Laughing in the Rain: Self-Care for the Storms of Life

By Hillary Saffran

Do you need to reduce stress in your life?

Need a laugh?

Are you feeling mired in parental guilt?

This book will show you how to laugh in the rain, even if your umbrella has holes!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Dec 31, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452587332

Hillary Saffran

Hillary Saffran resides in Palmer, Alaska. She has worked in social services for many years and is involved in many organizations in her community. She is also an actress, voice - over artist, entertainer and speaker. She uses comedy, ventriloquism, singing and audience participation in her presentations. She began her entertainment career as a birthday party clown over 20 years ago, entertaining all ages from 2-102. She has never told anyone to read her lips.

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Copyright © 2013 Hillary Saffran.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Laughing in the Rain – Self-Care for the Storms of Life is a work of fiction. Names and characters are a product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Balboa Press books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

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www.balboapress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-8734-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-8733-2 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 02/12/2014

CONTENTS

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

INTRODUCTION

1 PARENTING

2 FAMILY LIFE

3 RELATIONSHIPS

4 PREGNANCY

5 AGING

6 WORK

7 DIETING

8 HEALTH

9 WEATHER

10 HOMEOWNERSHIP AND RENTING STRESS

11 ENTERTAINMENT AND TECHNOLOGY

12 ECONOMIC STRESS

13 EDUCATION

14 LANGUAGE CONFUSION

15 DRIVING AND VEHICLE STRESS

16 SHAMELESS PROMOTION PAGE

EPILOGUE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

photo1.JPG

A Merry Heart Does Good Like a Medicine – Proverbs 17:22

DEDICATION

Dedicated to my dear friend J(AG), who understands Mommy Hell but has kept her heart and sense of humor . . . with much panache . . . I’m just sayin’

Also dedicated to my dear friend Suzanna, thanks for all of the encouragement, clothes & clown things you’ve given me over the years!

Dedicated to all others who have had significant challenges in life and need a lift (is that all of humanity?)

Especially dedicated to my children

Avi, Rachel & Shoshana

In memory of my mother Florence Saffran

My grandmother Ruth Schwartz

and my cousin Andrea Nadel, who all left this world too soon . . .

. . . To be in the hearts of those who live is not to die . . . from A Stone for Danny Fisher

By Harold Robbins

PREFACE

Why did I write this book? Probably for the same reason that you are reading this – it was a form of self-care.

I experienced many joys, but also difficulties while parenting my children – especially as teenagers. I know others who have had their parenting challenges as well. I raised my three children mostly as a single mom.

At the writing of this book, my youngest child was preparing to graduate high school. I was about to become an empty nester, and I found myself reflecting quite a bit about the last 26 years of parenting.

I was also burdened by a cumbersome load of regret that I wasn’t the person 20 years ago that I am now. I wanted to go back in time to get a second chance at parenting my children again when they were young.

I realized that we can’t go back for a do over. We can only go forward. I wondered if there were other parents out there who felt the same way.

Nevertheless, having used humor in the past as a coping skill, I wrote this book for me, and for others who might need a lift in various aspects of their lives, whether going through job stress, parenting angst, relationship troubles, or the like.

At times I’ve wanted to hide my head in the sand, or the comfort of my bed. Other times I envisioned myself Laughing in the Rain as Self-Care for the Storms of Life. Hopefully, some humor along the way can prevent us from torturing ourselves by constantly should having.

Perhaps I should have stopped should having years ago!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Forty eight stress busters used in this book are from the Bonus Pullout of 75 Best Stress Busters of the Woman’s Day 75th Anniversary Special edition. Reprinted by Permission of Woman’s Day. Published by Hearst Communications, Inc.

Much gratitude to Grace Virginia Kari – photographer extraordinaire. Also thanks to Nan Potts – photographer of the cover photo. You shower me with kindness and friendship . . . pun intended!

Much appreciation for the wonderful artwork of Rainy Hastings. Check out the amazing music of their band Gerygone & Twig

Also appreciation for the drawings of Andree LaFrance & Shoshana Saffran

To Joe Sabah, who shares so much of himself through his courses and groups for speakers and writers. Joe – you truly are singing the song you came to sing

To my dear friend Carol Kincaid for sharing your stories, your heartaches and your laughter. Your feedback was the boost that I needed to complete this project

To Mark Henry for the encouraging gift of Bird by Bird . . . no, you!

To all of my Toastmaster friends in Colorado

To Don Loyd and Tim Galloway who both encouraged me to write a book

To Mare App and all of the ladies in the Conscious Connections Group

To John Klug and the Denver Theatre Sports Improvisation group

To Brook and Sara Pauquette – supportive friends that became family – (you know)!

To all of my Valley Arts Alliance friends, especially Carmen Summerfield for encouragement of my show Party of One with Friends

To VPA for the shows I’ve been a part of and the wonderful people I’ve met

To the Matsu String Orchestra and Matsu Youth Orchestra for the joy and healing that making music brings, especially for me and my daughter

To all of my friends and fellow ventriloquists that I’ve met at Vent Haven, especially in memory of Clinton Detweiler, a legend in the field & a friend to many

To Kenny Fine and Philly Mendelson of Blue Moon Talent

To clowns everywhere who brighten up lives young and old, & Colorado Clowns

To April and Kathy of DFS & Nancy & Jackie of CODI, sweet and wise women who brighten lives and work in agencies of acronyms

To Big Mitch, the best vocal coach ever!

To all of my coworker friends in case management, workforce centers and social services

To all of the clients I’ve had and the stories I’ve heard . . .

And to all of my dear friends in Alaska and the Lower 48 . . . this is for you

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass . . . it’s about learning to dance in the rain - Vivian Greene

INTRODUCTION

Many years ago while going through many of life’s turmoil’s I noticed that I was still able to laugh and enjoy things, even if it was in small snippets. Although at times I felt that my tear ducts had stretch marks, I came to the realization that I had some healthy coping skills that I wanted to share with others.

I’ve worked in the human services field as a Workforce Development Specialist in a large county job center. I assisted over 56,000 unemployed people during the darkest time of the recession with employment readiness and services. I’ve also worked as an employment advocate, where I case managed public assistance clients that dealt with tragedy on a daily basis.

These jobs, as well as many other fields have high degrees of stress associated with them. Many employees attend stress management workshops as part of their training, especially in dealing with difficult clients.

Many stress management techniques are not new to the general public. Hopefully my interpretation on many of them will bring a smile to your face, and an encouraging reminder that you are not alone.

So sit down, grab a cup of your favorite beverage, kick your shoes off, and enjoy the next couple of hours as you read about stress reducing techniques that have wonderful benefits. Oh, please note – stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Yum!

ParentingHell.jpg

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

1

PARENTING

My son Freddie Krueger has been acting up lately. I’m considering a therapeutic foster home but no one will take him.

The mother speaking must have been in her early thirties. Her southern accent drawled on, like syrup slithering down pancakes at a truck stop in Dixieland. I looked at my friend Jamey in the parents support group out of the corner of my eye. I tried to focus on what the mother was saying, but found myself becoming distracted by the polka dots on her blouse, and began playing tic tac toe in my head. My self-esteem plummeted as I consistently lost to three vertical buttons. I told Jamey that I was no match for a gingham version of Saturday Night Fever.

Jamey and I tried hard to control our snickers, because we really, really wanted to be attentive and polite. The truth is, if we really took to heart what the woman was saying, we’d think of our own pain, and might not stop crying for a long, long time.

Have you experienced any form of parental stress? I wanted this chapter to be universal; otherwise it would have been titled Mommy Hell, because I’m a mom. However, if you’re a father, a grandparent raising a child, a foster parent or guardian, a relative raising a child, or any combination of the above, and if, for whatever reason, you’re experiencing

Spawn Gone Wrong – this chapter is