101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes
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About this ebook
101 Poems and Philosophies includes poems and mini-essays about growing older. Oh, what fun it is, arthritis, dementia, and enough anxiety to see you to the cemetery and beyond.
In a serious vein, some pieces present hope for end-of-life issues and, indeed, for the beyond.
Mary Elizabeth Burgess
A retired reading and learning specialist, Mary Elizabeth Burgess has authored a study skills manual, a children’s book, Victoria, and Once Upon a Time...Two, Poems and Tales of her two sons, Scott and Tom. Also numerous articles have been published in The Lutheran and educational journals. She won poetry prizes in 2009 and 2011 for “Grocer’s Picnic, 1959" and “Grand Canyon Sunrise.” Her short story, “The Flowerbed,” won the WITF contest in January, 2013.
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101 Poems and Philosophies for Geezers and Geezerettes - Mary Elizabeth Burgess
© 2013 Mary Elizabeth Burgess. All rights reserved.
Cover credit: Balloons
by Marie Wenner
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
Published by AuthorHouse 12/17/2013
ISBN: 978-1-4918-4161-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4918-4163-1 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-4918-4162-4 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922431
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Prescription
Inventions for Oldsters
A Husband’s Lament
Advice from the Alzheimer’s Association
When They Do the Autopsy
A Podiatrist
Blueberries Are Good For the Brain
History Lessons
The Economy
Things to Do Before I Die
Age-Old Bonds
Catacombs
Good Heavens!
Gardening
Scents and the Advertising Industry
Sundae Forgiveness
Twenty-Fifth Anniversary
Battle of the Sexes
Monday
Requiem for a Marriage
Who Can Know Grief?
After Divorce
Ladies’ Troubles
Bedtime Snack
The Seconds
Counting
If You Remember
Living to Eat
A Fine Restaurant/Ristorante/Restaurante
Hotels and Hotels
Bruges, 1992
To Keith
Sixtieth Birthday
Eulogy to Our Step-Dad, 1995
Maples
Spring Daffodils, I
Meals-on-Wheels
285-7305: Car Trouble!
Mid—and Low-Technology
Touching Paper
Prayer
Disaster
Road Kill
Rain
For the Arthritic
Going to Funerals
Obits.
Steeping
Complaint #1,000, and Prayer
A Conversation with Pain
Courage, Stubbornness, Tenacity
Loneliness
Dating While Lonely
Decisions, Decisions
Memorabilia
Tabloids
Touch
Good-Bye, Tom
Sister Rose
Textures
Magnetic Resonance Imaginer
Fearfully and Wondrously Made
Leaves
October Walk
The Age Effect: Exaggeration
Stepping Stones
Ephemera
After a Long Winter
April
s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g
Living Too Long
Tai Chi
New Things and Old Things
Pianists
Betty
Scaredy-Cats
Faith
Faith and Aging
Let the Good Times Roll
A Migraine’s Prayer
Mammogram
Chemotherapy
Patience
Phases
The New Olympics
No Dieting
Lifeblood
50-100-1000
On Writing
A Place to Live
Peaceable Kingdom: Insects, Arachnids and Annelids
Too Soon
What Did You Do Today?
Life
Prescription
"To ponder what life means
Precipitates sickness," the doctor said.
Not to,
the patient replied,
"Means you’re nearly dead.
"It’s not the asking makes one ill,
But expecting answers will.
"If they come, they are the gifts
Of birds whose songs the gray dawn lifts."
Pub. in George Street Carnival, 1972, and Gifts, 1986
Inventions for Oldsters
This is true (at least the first part).
Airbags for walkers so you can play
Michelin Man and Pillsbury Doughboy
when you trip or bump needlessly.
Hearing aids that glow in the dark in case
you have to answer a two a.m. call.
Rusty joints for hips, knees, shoulders
for built-in malpractice cases.
The baby boomers are making mints off us.
But they need to invent:
sweetly-scented Beano,
nose—and ear-hair clippers with platinum handles, and
multi-colored Depends for multi-colored ingestions.
A Husband’s Lament
The cause of E. D. is grandchildren.
Those wees, the threes, rouse you to wee,
and who can get it on or off when there’s three
in your bed. They age, as do you, but by then they’ll
want to know what grown-ups do behind closed doors.
Parents can close doors, but not grandparents.
Oh, no, they’d rather be dead than lock out
a dearly beloved grandchild.
In inverse proportion your passion has gone out of fashion
as theirs is coming into.
It’s been so long since you made love
you’ve forgotten how to.
Your face’d be red if you even tried to cuddle in bed.
What’s a guy for?
By now you’ve forgotten. But hey, there’s help—ta-da!
Viagra to the rescue!
If it’s good enough for Dole, it’s good enough for you.
So get up! Get going! Say, "Get into bed, pardner—
you’re burning daylight."
Just pop that pill with a swill of red wine,
get the blood pumpin’, you’ll be sumpin’,
by the time it’s ’leven—quick now—
before the little one’s seven.
There’ll come a time when the tide will turn:
the little ones will become bigger ones,
and they’ll have their own little ones—oh, sure,
they will make love, till their little ones
sleep between them.
Meantime, buy Viagra, go to Niagara, pop it nightly
before your wife turns unsightly.
Pray.
Advice from the Alzheimer’s Association
Get plenty of mental stimulation: read, do puzzles,
learn a new language or hobby, go to the theater,
listen to CD’s, travel.
Exercise: dance, walk or jog, walk (in water or