Copyright © 2013 Ed Geraty.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-7652-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-7653-4 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 7/17/2013

Table of Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter I: What We Generally Believe.

Chapter II: The Next Chapter; KNOWING and the Ego

Chapter III: Another Chapter; What We Can Choose to Perceive.

Chapter IV: And Yet, Another Chapter; Are We More Than Our Thoughts, Emotions, Body Sensations, and Reactions?

Chapter V: Who am I?

Chapter VI: The Following Chapter; A Process for Undoing.

Chapter VII: The Chapter After the Last One; Some Experiences in Awareness that you May be Having Now, or Later.

Chapter VIII: The Rough Chapter, Ego Death.

Chapter IX: We’re On a Roll Now, What Does All This Mean??

Chapter X: This is Good to Know; We Are Not Alone.

Prologue: Apparently the last chapter was not really the End.

For Further Inquiry; Do Some Further Inquiry, It’ll Be Good For Ya.

About the Author

DISCLAIMER

This book contains graphic spiritual and philosophical content and should not be read by those who are faint of heart of squeamish of stomach. It may cause radical shifts and possible annihilation of your complete perception of reality.

Actually it is specifically written for those who are faint of heart or squeamish of stomach. E.G.

If you will be understanding this book from a dualistic perspective (either this, or that) then you may determine it to be either the ramblings of an insane person, or a deeply insightful philosophical and experiential inquiry into the nature of the Self.

If you will be understanding this book from a non-dual perspective (neither this, nor that") then both of the above determinations possibly are true.

It is also suggested that you read this book in small pieces so as not to overwhelm the Ego with too much too quickly. Overwhelming the Ego with too much Truth too quickly can get messy.

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to all of us who are in this process of undoing; becoming aware that our limited Ego state of separateness is, in actuality, non-existent.

There is no real process just a continual and hopefully deepening awareness that we are not who we thought we were, as we more fully enter into the experience of who we really are.

To all of us in this sometimes fleeting state of awareness, I salute our courage to know the Truth.

Foreword

From the Readers

At the end of doing that is that. If the self is backed into a corner (successfully calling into question its separateness), it will be in crisis. Then something has to happen. Maybe in some that will be surrender. I think reading this book may well back some selves into corners.

Reading this book is like a giant ball of multi-colored yarn. You begin to unravel it slowly and by the time you get to the end of the yarn there is just you hanging on to a small thread.

This book is a valiant attempt to explain the ineffable. The author’s ability to draw from both modern and ancient sources to weave together a workable deconstruction of the Self is both timely and deeply insightful.

Having read this book I can only say it brought me to a realization about the workings of the Ego which I had never known. It has made my life less of a drama, or at least I am aware when I am creating the drama and I am able to observe it rather than fully engage in it.

Words always fail to express

what is inexpressible. Words

approach it and then fall

backwards. Additional words fail

again..

Words create ideas;

numerous words produce

numerous ideas.

You believe you were born into

this world. It is not so..

We each create a world for

ourselves. You inhabit it, and

find it unrewarding.

Your world is filled with wants,

aversions, fears and plans to

avoid fear.

Don’t you see this is your private

world? It is just in your mind.

Once you see that this is insane;

you are beginning to be free of it.

Daoist Philosopher

300 BC

Introduction

I hate books that start off with a long introduction that usually includes an autobiography of how the author got from there to here wherever that here might be. The truth seems to be that it does not matter in the least where the author was in the beginning.

There is no beginning, no ending, and no arriving! Somehow this description of the author’s journey to Enlightenment, or Awareness, or whatever you want to call it, always seems to me to be more about the authors Ego than the Awareness.

So I generally find the introduction boring and self-serving, and go right to the main course of the book.

It doesn’t matter at all what my childhood experiences may have been, nor does it matter what my journey was up until this point. It doesn’t matter what I do for a living, or what my current life situation is. All that matters (to me at least) is what I call my Undoing.

I hope you have this Undoing experience as well, although it may seem quite scary. Many people talk about this experience beginning to occur after a major loss in life, a time where what they thought offered them some type of security suddenly was gone.

Sometimes this experience begins spontaneously without any observable precipitating factors. Sometimes it begins when someone is involved in some type of altered states experience like yoga, or meditation, or other contemplative spiritual practice.

Throughout the ancient writings of the various spiritual traditions this Undoing is identified in many ways. Advaita Vedanta, the Kabbalah, the Buddhist emptiness teachings, Gnostic Christianity, and modern non-dual teachers like Eckhart Tolle, Rupert Spira and others all point to this experience of undoing, this experience in which awareness arises and you know you are not your body-mind Ego state.

You are aware that who you thought you were is not who you are. You are aware that what you thought was reality isn’t. You are aware you don’t really have a past or a future. You are aware that there is simply what is happening now, right this minute. You are aware that labels for