A Broken Paradise Series: The Alliance: "What Have I Gotta Do to Bring You Back?"

By Ellie Williams

THE ALLIANCE
Second installment to the A Broken Paradise Series.

Oh my god!
WENI!
WENI!, open your eyes!
What happened?
CUALLI!

What's happened to Weni, Cualli?. Sheriton asked, tears already welling up in her eyes.
I know this is a little hard to understand right now. I began again, I know right now you're all just thinking about the fact that she's gone, but there is still hope, there is still hope that this can work.
THAT IS NOT WENI!! Sheriton screamed at me.
What happens if people find out? What if Damson finds out. Tess blurted out.
The Alliance will fall apart? Perri mumbles under his breath.
Galina wiped her tears. Awen is still in there, that body is still hers.
How can you trust her? Tess asked.
I don't think it's a case of trust right now.... Ceri said as he got to his feet and walked to Galina and Sheriton.
She's keeping my sister alive.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481786317

Ellie Williams

Ellie Williams (Born: Danni Williams) 16th October 1983 Cardiff/S.Wales. Ellie is the youngest of four. Straight after high school Ellie and her family moved to the south to start a new life. Ellie planned to go to college that summer to study her first love ‘Performing Arts’ but ended up joined the cabin crew of Condor Ferries at port Weymouth / Dorset for a few years, then moved on to Clinton Cards during winter seasons while off the boats. She also joined JD Weatherspoons and later Peacocks LTD as a retail assistant. Ellie is the mother of a wonderful little boy, Alex. Alex has CP (Cerebral Palsy) which as you can imagine is a full-time job in itself. But Ellie didn’t falter. From spring 2007, she decided to restart her writing, an escape from the harsh reality she lived when taking care of a sick child. Ellie didn't go out because of Alex's health and his needs; she had become prisoners in her own home. So she found her escape in old school work she found inside a box in her attic one day, she found her old English Lit books and folders. It resparked an idea: A Broken Paradise. Ellie started it at school almost 12 years ago back then, it was an English lit paper for an exam. But of course back then it was just 100 pages long, yep! Back then the first book was called "This Way to Paradise" (which is now book 3). This is where it all began, when one 100 page essay for English Lit turned into potentially a 6 book series. Who knew? Ellie says “It would seem I started from the end and worked myself back to the beginning. This is true in many cases, except This Way to Paradise isn't the last and final book now, there are in fact two more after that even. So far I have written three books: Chasing Fears/ The Alliance and This Way to Paradise, which leaves only Books Four & Five (possibly six) left to do?”

Book preview

Hey it’s Sheriton here!

I wrote this in my own diary. I thought I would add this as it was pretty coincidental that I wrote it not 4 hours before Awen came back: I finished it though, while she slept (Lol). I had recently begun writing entries like this since I felt completely alone, most of my entries start like this . . .

Altered

Saturday 5th July 2008.

To whom this may concern . . .

Awen is semi flawed. Her reaction to this homecoming is contrary to the fact. I find this difficult and gut wrenching to find that my best friend in the whole world/ my sister, had abandoned me and returned only to abandoned me again . . . this time for Natalia!. I saw her for 5 minutes and she was whisked away like a lost love. Perri feels I am being stupid and jealous . . . he feels I’ll have plenty of time with Awen and I should not feel disheartened by the fact she has taken an interest in Natalia of all people.

Forgive me Nate x

You’re a douche :P x

Things have changed I know, things are changing I know, and Awen has changed. But how much has she changed? This is what happened when she came back . . .

I was bored out of my mind; Taifa was driving me nuts about this order for Tuesday that didn’t seem to include the hot leather panties she’d taken to, the ones she had seen in the old Ann Summers mag she picked up in Barstow a few months earlier. I didn’t care about the stupid pants, I didn’t care if Natalia wanted the blue or the hot pink and I certainly didn’t care if there were no more C cups left in the Victoria Secret section . . . today. I just didn’t care. My emotions had unloaded when I saw Perri through the window, he came into the shop and I went to run into his arm but he wasn’t alone, I had stop on my tracks in surprise when the girl behind him took off her hat . . . it was Weni!.

I was on a verge of a stroke, Perri came to me and pulled me into his arms and kissing me but I could hardly move. Awen just stood there staring at me and she smiled but I was just in so much shock; Weni had changed.

Taifa screamed loud and proud, running over to her and squeezed her tightly, Awen was amused, and it was a real smile, an Awen smile with those flush lips. Just before I actually thought of something to say to her Natalia came from the back room and gave her opening statement of something like Well, Well, Well. Look who just got back!

That smirk on Natalia’s face, her attitude was still the same but she had a hint of excitement which I disliked about her. For a month or more she had been back lashing Weni for disappearing again and now she was hugging her. Taifa was holding on as well, they were taking my thunder and I felt like they were suffocating me. I should have been the one with my arms around Weni, showing her how excited I was to see her, but I was scared, she didn’t feel like the Weni that left me three months ago, she was different.

While I stood there I savored the moment, who knows how long it’s going to last before she packs up and leaves me again. I was angry to say the least, I didn’t think I would be I thought I would have been so overwhelmed that all I want to do is hug her but all I wanted to do was hit her. She’d caused me so much pain, she’d worried me to the max and worse, I’d just lost my gran and she wasn’t here for me. I know she heard my thoughts, her face saddened and she mouthed I’m sorry. But I wouldn’t have it from her, my attention was on Natalia who had suddenly decided to take the day off work and stiff us.

She said she was going to take Weni out! I was in a state of disbelief, I know it wasn’t unusual for Natalia to believe she was in-charge around here, but this was my money, my shop and my idea, I employed her so I surely should have a say in the matter. But it made no difference; Natalia had whisked Awen off before I had a chance to explain those facts to her.

We picked up Callia after work and drove home together. Awen and Natalia hadn’t come back to the store like Nat had originally promised. I had given up on the subject when we parked up in our usual spot at the Colony, the place we all reside. The excitement in the car was unbearable; it made me nervous, totally sick. Callia was so excited it made Taifa more excited and I felt I should have at least put a face on for the atmosphere before I was questioned about my inability to smile. I don’t know what come over me, but suddenly I knew Awen and Natalia would already both be at the apartment before we got there. It was like I could almost see them sitting in the living area chatting away like old women on a bench; my sickness grew.

I questioned myself a lot. I had a bad feeling, I began to wonder if I was the problem and Weni actually hadn’t changed; was it me who had changed? When I entered the apartment I stood in the door and preparing myself for the welcome home I would receive. Callia had already left me, unable to wait because she wanted to see Weni; I recalled they weren’t in the family room so I went down the hall towards the voices I could hear. I went into Taifa’s room and there they all were, sitting around on her bed chatting and laughing. I was greeted by Callia first who was giving the whole there she is! Oh my god we were just talking about you spiel. I didn’t care all that much, I knew they weren’t, I was probably mentioned in passing. I looked to see what everyone else was doing when Weni caught my eyes, she was standing near the bathroom door looking to me, her eyes were plush, she looked tired, I wondered about the transition, how was that going?.

Natalia was half undressed (as normal) checking herself out in the mirror, Taifa was sitting on the bed with Callia checking out all the clothes that seemed to be new, the tags were a dead giveaway. I didn’t stick around long, even after Callia tried to include me, she said that we were all going out, clubbing was her words. I was bewildered, I looked to Taifa for direction, she had been my Weni the last few months, she wasn’t too keen herself. She gave me an exhausted smile and I knew she’d be too whacked to want to go anywhere as I was. I couldn’t help but grieve on the moment; I performed my greatest fake smile and made my way out and towards my room when Weni called me back. This wasn’t just any call, she called me Rizzo and I couldn’t help but smile. It felt like ages since I heard her sound the way she did, that was the Weni I knew, the Weni that left me.

I turned around to face her and she was smiling at me, just the way she used too. That sweet smile, and she told me I didn’t have to go out, that we could go out another night and I was relieved, I didn’t wanna go anywhere I was truly dog tired. Then she said that she didn’t want me to feel that I had to go out because of her, I found that funny, but it was what she said after and it hurt. Weni said the words I truly wanted to believe but found so hard too because she’s done it already twice before. She told me that she wasn’t going anywhere, that she was here and those words cut like a knife and the sting was just as bad. I agreed with her anyway, didn’t want her to feel that I was in the habit of not taking her word for it, but I knew I needed time. In time she’ll be able to prove to me her strength but I still know that eventually she has to leave me again, maybe for good; God I hope not.

There was something different, something I instantly caught while I looked at her, I asked her what happened to her eyes?, they had changed, they were green for a start, they were no longer blue, no blue were held on them anymore, but golden streaks and white sparkles and a thin rim chasing her retina, like a swirling galaxy; they were different I don’t care what she said. Awen touched her face and shrugged, it was like she hadn’t noticed but I knew she did. Awen changed the subject; she joked and said that I had to help her set up the sofa so she had somewhere to sleep. I was confused. I figured now she was here she would share my room?, I asked her about this and her smile lifted, she was playing with me, she just wanted me to tell her it was alright; and it was totally alright with me. That was my Weni! I could see through those subjugating enthrall eyes, she smiled and giggled and shrugged her shoulders, she was playful and very adorable. She told me she thought I was still angry with her, I could see the old Weni in her as she said it, Awen was there, she was just growing up so fast, this time a part she’d grown, that’s what this was. I knew she had gotten the angry part from my thoughts, I softened and told her I wasn’t mad anymore, that my pain would eventually heal and assured her that I just missed her and I was scared for her, it eased things dramatically.

I took her into my room and showed her around, I showed her how cool it was that I had my own bathroom and it’s the biggest in the apartment, also showed her my wardrobe space, she was excited for me, she was excited for herself. Awen sat down on the bed and looked to me, her eyes softened I knew she had something to say. I went and sat down next to her, she took my hand in hers and smiled, I instantly felt something, something flowed through our hands, like a transference I swear. Not so much I gave her something, she gave me something and it was beautiful. Then she began pouring her heart out to me, telling me how sorry she was, how she didn’t wanna leave me and that she couldn’t find any other way other than to go with them. I knew all this; I was just being a tight arse about it. I was hurt but I knew she had to go with them, I understood all of her pleads I was just too stubborn to accept that she did it for us and not just for herself. I hoped she got done what she needed, learned what she needed so she could stay.

She jumped up off the bed quicker than I anticipated, I was just getting through to her that I was alright with things when she said she had a gift for me, I couldn’t help but laugh and smile. Awen always had something when she came back; I was excited to find out what she had for me. She hurried out of my room and disappeared from sight for a moment or two before returning with a small wrapped box. I was really curious now as she handed it to me with a big smile. She told me to open it so I hungrily ripped at the nicely wrapped box. This couldn’t be Weni’s doing, I’ve received presents before and her personal touch is crap! I remember one year she sent me one of those small birthday cakes; a ‘me to you’ bear on it and the wrapping was terrible. With that I recalled before opening it I asked her if she had wrapped it and she laughed, I knew she hadn’t I didn’t need her to ask me if the Pope shit in the woods! Same old Weni Lol

I finally got through the wrapping and the box was up-side down, I laughed at this and turned it over to reveal it was a JVC Everio GZ-MG330, I was in total shock, but I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Weni has always been one for buying me expensive gifts; every year until four years ago I was quite annoyed with this present though, when I recalled seeing this model in the wired magazine in the waiting area of Perri’s agents office last week, this Camcorder was almost 400 bucks!

Awen wasn’t showing any signs of anything close to shocked or worried, she was excited, pleased and happy with my reaction. She told me that it was one of the best on the market, that she thought I’d love it and I did love it! I was just shocked that she bought me a cam and not just a cam a digital video camera . . . but why?

I sat her down and asked her and she explained that she wanted me to document everything that means something, that even if it was a flower sitting lonely in a vase that she wanted me to record it that she hoped I’d add whatever I recorded in retrospect in the book she had started. I’d almost forget about the book, her bible. I agreed, I understood what she was asking me to do, I understood that she wanted some form of video log for us as well, something we can look back on, give this Bible thing a little more of a modern theme to it too; maybe you guys will get to see it one day who knows.

Her diary was bigger since the last time I saw it, a lot bigger and I know she wanted me to tell her story the only way I knew best; through video. So I took the camera out of the box, I wanted to get started right away, this camera was about to become the be all and end all of my days, and Weni knew it. She helped me set it up by putting the battery in and putting in the date and time, also my name was up at the bottom; sooner or later I’d learn how to change what it said at the bottom of the screen.

So it was Saturday 5th July 2008 and the time was 17:39pm. I pointed the camera in her face while she sat there in thought, I could see by how deep she was that something was troubling her . . .

Do you wanna talk about it?

I asked her.

Awen looked up to me, noticed I was videoing her and smirked as she hide her face from me, embarrassed!

Awen embarrassed . . . certainly not! But yes she was Lol

I don’t know where to start Awen confessed

I sigh deeply and move closer to her, zooming out on the angle so as to blur the focus.

Okay well I’m here when you do I reassured her.

Awen turned and smiled at me, I bounced on the bed playfully, trying to make her laugh.

Tomorrow we could go to the beach and unwind. I could do with a little break I had suggested.

Awen’s eyes brightened slightly as she smiled at me.

Sounds good

I placed the camcorder on top of my drawers by the door and aimed it straight at Awen lying on the bed relaxing. I took off my sweater standing in my bra and jeans, I wasn’t worry that the camera could see half of my body, this video would only be seen by us and possibly the others and they see me in a bathing suit often, this was no different as far as I am concerned.

Awen slumped down flat on the bed, lying back gazing at the ceiling.

You know what? I don’t feel like going out tonight, I’m actually really tired. Awen confessed more to me.

I was clearly happy with that, I didn’t wanna go out either. I only wanted too because I thought she wanted too and because I wanted to spend more time with her, wanted to get back to where we left off, we had so much to talk about, so much I had to tell her.

I grabbed at my nightie instead of going to my closet for clothes and grabbed the cam and brought it to Weni.

Then let’s stay in. Have something to eat and just go to bed I suggested.

Awen liked that idea, she nodded with agreement. We can always go out tomorrow night

I gave her an even better suggestion and she was happy with that.

I grabbed her hand and gave her the cam and told her I’ll go tell the girls

After I left Awen she sat holding the camera, you can hear her breathing and she sighs a few times before turning the camera on herself. It was like she was looking through the camera into my soul, she smiled and shook her head with embarrassment before she built the confidence to speak into it…

I really missed you She said into the camera.

You can see tears welling up in her eyes and a smile of happiness.

*     *     *

My progress from that time was I’d successfully informed the girls Weni and I wasn’t going out with them but that left Taifa in a bit of a pickle because she didn’t really want to but ended up going anyway. Callia tagged along for them for Taifa’s sake because the thought of going out with Natalia and her leaving Tif on her own in LA was scary at the best of time. But Natalia couldn’t help but give herself freely to the right type of guy back then and she’d end up most nights going home with someone . . .

Didn’t you!

Bite me Sheriton>:(

*     *     *

The time was 21:01pm.

The girls had officially made their way out and I raided the cupboards of any junk food I could find. I had not intended to leave the bedroom unless it was necessary, I had everything I needed once the food was in place and I had my own toilet. I’d called Perri to tell him the good news, he wanted to come over but he knew I wanted to be alone with Weni first, he was cool with seeing us tomorrow, this would be the first night in months we’d been apart.

I had cans and cans of Cokes, all cold still from the fridge. I dropped a couple of packs of chips and chocolate bars on the way into the bedroom but I knew I’d pick them up later. When I got into the room Awen had settled to almost asleep, her eyes were closed and she lay slightly on her left side towards the window.

I left the cam on the drawer looking at the bed again; we’d almost forget about it, I had anyway. The door closes behind me and I drop all the food on the lonely chair behind the door. Awen opened her eyes and turned over to look at me.

Sorry I nodded off there she apologized and sat up.

I get up on the bed. That’s alright. I just brought some stuff just in case you wanted anything to eat

I handed her a Coke and she begins opening it.

This bed is so comfy Awen says.

I sat back up against the headboard and smiled. Yeah, had to pad out the mattress for about a month of two because it was so hard, but now my ass groove is in it, it’s a lot better

We laugh together.

And how did you do that I wonder Awen makes a quick passing comment and I laugh, I know what she’s thinking!

Weni I playfully hit her and she laughed again.

Awen joins me laying back up against the headboard, it goes quiet for a while and all that was noise was the gassy bubbles of the Coke can trying to escape. Awen was looking out of the window to the starry night sky but I was looking at her.

I recall, even when watching this I know I was wondering when she was gunna tell me about the adventures she had been on or even what she had found and done while she was away. I wondered how she’d start or even if she’d tell me at all when she finally turned from the window and looked at me. My wondering thoughts of her I knew she’d be listening to or rather I hoped she would, I hoped her ability to hear me was better because I didn’t know where to start.

Of course I would be curious of her time from us; it’s only natural since she felt different from before and so much quieter than normal. I feared the worst of it all, I was screaming inside waiting for an explanation to why my Weni seemed so much more distant than normal that she seemed to push me away at the first try of understanding her. It only hurts because I felt I had already missed out on so much of her when she disappeared for so long and now only for her to be taken away from me again.

I recall the words that I thought at this time and I prayed that she didn’t need me on her time away, and I needed to know that she didn’t cry or feel alone. I needed to know she was alright. But then she broke my heart, broke it again and again when she looked at me and said . . .

I needed you answering my thoughts Awen’s killed me with her pain.

Her eyes were filling with tears and I was overwhelmed with guilt, hurt, regret and most of all worry.

I was alone. I have cried. But… she paused and I felt my world collapse.

I found that not having you around was far better than putting you in the danger I have seen

I spent two months travelling none stop, from state to state and then from country to country only to see through people, to see and to learned what I have Sheriton has filled me with so much fear that I don’t fear death anymore.

My heart sank, never mind my world. Awen’s pain was very real, very sickening, I felt it.

From the moment I arrived in Texas I was instantly told that this whole obsession with our kind wasn’t to do with the United States Government. In all honesty Project Genesis was run by the UK-USA Relations and their Secret Service base, which happened to be in Fort hood…

You were in Texas? And who the hell are the UK-USA Relations? I blurted out.

Awen smirked and giggled So much to tell you

What happened?

Awen exhaled and prepared me an answer.

As expected they wanted to conduct simple tests of my ancestral genetics, not yours

Like how I asked.

Awen gave out a little laugh, one in which I understood as ‘stalling’, Awen knew I wouldn’t take her next words lightly.

Genetic enhancement persuasion

I was horrified to say the least.

What?

It’s okay. Calm down Awen said with the wave of her hands.

What did they do to you?

Nothing I couldn’t handle and nothing I didn’t already consent too.

I was even more horrified.

Sheriton my blood is pure. I could save lives, I could heal people, and I can do so much

You allowed them to use you Weni

No. Awen detested. They didn’t use me Sheriton. I allowed them to do tests, I allowed them to work out the possibilities and I learned while they did this, I learned why I am so important

I couldn’t be angry with that and I couldn’t deny her of it. But I knew why she was important and it wasn’t because she’s some superhuman built for good. She was important because she was my best friend and I loved her to death. I began to realize at this point how much Weni had grown up on this trip with these Relations, that to see her the way she was and to hear those words come from her mouth, she wasn’t my Weni anymore, my Weni had changed, it was like they brainwashed her

You don’t believe me Awen added.

I never said that I protested.

No you didn’t say that but you ain’t saying anything at all Awen probed.

You’ve changed

Awen wasn’t surprised I came out with those words, she agreed with me in some way, in what way? I guess I’ve got time to find out.

*     *     *

All the hairs stood up all over my body while Awen told me about what she’s been through, all her answers were simple, they didn’t go into too much detail but I could tell by her constant lowering of her head and breaking eye contact that she didn’t like the questions I had asked.

How far do you think you’ve come through the transition? I was hopeful.

Awen shrugged. I don’t know… I gained as well as lost. Some things come and go. My body feels different Sheriton; sometimes I don’t feel like me

I feel pain! A few months ago I couldn’t have been able to say that and I also bleed, they can pierce my skin. I found that my feelings towards people are stronger, my mind bothers me a lot.

I frowned. You bleed? You feel pain? They pierced your skin? You feel things? Awen I don’t know what all this means?

I was clearly confused, as was she . . .

Awen laughed It doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you about another time but the main thing is I can bleed, I can get hurt, I heal but I can get hurt and I guess that makes me human

I understand all that. What do you mean when you say you have feelings for people? You’ve always had feelings!

Awen smiled, it was a mischievous, another sure sign Awen had grown up, I knew that smile.

Well there was this guy…

I laughed.

Oh yeah

Well two guys really but I was just having a little fun

Awen you didn’t?

Awen laughed.

No, no I didn’t lose it!

Strangely I was relieved to hear that but I don’t know why?

Well don’t leave me holding gurl I wanna hear all about it I was eager.

Awen laughed again.

The first night I was at Fort hood I was instantly asked out by one of the doctors

I laughed at this.

Not like that. He just wanted to meet me Awen explained.

Doctor Lloyd Awen’s smile explained it all, this guy Awen had really taken too.

Oh my god Awen said breaking from her thought. I have a photo!

Now I was excited to see this! Someone who turned Awen’s head other than her dream guy and Rik was absolutely worth seeing.

Awen grabbed at her cell and began playing around on it, and handed it to me showing me the phone.

Instantly I was greeted by the surprisingly attractive Doctor Lloyd. I mean you straight away think because he’s a doctor he can’t be all that good looking and is probably middle aged or worse! Although I’m not saying you don’t have your good looking middle aged Doctors but there was defiantly something about Doctor Lloyd that drew you in.

Wow! was really all I could say!

Awen laughed. I know init!

Awen took the cell from me and began flicking on it again.

I have two photos of us together Awen informed me, I wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing.

You spent a lot of time with him then? I was intrigued to say the least.

Almost every day, he’s a teaser; we play each other like fiddles

Those words were shocking to hear from her, they were something Taifa would say!

So nothing happened between you both then?

I had to make sure.

Not from the lack of trying no. I don’t know what was up with him

Awen seemed frustrated.

And what about this other guy

I thought I’d see where the grass laid on this one.

Todd Awen smirked. I kissed him before I left him in Colorado, should have seen his face Awen laughed.

You kissed him!

And of course I was shocked, I didn’t think Awen had kissed anyone, I mean other than her dream guy, but we’re still not even sure about the power of existence and REM on that one.

Enough about that Awen suggested I also met a man who was there at my birth?

I almost choked on the chip in my mouth; I grabbed Awen’s Coke to wash it down with. Your birth

Awen nodded with agreement.

Who was he? I asked.

Some dude from Thailand she told me works in a bank now

It didn’t make sense. I couldn’t believe he’d be that far around the world from Wales where Awen was born.

She took a sip of the Coke. He even had my hospital tag

That was weird I thought.

Hospital tags. How?

Awen smiled.

He said Mam gave it to him. He was one of the nurses that helped deliver me

I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that she’d found the guy that close to her and to be in Thailand as well! What are the odds?

I finished the chips in my mouth. He was a nurse?

Strange profession was another thought not nowadays but back in the 80’s?

Awen laughed. Yeah, he was starting out but later his wife made him feel less of a man so he went back to Thailand and got a job as an accountant

This is where I found out what these UK-USA Relations got Awen doing in her time with them.

So you went to Thailand?

I’ve went to a lot of places but Thailand was one of them yes

What do you mean?

Awen sighed deeply. I went travelling around the world for the Company

The Company

It’s what we call the UK-USA Relations. It’s better to refer to them as the Company rather than a department or branch because their neither. It’s not like the US Government branches, it’s based on some of them but it’s more like branches such as CIA, FBI, NCSI, MI5, MI6, NATO, you see where I’m going with this? Awen asked me, I was confused.

It’s UK and USA bound relations, all our secret and government departments and all of the US secret and government departments all rolled into one to form one.

Who was the guy we saw that day in Oklahoma?

That was the Professor

And what does he do?

He oversees everything I guess

So he’s in charge then?

Awen shrugged and laughed. I don’t know? I guess I mean I don’t know?

And what about the President and your government, do they have a say?

I should imagine so Sheriton but I think Wielding is like the doer or something. I mean the very foundations of the UK-USA Relations is based on mutual agreement made between all World leaders that are a part of it so I guess each Nation has a say but only one makes the decision

And that’s Wielding?

Awen shrugged but then nodded, I guess she really didn’t know? And I guess it was one of those things; if you don’t know who’s pulling the strings then no one can be blamed.

I sort of got the feeling that it doesn’t matter the events taking place that many of them just take on board the important message of Professor Wielding. I mean not even the General of the Military stands ahead of him, neither the defense secretary and that’s coming from the President himself

You know the defense secretary?!

Awen laughed. Yeah, he don’t like me very much

I was even more shocked.

So its official the President knows about you then?

Of course, there are only a certain select few that don’t know about me Rizzo. The UK-USA Relations has been going a long time; many have dedicated their lives to me and our kind

Our kind, those words meant so much to me, so much that finally I felt I was a part of something and Awen was there right beside me.

Our I repeated the simple word.

Awen smiled. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it

I laughed.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t.

Naturally I have thought about it

You are like me Sheriton. In one way or another Awen tried to reassure me.

I don’t feel it I admitted.

Cualli says developing your essence is like puberty. It can happen straight away, some may have to wait for it to develop, but then you have ‘the difference’. There are people out there, ones who are born with it and you have others that need a little boost, ones in which either get their abilities through reason of accident or something less dramatic like getting help from someone who can accelerate these things

Awen had learned a lot. It was in every word she said, every reassurance. The Company had helped her a lot and they had taught her things I hoped I’d also get to learn. I needed to understand like Weni did, I needed relevance, confidence, and importance.

Did you learn more about my family?

I found myself asking. I knew Awen would look into it, I knew deep down inside she would have done it for me; she would know I secretly needed to know.

I did Awen confirmed.

And? I asked

Awen smiled gently. Do you really want to know?

I nodded instantly, I wanted to know.

Awen sighed deeply. You and Taifa are the only ones who haven’t developed Awen said in one breath.

I wasn’t as hurtful as I thought I would be I strangely was happy to learn this new information. I wished Taifa was here, but I would be telling her later whatever Awen told me now. Taifa and I have been closer since Oklahoma, we’re tight.

Tirane and my mom too?

Awen nodded with agreement.

Tell me I asked her.

You mam is what they call a PA3.

I smiled. You found out what that means!

Awen smiled and laughed a little Yeah, finally found out what that means

While I was under the Company I learned about that PA category thing… it’s obvious you remember how we seen a lot of PA2’s and PA3’s on the list?

I agreed with a nod.

Well we’re put into four categories of six levels of strength

I was lost already; Awen thought it was funny though.

I’m sorry I’m just going to confuse you now ain’t I?

No. Tell me I want to know

I almost shot out of my place, I had been blank about this but I was truly listening now, I really wanted to know all about it, especially since it was explaining my family in ways I never thought possible.

Awen continued. Six categories, people more like you than me are divided into the four PA groups, but three main groups at the moment

So I asked. So what does the PA stand for?

My brain finally clicked in.

Awen was keen to answer. PA stands for a few things but mainly Primal Axioms, Primal meaning the first primeval of this planet and Axiom means a universal acceptance of the truth behind our heritage and ancestry. Hence calling us Primal Axioms or the Primes, even Primal A’s

I shook my head. I sort of understood everything but Awen was there ready and waiting with the explanation when I asked the questions.

And my mom is a PA3?

Your whole family are part of the PA3 category Awen confirmed.

*     *     *

I went silent while she explained everything she knew. I had to think hard, I couldn’t believe how Awen sounded, I don’t mean to say she sounded dumb the last time we spoke but suddenly she was coming out with words not even I understood. The way she spoke to me, she spoke with confidence; I wondered how many times she’d recited the same thing to someone else. I wondered what Cualli would think? Would he be proud to hear her talk as she is?

Awen sounded older, far more intelligent, and more confident and even more the leader that Cualli spoke often about previously, he was totally right, Awen is becoming that leader, the Queen, the Alpha and Omega.

And then I remember . . .

Did Cualli come back?

Awen smirked. He did, and he’s around here somewhere. He was being pissy with me so I told him to take a walk, he’s never really away that long, you know what he’s like Awen chuckled.

He got to you then? I asked.

Awen looked to me and frowned. What do you mean?

I thought this was probably the time to tell her about Shawna and Arielia. To actually inform her that it was in-fact Shawna who got Cualli back.

I smiled and gave a little laugh. It was Shawna who got Cualli back for you, Shawna and Arielia.

Awen didn’t say anything; I think she was just processing what I had said to her, I waited for a reply in some way.

She gave Arielia up? Awen asked.

I agreed to disagree, I wasn’t sure if Shawna was telling the truth when she said that once Arielia had gone, that there wasn’t any return.

She sent her to go get him, to tell him what had happened and that you needed him

Awen laughed. She did that for me? Why?

Why indeed? Something I was yet to find out myself

I don’t’ know. I haven’t spoken to her since

Awen frowned at me. Sheriton

I know what you said I told her. I just couldn’t forgive her, Weni

Awen touched my shoulder, comforting me. I’ve learned so much in my time away, so much that I couldn’t hope for you to fully understand it just yet. But I did hope that when I asked you to forgive her that you would

I’m sorry I lowered my head in shame.

It’s okay, there is still time. Just know that there is a reason for everything Rizzo. What Shawna did to me, helped me

She was right.

Who knows where I would be right now? What Shawna did helped me along, helped me get here Sheriton

I know I agreed.

You need to forgive her and you need to make amends. In a few days Cualli is going to go all Biblical on you again…

I laughed and Awen followed.

Yeah, you know how he does She added.

I couldn’t help but chuckled some more.

I need you all to stick together; I need you all as one unit, and something we’ve never really been. I will deal with Shawna in time but I’m begging you to forgive her, I need you too

Okay I agreed.

I was worried. I hadn’t spoken to Shawna really since it happened and she had tried; I just wouldn’t have it. It’s not been that long since I actually was able to sit in the same room as her, I’ve just about accomplished that these past 2 weeks, but now Awen was asking me to forgive her entirely, to forget and to bring her back into the fold; I just hope I can.

That night I just sat and watched Awen sleep. It had been a long time to me since the last time we shared a bed let alone a conversation as big as this one. She turned a few times and spoke aloud, but nothing really made sense where I could understand what she was seeing. She was restless as ever, I too was in the same boat, just suffering in silence, awake and alone once more; like I had been for months without her.

It is almost 3:30am when the girls finally made their clumsy way back into the apartment, Callia giggling uncontrollably like normal and Taifa dragging her in by her arms as quietly as she could. I got out of bed as gently as I could so as not to wake Weni, put my diary down on the end table and escaped out of the room closing the door behind me; but not before taking the cam with me too!.

Video evidence and all Lol

Natalia was nowhere to be seen as usual, she’d obviously gone off with someone else.

Callia was kneeling in the hallway and Taifa was hanging over her with her hand over Callia’s mouth trying to keep her quiet.

Have a good time? I asked.

Taifa shot up straight to look at me.

Uh yeah, just trying to get Callia up

I will admit Callia was hysterical as usual. She had begun laughing loud so I turned the cam off and laid it by the door and went over and grabbed her arm, helping Taifa get her into her room.

From memory:

I recall I told Taifa to grab Callia’s other arm and help me drag her into bed. We pulled her up onto the bed and Taifa undressed her, I went to go get my cam so I could record this for later!

What are you doing awake? Did we wake you? Taifa asked.

I led us out of Callia’s room and closed the door.

No, I was already awake

Where did you get that from? Taifa asked, indicating the cam.

I was pleased about it.

Weni bought it for me

Awesome Taifa said dolefully.

We quietly walked back to Taifa’s room where I’d leave her for the night.

Is Awen awake?

No, she’s asleep I replied.

Who’s going to see this video then? Taifa asked.

I laughed.

I don’t know? Us I guess. Awen has just asked me to document everything and anything. Things I think are interesting

Taifa smiled.

Do I have a present?

I chuckled, I knew that was coming.

Awen always bought for everyone, I was at least 70% certain she had.

I guess so; I mean she wouldn’t have just got me one would she? She’s still a shitty wrapper I joked.

Taifa saw the funny side of that.

I’m sure I’ll get it tomorrow.

I’m sure you will. She just needed to sleep and I’ve never seen her so tired

Taifa frowned to me.

Do you think it’s to do with that necklace?

It was a good question, I’d completely forget about that; stupid enough. I don’t recall seeing it on her? I had told myself to remember to ask her when she woke up because I hadn’t even asked her about Casius either at that time.

Taifa yawned, my cue.

I’ll leave you to it then and see you in the morning I said and headed out. Taifa blew me a kiss and fell back on her bed.

Hello! Awen here, ha-ha! I’m so glad to begin this after it feels like it’s taken my ages to get here. Finally without further ado . . . I have finally arrived in Los Angeles! Yay!! X

A.C.M.S

~~*How Do I Live Now With What I Know?*~

~*Day 56*~

July 6th 2008.

It was sudden but I woke abruptly, like a startle, and it was because I didn’t know where I was. This felt like I’d lost all sense of reality, slowly things began to piece together. I recalled being in Sheriton’s room and that yesterday I had finally arrived in Los Angeles. I was alone in Sheriton’s room now, she’d obviously been up and dressed and I would finally wake myself to go join her.

I find out what time it was and freaked One!!

I couldn’t believe it, I had slept all morning, and I’ve never slept all morning, or slept this long for sure. I jumped out of bed and dropped to the floor where my bag was sitting and sieved through it for some clothes. I’d remembered we were going to the beach today so I knew not to dress heavy, something light and airy for the occasion. I looked at my clothes: they all seemed baggy and would possibly droop on me since I lost at least two stone since I last wore them. I looked in the bag of clothes I bought yesterday when I was out with Natalia and remembered the presents I got for them all while we was out. I pulled out of the one bag a pair of loose three quarter length trousers and a short sleeveless top, a zip up sweat shirt or cardigan would follow.

I went to the bathroom and completed my transition for the day. I didn’t want to waste any more time so I’d shower later if I had the chance. When I left Sheriton’s room I could hear lowered voices in the direction of the living room, they were lowered so no one could hear them for a reason, was that reason me?

The direction was the same but the voices felt longer, I thought maybe they were out on the balcony. The living room was empty: for sure they were sitting out there in the sunshine. The voices were identified as Sheriton and Callia but there was a third: I could feel it. Someone else who sat silent, listened and gave a memorable grunt of acknowledgement, I pulled the curtain out of the way and stepped out on to the balcony.

Afternoon sleepy I caught Calli’s eye; she got up from her seat to greet me and gave me a quick squeeze.

You must have been whipped out gurl she said with a smirk.

I nodded and smiled Yeah I must have been

I looked over to the table and Sheriton was sitting with… Shay is that you! I had hardly recognized him, he was totally different from the old skinny tall Indian Welsh boy I used to know: Sheriton wasn’t lying, he had buffed up!

Hey Weni, long time Shay acted casual, such a man’s man now, he seemed too manly to give his old friend a hug.

I know I haven’t seen Shay in years but he was acting like we were strangers, I accepted quite quickly that it could be because we were apart for five years and so much has changed, or worse, maybe he knew about me!, I hoped he didn’t but then I did because I was searching for answers to why my best childhood friend was distancing himself from me.

How have you been? I asked Did your parents get that house in Newquay after?

Shay chuckled Yeah. Kam can’t help but bored me most weekends of how shit it is in the south. She wishes she was here or back in Mumbles: figures.

I thought it was funny but not nearly as funny as Shay’s accent, no matter how long he’d been here he still sounded Welsh! A 5th generation and still no doubt of his roots, he maybe Indian but he was a born and breed Welshman.

Shay was never a shy guy either, not even when he was a little Indian boy! You could tell his confidence with the way he held himself and his dress-sense, his attitude towards me indicated just how much he’d grown up: I guess now he’s a man. I watched him watch me, paying no attention to his thoughts but my own. I tracked his hair, spiked and gelled slanting to the right side, he grew a beard that lined the shape of his face and a little goatee line in the middle of his chin to complete his style. He dressed like Perri did; if they weren’t from different backgrounds you’d think they were brothers! And he had ear piercings: both encrusted with a white diamond, just like Perri, Ha-ha!

Sheriton was sitting next to him looking at me with curious eyes, obviously wondering what I was thinking while I stared at him, something I’d later have to explain was completely innocent regardless of my look, and I was just stunned.

You staying for good now… ? Shay asked.

I sat down beside him Yeah, I’m not going anywhere for a while

Shay smiled and nodded with understanding Good to hear it. It’s been dull and these girls weren’t telling me shit Shay muttered glancing Sheriton and I gave a little giggle, I turned to look out over the balcony Yeah we’re off as soon as you’re ready. I need to get my sun on Shay said catching my glance.

I smiled widely, it had been a while for me, but I too was looking forward to it. I can’t remember the last time I was on a beach or in a pair of shorts for that matter. I rubbed his back as a friendly gesture, trying to warm him to me, showing him nothing has changed and he smiled, I could see the old Shay in there somewhere, he’d come back to me soon enough.

Callia came and sat down beside me, she put her arm around my neck and my focus went to her.

I hear you’re giving out pressies?

I laughed uncontrollably, Sheriton rolled her eyes and I sensed this conversation had taken place earlier at some point.

Ooh yeah! And who told you that I wonder?

Sheriton smirked Actually Taifa saw my camera last night when I helped her get Calli in bed. The Girl was wasted but she noticed the cam in her face and of course told Callia

I laughed, quite the scenario. Sheriton filming the girls coming in blotto, something I must see when we sit down on watch it sometime. I liked the thought that Sheriton had taken to the camera as I had asked, that she’d begun documenting things even when I wasn’t around to remind her to do so, I knew she’d enjoy her gift, it was good: I knew I could count on her to do this.

I got everyone something… I confirmed.

Shay looked at me with surprise Even you! I nudged him with my elbow: he smiled and nudged me back.

I just think maybe you guys should wait until the others are here. That way we’re all together and you can all share them together

Sheriton laughed at what I said Ha! See. I’m the favourite.

I smirked and nodded my head at her It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that you would have been the first Rizzo

Calli chucked You’re the only one who can’t wait!

We all laughed together, it was so true, I know I would seem I have a favourite but it’s not because I like her best, I love them all the same it’s just Sheriton and I have been through the most together and she’s always with me, she was the first, it’s only natural she’d get hers before the others because she was with me at the time: and she couldn’t wait! And mainly because Sheriton begins and ends, everything begins and ends with her, she will be my first.

I need to talk to you all as well which is another reason why I want you all together. I added.

Some serious talk had to be done: Cualli had suggested to me before that everything would be revealed when we were all together, this was it, and finally we’d all hear it out, even me. Cualli was going to be forthcoming about everything, I had finally reached this moment and I’m thankful and relieved by it all.

I saw Shay nod with agreement, he had so much he needed to ask now I had mentioned it.

So much you need to update us on, Weni he agreed If we’re going to be a part of this, not just me, but we all need to know what we’re up against here.

He had grown up! Normally Shay would be the first in the line of jumping feet first but he was sitting back and waiting, he was waiting for his calling: I’d certainly give him his role in this soon enough.

I looked around for a second Taifa not here? I asked to whoever would answer but they all did.

Closing Shop

I smiled at the three as they spoke in unison.

We’ve decided this morning we’d close the shop for a few days. We could have a little fun. Taifa is making sure the shop will be alright for a few days and the money is in a safe place. Sheriton explained the plan.

A.C.M.S

We headed down the beach. A thousand and fifty odd yards west of the Colony was where we were going and I still convinced the girls to walk regardless of their protest, Shay was enthusiastic about walking: of course for the ‘heart rate’ opportunity. But I just wanted to see everything and have a lovely walk in the sun, enjoy my time that’s so fondly against me nowadays.

We could have just sat near our end but Rik had supposedly begged Shay to bring us down to the hotel where he and Shawna worked so he could see me, I’d informed Shay that we were all going out that night so we could have all hooked up then but he said Rik was pretty convincing, I knew he’d miss me. Lol!

We walked the path in between the beach and the park until we reached the ‘Oceanfront Restaurant’ in the Hotel. The hotel was right on the front, it seemed so exciting and easy here, I almost couldn’t wait to start living. The hotel was huge, a good 8 or 9 floors and what looked like a penthouse suite on top. Massive bay windows, lots of lovely natural light reflections: deffo a hotel for high rollers, not my thing, I would have probably have lost all sense of reality by standing in the lobby! So Sheriton and I went to go sit down on the sand to wait for Rik to come out: looking up to this incredible place was giving me a crick in the neck.

So where’s Perri this morning? I asked her.

He’ll be here now. He had a shoot this morning so he’s running late Sheriton said with a slight smile.

How does that feel? I asked, imitating her smile.

How does what feel? Sheriton played dumb, but I could tell she knew what I meant, not just by her slight smile.

I laughed and nudged her with my body. You know exactly what I’m talking about… dating a famous model!

Sheriton smirked and looked away It feels good! Especially when you’re actually touching that body

We both laughed together in hysteria, yeah I can only image, I looked him up as well while I was away, and Perri was deffo on my top five of fab bods list! Never noticed him before that though, he used to be the four eyed geeky type.

I nudged her again He looked good when I saw him yesterday, I hardly recognised him I was honest.

Sheriton pulled her cam out from her bag, turning it on she put it in our faces.

Right now, Perri, we’re talking about you. Yes, yes I know! Sheriton smiled into the camera We’re waiting for you to arrive: Awen says you looked good yesterday so take it all in, you were right! Awen was crunching on you yesterday

I laughed I was not! and blushed.

Sheriton laughed It’s okay though… As she glanced me she smiled and said Oh I love you so much, I don’t know if I ever say it or if I even say it enough, but I hope that one day you and I do make it, make it that much that we eventually get married and have children because I’ve never been able to see myself with anyone else other than you

Sheriton began pouring her heart out to him over the Cam, another reason why I think the Cam was a good idea to give to Sheriton, she had so much to get off her chest, things she found difficult sometimes getting out.

I smiled and smoothed her hair with encouragement as she looked to me.

I love you too Per! I laughed over her shoulder into the cam not like she does but I do love ya!

We laughed together and Sheriton gave her closing statement.

And I love how girls flock to you. I love how you make me feel and I love you, I love you, I love you! She laughed again and I pulled her in for a hug.

Such a loving enthusiast my Sheriton is! So full of love I felt every-time we’re together, she is a saint, she loved everyone and cared for everyone, this is another reason she will be my number one: she’ll bring love when there is none; she’ll bring hope when needed.

You crazy moo you I joked and kissed her hair.

Sheriton was so happy, she wrapped her arms around my waist and we sat there together cwtching tightly. I loved seeing her this happy, this was the happy I saw her in my visions, this was what I’d been waiting for: a sign. A sign that everything was alright, that something at least was going right.

Shay and Taifa sat behind us on the stone bench that lined the path looking out to the sea. Sheriton went very quiet, she didn’t see fit to have conversations right now but it was because she couldn’t get last night out of her head, suddenly something had set her off, maybe it was just me?

I could hear her thoughts and she was going nuts about it, I thought we’d got past it since she’d not mentioned it at all when I woke up, but sitting here unoccupied made her think about it more I guess. I was hoping that later when I have them all together that things would finally be laid to rest and everyone knows what’s going on, everyone will know where they stand, that she’ll feel better about it. But she wasn’t showing any signs of that right now, I wasn’t listening to her ponder but I overheard Shay and Taifa discussing where we were going to eat when the others arrived which caught my attention to…

Weni!

I turned to look behind me, to see who’d called me and to my surprise Rik! I was equally amazed when I got to my feet.

Sheriton followed and I saw a rather different Rik from before.

(At this point it seems Sheriton instantly got her cam out and began recording everything). I stood and waited, Rik seemed to be making the journey to me, jogging along. I looked over his shoulder and I could see Shawna, she was putting up a front, she didn’t know how to react to me nor Rik’s friendly greeting. His mind was going mad, he kept thinking things like… "Thank god you’re here . . . I was so worried . . . you didn’t call? . . . you never wrote . . . same